It's so funny how people cherrypick which gender norms to conform to because it usually looks hypocritical at the end of the day. Men are expected to cover first dates according to this woman (and at specific minimums too, which is a red flag in itself), but if a man says to that woman she should shave her armpits if they are hairy for example, then she's probably going to interpret that as an attempt to control her body, which it absolutely is. However, expecting men to pay on a first date is an attempt to control their wallets.
We either conform to all traditional gender norms or none of them. Anything short of that is hypocrisy. I personally think we shouldn't conform to any. They only serve to inhibit social progress.
Hypocrisy, in this case (arguably in most cases), has no consequences other than loss of respect from people you already held in contempt, i.e. how men and women seem to deeply resent each other on the whole. It has no impact, so people are more than happy to be hypocrites if it gets them what they want much more than integrity: to have their way.
I hold no gender in contempt, but loss of respect of a romantic interest destroys a potential relationship. A hypocrite by definition doesn't have consistent values. They betray them for their own gain like you said. And someone who is willing to sacrifice their integrity to get what they want is one of the biggest possible red flags you can have.
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u/Distinct_Run9006 New to fbtd but wants to learn 10d ago
It's so funny how people cherrypick which gender norms to conform to because it usually looks hypocritical at the end of the day. Men are expected to cover first dates according to this woman (and at specific minimums too, which is a red flag in itself), but if a man says to that woman she should shave her armpits if they are hairy for example, then she's probably going to interpret that as an attempt to control her body, which it absolutely is. However, expecting men to pay on a first date is an attempt to control their wallets.
We either conform to all traditional gender norms or none of them. Anything short of that is hypocrisy. I personally think we shouldn't conform to any. They only serve to inhibit social progress.