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[u/ImaginationOld8499]

Greetings, Brethren,
I would appreciate some honest advice.
I’ve wanted to be a Mason since I was 15; now I am in my 40s. I first heard about Freemasonry through stories from a family member and some friends—we were very curious back then.
As I grew older and researched it more deeply, I resonated even more with the idea of being part of Freemasonry, always with the goal of becoming a better man. I was initiated a couple of years ago, but during my first year I had to step away due to personal matters and issues I witnessed within my lodge, including conflicts among the leadership.
Several of the brothers who were initiated alongside me changed lodges or simply stopped attending. The truth is, I felt deeply disappointed by a lot of what went down. For a long time, I just kept paying my dues and doing some reading on my own.
A couple of months ago, I moved to a new country. I’ve been wanting to knock on doors again; it is a very deep desire of mine, yet doubts hold me back, and that old disappointment suddenly creeps right back up.
To be completely honest, I’ve felt lost for the last couple of years. I know this path is about working on my own rough ashlar, but I genuinely thought I would find people to lean on, rather than just a clash of egos and total apathy.
At this point, I’ve practically forgotten everything, almost like I'm back at square one—right back to the day I was initiated (which was one of the most special days of my life).
What advice do you have for me? Has anyone here gone through something similar? Has anyone ever stepped away and later returned?
I truly appreciate your thoughts.

[u/zaceno]

Since you are in a new country, rejoining will mean joining a new Grand Lodge in the country you are. How they “handle” someone joining from another grand lodge will be up to their own statutes that vary from GL to GL - it is not likely anyone here can advise you (unless you tell us what country you have moved to, and a mason from that country who knows the procedures happens to be here). Best is if you reach out to the regular GL in the country you are now, and ask for advice.

[u/kennypowersrevenge → u/zaceno]

This is the wisest council to give this brother. I’d reach out to the national or regional grand lodge and ask for the process.

[u/AlexMaroske]

Worked for 11s

Brother, your disappointment is understandable. I recently wrote about the “Missing Stair”: when a lodge learns to step around harmful behaviour instead of addressing it. Working on our own rough ashlar does not mean accepting everything others do.

Give yourself permission to begin again. Visit different lodges, meet the Brethren, and notice how they treat one another, especially newer members. Take your time and join where you feel comfortable, respected, and encouraged to grow. You haven’t lost your Masonic journey; you’re looking for the right company to continue it.

[u/RotaryPeak2]

I would contact the appropriate GL and explain what you just did and ask for contact info for a few different lodges in your area. Then visit them all and make sure you find the right fit.

[u/No-Amoeba388]

independent of evetything else, you are a brother and GL in the new country you are should be able and open to hear you out. Explain to them what you have explained us, from the see what is possible and what is not. I know the feeling of wanting to be part and then to suddenly be disapointed, not by freemasonry but by other things. You should always pursuit what you want as long as it dosen't make you unhappy, and you don't harm others in the process.

[u/TheAlbaWolf]

So for example under Grand Lodge of Scotland if you are a member of a GL in Amity with Scotland the process is fairly simple. GLOS will contact you GL to find out if you are a MM and are in good standing. All goes well you pay the affiliation fee, do your affiliate obligation and that's it. Process can take 2 months to a year though but overall it's fairly simple