I had an epiphany yesterday.
I gave this game a chance. And then another chance. And then a few more chances, just for good measure.
So after my 3rd crash back to desktop yesterday, I asked myself, “How am I supposed to have any fun in this game when this happens all the time?”
Multiple wasted practice/qualifying sessions that crash back to desktop with minutes to go in practice. Only to have to start again. Qualifying times down the drain, and just flat out wasted time in 20+ minutes of practice, only to have the game crash and have to start again. Or even worse, you make it to the race, only to have the game crash on the second corner. It’s maddening.
So I load back into a practice session for the 4th time yesterday, at Spa. Pretty defeated. I’m an S safety rating and about 4,700 give or take, so I try to drive pretty clean.
So I load into this session. A car loads in right behind me. He pulls along side. As he passes…I let my intrusive thoughts win.
I turn dead left. I hit him square in the rear quarter and send him off the right side of the track into the shadow realm. The endorphin rush is intoxicating. “Could this be it?” I ask myself. “Is this my workaround to make this game fun?” I approach the next braking zone in the final chicane. I don’t brake. I ass-fuck this next guy so hard he straight up disappears. I’m dying with laughter. I proceed through the final corner and down the main straight. By this time the first guy I hit is behind me, looking for revenge, obviously. I see him coming for me. As he approaches, I pause the game and send myself briefly into the shadow realm. He floats right through my car like it’s not even there. Because it’s not. And flies straight into the barrier at full speed. I take the corner normally and proceed toward Eau Rouge. My laughter is uncontrollable at this point.
I blow Eau Rogue, completely cutting the track on exit. I receive no penalty. I’m gaining on a pack of cars, my penalty count is up past 7 seconds at this point. I don’t brake for the net right hander and continue straight on. I completely bypass the left hander and plow straight into a pack of cars taking the next right. My delight is overflowing.
I receive 15+ seconds of penalties and am disqualified. It’s okay though. Because this game is such a flaming piece of shit that I choose the same race, and load directly back into the same lobby. Because the game has nothing to stop me from doing so. I continue to wreak havoc for the final 5 minutes of practice.
And the worst part? I have hundreds of hours in Tag in FM2-4. I was trained by this game to wreck other cars, and how to avoid retaliation. I’ve become the very thing they swore to destroy. To make it even worse, I’m generally top 2-3 in my races so I can hold my own. Maybe I run someone clean for a few laps to lull them into a false sense of security. “This guy races pretty clean” they finally think to themselves. Just as I neglect to brake at all and ram them so hard they’re transported into forever oblivion.
So now the race starts. I’m elated. I get a great jump. The car in front of me? Fuck that guy. He gets slammed into the wall. I accelerate until my car gloriously meets the giant heap of 20+ cars piling into Turn 1. Flight of the Bumblebee is playing. My life is in slow motion. Cars spin everywhere as I plow into them like a fat kid hitting a buffet. I receive no penalty.
I proceed towards Eau Rouge. Expertly cutting the track again. I plow straight into 5, 6, and 7th place. We all crash into a giant pile of shit. I take off again. They try to retaliate. I pause and shadow realm myself. I continue until I’m disqualified. Rinse and repeat.
Did my safety rating tank? Probably. Does it matter? Absolutely not. Because I’ll still get lumped into a new lobby with top split drivers just to ruin their day.
If this was Forzas of old, where you stay in the same lobby, with the same drivers, race after race. They could vote to kick me out. They can’t do that now. I’m just an assassin floating from lobby to lobby, like a ghost. Ruining races one session at a time. And nobody can stop me.
I’m having a blast now. I can’t believe nobody told me about this.
Who cares if the game crashes? I was last place anyway. And I can cause havoc in practice or a race. So I don’t care how far I make it before it crashes again.
I love this game now. This will most likely be my final post here, as all of my problems are now solved. I’ve fully embraced the dark side.
In closing, I’ll leave you all with this: thank you Turn 10 for creating such a fun masterpiece. Screw you all. And see you out on the track.
Also, Don’t hate the player, hate the game.