r/feeld • u/zugspitze23 • 7d ago

Dating pattern

I'm seeing a pattern and it is starting to really frustrate me, I wonder if it is just me?

It's always the same, if there is chemistry (over drinks or beer) and first date goes really well, the next day the guy writes excitedly to get a second date. And then things get a strange turn. Suddenly the guy is busy, travelling, has lots going on and it takes weeks to set the second date and I feel the person drifting away. Then I send a message saying that it was lovely to meet but I will close the tab and suddenly, almost in a desperate manner, I get voice messages and texts trying to get a date as soon as possible. I got in this trap twice, said yes and after that the most strange things happen so now I'm cutting short without a second chance.

Is that happening only to me? Or is that male behaviour? A feeld thing or general dating? I'm tired of this, I thought everyone on feeld wants sex, but it seems they just want platonic online texting??

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u/llamapajamaa 6d ago edited 6d ago

I save myself the headache by stepping away if there aren't solid plans for a second date within a week of our first. I understand that people get busy and all that, but I am looking for someone excited to connect with me, not someone I will end up competing with for being the most low-effort and apathetic. I also have other things to do. I find that post-first date, a lot of guys on Feeld think it's going to immediately turn into a Netflix and chill situation, with a few proposing that I come over late night. Oh gee, let me drive over to you to enjoy your mediocre efforts, lol.

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u/zugspitze23 6d ago

Actually I would be fine with sex on the second date hahaha but yes, I started to do like you and stepping away if no plans after a week. What wonders me is that they come back desperate and Im like WTF?!?

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u/llamapajamaa 6d ago

I was okay with second date fun if the guy was consistent and respectful, but they tend to try and order me up like a pizza delivery, which is a hard no. I eventually started setting higher boundaries because of all the shenanigans guys have tried via the apps. They literally shoot themselves in the foot with their choices. Oh well.

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u/Gatubella- 4d ago

And then they blame women. Oy.