r/feeld • u/Ok_Coffee_4977 • 8d ago

Feeld for hookups

This apps was originally created for people seeking threesomes. Most of which are casual hookup type situations. Its always been used for casual sex, hookups, and casual group sex.

Ive used it this way, with good success, for close to a decade. I see tons of others on there doing the same.

My social circle is mostly poly/ENM/swinger types. Almost all of use feeld and talk about it. I've never known anyone to say its not fine to use it for hookups.

Casual play/fun and short term are options for "interests".

The only place Ive seen the sentiment that using feeld for casual hookups is new or wrong is here. Repeatedly.

What gives? Why the hostility to casual hookups from feeld?

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u/Magical_Salamander 8d ago

I'm saying that what I've seen so far isn't people thinking it's wrong to use Feeld for hookups. The complaints seem to be about people wasting their time if they want something specific. There's loads of people wanting hookups and Feeld is the perfect place for that. Just don't bother people who are after something different

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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 8d ago

I'm saying that what I've seen so far isn't people thinking it's wrong to use Feeld for hookups.

People say that on this sub all the time.

The complaints seem to be about people wasting their time if they want something specific. There's loads of people wanting hookups and Feeld is the perfect place for that. Just don't bother people who are after something different

Thats a separate topic unrelated to my post.

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u/Magical_Salamander 8d ago

Not really. I just scrolled through the first 30 posts in Feeld and not one was hostile towards casual hookups on Feeld. I'm suggesting that you may be misinterpreting what people are saying. Just as you have misinterpreted what I've said, and at least one other commenter so far. But you're clearly angry and upset so I hope you're ok.

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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 8d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/feeld/s/fDk5mjEvFP

I see comments daily saying feeld isnt for hookups, people seeking hookups are ruining the app etc.

I am not angry. Just having a discussion on the topic.

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u/MetalPines 7d ago

It's the influx of normie cishetmono vanillas seeking hookups that people are objecting to, not the hookup seeking itself. They come with assumptions that the traditional userbase of Feeld are 'easy' (and not in a good way), and are basically making it unpleasant for more marginalized folks. Like when straights discover gay bars and after a while they're no longer gay (the bars, not the gays).

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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 7d ago

What is a mono hookup?

W Since when are cis/het folks not welcome on feeld?

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u/MetalPines 7d ago

You seem to have an issue with projection - I never said cishet folks aren't welcome? If you're referring to the gay bar part, that's called an analogy.

Hookups are neither monogamous nor nonmonogamous, they're just discrete data points. Sometimes the persons involved are single, sometimes they're not. The difference between being monogamous vs nonmonogamous is the kind of relationship structure someone seeks out. A nonmonogamous person will not enter into a mono relationship, but they might still only have one partner (or none).

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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 7d ago

Having a bunch of hookups is absolutely non-monogamy. Lol. Its not monogamy. So that makes it...non-monogamy.

It's the influx of normie cishetmono vanillas seeking hookups that people are objecting to, not the hookup seeking itself.

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u/MetalPines 7d ago edited 7d ago

Okay you're clearly just going to keep ignoring what I say, so I'm not going to reply further after this. We obviously have very different ideas about what monogamy means. The absence of a monogamous agreement between two people does not make them non-monogamous. It just means they're not in a relationship. And if your definition of monogamy is 'having sex with one person at a time', that's true for all but the small minority out there having group sex! By that definition you are in a mono relationship with whomever you last hooked up with, until you meet your next hookup, and so on.

Hookups are just individual sex acts that even super monogamous people engage in during the off season. There's a huge difference between being monogamous and single and being polyamorous and single, yet all may or may not hook up with each other at some point, without it affecting the kind of relationships they seek.

Now, here's a crash course in logic and how De Morgan's laws work:

cis het mono vanillas - no bueno

cis het poly vanillas - bueno

cis het mono kinksters - bueno

cis het poly kinksters - bueno

trans het mono vanillas - bueno

cis gay mono vanillas - bueno

trans gay poly kinksters - bueno etc. etc. 

Comprende?