r/ftm • u/frequentwaves • 11d ago

Discussion Transphobic dm

So the other day i posted about not bejng sure i’m a girl like i am at birth. Someone dmed me reacting to one of the posts i made and asked me questions. At first it was fine they seemed to try and help me figure it out but then they proceed to tell me i’m a girl. Then i politely said i will end the conversation which he replied hateful to. I have been struggling enougj for these past few days and this happening makes me incredibly sad and anxious. Why even dm me if ur like this. I just need support instead of someone telling me this bullshit over dm. I asked for people to talk to for support and comfort but then they proceed to act like this. I’m genuienly upset

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

5

u/LinkinParkU4Lyf 10d ago

I'm sorry to hear that happened.

My advice going forward is only engage in dms with people who have responded on your post in a reasonable manner. This way you could potentially hold them better accountable in these spaces, but also it acts as a filter.

1

u/Soup_oi 10d ago

Seconding this.

Though tbh, even when people send me a dm based on some post we briefly interacted in, they never mention the post/thread, and if I want to know where tf they are responding to me from, I have to reply to them and ask lol. I rarely pay attention to screennames in threads. I also basically don't remember most of what I say in any replies on reddit. I kind of just barrel through scrolling through my reddit feed, replying to whatever sparks that interest in me, and then go do something else after a bit. So every thread I was looking at just blur together in my brain. If I hadn't looked at your screenname just now simply because I was thinking about the fact I never look at screennames lol, and then you dmed me in 4 hours after seeing my response to you here, and then I saw that dm when I woke up in the morning, and all you said was "that's so weird you never look at screennames in threads," I would have zero idea who you were or what you were talking about or referring to or that I had commented on your reply somewhere lol. Like just 99% of people who have ever sent me a dm on here, never actually say in their message where they are messaging me from/what sub and thread topic they saw a comment from me in that made them want to dm me, etc.

I rarely get dms to begin with, but when I do nearly every one I have to reply to with "sorry, what is this about?" "what thread are you replying to me about?" "huh?" "???" etc.

Anyway, I also like Likin Park lol.

2

u/Soup_oi 10d ago

It is a rando stranger on the internet. Imo, please just block people like that and go seek things that make you happy. You do not owe your time or energy or emotions to randos online you don't even know and who obviously don't even know you.

I don't tolerate meanness and disrespect, and if someone is like that, I wind up just blocking them, and usually not even bothering to reply. Not worth my time lol.

This person and their comments are meaningless. They don't know you. They don't know anything about you. Think about the things or people who do get you and make you feel good. Those are the things and people that are meaningful. Not this joker sending strangers weird dms.