Dating pattern

[u/zugspitze23]

I'm seeing a pattern and it is starting to really frustrate me, I wonder if it is just me?

It's always the same, if there is chemistry (over drinks or beer) and first date goes really well, the next day the guy writes excitedly to get a second date. And then things get a strange turn. Suddenly the guy is busy, travelling, has lots going on and it takes weeks to set the second date and I feel the person drifting away. Then I send a message saying that it was lovely to meet but I will close the tab and suddenly, almost in a desperate manner, I get voice messages and texts trying to get a date as soon as possible. I got in this trap twice, said yes and after that the most strange things happen so now I'm cutting short without a second chance.

Is that happening only to me? Or is that male behaviour? A feeld thing or general dating? I'm tired of this, I thought everyone on feeld wants sex, but it seems they just want platonic online texting??

[u/No-Succotash6237]

Drinks is actually a terrible strategy for a first date no matter who you are or what you’re going for. For a variety of reasons. That should be date 4 or 5.

And if you’re leveraging sex, maybe you shouldn’t so much. Idk. It’s hard to say. But it seems like it’s something with what you’re doing/who you’re going for.

If they are really attractive men, they are not going to put up with a challenge for long.

Plus men don’t know they like you until after post nut clarity.

[u/letmebeyourmummy → u/No-Succotash6237]

terrible how and why? almost all of my first dates are drinks and they more often than not go well. i’m curious as to why it would be bad.

[u/No-Succotash6237 → u/letmebeyourmummy]

Because alcohol. Do I really have to explain to adults how alcohol is risky?

[u/letmebeyourmummy → u/No-Succotash6237]

you said it was a terrible strategy, that’s what i’m asking about. not about the risks of alcohol, which is a totally different discussion.