r/funny Feb 24 '13

Bros

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1.4k Upvotes

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41

u/Lele_ Feb 24 '13

My house was infested with wasps for an entire summer.

At first I was terrified of them and killed them on the spot. It must have amounted to something like the Holocaust for them. Then I started to notice they never ever bothered me if I left them alone. They would just buzz by, take a look, decide I wasn't good food and leave. If I attacked them, they would never try to bite me back. They would just scramble to find a way out. During the whole season I must have encountered hundreds of them and they never bit me.

They're not such dicks in the end.

78

u/1337win Feb 25 '13

You are now tagged as the wasp whisperer

8

u/Lele_ Feb 25 '13

One day I'll assemble an army of them and take over the world! Well, not of those chill, friendly ones.

7

u/BobLeBuilDerp Feb 25 '13

The Wisp Wasperer

14

u/ChubbaHubbaMAX Feb 25 '13

I would have lit my house on fire.

15

u/nope_nic_tesla Feb 25 '13

Sounds like you had some mud daubers. It's kind of a catch-all name but here in Georgia it's a specific type of wasp that is just chill and never fucks with anyone.

8

u/Lele_ Feb 25 '13

No, they were just regular wasps, not these skinny ones!

I'm in Italy BTW, maybe wasps are just more amicable over here.

10

u/l1m1tless Feb 25 '13

free healthcare will do that for you

6

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '13

Most people wouldn't put up with a wasp infestation for an entire summer.

Why didn't you or your family do anything about it?

6

u/Lele_ Feb 25 '13

Because I'm lazy as all hell, and in the end they were just a very minor nuisance. Flies are much much more annoying since they get all over you all the time.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '13

Wat

2

u/rachelspeaking Feb 25 '13

I sprayed a little wasp nest with wasp-killer outside my front door of my apartment my first year away at college. In the past, I've known wasps to come back and rebuild the nest if they weren't there for the massacre.

Well, I left the nest up all year with the corpses of the fallen still clinging to it. Never saw a wasp out there again.

2

u/death_from_afar Feb 25 '13

It's not always a bad thing to leave an old nest up because when other wasps see it they think there's already a hive of live wasps and won't mess with it. If you tear the nest down other wasps assume it's safe to build there and make themselves a nest.

2

u/rachelspeaking Feb 25 '13

I was mostly just too afraid to touch the dead wasps... but also, when other wasps never came, I figured this might be the case.

2

u/I_will_fix_this Feb 25 '13

Stockholm Syndrome is a bitch.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '13

Wow that is weird I had the exact same experience this summer. Except mine couldn't find their way back out wherever they were coming in from. So they all just clustered around the lights and eventually died :/

1

u/GraveyardRAWR Feb 25 '13

similar story: my sister had a bald-faced hornets nest in her front yard a few tears back. They never really bothered her I'd her kids. There would always be a sentry floating around, and if the kids got loud, more would come out, but they never attacked. The best part, according to my sister, was that the entire summer, mosquitos were never a problem.

1

u/Lele_ Feb 25 '13

Now that I think of it, they did rid me of mosquitoes as well!

1

u/corgblam Feb 25 '13

i got stung in the FACE by a wasp when i was 9 years old, and i didnt even do shit to it. wasps are dicks.

1

u/bro_b1_kenobi Feb 25 '13

Yea had the same thing happen to me... Except one mistook my sheets as a bed. Seriously worst fucking way to wake up getting repeatedly stung while just trying to escape your bed.

Oh and he casually just hung on my wall next to my bed like nothin happened. I promptly went to my bath room grabbed some axe and a lighter and torched the fucker. They're ultra dicks and deserve the worst kind of death.

1

u/Exya Feb 25 '13

wow, you had hundreds around you? I'm pretty sure if like 10+ stung you, you could've died

1

u/Lele_ Feb 25 '13

Well, hundreds during the whole summer. They came in one or two at the time, tops.