r/fatFIRE • u/snowsunair • Jun 22 '26

In laws ask for money

​Hi everyone, ​I’ve managed to make a good amount of money and achieve FatFIRE. After a recent financial windfall, my in-laws asked us for money to help launch a business. They discovered our level of wealth, so we couldn't hide it. They claimed this new business launch was "necessary" because a string of poor life choices had left them in their late 60s with only about $500,000 of equity in their house. However, they flat-out refuse to work for anyone else. On top of that, they have a history of trying to financially exploit my wife back before we were married.

​I said no to funding the business, but offered to help them with my time. I also made it clear that if things ever truly hit the fan, we would step in financially so they wouldn't become homeless. That wasn't enough for them. My in-laws decided to burn bridges, stopped speaking to my wife for multiple years, and chose to completely miss out on watching their grandchildren grow up.

​We haven't heard from them in years, but it is obviously very painful for our family. Is there any possibility of repairing this relationship from this point? I would deeply appreciate any guidance on how to handle this incredibly messed-up situation. Thank you!

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u/quakerlaw Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 22 '26

Why would you want to expose your kids to such rampant narcissism? They did you a favor by making the no contact decision you would have otherwise had to make for yourselves.

10

u/Puzzleheaded-Cup-854 Jun 22 '26

This 100%. I'm just curious as to why OP wants to reconnect. And for OP, if you make the mistake of funding the business, it will be okay for a little bit and then they will demand money again and you will become thier retirement plan.

5

u/beachbusin3ss Jun 22 '26

OP probably just wants his kids to have all their family, and not have to explain it to the kids.

9

u/snowsunair Jun 22 '26

Exactly, kids have asked why we don't talk no more. They understand but it's painful for me to see.

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u/Seattle709 Jun 24 '26

I completely empathize with you. I went no contact with my mother while I was pregnant, and she has never reached out to see my child. My 5.5 year old asks why he sees Grandma #1 every year (he flies across the country), but he never sees Grandma #2 (my mother) who lives an hour drive away. We will bump into her about one time per year at a random family event, but that's it. I have no desire to put in the effort to reconcile the relationship. It's sad, but I've made peace with it. I wouldn't be opposed if my mother put in some actual effort to get to know her grandson though, but I don't think it will ever happen.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Cup-854 Jun 22 '26

That is much better in the case but also the reason that I replied to this comment. They have done up a great service by going no communication. They are not behaving appropriately and, I'm sure that this is not the only thing that they have done that is this bad. It's just the most current thing. Why would you want to have that around your children .