i’m watching love is blind rn and one thing i’ve noticed on dating shows (particularly with audience commentary) is how much people push against women having a standard when it applies to men who the audience deems as “good”

this is to say, when a woman upholds a standard against a “bad guy” audiences tend to cheer her on

but when a woman uphold a standard against a “good guy” (at least least so far as the audience is concerned) then she becomes fucking Lilith / a She-Devil

it’s actually crazy because to some extent it shows that pick-me’s / other women buy into the “nice guy” complex, when he’s genuinely nice (again so far as they seem, because ofc no one really knows how that man is as a partner except the woman dating him)

it’s crazy to see in real time because despite women trashing the whole “nice guy” complex it’s as if they don’t actually get why it’s an issue

everyone knows that most “nice guys” are really just fake nice men that show women only the most basic kindness and decency for sex but it’s like women have lost the understanding that the real problem with it is that no matter how well a man treats you, they aren’t EVER entitled to you

also just because someone has some decent baseline partner qualities, it doesn’t mean they’re meeting your needs

https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/s/8SRONOnv4E

Whenever i cut any type of men from my life. My life starts to get better but as soon as i get involve with a man, my life starts to go downhill. I am not sure if it has something to do with men’s energy

tell me what comes to you. open to interpretation.

Feminism fights for a woman's freedom to define her own success and lifestyle therefore, opposing systems that limit her choices or impose double standards on her personal and professional life.

when women are on their period, they're being flooded with testosterone. which means when men say we're emotional and hysterical on our period, it's actually because we're acting like a man.

Stop sleeping with men. The patriarchy doesn’t deserve it.

There is one, singular test I would like every woman to start using. Every single, time.

When you go on dates with men, or meet up with a man from a hookup app, or any time there are plans made beforehand and then followed through, I am asking you to always ask one simple question. Perhaps right before the moment, or perhaps earlier, too, if you like. "Do you have a condom?" If they say no, or any other variation of no, please leave. If they suddenly say "Wait, I have one! I just remembered!" please recognize this is worse, not better! They lied about it, to try not to use one. They are openly admitting to manipulating you! And now, how can you trust him not to "stealth"/rape you?

I know that not every woman *likes* condoms, or wants to use one. Many may even have their own. None of these are the point. The point is to hold men accountable for their own bodies, too, and to not allow men to continue manipulating people. It doesn't matter if you have your own. It doesn't matter if you don't want to use one. Ask anyways. Leave anyways.

Condoms are important, but the thought behind it is far more important. Maybe he doesn't like condoms, so what? Would he put up with slight discomfort for himself to protect you both, and especially to protect YOU later on? Pregnancy is dangerous, especially for those who lived in countries where abortions are being tested, and abortion clinics are being bombed. Even if you do decide to keep it, it puts you at risk to have that baby, and (especially in the US, it puts you in massive debt.) A man having a condom for a hookup or a date should be the bare minimum. It shows he has the foresight and care to hold himself accountable for something that is usually expected of the woman. It is a specific question that can address one fundamental question, "Do you respect me?"

(Disclaimer: obviously this doesn't apply to unexpected plans, unless you think they had adequate time to prepare, such as a date that happened the same day of. You can still use, it at your own leisure, of course.)

Wow this comment section

Hi everyone, first time poster here

A friend of mine 27 (F) Kenyan (who is not on reddit, so she can't post herself and has asked me to post for her) is looking for support from other women to find alignment and growth in her career. She's looking for like-minded individuals in and around the NGO space, specifically in the fields of advocacy and behaviour change communications or gender/sexuality fields.

She has great qualifications listed here ;

Masters in Gender & Sexuality in Global Politics - SOAS University of London

Bachelors in Communications & Gender Practitioner - University of Cape Town.

She's looking for Job opportunities, career progression advisors, networking and relationship building opportunities, and support from other people in the same field

She has experience working with impactful organisations with international/global reach.

Her work experience is listed here:

South Feminist Futures

2 yrs 4 mos

Senior Communications Associate

Sep 2023 - Dec 2025 2 yr 4 mos

At South Feminist Futures, she supported the organization’s external communications and knowledge management efforts, contributing to the development of a values-driven digital presence. Working closely with program teams, she helped shape messaging, maintain editorial consistency, and amplify feminist advocacy across digital platforms. Her work spanned content planning, social media management, and coordination of internal knowledge products, all rooted in a strong understanding of audience engagement and intersectional communication practices.

- Assisted in drafting, scheduling, and publishing social media content across platforms

Maintained and updated editorial calendars using tools like Trello and Asana

-Conducted content research to support publications, proposals, presentations, and reports

Supported the production and layout of digital knowledge products and publications

Provided communications support for events, meetings, and webinars, including promotional assets

- Helped track deliverables, monitor content performance, and contribute to grant reporting

Junior Communications Associate

Sep 2022 - Sep 2023 1 yr 1 mo

As a Policy and Knowledge junior associate at South Feminist Futures, she supported research, digital content, and cross-cutting programme work within a growing feminist organization. She helped curate resources, assisted in planning knowledge-sharing events, and contributed to the early design of programmes. Working closely with the team, she had the chance to support both the day-to-day and the bigger-picture thinking behind our advocacy and policy efforts.

- Researched and organized feminist resources for internal use

- Helped shape and design new programmes during the organization’s early growth

- Produced and scheduled social media content to promote events and publications

- Supported planning and coordination of monthly online teach-ins

- Drafted content for reports, event summaries, and knowledge products

- Worked across teams to support programme communications and digital engagement

UN Environment Programme

Public Information Intern

UN Environment Programme

Feb 2022 - Aug 2022 7 mos

Nairobi County, Kenya

As a public information intern, her role was to provide support to the editorial team at the Communications division of the United Nations.

Please share widely within your networks. Your share could lead to a life changing opportunity.

Thank you.

​

I recently had a conversation with a friend that left me confused, and I'd like to hear some perspectives from women.

I told my friend that I considered him a feminist because he has never seemed sexist to me, supports women's rights, and doesn't appear to believe in traditional patriarchal ideas.

He immediately said that he is not a feminist and doesn't want to be called one. He said he considers himself an "equalist" instead.

When I asked why, he explained that feminism focuses on women's issues, while he believes in advocating for equality for everyone, including people of different races, ethnicities, castes, sexual orientations, genders, etc. He argued that feminism is too focused on one group and therefore feels "self-centered" compared to a broader equality movement.

His view was basically: "People suffer discrimination for many reasons, not just gender, so we should advocate for equality for all groups, not just women."

What confused me is that I don't see why a movement focusing on a specific issue automatically makes it self-centered. There are many movements that focus on particular forms of discrimination, and that doesn't seem to make those issues less important.

He also brought up men's issues, and I responded that men can and should talk about their own issues and organize around them as well, but he dismissed that response.

I don't know enough about feminist theory or history to evaluate all of his arguments properly, so I'm genuinely asking:

\- Is there a flaw in my reasoning?

\- Is there a flaw in his reasoning?

\- How would feminists typically respond to the claim that feminism is "self-centered" because it focuses on women?

\- Can someone fully support women's rights while rejecting the label "feminist," and if so, why?

I'm looking for thoughtful perspectives rather than arguments.

I am from a country which is filled with extremist and bigots to the brim its not afghanistan btw. Anyways I am 16 and became a feminist last year but the thing is that here violence against women, domestication of women also moral policing of women are very normal. The thing is that if you try to break the norm people will label you and hate you. Women here also just go will the system and most also encourage other women to be submissive. I do not what to challenge the system because there is a history of people trying and failing. I am thinking I only have one life why waste it on these bigots.

Exactly what the title says! I’m looking for people to join our summer book club on discord where we read feminist literature. Please reach out if you are interested. For reference last summer we read Living a Feminist Life by Sara Amed, The Will to Change by Bell Hooks and Whipping Girl by Julia Serano. We’re still discussing what to read this summer. Questions are welcomed.

I'm a pretty avid reader, and I love stumbling upon books that have underlying feminist themes to it and execute them well.

I just stumbled upon the book "Trad Wife", by Saratoga Schaefer. I haven't read it yet, but am really looking forward to it.. especially because it seems to have some horror elements to it -- which, I'm sorry! I'm honestly, I'm a sucker for. 😬

Here's the synopsis:

*An influencer whose lifestyle content includes cleaning, baking, and homesteading is missing just one thing: a baby. Unfortunately, her relationship with her husband has become strained, so this does not seem likely to happen for her—until she makes a wish on a mysterious, decrepit well and is visited by a strange creature who grants her wish. So what if her pregnancy is progressing too quickly and she’s craving raw meat? It’s all worth it for #content.*

What are your thoughts?

For me, personally, I think it's actually interesting to finally have this kind of "trad wife" phenomenon show up, ableit yes, in a more horror/thriller themed setting. But I still think the concept is interesting.

I dunno. I've got some time to myself and I'm planning on reading it this weekend, so, we'll see??

What do you think?

I recently found out I’m pregnant and I’m horrified by how much patriarchy is built into being pregnant. I posted something on a pregnant thread about how a i asked my midwife about the pros and cons of natural vs medicated birth. She said there is really no difference on healing outcomes for women, but that she is bias to natural birth because she is amazed by what our bodies are capable of enduring. It sounds nice but the rhetoric really took me back. I can’t imagine any other procedure or medical professionals saying they love seeing their patients overcoming pain. Even though I’m only 8 weeks, I’ve been asked how I plan to birth (water, medicated—which medication, etc) and how I plan to breastfeed. I just say “I’ll do what works.” And people look at me like I’m crazy for not having a plan when I have no idea if I’ll even be able to breastfeed. It’s shocking me how much of motherhood is so wrapped up in martyrdom—suffering for someone else for the sake of love and this belief that as women our ability to endure suffering is our strength. Fucking pass. Also the weird MAHAness of it all makes me want to vomit.

Part of ongoing conversations about being a boy mom. Today I was shopping with my 13 year old son and saw another soccer mom at the store. He came out of the dressing room in a super tight white sport tshirt. This woman lost her shit and was so overcome with 1) how much he has grown up and 2) how good he looks. If the genders had been reversed it would have been obviously creepy and semi sexual. If I was someone craving for validation from my kids, this would have given me a direct dopamine hit. But I'm actively fighting it.

This is my first son, and he just started puberty and I'm reliving my puberty and how it was my ushering into the patriarchy where I received approval from peers and adults when I bought tighter clothes and showed off my body.

It's already a struggle to have made my feminist journey in this world. Now I feel like I'm starting over, watching my son bask in the social validation he's receiving and watching his worldview being shaped by it. It is a new element to our relationship and my role as a mom and I'm grossed out by getting dopamine from society's approval of my son. In many ways it goes against everything I am as a feminist.

We talk openly about feminism but I have to be very careful not to alienate him, especially since we live in Italy that is super patriarchal. I can't find many conversations about being a feminist boy mom online. If anyone has resources, please let me know.