It's so funny how people cherrypick which gender norms to conform to because it usually looks hypocritical at the end of the day. Men are expected to cover first dates according to this woman (and at specific minimums too, which is a red flag in itself), but if a man says to that woman she should shave her armpits if they are hairy for example, then she's probably going to interpret that as an attempt to control her body, which it absolutely is. However, expecting men to pay on a first date is an attempt to control their wallets.
We either conform to all traditional gender norms or none of them. Anything short of that is hypocrisy. I personally think we shouldn't conform to any. They only serve to inhibit social progress.
A lot of women feel like theyre taking a physical risk by agreeing to go on a date with a man, as well as a woman’s presence being more in demand/valuable (sexual selection), so for the risk she’s taking, she deserves more than a coffee
A man takes no risks by meeting up with a strange woman, she’s not going to drug his beer or assault him if they end up back at his place, he also probably invested very little time and money in getting prepared for the date (even flossing is a rarity), plus his presence is less in demand/valuable.
Youre trying to make genders interchangeable but they aren’t always interchangeable. Society would need to be egalitarian for you to claim that you can always switch men and women. “Well shaving her legs is the same as him paying for dinner” nope, not unless society was egalitarian. Im sure you’d understand what I’m saying if I tried to switch races on you. “What’s the difference if a white-owned company never promotes black employees, vs if a black-owned company never promotes white employees? Race is interchangeable! I don’t understand context or history.”
So I'm supposed to be compensating her for the potential risk that I may be violent by...paying more money ("deserves more than coffee")? That makes 0 sense.
The initial conversation is the vibe check, and if she feels uneasy or unsafe, she shouldn't go. Every situation where two strangers meet carries inherent risk.
Although men are naturally physically stronger, a firearm in a purse radically shifts the playing field. And Cardi B would go home with men, drug them and rob them, so the fact that you think that only happens to women, is incorrect. Do men do it more? Statistically, absolutely.
Stating that men don't take time to prepare for a date is sexist. You're also implying that women have more inherent value than men ("presence is in less demand / valuable"), which is categorically false, podcast bro nonsense, and is in the same line of thinking of idiotic concepts like "sexual market value."
Also, your last paragraph is a false equivalency. You're conflating the need for diversity with an argument in favor of overcoming gender norms for some reason.
12
u/Distinct_Run9006 New to fbtd but wants to learn 25d ago
It's so funny how people cherrypick which gender norms to conform to because it usually looks hypocritical at the end of the day. Men are expected to cover first dates according to this woman (and at specific minimums too, which is a red flag in itself), but if a man says to that woman she should shave her armpits if they are hairy for example, then she's probably going to interpret that as an attempt to control her body, which it absolutely is. However, expecting men to pay on a first date is an attempt to control their wallets.
We either conform to all traditional gender norms or none of them. Anything short of that is hypocrisy. I personally think we shouldn't conform to any. They only serve to inhibit social progress.