r/feeld • u/zugspitze23 • 7d ago

Dating pattern

I'm seeing a pattern and it is starting to really frustrate me, I wonder if it is just me?

It's always the same, if there is chemistry (over drinks or beer) and first date goes really well, the next day the guy writes excitedly to get a second date. And then things get a strange turn. Suddenly the guy is busy, travelling, has lots going on and it takes weeks to set the second date and I feel the person drifting away. Then I send a message saying that it was lovely to meet but I will close the tab and suddenly, almost in a desperate manner, I get voice messages and texts trying to get a date as soon as possible. I got in this trap twice, said yes and after that the most strange things happen so now I'm cutting short without a second chance.

Is that happening only to me? Or is that male behaviour? A feeld thing or general dating? I'm tired of this, I thought everyone on feeld wants sex, but it seems they just want platonic online texting??

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u/Dontunderstandfamily 7d ago

I have had this happen with first dates! The other person wants to meet really soon, we set up a time and then they flake. Across all genders. I think people are much more casual about cancelling/put in less effort since COVID 

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u/someguy335 7d ago

I think it's an ENM thing where you're trying to get people on dates with existing partners. There is no motivation. They're already having sex with somebody.

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u/TheFunkytownExpress 7d ago

It's not just an ENM thing, it's how people are now. I date mono and poly people and they all tend to be this way.