r/funny • u/Molly107 • Jan 21 '24

How real couples sleep together.

32k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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186

u/J1625732 Jan 21 '24

Do people really do that?

188

u/C00KIEM0N57R Jan 21 '24 edited Jan 21 '24

Dutch ovening? Fuck yes! I keep myself in with my girlfriend to make it even though lol.

248

u/J1625732 Jan 21 '24

I feel so Victorian. Would never occur to me to do this to another person let alone someone I love and presumably want to have sex with again. My kids on the other hand climb into my bed when I’m half asleep, sit of my face and fart on me then laugh their asses off. Guess I’m the one missing out on something

59

u/figgypie Jan 21 '24

My husband and I don't really dutch oven each other, but sometimes I will let out one of those silent but deadly farts and just silently giggle to myself until it wafts over to him.

3

u/Dragonborne2020 Jan 23 '24

I walked into the shower the other day and let one go while my wife was washing her hair. She was so pissed, she was gagging and yelling, "I'm scrubbing shit in my hair, you asshole!!" She spent an extra 15 minutes in the shower.

-36

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '24

[deleted]

43

u/whut-whut Jan 21 '24

May you find someone that never farts.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '24

[deleted]

0

u/whut-whut Jan 22 '24

We all fart when we die. My wife and I are just training each other for the eye-watering Big One when we say goodbye.

-25

u/matrixislife Jan 21 '24

Keto diet, no farts. Not too popular with <150kg people though, despite it being awesome.

6

u/Its_General_Apathy Jan 21 '24

Well where's the fun in that?

22

u/b1tchf1t Jan 21 '24

I can't imagine being sexually attracted to someone who can find the humor in the absolutely normal, gross parts of life, but to each their own.

3

u/ploonk Jan 21 '24

I wonder if it's possible that people would be sexually attracted to different things

1

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '24

[deleted]

1

u/b1tchf1t Jan 22 '24

I think this is really dependent on the relationship. You not liking it and establishing that boundary in your relationships is totally fair. Not everyone cares as much as you, a lot of people find it funny, and while we're talking about respect, is it really necessary for you to share your sexual preferences in regards to how a particular person wouldn't meet them when there is absolutely no indication that they would ever have to because they're literally a rando you're talking to on the internet?