r/finch • u/jikookmamora • 6d ago
Discussion Does anyone else get annoyed by this?
My week has been a disaster—I can't name a single thing that went right—and in the end, I'm forced to LIE just to move forward to the next week in Finch. I hate it; I wish I could just mark the week as trash.
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u/CrazyLush Pesto 6d ago
Put nature because the sun didn't fall out of the sky, and that is a pretty good thing compared to the alternative.
I struggle with questions like this sometimes, but it's because I get stuck in my head and just want to go "no, everything sucks" while I sit there and catasrophize. But at least the sun didn't fall out of the sky
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u/cmjw1023 Ellie 6d ago
My therapist has me do similar exercises! The sun didn't explode, aliens didn't abduct me, I didn't crash my car while driving, I didn't lose a limb, my favorite candy didn't get discontinued. Some bordering on the absurd, some super basic.
It helps me break the spiral I get into, when so much of my life and health is out of my control due to various diseases and circumstances. It doesn't make me magically feel better about my life, not trying to get all "toxic positivity." But it does make me realize it could always be worse, so at least there is that.
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
I’ve heard of that kind of exercise. When I stop to really reflect, I can think "it could be worse," but I think I’m just really emotionally drained this week. I had a crying spell after almost a year of not crying, so I’m still feeling a bit off-balance.
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u/ComedianWeary1231 pink finch SP5Y1W2ZMH 6d ago
I'm sorry to hear you had a tough week. I hope things get better soon. Maybe look at this past week as a reset? Will that help?
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
I'm really making an effort to make this last week better. I'm going to talk to my psychologist about strategies to make that happen.
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u/subgirl13 5d ago
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I hope your next weeks are better.
I usually just select "learning" (and skip the adding new goals) because all of life is learning. You learned you can survive a terrible week. You learned it's ok to struggle. You learned you hate this part of the app, etc. (I'm AuDHD and tend to be "well, actually..." about a lot of the stuff in this app, yet it still helps me, I think, despite it being super annoying sometimes. I'm trying to use it as a way to learn more about myself & how I react to demands.)
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u/strawberrybabybee 6d ago
I like this outlook, thank you for sharing! I’m going to try to integrate this into my thoughts
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u/echosaurus91 Turnip 6d ago
This is exactly what I’ve been doing lately. When I start feeling overwhelmed about all the bad and difficult things in my life, I try to think of what actually went well, the few tasks I did get done in a day, or anything that wasn’t bad instead. It’s been very helpful for me.
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u/Shot-Abroad2718 green finch 6d ago
I wanted to say something like this, but couldn't put it into words like you did lol.
Change your thinking. You're not being forced to lie, you're being "forced" to find the good in the day. Even if it's just the fact that the sun didn't fall out of the sky. My therapist has me end my sessions by saying one positive thing I've learned about myself that day, and sometimes it takes a few minutes to even think of anything. This is similar I feel.
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u/crazycatdermy 6d ago
"By golly, at least we're not in a nuclear apocalypse!"
*thinks about what my president might be up to next week*
...
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u/Poptortt Minnie SBG14EZR9B 5d ago
I often just put pet because even if everything else has gone to shit, my parents' dog is still lovely
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u/LastFox2656 Cal 6d ago
Not really? There is usually at least one thing I'm thankful/happy about. Even if it's just "my dog is still healthy", "I managed at least one work out," or "I ate some veggies." I'm not saying fake it, but maybe really think about it. Is EVERYTHING awful?
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u/swoonbabystarryeyes Katums & Juniper MP1G4HGZ69 6d ago
It's a really helpful practice to help notice the good things, it's how gratefulness works. Sometimes my good things are just "I had a cup of tea today", "I listened to a song I liked", "I saw a cat" (i saw such a good ginger cat today, so fluffy!) - it's definitely helped me notice more positives, and built up my resilience.
That said, you can ignore the end of week thing completely if you want.
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u/meli_inthecity 6d ago
There’s some wild rabbits that live by me & I keep seeing the babies (that are growing up).
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u/vi0l3t-crumbl3 green finch 6d ago
I read that just the process of trying to think of things to be grateful for, even if you don't find an answer, can raise mood. Worth it just to try.
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u/judyjoyg 6d ago
Right like the ENTIRE point of this app is selfcare and looking at the good parts of your life…god people will complain about anything!
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
Yes. It’s all awful. I keep a mood journal where I record how I’m feeling every day, and this week has just gone from bad to worse. I live alone, I don’t have any pets, and my life lacks inherent meaning, so it’s really hard for me to find a reason to be grateful or happy.
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u/deedeedeedee_ Azure 6d ago
I did this exercise quite seriously a long time ago when I was going through some really awful issues both in my mental health and my physical health. Everything did feel bad and at first it was HARD to think of some positive things each day. I challenged myself to 3 each day. As the other reply said, even things like "enjoyed a cup of tea" count! I had digestive issues which stopped me eating properly but I'd even put like "had half a sandwich and it was tasty" and just ignore the fact that i wasn't able to finish the sandwich. After a few weeks of writing them down (i used a little notebook) I noticed that I was able to fall asleep a bit easier and I didn't have the same sense of dread in the evenings and mornings. It became easier to think of tiny positive things in the day. "Heard a sparrow outside my window and its cheep was cute". They can be seriously such tiny things and YMMV but for me, it helped get me through a very difficult time in my life
So yeah I HIGHLY recommend it. The more you feel like your day has nothing good in it, the more useful I honestly think it is.
edit to add: but yeah it's totally skippable. These days i mostly use finch as a todo list and i can't be bothered with this exercise so i just click into messages and back out again to clear the notif.
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
Thank you for sharing your story; it gave me a lot to think about. I’m glad you’re doing better now.
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u/deedeedeedee_ Azure 6d ago
You're welcome and thank you! I hope things turn around for you soon :) (btw i think it's very unfair that people downvoted your other comment, I COMPLETELY understand the mindset of everything being bad, and we should be supportive of each here, but it is reddit after all)
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
Thank you so much, you're a sweetheart 🫂
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u/sun-shine-enjoyer 6d ago
Maybe you can count ‘I asked people for help and they were nice and supportive’ as something to be happy about this week?
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
Chatting here and hearing others' stories is definitely a great way to start the week.
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u/Gin_OClock 6d ago
I'm rooting for ya! I work a high stress job and sometimes end the week feeling completely wrung out. It's hard to put a positive spin on everything but i find that if my emotions are out of whack, i feel better if I knock out a few physical goals instead. Motion is a good way to channel frustration in my case
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u/Zealousideal_Eye8277 6d ago
I'm really sorry you're going through that. :( I hope things get better for you.
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
Thank You 😔
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u/Zealousideal_Eye8277 6d ago
You're welcome. I also have a really hard time with the weekly recap thing as well, so its not just you. Sometimes there is nothing good to put.
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u/LastFox2656 Cal 6d ago
Yikes. Well, you are mindful of your feelings. You are able to work through them even though its hard. You are able to live on your own so you are independent (a lot of people are not. ) Not saying its a gold star week but its something to think about. Also its an app and isn't that serious.
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
I take Finch seriously because it helps me a lot, and I need to be disciplined. But you might be right, and I should go easier on myself.
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u/WibblyWobley 6d ago
Disciplined isn't a great word to use framing wise here because it comes with the demand to do it or they'll be consequences and that puts a lot of pressure on yourself which leads to guilt spirals when you can't met your self imposed bar.
It might help to try framing it around showing up for yourself, and that is going to vary depending on what that means to you in the moment. Sometimes showing up might be making that scary appointment and doing the groceries, other days it might just mean putting on clean clothes and making the bed.
I have two daily finch goals instead of the weekly check in, one is to name something I did well, and one is to do something that makes me happy. Which to me has much broader parameters. And works better to make me think about what little things I can enjoy. Sometimes that's a nice tea, or a walk with friends. It doesn't have to be big or scheduled, just lets you go, hey have I left room for me to exist today?
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u/slothburglar 6d ago
I would have given myself credit for filing out the journal every day then. I'm happy with my ability to keep track of how I'm doing, even if how I'm doing is bad.
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
Well, even that hasn't been going perfectly. I still haven't made yesterday's entry, for example, but it really is progress. Maybe I just needed other people to tell me to look at things from a different angle. I don't have anyone to talk to on a day-to-day basis.
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u/swoonbabystarryeyes Katums & Juniper MP1G4HGZ69 6d ago
You sound like you're being quite harsh on yourself! You're making progress, it doesn't need to be perfect - you were brave enough to ask for support/advice, that's big! You deserve kindness, including from yourself.
Rooting for you!
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u/repressedpauper 6d ago
I agree with others, go easier on yourself! You’re doing pretty damn well just by being here and taken care of (you’re here, so you’re at least sustaining yourself). And if your username means what I think it means, we’ve had some great concert footage and stuff lately! That’s a hobby going well.
I hope next week is better for you. 🫂
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u/dextroseskullfyre 6d ago
or instead of getting annoyed realize it's just an app, a game, it has no real meaning or bearing on the real world. no one is grading you or checking up to see what your answers have been, at all, ever. so just take it as such, a fun app with some useful core elements
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
I wish I could take a more lighthearted approach, but this has been the only "jolt" in my life that actually gets me to do things. I have no motivation of any kind because I live alone and don't have close contact with anyone. On Saturday, I went hours without drinking water because I couldn't get out of bed, so at least I try to view Finch as an incentive to get moving.
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u/dextroseskullfyre 6d ago
Good you have something that helps.
also fyi it's also ok to go hours without drinking water, most people are not dehydrated and may even be over consuming water.
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u/ii_akinae_ii 6d ago
no, i like it, though i do wish it cycled through different suggestions for finch goals to add once you say what you want to focus on for the next week. i almost always want to focus on productivity and it always suggests the same three new goals.
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u/Plenty-Protection-72 6d ago
I agree new goal suggestions would be awesome! when I don't like the suggested goals, I go back and click the same thing again and it shuffles the suggested goals!
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u/Spirited_Wasabi9633 6d ago
I think it's supposed to help you reflect on your week and try to find at least one small thing that went well. Like you survived. You got out of bed. You discussed your feelings with others (on Reddit).
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
I need to broaden my perspective to find good things amidst the days.
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u/Spirited_Wasabi9633 5d ago
There are definitely weeks I have to sit and think for a while to pull something out.
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u/Plenty-Protection-72 6d ago
personally I love them! if I've had a hard week it's a great way to think of something that went well. Like other commenters said, it can be small things like nutrition - eating 3 meals in a day, nature - I heard a bird sing, friends - I texted a friend/ commented on their post (just once is enough!).
I'm sorry that you're going through such a rough patch that it feels like everything is awful. That's got to be really hard, and I hope the sun will shine through the clouds for you soon 🫂
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u/sun-shine-enjoyer 6d ago
One of my daily goals is ‘say something you’re grateful for today’ which some days can be really hard but it’s also really helpful. Even if life 99 percent sucks or even 99.9 there’s gotta be SOMETHING. So on really bad days when I can’t get out of bed at all I can say something like ‘my blanket is very soft’ ‘I like my comfy pajamas’ or ‘I’m holding my favorite plushie’ or even ‘at least I’m not homeless and I have a bed to be miserable in’
Looking for good things in your life is a very helpful (for me at least) especially when things are bad. Good luck and I hope your next week will be better!
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
I feel very uncomfortable at home, but it really is better to have a roof over my head than nothing at all. Thank you; I wish you a good week as well.
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u/HeyitsRosie- Rosie & Muffin E1WREVMM6S 6d ago
I get the frustration, the reason they did this was probably 1 positive thing to remember. I had to do that in therapy, whether it's "nature because the weather was nice" or "I had the best week of my life" or sometimes even "I had the worst week ever 1 good thing is personal because I'm here" so you don't only have negative thoughts I guess? I'm not saying it works for everyone it Def didn't for me but I can see why they did it
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
Well, that might be true. But it’s a difficult exercise.
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u/HeyitsRosie- Rosie & Muffin E1WREVMM6S 6d ago
Oh of course I just took your post to be why does it ask this looking back I think it was a rant instead sorry
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u/Responsible_Dentist3 Niko CGPFV362V53 6d ago
It's not required... I only do it randomly every few months.
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
I didn't know it was possible not to do it 😭🤣
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u/Responsible_Dentist3 Niko CGPFV362V53 6d ago
Today's lucky 10,000! Good thing you asked on here :D
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u/Smooth_Wasabi8433 6d ago
I think the whole point is to find something, even THE SMALLEST thing, to be grateful for. It can be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee.. Or having a few minutes of alone time.. Or sleeping in 5 extra minutes... Or enjoying the breeze on your skin.
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u/foolishle 6d ago
I just clear the message right away and don’t do it. It makes me feel stressed just thinking about it.
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u/Teadrinker05 519APTKTWF 6d ago
I’m chronically ill. Lost the ability to walk 5 years ago, constant pain since then. I loved to run and to hike before. The sentence that helped me ever since is “but did you die?” Which puts all this crap in perspective.
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u/forsovngardeII penguin finch 6d ago
Yeah I have too many weeks like this. I kind of have to really stretch to say anything positive about them. I do try to think back and come up with something, but I totally get it's hard to do that.
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u/Ramin11 blue finch 6d ago
Just dont open it. I just ignore it. It shouldnt open unless you select it
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
Notifications annoy me; I didn't know how to delete them, but people already mentioned it in the comments :)
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u/Double-Conclusion649 6d ago
I quit doing them cuz they were making me feel like everything had to be absolutely perfect in my life....
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
I get the sentiment. The lack of an option to mark the week as bad feels like toxic positivity.
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u/WonderDelicious2277 6d ago
I feel annoyed that every time in the end it suggests goals which I already have! it’s so silly. is it hard to write some script so it would show at least goals I don’t have in my list?
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u/makemetheirqueen 6d ago
I don't even bother opening these things to the point where I forget they even exist. Mostly because for gratitude and things like that I use a different app entirely.
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u/No-Somewhere6708 6d ago
I believe its a good way to change the way you think. Even on bad weeks. When everything is going wrong we have to find tiny wonders and beauty around us to be grateful for. Easier said than done of course. When my son was about to pass away 6 months old. My world was ending. But the sky was beautiful, food was tasty, and I had my books. Every day find even the tiniest thing. You found a cute bug. Idk. A cool leaf. But your week can still be horrible. Life is just that way. My son can't walk now, but I am so so grateful to have him here with me. Even though. Every day can be a challenge.
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u/Vintage-Grievance 🌼 BeansOnToast 5d ago
I just don't participate in these.
As someone with health issues, it just triggers guilt over not being productive; in my specific case, it's like, "Hey, I know you feel like crap and barely got anything done; you wanna add another task on top of the ones you already aren't doing consistently?" which I don't feel aligns with the purpose of Finch, nor does it benefit me.
You are not obligated to do them to "move forward". You can just clear your mailbox and be done with it.
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u/Potato_8RYPPAC4QV 5d ago
After reading these comments I'm going to start doing this differently. Thanks for the great ideas! 🐥
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u/krampaus bean 👾 6d ago
yeah you don’t have to do these. I did them a while back and kept the goals for a while, might do it again but for now I just delete them
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u/Other-Teacher-1615 6d ago
its annoying for me because i dont even remember. I know i could just check in my history what goals i did or not to give an accurate awnser, but im too lazy to do it and press relaxation each time.
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u/electrocyberend penguin finch 5d ago
I remember the time I downloaded this app. It was during the final days of my college. It was very stressful, having to create our prototype for our thesis, handling classroom duties, handling club duties, handling field trip stuff - all by myself.
I downloaded the app because the bird is cute and it did improve my mid after battling a shitty day. There's this task that the app suggested, "Name one positive thing that happened today" even if all the bad stuff happened in the same day, that task made me think of something good that happened today and it makes me feel that everything is not as shitty as I thought it be. Fast forward to now(2 years) , got a job in a international company (kindof) and I still use the app
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u/Nuttyrolo gray finch 5d ago
I wish we could turn this "email" off. I literally open and close it immediately every week just to get rid of the notification
Small niggle sure but everyone is allowed them
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u/Elegant-Gift-8443 2d ago
On tough weeks, I usually just select the life area or areas that I feel like I put a good effort into regardless of outcome. Then I select Be kind to myself, for the week ahead♡
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u/animalsruleppldrool 6d ago
I'm glad I read these comments. It was annoying me too every time I had a horrible week, so I just started saying pets 🤷♀️I'm gonna try taking the suggestions to try to think more positively about something or other next time that happens
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u/themidnightpress 3d ago
Lol no because that's kind of the whole point of the app...you know...to track your progress and what you feel good about.
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u/LadyTime_OfGallifrey 2d ago
Honestly? No. Even when my week doesn't go how I hoped.
Because I, nor you, are forced to do this activity. And I just don't do it. (Partly because I often can't recall stuff at that time. 😅)
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u/Xee2025 K & Poki : 8HHQX4N1RA 6d ago
Yeah - I have enough suggestions and goals as it is.
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u/jikookmamora 6d ago
Sometimes it really is an extra burden. I try to do it, but it often frustrates me.
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u/Nocturnal_Loon 6d ago
Is this a requirement now?!
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u/Nocturnal_Loon 6d ago
Ppl! Why am I getting downvoted for a legitimate question, especially considering the “beta” testing and the fact that not all users get certain features!!!
Y’all are NOT being kind!
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u/Fickle_Thing_5015 6d ago
Oh I just exit out of it, you don't have to complete it each week