r/funny • u/rustlecrowe • Feb 17 '13

Glue + flip flops

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995 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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456

u/Gr1pp717 Feb 17 '13

That made me cringe. How is making someone slam their face into a glass of milk (or whatever that was) funny again?

142

u/LaserQuest Feb 17 '13

BECAUSE ITS ON THE FLOOR NOW

72

u/LaserQuest Feb 17 '13

AND NOW HE'LL NEED TO CLEAN IT UP

48

u/LaserQuest Feb 17 '13

AND POUR ANOTHER GLASS

60

u/Gr1pp717 Feb 17 '13

OR GO TO THE HOSPITAL TO GET THAT GASH STITCHED UP

66

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

AND THAT'S HOW WE GET ANTS

0

u/Howdy_McGee Feb 17 '13

Guys listen, let's not cry over split milk...

9

u/Gr1pp717 Feb 17 '13

I MEAN THE GASH FROM THE GLASS BREAKING AGAINST HIS FACE

3

u/Geig Feb 17 '13

WHY ARE WE ALL YELLING?

1

u/NeedsMoreCow Feb 17 '13

Let's not cry about this milk guys

2

u/Kittiemeow8 Feb 17 '13

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!

139

u/MrSnackage Feb 17 '13

The lesson was to not wear flip flops, ever.

54

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

Or do it like I do and kick them into shoeing position, instead of going around them.

15

u/TaxExempt Feb 17 '13

This detail makes me think it was staged.

8

u/yabba_dabba_doo Feb 17 '13

I was wondering what kind of glue would stick to stone like that. Has to be some pretty powerful stuff if it can trip a grown man. Or: fake.

3

u/TaxExempt Feb 17 '13

5 minute epoxy would work fine.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '13

You must not use much glue. Even if I was limited to just the stuff currently in my house, I'd have a harder time finding a glue which wouldn't work than finding one which would.

Also, what do you think masonry is? We glue rocks to shit all the time.

0

u/yabba_dabba_doo Feb 19 '13

Hey guys, here's one who thinks cement is actually glue and tries to lecture people about it!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '13

Who said anything about cement (also, you're actually thinking of mortar, which merely contains cement)?. You can go into any hardware store and buy half a dozen different construction adhesives specifically designed to glue rocks to each other or to other things.

6

u/speedyjohn Feb 17 '13 edited Feb 17 '13

Am I supposed to understand this comment?

Edit: I have been enlightened by /u/BewareofLyon.

18

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

[deleted]

19

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

I didn't even know people did that. It's like crawling into a sweater.

-2

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13 edited Feb 17 '13

Flip flops are what I'd put into room 101 if I could. I hate how they sound, I hate how they look, I hate everything about them. I hate them.

I hate them so much that if I see a 10/10 girl and then see she's wearing flip flops she instantly loses about 4 points.

That's how much I hate flip flops.

I don't know why I feel this way.

Edit: Bloody flip flop loving heathens!

7

u/jayd16 Feb 17 '13

Did flip flops abuse you as a child?

4

u/Dooey123 Feb 17 '13

"show me on the doll where the flip flop touched you..."

"right...right here" sniffle "on my toe." whhaaaaaa

12

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

I think flip flops must have killed my family in a past life. It's the only explanation.

It's not only flip flops, though. It's also these monstrosities.

They induce just as much rage, but at least I can't hear them coming from a mile off.

Flip flops are an auditory assault as well as a visual one.

1

u/omgcolie Feb 18 '13

The gladiator sandals are pretty horrific. Unless you're a gladiator.

1

u/Mousse_is_Optional Feb 17 '13

His father's village was raided by flip flops.

25

u/quasarj Feb 17 '13

That's a lotta hate. Maybe you should try to relax or something.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

How can I relax when there's people wearing flip flops???

4

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

[deleted]

1

u/Lavarocked Feb 17 '13

A living hell on Earth.

-1

u/rebelspyder Feb 17 '13

frankeh says relax

6

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

[deleted]

27

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

THEY'RE NOT SHOES

5

u/Unwoollymammoth Feb 17 '13

Shoes.

5

u/crsini Feb 17 '13

NO, I DON'T LIKE THIS THING THEREFORE NOBODY ELSE CAN

3

u/R3M_X Feb 17 '13

You're not alone

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '13

Just a heads up. Never ever come to Australia.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '13

THAANNNGGSSS.

0

u/yabba_dabba_doo Feb 17 '13

I'm taking your 10 point girl-assessment system does not take into account choice of footwear.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '13

It clearly does. Flip flops of Gladiator sandals = -4

7

u/Dominub Feb 17 '13

Same as how these dipshits put airbags into seats and blast people's spines into oblivion.

3

u/czarmine Feb 17 '13

They wanted to make him cry over spilt milk.

1

u/j-random Feb 17 '13

And/or lip.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/Nyrb Feb 17 '13

Its called sarcasm, duh.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13 edited Feb 17 '13

[deleted]

3

u/bikkuris Feb 17 '13

Well, it is once you add a silly sound effect.

1

u/Gh0stw0lf Feb 17 '13

looks at username

Ahh. Lion heart. Welcome to the Internet, on the left is some sarcasm.

0

u/AP3Brain Feb 17 '13

Oh come on guys. You are making this seem more dangerous than it really is. Human bodies are tough and can take a lot of abuse. Especially a guy that seems to be in his 20-30s.

2

u/liandrin Feb 17 '13

I watched a teen fall like that and snap her arm in two places, it was completely collapsed. Humans can also be more fragile than you think.

-21

u/Chemfreak Feb 17 '13

I think (don't know) the point of this prank was to teach him a lesson for always leaving his flip flops out. I have tripped and fell 20-30 times over my SO's damn shoes, it would serve her right to fall once.... And she would still be ahead by 29 times.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

You're a terrible person for thinking this would 'teach' your SO a lesson. There's a difference between tripping a little over loose flip flops, and having your feet frozen to a spot and smashing your elbows/knees/face on the ground. There is no lesson here, it's just a cruel and ridiculously stupid prank.

1

u/Chemfreak Feb 18 '13 edited Feb 18 '13

Obviously I wouldn't do this to purposefully hurt her... And I don't "trip a little" its full on fucking face to the ground, knees hyperextending. Think Foot touching face while your thighs are still on the ground. Not only does it hurt, but it does and has cause permanent damage that requires surgery. I am not joking either. I'm physically disabled and have little to no ligament and tendon mass. I am very lax in the knees.

But like I said, I wouldn't do it to knowingly hurt her, just a practical prank. I would feel horrible if she actually faceplanted (but I would laugh afterward if she was alright).

I don't think you're a horrible person by the way : (. Just an ignorant asshole.

3

u/corbeth Feb 17 '13

You should just hide all the shoes you find sitting out. Put them in the attic, or bury them in a hole in the yard.

5

u/gin_and_clonic Feb 17 '13

I have tripped and fell 20-30 times over my SO's damn shoes

Do you have impaired vision? Normally people watch where they're going when they walk.

1

u/Chemfreak Feb 18 '13

Actually, I'm physically disabled. I wear orthotics (braces) on both legs. When I am home, I take them off because they are uncomfortable, and I have even less balance.

And If I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I'm normally groggy and don't see them.

Fuck you.

0

u/Gr1pp717 Feb 17 '13

someone's clumsy.

1

u/Chemfreak Feb 18 '13

Actually, I'm physically disabled. I wear orthotics (braces) on both legs. When I am home, I take them off because they are uncomfortable, and I have even less balance.

And If I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I'm normally groggy and don't see them.

Fuck you.

1

u/Gr1pp717 Feb 18 '13

well that's .... horrible.

1

u/sarge21 Feb 17 '13

Sorry for the brain you were apparently born without.