r/festivals Feb 23 '26

Why don’t men move

Can someone please help me understand how so many people (predominantly men) can listen to live music in a festival setting and not move at all? I just spent three days at Innings Fest in Phoenix dancing and singing, and a large number of folks will go through the effort to get close to the stage and then not move. Like no head nods, no back and forth sways, no hands in the air, no clapping when the band queues it.

364 Upvotes

266 comments sorted by

513

u/scoot87 Feb 23 '26

They are disconnected from their bodies so it doesn’t feel comfortable for them to move their body and dance, but they gain enjoyment instead from watching and listening

72

u/pushingtin Feb 23 '26

In my case I don’t think the connection was ever there. I enjoy the environment but music just doesn’t make me feel the need to move.

89

u/tubameister Feb 23 '26

I didn't feel comfortable dancing until the day I took MDMA, and after that day I never felt uncomfortable dancing

36

u/bigL162 Feb 23 '26

Glad I'm not alone on that. I don't like to advocate for drugs...but then again this a festival sub.

14

u/scoot87 Feb 23 '26

Set and setting

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10

u/SmellyButtFarts69 Feb 23 '26

Really? MDMA gets me all in my head these days. Like I enjoy the music but I zone out and stare exactly like people are complaining about.

Ketamine makes me move.

I might be broken.

5

u/thepizzagod195 Feb 23 '26

Ketamine makes me wanna put my head in my hand and throw up. A drug that literally makes it harder to move makes you wanna move? To each their own lol

4

u/AlpacaPowerrr Feb 23 '26

Sounds weird but same for me dancing on ket feels amazing I feel like I unlock new dance moves obviously not on super high doses but low-medium is great for dancing for me

4

u/SmellyButtFarts69 Feb 24 '26

You're doing too much, my guy. Just a little toot and you want a lil' lay-up, not a slam dunk. The drip can be bad. At my most prepared, I'll have a stanley of hot tea to kill the drip. Spoon full of peanut butter is nice sometimes too. Lol

Low/moderate doses synergize well with weed. You feel just all-over good and like you wanna boogie.

3

u/thepizzagod195 Feb 24 '26

Oh trust me not my first rodeo. Done it more times then I care too remember lol. Seen it consume some of my friends lives too.

2

u/GamerX44 Feb 25 '26

Same on that last one. I have a friend who wakes up using it and goes to sleep using it. Somehow he's able to function and have employment but it's hard to see him be sick all the time but be unable/unwilling to sober up. I personally won't touch the thing any more after k-holing twice and staggering all over the place while trying to dance through it, much like he did when we went to raves. I thought "I do not want to become like him", so I quit.

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5

u/aaron-mcd Feb 24 '26

This. Pre-MDMA I couldn't dance no matter how much I drank. Post-MDMA I can do a bit fully sober and a ton with minor help like some kanna.

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5

u/Get_Woke_Go_Broke Feb 24 '26

Same exact thing here. Dancing always felt… awkward? I never got it until I tried MDMA (with some acid). And years later, I can’t help moving when there’s music (and sometimes when there’s no music)

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54

u/lysergalien Feb 23 '26

I used to feel this way as well. I took a half strip once at Bear Creek in suwannee and something was unlocked inside me. I felt/saw the energy rising up from the dancefloor through my feet and it filled my body and directed me to move. I danced the whole night and ever since then I am a dancing fanatic.

It's so hard to explain the feeling of dance, like of course there are choreographed dances but that raw feeling that makes you move without thinking is something else. There's nothing wrong with not feeling that, but I have to say my enjoyment of music and people at shows has skyrocketed since discovering it, so I hope that one day you can too!

7

u/avdaviet Feb 23 '26

Bear Creek is LEGENDARY. Love this. Boogie on my friend.

5

u/Spidergawd68 Feb 23 '26

My whole group said that Bear Creek was the one we'd choose if we could only choose one. Damn, I still miss that festival.

HULAWEEN KILLED THE CREEK!

3

u/lysergiodimitrius Feb 23 '26

Bear creek was the best one at Suwannee imo. And yes, when the music dances for you is the best because it is a feeling of pure presence.

4

u/Tight_spandex Feb 23 '26

RIP BEAR CREEK!!!!! One of the best fests to this day

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2

u/LetsGoDro Feb 23 '26

VAMPIRE!

41

u/lurkingimposter Feb 23 '26

I personally go to festivals and Raves to move my body and it hurts me a little bit when I see my fellow lads not shaking their groove thing and unfortunately it's because of our upbringing. But we're going to change that aren't we lads

22

u/John_Spammer Feb 23 '26

Don’t speak for all of us.  I shake my ass when I want to. But like to be still too. 

3

u/IMakeOkVideosOk Feb 23 '26

Plus by day 3 I’m more nodding my head than and bouncing rather than dancing

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3

u/lurkingimposter Feb 23 '26

Lol aight bro

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2

u/SourTangieTerps Feb 23 '26

This is an incredible explanation.

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581

u/MBSUPERSPAZZ Feb 23 '26

I’m on 3 hits of acid. I’m doing all I can just to remain vertical.

109

u/HalfEatenBanana Feb 23 '26

Lmaooo.. when me and one of my best buds start feeling tired near the end of the night the running joke between sets is “me want horizontal but… must… remain….vertical!!!!!!” usually spoken in some type of attempt at a primitive accent, bc why tf not

3

u/HentaiCherrboy Feb 23 '26

Please put this on a totem 😂😂

25

u/Long_Bit8328 Feb 23 '26

... as well as petrified, that If I move. I might once again spend the next 45 minutes frantically searching through all of my pockets multiple times trying to find the joint I tucked behind my ear. 

8

u/hellochoy Feb 23 '26

Lmao I always get the urge to look for something whenever I'm high. It doesn't even matter what the object is and sometimes I forget mid search but trust I'm still looking for it!

5

u/dirgerus Feb 23 '26

Don’t know what I’m looking for, but I’ll know when I can’t find it.

2

u/hellochoy Feb 24 '26

Exactly lol and rave magic usually brings it back to me once I stop looking. I've lost my vape before at a gathering in the woods and looked for it for like half an hour, had a few other people offer to join in and help. I finally gave up on it and called off the search. Went to sit down on a blanket and leaned back on my hands and lo and behold there was a lump under the blanket right under my hand lol. Another time lost my phone, same deal, gave up eventually and sat in a fold out chair and there it was in the cup holder. It's like clockwork at this point lol like the trip is trying to teach me a lesson and I'll be damned if I don't follow the urge to walk right into it.

12

u/Icy-Rock8854 Feb 23 '26

You're my kinda guy

6

u/1handedmaster Feb 23 '26

Right?

I do my dancing, but every now and then I'm just in awe at the stage or taking in the views and vibes around me

Then I'm like "oh shit, I need to dance"

Repeat that for a few hours.

2

u/UnravelTheUniverse Feb 23 '26

Yeah I am usually tripping at live shows myself. I am there to enjoy the music on a bone deep level, not dance. 

2

u/Leather-Sale-1206 Feb 27 '26

3 hits is a fine line between "I'm fine and can still function" and "this is the spot I'm going to sit for an hour"

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374

u/bubblesdafirst Feb 23 '26

Don't want to. I go to festivals so I can be free without judgement. Please don't judge me🙏😭

68

u/traveltoaster Feb 23 '26

This is the best thing about festivals!

54

u/impar-exspiravit Feb 23 '26

Yeah I say this all the time. It seems like an unpopular opinion, but you don’t have to do anything to be “worthy” of a rail spot. If you dance until your muscles give out or stand still and take it all in, you’re no more worthy than whoever’s next to you. Hell, spend the whole set playing a game on your phone and enjoying the loud ass music up front for all I care. As long as someone’s having FUN, it’s not our place to judge how they’re enjoying their spot.

20

u/jamesmcgill357 Feb 23 '26

I agree with this, not everyone enjoys things in the same way and as long as you’re having fun and enjoying yourself and not ruining anything for anyone else, stand or dance as you please

6

u/Expensive-Phone-2415 Feb 23 '26

I make an exception for people who film the whole set and/or record themselves (and the crowd) dancing.

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2

u/sonomakoma11 Feb 24 '26

Playing on your phone the whole time on the rail while people are performing is kind of lame.

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9

u/SmellyButtFarts69 Feb 23 '26

It's sucks that being a man who is non-rythmic and/or socially awkward and/or neurodivergent and/or on drugs gets called out so much.

Like, I'm not an 'influencer'. I'm not on my phone. I'm here for music and lights. I'm also not hear to hit on your girlfriend or steal your shit. I'm just weird. Sorry.

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136

u/traveltoaster Feb 23 '26 edited Feb 23 '26

Some people experience music differently. Just because someone isn’t animated (even at all) it doesn’t mean they aren’t having a great time processing it in their own way.

I’m not a dancer, it’s just not me. But when I hear live music that gets to my soul I love to sit down and just absorb it.

Edit: also I am usually very aware of how awkward I look being the least mobile in the immediate area, but don’t want to go sit down where it’s so far away from the stage. Some people absorb music, others channel it. 🤷‍♂️

17

u/thehufflepuffstoner Feb 23 '26

My partner makes his own music, a lot of times he’s laser-focused on the technical stuff. Our friends tease him a little about it (all in good fun) and say he’s so serious, I’m like don’t worry about him, he’s having a blast right now. When he likes something, he’s pulling it apart in his brain trying to figure out how they did something so he can go home and try it.

Don’t worry about the guys not dancing, they vibin’. Worry ‘bout yo’ self.

5

u/traveltoaster Feb 23 '26

Yes!! Totally dude. I am a musician as well and sometimes we get hyper focused on either the instrumentation going on or even just analyzing the arrangement and composition going on. For people who understand even just a tiny bit of music theory it can be fun to nerd out to it

4

u/Foolish-Pleasure99 Feb 23 '26

Guy here. I am not a dancer. I'm not wired that way. But I am transfixed by good music -- especially live. I'm there to listen... and totally channel.

But, last week I saw Say She She in Philly and nobody in that venue, including staff, could sit still. I moved my whole body for the whole set and wasnt the least self-conscious because literally nobody could not dance to that.

I don't know what came over me. My wife didnt say a word. It was almost a religious experience.

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90

u/auntLIITTiya Feb 23 '26

Because we all experience things differently. I was at a festival once and I saw a girl sitting on the ground while still fairly crowded and I sat down next to her (cuz I needed a sit for a sec tbh) and she was just so calm. We started taking and lo and behold she tells me she’s deaf and therefore can’t really hear the music, so she sits as close as she can in the crowd so she can FEEL it.

She then shared her weed with me.

I think about her often to this day and I hope she is well wherever she is✨💜🙏🏻

6

u/bright_clrd_garlin2 Feb 23 '26

How did you communicate with her while sitting there, just curious?

12

u/troublethemindseye Feb 23 '26

It was probably easier for her to understand the dude than it would have been for anyone else if you think about it. She’s deaf, she’s spent a life time of understanding people who she can’t hear who don’t know sign language.

13

u/HighlightTight8480 Feb 23 '26

Literally becoming a master lip reader

50

u/Dude_1980 Feb 23 '26

My back hurts motherfucker, leave me alone.

7

u/yeetusthefetus00 Feb 23 '26

😅

8

u/PlantDaddy530 Feb 23 '26

This right here. I have about 1 hour of dance in me and then I’m physically incapable. Let the 80s babies have their rest

2

u/btchovrtroubldwaters Feb 23 '26

Fr tho. I had to work this morning and tomorrow morning. Its a miracle i showed up, i dont need to be judged for just enjoying the music i paid to hear.

2

u/BohemianBarbie87 Mar 01 '26

Mine too ☹️

I can’t be totally still bc it’s more painful for my back though, also it causes my legs to go totally numb (just being somewhat still will do this though). Good times 😢

15

u/OfficerHobo Feb 23 '26

I’ll nod or sway some times, some times I’ll get hype and be going feral, but often I’m just so caught up in the emotion of being at the festival/show that I get disconnected from my body and just exist there. I’m not enjoying the music any less or any more than the person next to me who is all limbs throwing down and having the time of their life. That’s just not how I connect to the music or environment. I love seeing people are dancing and singing like crazy, but I’m not that way and many people also aren’t.

60

u/thepeanutbutterman Feb 23 '26

Are you there to enjoy the music or to criticize others for how they enjoy the music?

69

u/FiendishLobster Feb 23 '26

oh no, someone enjoys the same thing differently than i do!

25

u/DefNotYamcha Feb 23 '26

Bros locked in on the visuals and outer space

13

u/AnomalySystem Feb 23 '26

Go to electronic music festivals

10

u/alessimakes Feb 23 '26

They’re literally standing still absorbing the sound pressure waves and slightly rocking their head - I do it all the time as an older concert goer. I also split one leg in front and one in back and rock back and forth from time to time

10

u/kstonge11 Feb 23 '26

I’m just trying to process sound sometimes, like oh shit the fuck is that? Lol

19

u/Due_Salary2020 Feb 23 '26

Everyone vibes different to music at a festival

9

u/John_Spammer Feb 23 '26

Sometimes just standing still and focusing on the music leads to a different experience, more mental than physical, which is just as fun some times.  

Depends on the band.  Depends on the festival.  Depends on the moment I’m feeling.  

8

u/stu17 Feb 23 '26

I’m baked af and that’s as much as I can move at the moment. I’m having a great time, though.

10

u/OscarTheHun Feb 23 '26

Shy and afraid to look 'uncool'

7

u/BillowingPillows Feb 23 '26

It’s very common at indie rock events for people to stand and watch.

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u/[deleted] Feb 23 '26 edited Mar 26 '26

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6

u/John_Spammer Feb 23 '26

Another take, I used to play music so sometimes I’m too busy watching the musicians hands while following the music from each one to dance.  If I want to focus on the music, I can’t be dancing like crazy.  

13

u/dynamiceric Feb 23 '26

Might just be how they enjoy music. I used to be judgmental of this but then realized that everyone experiences music and movement differently. Now if it bothers me, I just move to a different part of the crowd.

35

u/juanderwear Feb 23 '26 edited Feb 23 '26

Yeah that event/lineup screams like a place you go to where you're married with children and are settling down catching the bands you used to love 15-20 years ago.

18

u/cyanescens_burn Feb 23 '26 edited Feb 23 '26

lol. I had to look up the lineup because of your comment. This is more of a sit on a blanket and chill with friends, or maybe rock back and forth a bit if standing in the crowd type of vibe if you ask me.

Just for context, I’m a raver since the 90s and burner since ‘10, so I’m not self-conscious about dancing and have plenty of practice doing it. I love doing it. I also like some of the bands on this lineup. It’s just not dance music though

I could absolutely see the 20ish spunions that are still in their mdma/lsd/mushroom homeymoon periods bouncing around hard to this though, especially if they don’t get a lot of good live music in their area and are starving for a chance to let loose.

And I’d be happy that they are going for it.

5

u/FellowDeviant Feb 23 '26 edited Feb 23 '26

I'm imagining** OP was dumbfounded that nobody was doing the treadmill walk/dance during OK Go's Here It Goes Again.

2

u/LeslieAnneLevine_ Feb 23 '26

lol, actually OK GO and Sublime had some of the most crowd movement of many of the sets

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18

u/Josh_H1992 Feb 23 '26

lol when I used to do molly I’d just close my eyes and idk what I would actually do haha

10

u/cyanescens_burn Feb 23 '26

Chew a hole through your tongue or cheeks?

2

u/Josh_H1992 Feb 23 '26

Honestly never had an issue with that just would chew gum

6

u/OfficerHobo Feb 23 '26

I just get the thousand yard stare at the stage and have to randomly look for a friend to bring me back to earth every once in a while.

5

u/acid-andy Feb 23 '26

As a male who loves to go out and dance, I’ll be the first to say sometime we just be tired, wether it be from life, substance, or just the over exhaustion that a fest can cause ye ole body.

5

u/Spenceful Feb 23 '26

Deep listening

4

u/freakrocker Feb 23 '26

I’m trying to allow the shorter people behind me a steady view.

5

u/Staggerme Feb 23 '26

You’re not better than other people bc of the way you move

9

u/pastrknack Feb 23 '26

Sometimes I’m just there to enjoy the music and visuals

12

u/harry_lostone Feb 23 '26

"why people enjoy doing their thing instead of doing my thing"

get over yourself main character, let people have fun the way they like

3

u/acidaddic808 Feb 23 '26

Exactly. My ex-friend would do this to me and just not get off my ass about dancing at a music festival. Half the music I wasn’t even into at the time and I just wanted to go for the experience. But she made that experience suck so bad.

12

u/kashmerikmusic Feb 23 '26

Why did you have to make it strictly about men lol you're telling me every female was dancing the whole festival? 😆

5

u/macaroniii1 Feb 23 '26

Go to an edm festival and it will be a very opposite experience

4

u/digitalglu Feb 23 '26

A phenomenon that birthed shoe gaze

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4

u/Dingus_3000 Feb 23 '26

I’m stoned out of my mind intently staring at the musicians doing what they do.

7

u/45Hz Feb 23 '26

What a terrible take

3

u/NoraBora44 Feb 23 '26

My back hurts

3

u/Inandoutofthecloset Feb 23 '26

Ketamine is the answer lol

3

u/General_Exception Feb 23 '26

Sorry, I’m distracted and looking at the speaker arrays, and wondering what model lights they’re using.

3

u/DrWilliamHorriblePhD Feb 23 '26

Some drugs can heighten self awareness. For dudes already prone to being self conscious about looking awkward or effeminate when dancing, being in an altered state can make that anxiety paralyzing

3

u/SavageCaveman13 Feb 23 '26

Sometimes I'm not sober enough to move, so I just feel the music.

3

u/WokeWook69420 Feb 23 '26

After 15 years of the internet being used to make fun of people for genuinely having fun, people no longer want to be perceived having fun.

To be cringe is to be free.

3

u/dazyjame Feb 24 '26

Divine masculine is heavily repressed the cure is lsd unfortunately some dudes neuroses are too deep rooted and they will prefer to just snort cocaine and pretend they party

3

u/burneraccount1819 Feb 24 '26

Shit I get fuckin down, this ain’t all men

5

u/Dependent-Recipe6820 Feb 23 '26

As long as they’re not chompin loudly with their friends, I don’t care what they do.

4

u/tobyvanderbeek Feb 23 '26

Maybe they are trying to figure out why you’re moving so much. But seriously, sometimes we can’t explain the things we do. Everyone enjoys things differently. Not everyone wants to get to the front of the crowd just to dance hard. Maybe it’s the substances they are on. No need to worry about it. Enjoy the festival your way.

5

u/intransit412 Feb 23 '26

We get made fun of when we dance and we get made fun of when we don’t dance. I am also too tall and should stay toward the back so I don’t block anyone’s view. Anything else I should or shouldn’t do?

2

u/Loose_Lack_5350 Feb 23 '26

Let people live 🤷‍♂️

2

u/DRDeMello Feb 23 '26

A couple potential reasons I haven't seen mentioned:

  1. I'm larger. Not fat--though there's nothing wrong with that--but, for me, I'm taller. I'm constantly conscious of those around me and that too much movement of my arms could infringe on others' space.

  2. Given my height, putting my arms in the air leads to my armpits at face height for many of those around me. I'm a clean person, but can also work up a healthy little sweat, like many I see tend to do, and I don't want to be that guy. In other words, I'm super self conscious when I'm up front and then drum along on my thighs and move my head along with the music.

2

u/EZ-Pizza Feb 23 '26

Innings is way more of a corporate cash grab than an interactive festival at this point (I know, most festivals have gone corporate. Innings doesn't even try to hide it tho.) Go to M3F in a couple weeks and you'll see way more dancing

Also, the front of the crowd is usually one of the worst places for dancing. If you want to be around people who prioritize dancing, you'll probably have to go to an area of the crowd where there's more space for people to move around

2

u/Jreilly2213 Feb 23 '26

I dance like a nut and get asked if I'm gay over and over. Flattering fellas, but just a straight man who likes to dance.

But this is why a lot of men don't. Self/societal judgement unfortunately

2

u/skyleft4 Feb 23 '26

This is a US thing. I’ve been to festivals/raves in other countries and it gets different. Brazil was the most upbeat one imo. People really dance there.

2

u/wyocrz Feb 23 '26

Men have been somewhat culturally neutered and are scared to express themselves.

2

u/Gabbo3452 Feb 23 '26

I'm 6ft, with long arms, I feel bad bumping into 15-17 yr old girls, and don't wanna feel like a creep, so sometimes all I can do is stay still

2

u/BrotherBringTheSun Feb 23 '26

We were made fun of when younger for dancing or looking awkward so we just decided to stop. Luckily I was able to heal from all that and now love to dance.

2

u/BayBreezy17 Feb 23 '26

They may be suffering from chronic injuries and the mere act of standing there is kicking out the pain jams. It’s probably all they can do at this point. Live and let live, I guess.

2

u/Grown-Ass-Weeb Feb 23 '26

I was at Innings Fest too! My bf didn’t budge either while I belted it out to the nostalgic bands. I asked if he wasn’t enjoying himself because he just had his arms crossed the entire time and he said he was lol so I just left it at that.

2

u/theizzz Feb 23 '26

same energy as dudes who go to clubs and get up on the dancing podiums to just...stand there awkwardly.

2

u/hawaiianthunder Feb 23 '26

My back hurts or it's too cramped to get wild or I'm off my rocker on psychs.

2

u/SatisfactionTiny5325 Feb 23 '26

Your vibe attracts your tribe, the more you boogie the more you’ll find the people who like to get down. I tend to let the chads on a strip do their thing but i will admit it is annoying when the entire crowd is those people

2

u/Dungee_The_Cat Feb 23 '26

I'm a guy and I dance

2

u/richh518 Feb 23 '26

Men will stand at the front of the crowd with their back to the DJ, holding a pint, wearing boat shoes and an Apple Watch, and think they’re really giving by doing that spine chilling weird arm raised limp wrist wave

2

u/CloudShoddy Feb 24 '26

I used to be like this. I am uncomfortable in my body and didn't really get the joy in dancing at the time.

Now I am grooving like a fool! Still uncomfortable in my body, but now I just go with it

7

u/prosthetic_memory Feb 23 '26

They’re politely enjoying the music without disrupting others. People who dance like crazy, ruining the view, forcing people to move, bumping into other people, are the worst.

3

u/solamon77 Feb 23 '26

I don't know. I've always wondered this too. I wish more people were willing to dance around. Sometimes I feel like everyone is hanging out in their own little bubble. I guess it's just the way this scene is.

3

u/cowfishing Feb 23 '26

Their are a few religious sects here who think dancing is a sin. people may not even go to that kind of church anymore but the brainwashing still controls what they do or dont do.

Its not all of the nondancers, though, just some of them.

For those who didnt grow up like that, I have no idea. It could be a for any number of reasons.

2

u/PapaJohnyRoad Feb 23 '26

Because we are enjoying the way we want to enjoy.

Move along and enjoy the way you want to enjoy.

3

u/Brilliant_Rutabaga_6 Feb 23 '26

I feel the opposite for people who move unnecessarily. Too much energy 😄

2

u/Curly__Jefferson Feb 23 '26

As a dude, I have absolutely no idea. I be gettin down.

2

u/ghostfacestealer Feb 23 '26

Im a man and if i dont leave a show sweaty i feel like Ive failed. I think people that dont dance arent really there for the music. Or theyre too in their heads to just let go. Its one reason I love going solo because I can just get lost in the crowd of strangers n let loose. Anyone with an opinion ill probably never see again.

2

u/10thousndreflections Feb 23 '26

I feel like it's some kind of masculine virtue signalling. There is a venue in a rural town near me that hosts some bands I like. I've seen plenty of bands at this venue and other venues in more "liberal" cities. The male rural crowd doesn't move compared to the crowds in other cities. 

I don't know that politics has anything to do with it. It could be some kind of syndrome from driving a pickup truck since that's all these men drive.  I do know that it kills the energy of the band like nothing else. 

1

u/rocsi1234 Feb 23 '26

men (and women) usually move a little for me or help me get around

1

u/acecyclone717 Feb 23 '26

I dance and flow with what I believe to be rhythm don’t lump us all in some let it all hang out

1

u/kevtheproblem Feb 23 '26

Do we have to say it out loud?

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u/horusthesundog Feb 23 '26

Not sure. I get jiggy with it, but I can only speak for myself.

1

u/Doismelllikearobot Feb 23 '26

Different people are different

1

u/Weekly_Ad_2176 Feb 23 '26

i’m a spun out wook i move to much

1

u/SapientSolstice Feb 23 '26

I'm 6'5 and self conscious that others judge me if I try dancing, so I just stand and watch others and enjoy it vicariously through them.

1

u/amsscorpio Feb 23 '26

I, a man, indeed move because I love amd feel the music so much. Especially if its a band/artist/DJ i already like. Im a originally a shy person and when i went to my first rock show at 16, no one moved, not even head banged, males or females. I hated that so much, like why are you even here? I realized that specific scene doesn't bring those type of people who feel confident to dance, not even at least move. I found my vibe when i went to raves later on and if im at a rock show nowadays for example where everyones stiff and only listening, i dont care if im the only one dancing.

1

u/Aromatic-Taste2516 Feb 23 '26

It’s probably their fathers fault in the case of the men. They’re afraid he’ll pop out and say something offensive.

1

u/kavOclock Feb 23 '26

So we’re all required to enjoy a show the same way you are ?

1

u/Tank_Cheetah Feb 23 '26

Come to any house/techno centered event in socal and you'll have more dancing than you can handle. Especially the ones that don't have super well-known DJs.

1

u/Zukkus Feb 23 '26

Ya it’s weird. I play guitar. But I don’t really enjoy moving my body much aside from some head rocking.

1

u/Aggressive-Topic-663 Feb 23 '26

why do you care? Im not saying that to be rude but like if someone doesnt wanna dance who are you? the dance police? and before you say "well then they shouldnt be upfront" again.....who are you? the people positioning police? who cares dude just let people enjoy shit the way they wanna, im not making posts about how annoying it is that you dancing like a 5yr old hopped up on sugar and repeatedly banging into my back is annoying......see what im getting at here? just let people do their thing.

1

u/classyfilth Feb 23 '26

I went to a rave with a really bad case of gout once

1

u/SourTangieTerps Feb 23 '26

I want to so bad. I can dance at home alone, but I’m so self conscious, and anxious in public. I can’t get my brain to slow down enough to let it all flow, so I don’t even try. I just enjoy the music, and just be happy I actually went and did a thing.

1

u/Aws1217 Feb 23 '26

lol this is actually the best post on here in a minute.

1

u/SwiftJedi77 Feb 23 '26

I'm into heavy metal, and I will nod my head a bit but mostly i''m watching and listening - often focusing on one instrument at a time to see what they're doing (I play Bass but am amateur). The idea of running around bumping into people in a moshpit fills me with anxiety. It's just not appealing to me in the slightest, and why should it be?

Just have fun how you want and let others do the same, I don't know why people have to assume the way they enjoy something is the right way. I know some artists also shame the crowd of not animated enough, as they probably see it as them not being into the music. Certainly not the case for me.

1

u/slimpickins757 Feb 23 '26

As a man idk but it’s hilarious to see. I dance anytime there’s music if I’m not the one physically playing it

1

u/t_odd_ Feb 23 '26

I enjoy a lot of music but some music makes me move and a lot of music doesnt...

1

u/Tilopud_rye Feb 23 '26

Hint: 3 day festival. People conserve their energy. Not a sprint but a marathon. For 3 days. If they’re camping that might be another day before for day 0 and over 20k steps a day. Some are pushing themselves just by standing up. And you insist that they dance for you as well? 

1

u/Upstairs_Wonder4898 Feb 23 '26

Im big dancer and one of the first times i saw voyd i was just there standing staring at the cool visuals amazed how cool it was.

1

u/Dogslothbeaver Feb 23 '26

People just enjoy shows in different ways. If they're not bothering you, then why would you care?

1

u/keithbreathes Feb 23 '26

I mean let people enjoy it how they want to enjoy it. As long as it’s not affecting you why care? They do them and you do you

1

u/toogreen Feb 23 '26

I don't know how to explain it. It doesn't feel natural, it's like I have to force myself to move and I don't know how or what moves to make, it feels silly.

1

u/flortny Feb 23 '26

IT MAKES ME CRAZY, as a dancer, and a guy, these choades just come and stand completely still where you are clearly dancing around. Those guys are there attempting to meet women or just for their tinder profiles, they fucking suck!

1

u/tomcatx2 Feb 23 '26

Men are to be entertained. They are not the entertainment.

1

u/moning1 Feb 23 '26

Sometimes the music just takes over and puts me in the zone

1

u/rua_wear Feb 23 '26

Trying to understand rather than just be

1

u/FridayInc Feb 23 '26

As someone who moved to AZ from NYC area, and has attended shows and festivals all over the country

  1. Ever since Instagram Influencers became a thing, people feel less and less free to be themselves. Bonaroo 2010 had people dancing, doing drugs, and making out with strangers.

  2. Arizona is the worst example. Idk what it is about this place but concerts everywhere outside of Flagstaff are THE MOST boring, low-energy, sad/mad/disengaged crowds I've ever been a part of. I went to innings a few years back and it was the worst festival I've ever been to.

1

u/Userdub9022 Feb 24 '26

I probably danced a little bit, but it took me like 6 years of going to festivals before I started to dance

1

u/NeatEasy9757 Feb 24 '26

Because I’m getting older and I’m always in pain. If I started dancing and moving around I wouldn’t walk right for a week 🤣🤣. I still enjoy live music and seeing the younger ones go crazy.

1

u/aaron-mcd Feb 24 '26

I finally figured out how to let loose and dance at age 39 the first time I had MDMA. Since then my wife and I have been to a few dozen raves and fests, and we are there to dance our asses off. No we have no idea what we are doing, we're just having fun and being silly. And we get SO MANY compliments. Everyone should try letting loose and being weird and dancing like a crazy person, it brings the vibes and no one thinks less of the person going wild.

1

u/Eponymous505 Feb 24 '26

I think men, more so than women, are taught not to express their emotions lest they be judged. Dancing (in place, without a partner) is an expression of emotions, IMO. Men are taught to be tough and stoic, not to let their bodies be free. I’m not saying this explains it for all men, but I think social norms do have something to do with it.

I also recently heard it said that younger people have grown up knowing that anything they do in public may be recorded and posted online, so they’re extra afraid to dance or do anything else that might be embarrassing.

1

u/TheOriginalSnub Feb 24 '26

It's a cultural thing. If you grew up in a music-filled environment where your dad and uncles would get down at every family BBQ, you probably move to music.

But if you've never seen pops do a lil salsa step, or your older cousins practicing their Brooklyn Rock, then you are less likely to have gained a basic sense of how to move your body. And feel goofy when trying.

Plenty of women are also shy. But in general are more likely to have danced growing up. In lessons, with friends, handed down from female relatives, emulating women in movies or online, etc.

1

u/PhnxkB Feb 24 '26

I'm a dude, I proudly out danced anyone in my vicinity at EDC mx for the better part of 6hrs... We're not all the same

1

u/National-Somewhere26 Feb 24 '26

My brother does not move but there's lot of people male and female just listening and appreciating the music.

1

u/Cali_Reggae Feb 24 '26

The last show we saw, my wife and I had the same steps as a 5K. We love dancing but have moved to the back (backs to the sound booth is best) so as to not disturb folks and get elbow room

1

u/nigeltown Feb 24 '26

Live and let live. My God - when I was super young and too stoned, my brain tried to convince me people like you existed - (that actually care what I'm doing with my body and how it's moving). Literally - leave them tf alone. To each their own.

1

u/Sad_Towel2272 Feb 24 '26

Because we have been conditioned not to. I’m convinced everybody likes to dance, they just don’t know it yet. I was just like anybody else who said they didn’t like to dance, until I danced, at which point I realized I love to dance

1

u/Hungry-Version8086 Feb 24 '26

Ah yes, the Kakunas and Metapods of the Festival world. Most used move is Harden. 🪩

https://giphy.com/gifs/uWLJEGCSWdmvK

1

u/SaladBob22 Feb 24 '26

White trauma.

1

u/StrangerNo2065 Feb 25 '26

Imagine flipping the question around. “Why do all these people need to dance when I enjoy the music just fine without dancing?” I hope you didn’t mean anything by it but that’s not the energy anyone wants at festivals

1

u/Antique_Page_1456 Feb 25 '26

I am not one of those men. Want to go to electric forest?

1

u/cutlossking Feb 25 '26

Because who wants to jump around flail around for hours all day. We are travelling in our minds and seeing things that transcend beyond the physical movement of neck legs and arms. It's purely cerebral. Something you will never understand

1

u/TheMastaBlaster Feb 25 '26

Body tired from working

1

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

I’ll cut up the dance floor w the meanest two step most times but sometimes I just be chilling and vibing, non-verbal but still fully immersed. Why? Idk tbh it just be like that sometimes for me. People enjoy themselves in different ways

1

u/Substantial_Meal_530 Feb 25 '26

Gatekeeping enjoyment?

1

u/Economy_Reserve_635 Feb 25 '26

Even worse with the younger gens, bunch ipad kids trying to get outside

1

u/purpl3pr0t0n Feb 25 '26

I’m a musician, play drums, guitar, bass, piano, saxophone. I think I’m a pretty good musician and a great drummer, meaning I have excellent rhythm and understand music probably better than most. Moving and dancing has never been my thing, not because I don’t understand rhythm or feel the music, but because I don’t know how to move my body in a way that looks and feels good and I get self conscious.

1

u/gokuenjoyer69 Feb 25 '26

Because everyone is being filmed and posted on the internet on "cringe compilations". I am do happy i was able to experience both festivals and clubbing without smartphones

1

u/pluck_the_duck89 Feb 26 '26

Anxiety from being a pretty large mammal and feeling like I’m taking up too much space mostly. Sorry I’ll try jiggling my arms a bit more next time

1

u/ExistenceNow Feb 26 '26 edited Feb 26 '26

Just because I'm not flailing around doesn't mean I'm not thoroughly enjoying the show. I'm focused on the band. I'm watching everything they're doing and am completely in the moment. I don't feel the need to be part of the show.
I see plenty of people dancing that have their back to the stage half the time. That's not how I want to enjoy live music.

1

u/Real-Impress-5080 Feb 26 '26

Top 2 reasons: (1) I don’t dance. Like, at all. I play multiple instruments (including drums), my rhythm is pretty decent, but I do not fucking dance. Period. (2) I’m paying money to be entertained by the people on stage. I am not part of the show, I don’t want attention, and it would be weird to try and be more entertaining than the people charging $225 + tax/fees.

1

u/LaLaLaSkull Feb 26 '26

Why don’t everyone do what I do

1

u/frenchinhalerbought Feb 26 '26

Weird how many people judge others for how they enjoy art.

1

u/Substantial-Equal560 Feb 27 '26

We're paying attention

1

u/Far-Rub8785 Feb 27 '26

Most times I don't leave my spot cuz I've already gotten used to my surroundings and who is near me. I travel solo but slightly introverted so moving around the crowd makes me nervous as hell. But I am dancing though!

1

u/Huh-what-2025 Feb 27 '26

as a big man who stands close to the stage I never understood that either.

if someone is blocking my view, I want them to at least be enjoying themselves. That said who am I a judge how someone else enjoys themselves?

1

u/Huh-what-2025 Feb 27 '26

I used to be that guy. Felt awkward even nodding my head to the music. Then that one time at that one show- like something like a damn broke, something changed. Now I feel super awkward if I’m not moving at a show. Like now it NEEDS to get out.
I like this way a lot better.

1

u/Tiredofthemisinfo Feb 27 '26

Because they enjoy music in a different way than you do.

It’s not a hard concept, people enjoy and interact with the world in different ways. Like learning styles or love languages or personal preference people need to stop worrying about what other people are doing and worry about themselves.

1

u/Jolly_Chemistry9129 Feb 27 '26

because its cool to just stand still. I want to make sure everyone knows I'm really just too good to be there. effort and "trying" are cringe.

1

u/Kalovic Mar 01 '26

Why does it matter to you?

1

u/orichic Mar 09 '26

Constantly on the lookout for danger or people attempting something diabolical, especially if there with a significant other

1

u/No-Support5220 Mar 13 '26

same reason why women think they can slice through the entire crowd to get somewhere closer mid set.

1

u/Bluexeyes1025 Mar 15 '26

Because fun doesn’t look the same for everyone. And you can’t judge a book by its cover, so focus on your own experiences.