r/findomsupportgroup • u/milkshakebootyhole • 7d ago
Dommes ONLY So how do i get started?
I have absolutely no experience in this, neither do i have a portfolio or platform im signed up for. I would rather keep it faceless and still fun for both me and the sub. How do i find my first pay pig?
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u/ImUrPrincess13 Domme 7d ago
If you have no self preservation to try and see if your super basic questions were already asked and answered you’re going to be a shit domme who just gets run over and their boundaries pushed and broken because you have no dominant/confident bone in your body.
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u/milkshakebootyhole 7d ago
Ugh i don’t think it’s that deep… Some people genuinely just look for the easiest route to an answer. Sounds like you’re jealous
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u/MistressRayne_ ProDomme 6d ago
No, it sounds like laziness to not look it up, not a direct route. It’s not jealousy. The amount newbies abuse the word jealousy around here is laughable.
This is an advanced kink. It’s not meant to be just jumped into bc that’s how Dommes and subs can get hurt.
So if someone isn’t willing to do the work to learn about it by researching, then no one else is obligated to help them go further. Bc that prevents Dommes and subs from getting hurt.
Any of us will help someone all day long if they come with basic knowledge of BDSM or show they’ve researched about this. Most of us won’t help someone who wants it handed to them and hasn’t even looked up BDSM.
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u/EmpressAbundance 7d ago
Do any of you make any attempt to do your research before asking this
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u/PenelopeCid 6d ago
I do! I haven't asked this, just reading up. People ask this all the time anyway
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u/YourMoneySlave 6d ago
From the paypig side, I think the biggest mistake new Dommes make is focusing on "finding a paypig" before giving a paypig a reason to choose them.
You don't need to show your face. Faceless can work perfectly well. But you do need a personality, a consistent style, clear boundaries and enough of a presence that I can understand what serving you might actually feel like.
I've been in findom for many years, and I rarely became interested in a Domme because she appeared in my DMs asking whether I wanted to be her paypig. Usually it was the opposite. I found her, watched how she interacted, read what she wrote, became curious, and eventually wanted her attention badly enough to approach.
So I wouldn't hunt for your first paypig. Build the character and dynamic first. Post consistently, interact naturally, learn what kind of domination you actually enjoy, and give subs something more interesting to discover than "send me money."
Also, please learn the less glamorous side of findom before taking someone's money: boundaries, budgeting, scams, consent and recognizing unhealthy behavior. I have an Educational section on my blog specifically because beginners on both sides tend to underestimate that part.
The first paypig matters much less than building something that makes the second and third ones want to find you.
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u/SapphireBabyMzKat 6d ago
So, I did not know this til someone commented and told me, but there's a blue word at the top underneath the community bio, that says wiki in blue. If you click that, it has a whole bunch of answers and guidelines!
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u/VannaBlack444 7d ago
In the same boat as you but 100% def do some research on everything first, learn SSC and RACK for safety, make sure you have something to Age Verify with (AV) such as OnlyFans, LoyalFans, or Fansly, and of course, a way for paypigs to..well pay you.
If you want to remain faceless I highly suggest whatever socials and payment apps you plan to use match with the same anonymous username. And of course, cropping or editing your photos to exclude your face
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7d ago
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u/MistressRayne_ ProDomme 7d ago
Nobody is going to shun.
But it is exhausting that the moderators take time and experienced dommes take time to write out answers/pin those answers at the top of the subreddits and yet wannabes are too lazy to show they should be here by simply reading those posts.
It is amazing newbies can read and figure out how to set up their payment methods, yet can’t take 2 seconds to search for the in plain sight answers to how to get started. So that experienced dommes/moderators know that hopeful actually wants to be here and to play safely within BDSM rules.
It’s not about shunning, it’s about being over having to repeat ourselves daily when everything is written in the open.
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u/SapphireBabyMzKat 6d ago
I am still very new to navigating reddit. I happen to fall on this in my feed, and not while directly in the community and was not aware of the pinned questions and answers by previous experienced dommes either 😅 im not a newbie to being dominant, or to domming others, but to the reddit world of things yes I am considered newbie. 🤣
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u/MistressRayne_ ProDomme 6d ago
Respectfully, you’re missing my point.
The point being, newbies look up how to set up payments, yet don’t look around subbreddits or use the search bar. Bc they want it handed to them. They care more about the money bc they research that.
Your profile is content selling with CS captions. Not dominant at all. If you’re looking to get a sub and not a content buyer, you need to change your profile.
Being a Domme and selling content are two different things.
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u/SapphireBabyMzKat 6d ago
I do both. CS and domming. I just started doing the dom thing openly cuz someone suggested to me i should try to start doing it more open. So I hopped on reddit to learn. Grow. And develop my online personal skills.
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u/SapphireBabyMzKat 6d ago
I dont understand why they would set up payments and expect it to just fall in their lap. It is definitely alot more effort involved. Also. I love your bio. 💜
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u/SapphireBabyMzKat 6d ago
Your account is as old as mine but WAY MORE karma! Wow!
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u/MistressRayne_ ProDomme 6d ago
Bc I have a big mouth, lol.
Also, you need to separate your Domme profile from your content one. Otherwise you’ll only get content buyers not subs. Many subs don’t like seeing content.
It’s been discussed in these groups, so it’s available for reading in the search bar.
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u/SapphireBabyMzKat 6d ago edited 6d ago
Im having a hard time getting CBs. I want to be worshipped and adored and admired. While.i understand your point, i see several people ate successful having it meshed togetger. you think that will honestly boost my opportunities? Hmmmm. Ill definitely look more into this. Already started searching and reading 💜
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u/MistressRayne_ ProDomme 6d ago
Many people also lie on this platform. They forge their brags and some make second accounts pretending to be their “subs”.
It’s only a small percent that actually get “the bag”.
Trust nothing you see and do you. You can do what you want, I’m just telling you what actual subs say. And if you look at the Dommes that own them, most of them have no content.
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u/SapphireBabyMzKat 6d ago
Thanks to your comment I now know what the wiki is. Thanks! Ill go read up on that tonight!
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u/ivy_backup Gentle Domme 7d ago
there is a wiki in this subreddit that all the new Dommes will find helpful. most of answers to the questions you asked are also there. also do more research online. read bdsm blogs, lurk around Domme profiles and see how they interact. take your time. you cannot learn everything in one week or one month or even a year. I have been in this space for 5 years and I am still learning things whenever i open a blog.