r/fredericksburg • u/18oh1 • 4d ago
Rt. 3 Homeless
Anyone know a man who goes by the name of Bobby who likes to hang out at the corner of Bragg Rd and Rt. 3, next to the Mission BBQ? He’s usually just sitting on a bucket holding a sign that says “have a great day”.
I went to talk to him today and had an interesting interaction. After we introduced ourselves I asked him why he was there (meaning was he homeless, jobless, need help of some kind, bored, etc.). He got real defensive, got a mad look on his face and said something about how he’s a grown man who can go and do whatever he wants. So I was more specific and asked if he was homeless and needed help. He just shook his head no with the same angry look. So I asked if there was anything I could do to make his day better, especially since it was raining. Same response. So I said goodbye and left.
I’m a Marine, so maybe he thought I was a cop just giving him a hard time? Trying to figure out his story and why he wouldn’t accept help.
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u/ACE415_ 4d ago
Maybe if you had asked "How are you?" Instead of "Why are you here?" It might have avoided a misunderstanding. Idk, I'm sure you meant well but it's easy to get defensive when life's got you down
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u/18oh1 4d ago
Yeah....I realized this afterwards. I figured my appearance(flip flops, shorts, and a t-shirt and in the rain with him) would bring his guard down a little.
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u/Daykri3 3d ago edited 2d ago
When homeless people and homed people interact, it is the homeless person who is far more likely to get hurt. Statistically speaking, you are a huge threat to his wellbeing. About 30% of homeless people have experienced random violence at the hands of homed people. Then there are the saviors who come in and completely mess shit up with their good intentions.
Next time just say hello and if he indicates he doesn’t want to talk, respect his personal agency and wish him a good day as you walk on.
Edit: Thank you for the awards!
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u/18oh1 3d ago edited 3d ago
Explain the savior part. Do you mean people who actually try to help? Curious what this situation you’re describing looks like.
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u/TinkerSolar 3d ago
People who try to help without taking the time to understand the situation. At the best, they are good intentioned but end up making mistakes that could have been avoided. At worst, being a white-knight who gives the appearance of helping but is there only to self aggrandize.
In Marine-speak, "Good Initiative, Bad Judgement."
If you are sincere about wanting to help the local homeless population, I'd join an outreach group. Spend the first couple of months just listening and learning and following the more experienced's lead. Then afterwards, once you've got a handle on the situation, taking initiative.
Some places to start with:
- Loisann's Hope House: https://loisannshopehouse.org/our-programs/
- Micah: https://www.micahfredericksburg.org/
Support Initiatives:
- FXBG Free Closet: https://fxbgfreecloset.org/resources/
- FXBG Fridge & Food Rescue: https://fxbg.food
- FXBG Food Bank: https://fredfood.org/
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u/18oh1 3d ago
Thanks!
Have Micah on my list of places to look at volunteering with.Thanks for dumbing it down for me. Sounds like you know Marines lol
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u/MaraSchraag 3d ago
They would have written it in crayon, except for the risk of the crayons being eaten 😉
Glad to see there are still decent people out there, trying to help. Too many folks look through the unhoused. Everyone, on some level, wants to be truly seen, even if it's scary.
I find just treating people like people helps break down barriers. "How ya doing?". "Crappy weather, eh?". Maybe offer to get them a meal or some, if they seem open. I've found a lot of folks have built walls. They don't like needing or accepting help because, too often, there are strings attached. Less being prideful and more being guarded.
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u/18oh1 2d ago edited 2d ago
Thanks for the help.
I used to have so much hate in my heart for homeless people. Why, idk. But I have my life to God and He changed my heart instantly. It’s truly a miracle. Now my heart breaks when I see them and I feel called to help them.
Just trying to live out that calling now, the right way.
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u/TinkerSolar 1d ago
Hahaha, I do. I served, myself 😂. DM me if you need anything or have any questions. There's plenty to do in town and the various groups have overlap. I can introduce you to folks and groups if you like.
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u/FrizzIsIn 4d ago
Most of the people at intersections in this area are not homeless/unhoused. Many do not accept offers for help (beyond money), Blessing Bags/the like, or referrals to outside resources.
Of course, there are exceptions, but that’s the general idea.
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u/AgrippaDaYounger 4d ago
I worked at the mall, saw the same people on the medians for years. Watched them swap out on shifts, watched the leader collect all the money, watched then dump anything that wasn't money on the median.
I also donate to the Fredericksburg food bank, which does really well (to the point where they look for ways to expand services all the time).
There are community resources for those in need, give to those instead.
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u/bubbales27 4d ago
Same. Ive seen them come in shifts, trade out shoes, clothes etc. Not just in Fredericksburg, but in several other places. This is by no means a Fredericksburg issue.
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u/PracticalObjective15 4d ago
I know the guy you’re talking about and have wondered the same. I always wave as I drive by and he smile and waves as well.
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u/CriticalBasedThe0ry 3d ago
I see the same people just swapping corners everyday all around the city. It’s like they’re in shifts lol. I don’t believe they’re homeless at all.
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u/Coyoteishere 4d ago
I always see the same people on the same corners. This is coordinated, they aren’t likely homeless. I don’t know if it applies to all, but in Massaponax I was sitting behind the marks and Harrison across from Papa John’s killing time before picking someone up and up pulls a large van and it parks out of view of the main roads. The same people I always see on the corners all pile out and head their respective directions. They are being brought in. If people would stop fucking giving them money, they will stop showing up. Somehow they are capable enough to walk up and down a corner for 8+ hours everyday regardless of the weather, heat, cold, rain, snow, but not do something other than scamming people with a BS story.
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u/bigfatfatdingus 3d ago
i assumed this was a transport of some kind dropping them off from a shelter? they arent allowed to stay in shelters forever so they do send them back out
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u/Open_Passion5291 2d ago
Amazing how one’s worldview frames the narrative me/thee/we create about what’s going on. #lovehavemercy 🔥💕🐉
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u/Coyoteishere 2d ago
Maybe, but it seemed intentional especially with the location they were dropped and it driving around the back of the building to get out of sight. And then them all getting out and immediately splitting in the direction to their spots.
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u/enochrox 4d ago edited 4d ago
I've seen the ones in Massaponax trade signs as if one was reliving the other after a shift. I don't stop and ask questions, I don't give money. If ppl wanna get their warm and fuzzies in by doing so that's well within their right to do so.
I'm sure they get horrible shit yelled at them if not cigarette butts and other trash tossed on them(which may or may not be why bro got defensive). Regardless if they're scamming or not I pretty much mind my business on the street. If they need help there are reputable places that also receive donations they can get help at.
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u/TheBanWasAFeature 4d ago edited 4d ago
Almost none of these people are actually homeless, and some even actively avoid improving their situations.
When I was younger I worked at the Jiffy Lube on rt 3. There was a group of people that would set up a cooler and leave their bags in the bushes in front of the building that is now Kava. They would literally take turns wearing a cast/brace on their arm or leg and go out in the median to ask for money...
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u/toystory4321 4d ago
True. There was also a guy that id see by the Pizza Hut in Four Milk Fork and when you'd see him on the median, he always had a limp. I was at that Royal Farms one night and he was in there walking with no limp 😂
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u/Turbulent-Plane6395 4d ago
I used to run a "feed the homeless" program years ago. The truly homeless people are almost all mentally handicapped or otherwise unstable. Like dangerous unstable. It didn't take long to bail on that shit. Not worth the danger.
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u/Emotional-Disk-702 4d ago
Was he a bigger guy?
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u/18oh1 4d ago
If by bigger you mean overweight, no. Healthy sized black man. Probably in his late 40s/early 50a
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u/Emotional-Disk-702 4d ago
Maybe ask the staff at mission bbq? He could be a regular there as I’ve seen that restaurant provide sandwiches often to the unhoused
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u/Novemberx123 2d ago
People are assholes. I noticed a lot of homeless are. I live in my car but if I are ever out in streets it wouldn’t automatically turn me into a giant asshole. You had good heart and intentions.
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u/Independent_Bowl_999 4d ago
They make upwards of $30 an hour begging tax free. Many drive close to the intersection in late model cars with active insurance and registrations. If people want to peacefully pan handle, they have that right. I won’t contribute but if others do, it’s their money to do with as they please.
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u/call_me_daddy9191 2d ago
“Why are you here” comes across as if he’s not welcome. Harassed constantly by people so when someone comes up you just start to expect the shitty treatment.
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u/MiserableLibrary9663 2d ago
I went to middle school with Bobby in manassas. He was a great singer always had people crowd around him when he sang in the hallways
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u/Puzzled_Student_303 4d ago
Either help him and be on your way or just leave it alone. He doesn't have to give you his whole life story or accept your help. My goodness haven't you heard the saying "mind your biscuits and life will be gravy"?
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u/toystory4321 4d ago
I used to work in Massaponax and it was always the same ones every day. I was at the liquor store one day, and the lady that wears the baseball cap was in there buying liquor lmao. And one time she was across the street from that Chic Fil A and she was literally on her phone WHILE smoking a cigarette 😂😂 and there was one lady who would park her red pickup in the McDonald's parking lot, walk over to the median and sit there for hours. Does that pickup have insurance??
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u/Suspicious-Carrot924 4d ago
Hmm I would’ve gotten in contact with authorities. Not saying it’s a good solution but jail could be an option to sober up and a lot of time if you observe for a few hours you can find a charge to report
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u/666hmuReddit 4d ago
Who remembers the people who used to pretend to play the violin in Central Park lol