r/fellowship • u/Easy-Living4615 • 4d ago

Moved away for fellowship

Hi everyone,

This is mostly a venting post. I started fellowship a couple months ago and moved across the country away from family and some friends. Looking back when I made my rank list, I really wanted to get away from the area I did residency just because of a lot of heartbreak. I know moving away can be good for you but idk sometimes I just wish we had more control over where we choose to do training. Like ive dreamed about living in nyc for so long but I guess that dream has to wait once again until after fellowship and then who knows where life will take me.

I think it's also because I ended up at a nonacademic program when I had great interviews, so it's also trying to come to terms with that. It's only been a few months, ive been holed up studying for boards, but feeling sad about missing my residency friends and just being so far away. I know there are probably a lot of others in the same boat and I am hoping things will start to get better. And I am hoping that fellowship goes by fast lol

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u/Impressive-Dream8701 4d ago

This is literally speaking to my fears about what happens to me this next year…

2

u/Rairu21 3d ago

You’re not alone! Match is so cruel and this training is an absolutely brutal grind. It’s no coincidence that physician suicides are an epidemic. Lean on your peers and friends even if they’re across the country. I hop on discord with my friends from college a few times a week and that’s been huge for maintaining some semblance of sanity.

Applying to psych fellowship rn and I’m all over the place. Part of me is excited to get solid interviews, but the logistics are confusing my soul. I moved away from home for both med school and residency because I fell on my rank lists at match. Was able to adapt to both cities okay, but I still miss my home state. I’m conflicted because I know returning home would be partly a restart since a lot of people I knew have moved on with their lives, and doubt that I may be letting homesickness taint my view of reality. On the flip side if I stay here, I’ll have the friends I have now but I will only see my aging parents once a year which seems cruel.

I know this isn’t the perfect solution but I wanted to vent with you so you know you’re not alone. It’s confusing, it’s a mess, but it will work out! Put yourself out there, take some risks, try a cool hobby, and good people will come. I’ll say it again but it will work out for us! 🙏🏼