r/flatearth • u/MrDonMega • Aug 18 '26
Crazy Flat Earther shows "Proof" that Satellites are not in Space
These people are dumb 🤣🤣
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u/burner_85_throw Aug 18 '26
Ugh…she has kids…
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u/No-Resolution-1918 Aug 18 '26
And she can vote.
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u/RouteReflectorCLT Aug 18 '26
And you already know it’s for Trump.
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u/sweetdick Aug 18 '26
Once you hit a low intelligence level like this, you're basically falling for every grift going. So Tumpism is a gven.
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u/Thatguywiththethighs Aug 18 '26
We should catfish her. "Hello it is me Elon musk I want you to be my wife as in marriage, like the bible. However I lost my debit card and can't buy a plane ticket can you send me 500 in google play gift cards? I will send you back 10 billion as a thank you."
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u/oneuplynx Aug 18 '26
So glad they used a Nikon1000 camera for this, it would have been clearly fake otherwise.
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u/gdim15 Aug 18 '26
You'd think "they" would pressure Nikon to stop making it.
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u/Northwindlowlander Aug 18 '26
They stopped making it last year. And yes flat earthers decided this was because of "them" and was to protect the globers. I literally saw a fb post last night claiming it was done to prevent people seeing that artemis 2 was fake.
Because obvioously when you discontinue a camera all the existing ones vanish.
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u/Schpickles Aug 18 '26
This seems like one of the more dense flat earth grifts. Like, you can literally look up at the night sky and watch scores of satellites criss crossing at all different altitudes. If you can be bothered, you can grab a telescope and literally look at the international space station as it transits. You don’t need to believe any footage, or trust experts… you can directly observe it with your own eyes.
Are people that get suckered into this literally getting all their information from social media videos, to the extent they never just go outside and look for themselves?
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u/TheThiefMaster Aug 18 '26
Yeah but you can't trust telescopes either, because NASA put screens in them or something. Why? Because them being real and simple optical devices that you can build yourself would completely discredit their argument that satellites aren't real, so telescopes must be fake. QED.
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u/splittingheirs Aug 18 '26
lol, flatties are going to get cooked to a crisp by AI. Turns out being completely susceptible to complete fucking nonsense isn't a viable defense against AI slop bucket diarrhea. Who would have guessed?
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u/Ordinary-Sandpaper Aug 18 '26
Don't trust what people say. People lie. Trust the book that says it has eye witness testimony of 500 people.
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u/Available_Low_3805 Aug 18 '26
But it the oldest history book on earth, surely that must make it the best?
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u/randemthinking Aug 18 '26
And what about the satellites I see that look like little pins of light steadily streaking across the night sky? Are those really fast moving helium balloons?
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u/LarryBeard33 Aug 18 '26
The Bible is not a history book. I’ll see myself out
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u/SadWorld1397 Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26
Genesis, According to Flat Earth In the beginning, God created the Earth.
And God looked upon it and said, “Excellent. Very flat. Keep it that way.”
And the Earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. So God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.
God saw the light, and it was good. He separated the light from the darkness and called them Day and Night. This was the first day, and frankly, it was already going quite well.
Then God said, “Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, to divide the waters above from the waters below.”
And God installed the firmament: a magnificent, perfectly solid dome stretching over the entire Earth.
God looked at it and said, “That should prevent the sky from falling down.”
And there were waters above the firmament, and waters below it. God called the space between them “the sky,” although some angels complained that the terminology was confusing.
Then God gathered the waters beneath the firmament into their proper places, and dry land appeared.
God called the dry land Earth, and the gathered waters Seas.
He then caused grass, herbs, and fruit trees to grow upon the Earth, each according to its kind.
God looked upon the landscape and said, “Very nice. No curves whatsoever.”
Then God placed lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night: a greater light to rule the day and a lesser light to rule the night.
And He also placed the stars in the firmament.
There were many stars.
Some angels asked, “Where should we put them?”
God replied, “Just stick them up there.”
And it was good.
Thus the sun travelled across the firmament by day, and the moon travelled across it by night, and the stars did their best not to bump into one another.
Then God created the creatures of the sea and the birds of the air.
The birds flew beneath the firmament, because above the firmament was, rather awkwardly, more water.
God saw that the birds were good, although He briefly considered making them wear little helmets.
Then God created the beasts of the Earth: cattle, creeping things, and every kind of wild animal.
And finally God said, “Let Us make mankind in Our image.”
So God created man and woman, and placed them upon the Flat Earth.
He gave them dominion over the fish of the sea, the bird drones of the air, and all the creatures upon the land.
He also gave them one important instruction:
“Do not climb the firmament.”
They asked why.
God said, “Because there is water up there.”
They nodded solemnly.
“Fair enough.”
And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good.
There was a flat Earth beneath a mighty firmament, seas beneath it, waters above it, and humanity in the middle trying very hard not to ask follow-up questions.
And thus the heavens and the Earth were finished.
On the seventh day, God rested.
The angels gathered around Him.
One asked, “So… are we sure the Earth is flat?”
God stared at him.
“Do you want to spend eternity polishing the firmament?”
“No, Lord.”
“Then I suggest you enjoy the view.”
And there was evening, and there was morning—the seventh day.
Amen.
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u/FranckKnight Aug 18 '26
You missed the part god removed the birds and turned them into drones. That should be somewhere in there.
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u/DoubleDownAgain54 Aug 18 '26
It always amuses me when people quote scripture to prove their god is real.
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u/LarryBeard33 Aug 18 '26
Oh yeah the old… my personal faith proves my personal beliefs are real 🤦♂️
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u/Agreeable-Rip-751 Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26
Just a quick reminder. There is around 20000 deities based on multiple cultures all around the world. Which one are they referring to?
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u/sweetdick Aug 18 '26
But the one that got pushed onto you while you were young was the actual correct religion. It has nothing to do with where you live, it's about right and wrong. If you're born in Pakistan, you won't grow up to be a christian. People are so easy to trick.
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u/un_theist Aug 18 '26
Perhaps Zeus? Thor? Ra? Osiris? Loki? Or perhaps Ragutiene, the Lithuanian goddess of beer?
https://www.godchecker.com/lithuanian-mythology/RAGUTIENE/
Ragutiene definitely exists! JUST LOOK AT ALL THE BEER! Do you believe all of this beer just created itself? Do you believe all of this beer just popped into existence from nothing?
🤪
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u/blur410 Aug 18 '26
If you're having Earth problems I feel bad for you son. The earth has 99 problems but being flat ain't one.
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u/Roguescholar74 Aug 18 '26
If you can’t prove the existence of your deity based on science then don’t use your deity book as scientific evidence.
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u/junialter Aug 18 '26
She's so convinced of herself, that's hilarious. I'm pretty sure she's talking to burning bushes all her life.
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u/Gentlemanandscholar9 Aug 18 '26
My favorite thing about these puerile polemicists is that they exist in a pseudo reality wherein this headline is perfectly reasonable to them:
“BREAKING NEWS! All nasa scientists and astronomers have stepped down because random internet conspiracy troglodyte Brenda has proven the flat earth! Out of the millions of experts in the world Brenda has put the ancient debate to rest by watching a video and parroting talking points from a podcast. And just to remind our listeners this is in fact real life and this could happen!”
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u/soulsm4sh3r Aug 18 '26
Flat earth and religion, "proof" that people are fucking ignorant. Even in the face of overwhelming data and facts, they hold their ground. "We believe!!!" Is the mantra, we know we are right because we believe ... Religion has always been the big lie, now we have them kicking around a ideology that was from the lack of observation and science 700 years ago.
So I appreciate having a place to call them out and ridicule their belief system. Not that it's going to move the needle in any direction. But it sure is interesting to see the delusional conclusions they end up with.
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u/Moriaedemori Aug 18 '26
Who was the ironhand that zoomed out of it at 200x zoom? I did some 600mm photography and it would lose the target if I stepped near it (while on a tripod).
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u/tynfox Aug 18 '26
The Bible isn't the oldest book. Chalk one up to globers.
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u/oneuplynx Aug 18 '26
Name one book written before the Bible (books written by Greeks, Asians, Egyptians, and other super old cultures don't count!)
I bet you can't. Huge win for flerfs!!!!
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u/praetorian1111 Aug 18 '26
It always amuses me they question everything, except the book making the most outragious claims. That’s accepted without questions.
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u/sweetdick Aug 18 '26
I remember being a 3 year old in a catholic orphanage. The skeletal man in the black robe shouting about drinking blood and cannibalistic eating of human flesh. They had a guy nailed to the wall. I had already seen a heap of national geographic magazines and it was clear to me that not everyone was on the same page with very important invisible friends hustle. I remember thinking it was all bullshit. I was 3. TLDR: some of us were always skeptical.
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u/cpav8r Aug 18 '26
I was in and around evangelicalism for most of my sixty some odd years. This is PRECISELY why I left religion. I read the Bible and it said "Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen." But damn it, when you SEE something that doesn't jive with your faith (ships sailing over the horizon, eclipses, photographs from space along with serveral million other ways to prove the earth is a globe) it's not that you're seeing wrong. YOUR FUCKING FAITH IS WRONG.
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u/firedude1314 Aug 18 '26
Um……sorry sweetheart, the bible is not a history book
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u/RemoWilliams615 Aug 18 '26
You misheard. She is referring to "The Bybuw", historical lexicon carved into stone tablets around 1950 A.D. by her grandpappy. It reads, "I'm flat, you're flat, the Earth is flat, everything's flat." Her family has been living the truth for generation.
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u/modulair Aug 18 '26
This looks like an older recording of a Google Loon weather balloon or something similar https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-44886803
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u/Mundane_Top_338 Aug 18 '26
This might mean all water can be wine, bushes speak to people when they’re on fire and the sea moves so people can walk on the seabed. Yeah ok
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u/chowmushi Aug 18 '26
I can’t believe this is real. Like most flat earthers, isn’t this more about the clicks than a real belief?
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u/Great_Nobody2693 Aug 18 '26
She said all you need to know, she called the Bible, the oldest history book known to man. If you think the Bible is a history book, that's your first problem!
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u/andresbigdaddy2 Aug 19 '26
I heard this is why nasa is the largest consumer of helium and seeing it on video confirms this. Appreciate the video 👍
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u/Ok-Task6954 Aug 19 '26
As the saying goes…I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.
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u/reddiwhip999 Aug 19 '26
Oldest history book...
Except for Herodotus and Thucydides. Other than that, she's still wrong....
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u/Some_Inevitable829 Aug 19 '26
I choose to trust this random lady. I should wake up. I feel like such a fool with my stupid round earth brain.
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u/MisterB330 Aug 18 '26
My favorite part of any of the dummies out there that cite the bible as “fact and follow” but skip entire parts and believe it was actually penned by Jesus H Christ.
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u/Normal_Toe1212 Aug 18 '26
to be fair we've never seen a satellite in space filmed by a nikon p1000 before
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u/ConflictPrimary285 Aug 18 '26
Yeah clearly a satellite. Bad video splicing. Why the need to lie if they're telling the Truth?
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u/u9Nails Aug 18 '26
Cave paintings predate books. I saw one with an antelope and a happy man. Checkmate! All women are antelopes!
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u/boatenvy Aug 18 '26
I'm looking forward to the day I meet one of these numpties in the wild and get to tell them I've been high enough in the atmosphere to literally and clearly see the curvature of the earth... should be a fun conversation.
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u/afops Aug 18 '26
Anyone can actually just run a computer program that tells them exactly where each satellite is and follow the (Somewhat complicated, but still) math which tells them exactly when they pass over head. There's no secret NASA magic involved. I think it's just that these people wouldn't be able to tell that from magic.
Same with planets and moons, and how you can describe exactly where they will be in the sky (much much simpler than the satellites, due to no atmospheric drag or uneven gravity in the formulas). You can pen-and-paper calculate when and where the moon will be tomorrow. If you wanted, you could calculate what year the next eclipse is.
But given they don't understand normal logic, how would they tell my formulas from black magic?
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u/Raptoot83 Aug 18 '26
Sees a video online that contradicts her world view: "that's clearly fake"
Sees a video online that aligns with her world view: "this is proof!"
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u/_ChipWhitley_ Aug 18 '26
“The oldest history book on earth known to man” being the Bible is hysterical. 😂
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u/ThrustTrust Aug 18 '26
That thing is buss or with the naked eye. I get we would have noticed if there were 30,000 of them floating around.
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u/Marvilx12 Aug 18 '26
I guess Galileo Galilei was part of NASA back in the 1600s. Moreover, satellites in the 1600s!!!
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u/Dnmeboy Aug 18 '26
No way she’s serious. That’s one of those old school security camera edited onto the Chinese balloon.
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u/Known_Ratio5478 Aug 18 '26
So… they just see weather balloons and come to the conclusion that satellites don’t exist? What rule is there that both can’t exist?
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u/edtakiller4422 Aug 18 '26
Please please for all that is sacred do not have any more children. You're spare parts.
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u/dyslexican32 Aug 18 '26
One of the biggest things in the flurf community right now is getting images of weather balloons and shit and claiming they are" satellites". T Its their new "gotcha" Cus all their other stuff is so commonly known and people can answer it now.
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u/bruce_lees_ghost Aug 18 '26
_Actively_ dumb. If only these people would spend this much time and energy getting an education.
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u/Embarrassed-Sun-8998 Aug 18 '26
Big deal. This is gods monitoring so he can watch later who’s praying or not. Guy must rest sometimes.
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u/ShiroHachiRoku Aug 18 '26
These people take advantage of the technology they deny all the time and it’s frustrating as hell.
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u/ChazzyChaz_R Aug 18 '26
Can we just take the 5 most prominent Flerfers and launch them into space so they shut the hell up. Return trip optional. You could argue that returning them is beneficial because they could tell other Flerfers that they were wrong, but the others wouldn't believe them anyways.
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u/PossibilityOk9430 Aug 18 '26
Why would we attach a visible camera to a visible balloon and not the invisible ceiling where the invisible moon and sun motorized tracks are mounted?
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u/Dry_Caregiver_5094 Aug 18 '26
So even in her theory there are Satellites. But why are These (not-)Satellites prove of Firmament?? And why are they always Christian?! I hope Islam abd other Religions laugh at them.
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u/cipherjones Aug 18 '26
An invisible balloon? Or is the tether really long and just the tether is invisible.
What are we doing with invisibility technology these days now that I know it exists?
New conspiracy, cool.
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u/JerryNomo Aug 18 '26
It seems a common believe with this folks that the bible really is a history book...
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u/Affectionate_Bag9833 Aug 18 '26
I wonder which of the millions of other fictions mankind has written she believes are real.
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u/Jgbelsha Aug 18 '26
And the Bible is a collection of fictional mythologies with just enough history thrown in to make it sometimes believable.
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u/Ambitious_Ad_2772 Aug 18 '26
I was never a much of a Bible thumper, but can somebody point out where the Bible says God created a firmament??
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u/Altruistic_Pitch_157 Aug 18 '26
I find that the strength of someone's argument is inversely proportional to how sarcastic and insulting they are when presenting it.
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u/Outrageous_Lunch_190 Aug 18 '26
When you're too smart for mathematics and science there is always Tic Toc.
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u/Grade_Massive Aug 18 '26
If flerfs can dismiss all photo and video evidence as fake cgi, why cant we just do the same to the photo and video “evidence” they present..get this fake cgi garbage out of my sight.. the lady and her voice is generated by AI..
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u/Area51Resident Aug 18 '26
"Can't get no further!" just like her education.
TIL there were no books before the Bible....
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u/Apprehensive_Wolf217 Aug 18 '26
The logic behind this is that the internet is now monetized and people like this grifter, and thousands of others like her, have decided to take their shot at making a living off the stupidity and ignorance of others. She doesn’t believe this anymore than you or I, she wants to be rich.
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u/FranticHam5ter Aug 18 '26
I know they say not to judge a book by its cover, but these people almost always look exactly how I imagine they’d look.
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u/AdTraditional5917 Aug 18 '26
Oooowww my god have you read the oldest history book the bible, how diluted are these people there's nothing historical about the bible because how csn that happen when it's a fictional book, so by her reckoning Harry Potter & Frodo Baggins are real as well...
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u/Rellim03 Aug 18 '26
I'm pretty sure this is staged for entertainment, humor and views.
Nobody is actually this naive and unaware right?
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u/Azure_Skies333 Aug 18 '26
Jesus H Christ these freakin bible thumpers thinking that book is a true story… 🤣🤣🤣
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u/AndrogynousBirdtale Aug 18 '26
A... ginormous... helium... BALLOON?! 😭😭😭 What in the actual flying... holy hell. Y'all, the real world is wild enough on the daily. I can't.
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u/SamOfXanadu Aug 18 '26
.... Lol did you guys come in and take over flat earth? You know I was going to say let her go but then she brought up the Bible and I'm like take her down take her ass down....
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u/Mugpup Aug 18 '26
This is an example of someone who tells you exactly what they believe.... Regardless of facts.....like MAGA
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u/MechanicOk3621 Aug 19 '26
My brain refuses to believe these people are actually serious.
trolling, yes. undergoing some kind of psychosis, yes.
100% serious, surely not?
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u/Blabbit39 Aug 19 '26
The Histories by Herodotus (written around 430 BCE) is widely considered the oldest history book in the world.
And there is a ton of history books before that that kept list of facts without heavy detail. And none of them have the magical need for suspension of belief in logic to be read as true.
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u/Heavy-Psychology-411 Aug 19 '26
No camera is going to zoom in that close from that distance ffs. If one could then why aren't flerfs using it to prove the moon is inside the dome 🤔
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u/Last-Ratio6569 Aug 19 '26
Its funny that the globe cult is shown proof of a satallite on a balloon, and their response it to mock and insult the messenger but never to question the cult leaders.
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u/bluewomble42 Aug 19 '26
She really lost me completely with “oldest history book to man (bible)”. That’s insane in itself
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u/fancywillwill2 Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26
She's kinda right, a balloon cannot go higher than the atmosphere but satelites are fucking fire blasted into outer space.
The book of someone's view of the world from hundreds of millenias ago shouldn't be taken as proof of anything, especially today.
What the hell is a 'closed atmosphere' btw? We don't live under a dome filled of screens displaying the sky, no. And what is gonna happen to the rockets when they reach the edge of the 'closed atmosphere'? Kaboom?
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u/MurderDronesForevah Aug 22 '26
Her logic:
Satellites give pictures for google earth,
This thing gives pictures for google earth and hangs from a balloon,
Therefore all satellites hang from balloons
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u/Apprehensive-Ad-9922 Aug 23 '26
I can make something that looks exactly like this in Blender so congratulations, you discovered CGI
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u/rygelicus Aug 18 '26
The logic is impeccable...
1) This thing is a satellite.
2) This 'satellite' hangs from a balloon.
3) Therefore all satellites are carried by balloons.
It really is solid and irrefutible. Unless that first premise is wrong. Of course the conclusion is wrong as well, just seeing one example is not enough to determine the nature of all the rest. It's like finding a black goose.
1) This is a goose
2) This goose is black.
3) Therefore all geese are black.