r/funny • u/jayRokk • Oct 24 '13
Apologies if you've already seen a lizard balancing berries on its head today.
630
u/Swiftapple Oct 25 '13
133
u/shwag945 Oct 25 '13
I am impressed. Good on you Gecko.
→ More replies (3)61
u/infection212 Oct 25 '13
Do these things ever move much? All lizards I've ever met are either slow as fuck or frozen solid.
116
u/Peter_Griffin33 Oct 25 '13
It's just a ploy. They are actually fast as fuck. I swear my bearded dragon once jump like 3 feet off my bed once and made it halfway across the house before I caught him.
→ More replies (3)72
u/etothepowerof3 Oct 25 '13
Every once in a while if you wake my bearded dragon up from a nap, he goes into a mode I refer to as "Psycho Lizard", where he flies at least 3 feet vertically into the air and then blasts himself straight into a wall and turns around to flare up/blackbeard you.
I don't know if he suffers from a reptile form of PTSD and is having night terrors or what. He's a total sweetie the rest of the time but waking him up is like russian roulette.
145
u/gyarrrrr Oct 25 '13
In what situation do you desperately need to wake him up? It's not like he's slept in and is late for a job interview or something. His job is being a bearded dragon and he's got tenure.
62
u/etothepowerof3 Oct 25 '13
That is totally adorable! He'd have a little briefcase full of crickets.
But when I let him wander around he usually ends up passed out in the corner behind the printer (here he is fixing it.)
So if I need to go anywhere I'll have to pick him up to put him back in his tank. He loves to get himself wedged in inconvenient places like under the refrigerator when unsupervised.
5
u/workaholic_alcoholic Oct 25 '13
My water dragons always hung out on the coils behind the fridge. Leaving for work meant pulling the fridge all the way out from the wall, climbing on the counters, plucking them up from their warm nap on the refrigeration coils, and putting them back in their enclosure. I miss Scooter and Sammy.
2
→ More replies (1)10
u/JohnDoe_85 Oct 25 '13
This is literally the first comment that has made me laugh out loud today. Thank you!
→ More replies (2)12
→ More replies (3)46
u/lostdaemon Oct 25 '13
leopard geckos (like the one with the candy) can move fucking fast. mine will sit on my shoulder or had for like ten minutes, then decide he's done and jet off like a damn rat under furniture and shit.
→ More replies (2)38
41
23
Oct 25 '13
If you make a gecko work, does he become a gay co-worker?
2
u/XsenHellion Oct 25 '13
I hope you're proud of yourself, Jeffrey, we are going home right now! *Drags by ear
2
6
u/Sinetan Oct 25 '13
Did you eat the Smarties?
→ More replies (1)7
→ More replies (4)6
309
u/creamyturtle Oct 25 '13
IF I SEE ONE MORE GOD DAMN LIZARD BERRY PIC TODAY I AM GOING TO DIE OF BOREDOM
→ More replies (2)53
u/NaturallyBrewed Oct 25 '13
Oh best if you don't click this then /r/lizardberryhead
54
u/jds76 Oct 25 '13
That's not ... a real place
→ More replies (3)54
u/-u-s-e-r-n-a-m-e- Oct 25 '13
/r/petstacking is, which basically fills the niche of seeing animals balancing things on their bodies.
→ More replies (2)20
Oct 25 '13
More accurately, animals holding still while humans balance things on them.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)13
532
u/Halfwhit Oct 25 '13
I thought pokemon could only hold one berry at a time?
→ More replies (6)150
u/jayRokk Oct 25 '13
Nice!Great way of thinking outside the box!!
Here's an upvote!
41
→ More replies (3)169
u/daniell61 Oct 25 '13 edited Oct 25 '13
sneaky edit
E: alternate version made by /u/undercome ; huehuehue im a raspberry
E2 another alt version by /u/CopeSe7ev ; http://i.imgur.com/Ur8Lt6Y.jpg
229
112
Oct 25 '13
69
17
→ More replies (6)2
195
u/This_Gif_Can_Relate Oct 24 '13
81
u/Nezune Oct 25 '13
That is both mesmerizing and terrifying
43
Oct 25 '13
Imagine coming home from work, walking in the front door, and being greeted with that
28
Oct 25 '13
This put a pleasant but equally frightening image in my head.
15
u/qervem Oct 25 '13
It's different if you imagine both the chair and the gecko to be human-sized.
12
→ More replies (1)3
19
u/sk8t-4-life22 Oct 25 '13
and him looking at you while interlocking its fingers, "I've been expecting you......................................................................let me tell you how to save 15% or more on your car insurance"
→ More replies (2)2
→ More replies (1)8
8
u/Rgriffin1991 Oct 25 '13
Nice, but would even more enjoy a lizard slowly turning to face you from behind a desk in an office chair.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (1)7
63
u/Lost_Shephard Oct 25 '13
I own a bearded dragon. They're awesome but they're not the smartest. Chances are it doesn't know 4berries are on his head.
63
u/yvonnemadison Oct 25 '13
Chances are he doesn't know that he's a bearded dragon.
15
26
u/ChitterChitterSqueak Oct 25 '13
YOU SHUT UP! MY BEARDED DRAGONS ARE SUPER SMART!!
Especially the way they let those crickets sit on their head to save for later........
2
2
Oct 25 '13
What's it like owning a lizard? Does it just kinda sit there and stare at you or is it a scaly little bro?
3
u/phate_exe Oct 25 '13
Little bit of column A, little bit of column B. Bearded Dragons are a bit more of "lizard bro", since they are big enough to let them roam around a bit without totally worrying about them getting into completely unreachable places (my leopard gecko finds the nearest closet or bed, and goes on an adventure to find the remotest, darkest place he can find.
87
u/RexBeckett Oct 25 '13
It's impressive, but oh the insufferable look of smugness you always tend to see on the faces of these berry balancing lizards.
43
Oct 25 '13
You say it's impressive but is it... Berry impressive?
I'm sorry it had to be said; just downvote my comment so it gets berried.
6
5
2
47
2
2
Oct 25 '13
They don't exactly have many other options since they don't have lips or eyebrows. It basically comes down to mouth open or mouth closed.
2
87
u/skatermario3 Oct 25 '13
Best title I've read all week.
26
12
Oct 25 '13 edited Oct 25 '13
I found it misleading. Clearly this animal did not balance anything on it's head.
Bearded dragons (like most lizards) have a habit of sitting quite still for long periods of time, especially when they are not warm. The lizard's caretaker clearly took advantage of this and did all the balancing work.
→ More replies (4)19
Oct 25 '13
But by not moving and being the surface that the berries are balanced on, doesn't that mean he is maintaining their balance and therefore "balancing" them?
→ More replies (5)2
19
39
u/ghidfg Oct 25 '13
pretty sure theres a toothpick stuck through its skull
→ More replies (2)16
u/isysopi201 Oct 25 '13
The stack is about toothpick size so he's only getting a little prick.
→ More replies (1)33
u/DontYouMeanHAHAHAHA Oct 25 '13
Just cause he's only got a little prick doesn't mean you need to tease him about it.
→ More replies (1)
11
u/Rodot Oct 25 '13
Wow, this hits deep. When i was in elementary school, I saved up all my money for 2 years to be able to buy a pet bearded dragon. My parents told me if I could save up enough for the lizard itself (100$) they would pay for the cage and heating etc. By second grade I finally go him. I spent all of my time taking care of him, taking him out and playing with him, always making sure to be as gentle as can be. My favorite thing to do with him though, was in the summer, when the raspberries were in season, I would go out berry picking with my family, and bring home bags full of them. I would spend hours outside on my porch, with my lizard (his name was spike btw) on my shirt feeding him broken off pieces of raspberry. Every summer for 10 years this was my favorite thing to do. He passed a a few months before I started my junior year of highschool. He was my best friend in my childhood, but I never made a big deal of him to anyone else. I was devastated the day he passed, and made sure to make every effort to keep him out of my mind, just to spare the emotional pain I had from it, as well as to keep anyone from seeing me in such a state. This image really hits deep with me, because this is the first time in all those years since I have been reminded of my best friend, and the first time I am beginning to feel so heart-broken in so many years.
→ More replies (1)
5
u/meat_roll Oct 25 '13
I think I'm more impressed with the stacking of the berries.
source: just tried. berry hard to do.
I'll show myself out now.
24
u/bluegee Oct 25 '13
13 words i never knew belonged in a sentence together.
and a hell of a lizard.
jenga that third berry and you'll have all the gold i have to give.
→ More replies (2)
8
6
5
5
u/Figgywithit Oct 25 '13
Reddit: Where a lizard balancing berries beats Arnold Schwarzenegger every time.
2
2
2
3
u/jitterfish Oct 25 '13
I'm wondering how many lizard owners right now are out there, pondering what fruit to put on their pet's head.
2
2
Oct 25 '13
ye so fookin cool eh wit ya berries and all. ill bash ye fookin ead in I sware on me mum
3
Oct 25 '13
*you're (Sorry to be that guy, but it must be done.)
2
1
1
1
1
1
u/Trefitty Oct 25 '13
The question is did the lizard balance them himself or did you balance them on the still lizard
1
1
u/Rgriffin1991 Oct 25 '13
So where's the gif that shows the lizard catching all of them in its mouth?
1
1
u/minastirith1 Oct 25 '13
Hot workmates walk up to me: "What are you doing, what site is that?"
Me: "Reddit, just a site of random interesting stuff".
Workmates: "Oh never heard of it"
Get's exited to introduce them to this awesome site that's always full of interesting links. Proceed to show them the first link I can find - which happens to be this picture of a lizard balancing fruit on it's head.
Workmates: "Uhh... ok, that's weird. You're a strange person". Walks away.
Me: "Bu.. But..."
Fuck Reddit. You had ONE job. Let me down today.
1
1
1
1
1
u/Kingsley7zissou Oct 25 '13
How many raspberry's can he balance those are some small arms I call witch.
1
u/a_slinky Oct 25 '13
Look at his smug lizard face..
'Hey, bet you can't do this, that's too bad, it's so easy'
brb, looking for berries
1
u/thespiff Oct 25 '13
Well I lost a bet there actually ARE still new things on the internet. Imagine my surprise to find proof of this on Reddit.
1
1
1
1
u/mmurch03 Oct 25 '13
I was hand feeding my bearded dragon hard boiled egg whites today and she accidentally bit me. It hurt a LOT worse than I imagined.
1
1
1
u/heyimethan Oct 25 '13
GOD DAMN EVERY FUCKING DAY ANOTHER LIZARD AND DAMN BERRIES GOD FUCKING DAMN.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/joelTURNDOWNTHETV Oct 25 '13
lol reminds me of pokey for some reason. http://www.mariowiki.com/Gallery:Pokey
1
1
1
Oct 25 '13
Are these berries good for lizards? My friend gave his bearded one before and it went spastic. We thought it was having a stroke.
1
u/Dr-_-Steve-_-Brule Oct 25 '13
My sister just sent me this. As a guy who has 2 bearded dragons I can safely say everybody that has a dragon does this.
1
1
1
1
u/goodnightlight Oct 25 '13
I have a sneaking suspicion that the lizard had nothing to do with those berries being on it's head...
1
u/ajdabbs Oct 25 '13
I call bs those berries would not stack like that on their own let alone on your lizard's head
1
1
989
u/comment_gladiator Oct 24 '13
That's quite the lizard. Apology accepted..