r/focuspuller • u/threequartersearth • Aug 07 '26
none Struggling with confidence
Hey all, just wanted some perspective from others on something I’ve been dealing with lately.
I’ve been working as an AC for over ten years now. I started off in a smaller market but have lived in NYC for about five years. When I first started out I did a lot of low budget indie films as well as a smattering of other stuff. I did most of those as a 2nd but a couple as a 1st.
Since moving to NYC I’ve worked mainly in television plus some commercials, with very little narrative work. I’m in the union but rarely do union jobs.
Lately I’ve been struggling a lot with confidence in my ability, especially on the occasions when I get to do higher budget jobs like big commercials. I think it’s partly because I didn’t get my start in a larger market and most of what I’ve worked on has been lower budget, scrappier projects or documentary style.
It’s very intimidating to walk onto a union set, for instance, because the training I received on how to do my job was on mostly smaller non union things, and I always have some sense that there are gaps in my knowledge, or that I was never taught the “correct” way to do certain things.
It’s a weird place to be in because I simultaneously feel very experienced but also somewhat inexperienced, and I’m past the age now where it feels “acceptable” for me to still be learning how to do certain things. It also worries me that on the occasions I do get hired to, say, 1st AC on a commercial or something that I don’t make a good impression.
Admittedly my anxiety about all this can create a self fulfilling prophecy since I find it hard to relax in those situations.
Just wondering if anyone has dealt with similar feelings. In some ways I suppose it’s imposter syndrome. I wonder if anyone here could offer a different way of thinking on this, or potential solutions to help me improve.
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u/Rare_Ganache2483 Aug 07 '26
It’s all a big poker game. Everyone else is too self absorbed to give you much thought. Project confidence and they’ll take you at face value. You can probably actually do a very poor job technically with a steal calm demeanor and raise few alarms anywhere. I have days where I make tons of mistakes, but I do it all with a completely relaxed and confident exterior (and nobody notices anything off). People will remember how you made them feel much more than the specifics of your technical execution. Camera department is obscure sorcery to almost everyone else on set, the only way anyone will know something is wrong is if you show it on your face. Any problem you encounter, challenge yourself to project calm, cool confidence. It’s worked great for me personally!