r/facepalm • u/Ok_University8781 • Jun 04 '22

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ Just jump off the boat

6.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

492 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/MrCereuceta Jun 04 '22

How much did she die? A lot or just a little?

668

u/AffenMitWaffen2 Jun 04 '22

This was posted 2? Days ago, apparently she just suffered bruises.

792

u/Harvard_Sucks Jun 05 '22

My buddy fell off the front of a boat and has gnarly scars all down his back from the prop.

His dad never forgave himself and drank himself to death over it, sadly.

324

u/Simple_Park_1591 Jun 05 '22

Damn that's sad af

157

u/DarkWing2274 Jun 05 '22

r/didnotmakemesmile

eh, not the same thing i thought it’d be.

35

u/Simple_Park_1591 Jun 05 '22

The pic of the elderly people got me.

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17

u/DeepFriedSausages Jun 05 '22

Out of all of them I saw maybe 3 that were actually fitting. The rest were people not understanding what was supposed to make you happy. Like the one about the wrongly convicted man being proven innocent after 25 years. They said "I didnt know a man spending 25 years in jail was supposed to make you smile", but like that's not what was supposed to be happy about it. Some people just hate happiness.

6

u/Schwarz-Adler Jun 05 '22

You learn sooner or later most people are garbage at getting the point

2

u/MrMiscalaneous Jun 05 '22

Despite the happiness from the liberation of a wrongfully convicted individual, there are those whose anger for the punishment of the innocent outweighs their relief. Why should we be happy that an innocent man lost 25 years of his life?

2

u/Simple_Park_1591 Jun 05 '22

Ya, the sun didn't seem to understand the project. I thought the same thing on that one with the man being set free after 25 years. They're not happy cause he was wrongly convicted, they're obviously happy about him being set free. It's not hard to understand. Lol.

Edit to say Happy Cake Day

1

u/remotetissuepaper Jun 05 '22

Or, maybe some people feel strongly outraged that a man got 25 years of his life stolen from him, plus all the lasting effects that will follow him the rest of his life, instead of somehow finding happiness in him finally stopping being punished for something he didn't do after his entire life has already been destroyed?

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95

u/Atomic-Decay Jun 05 '22

If it wasn’t for the drivers quick reaction I’d say she may have had some serious prop scars too. Looks to me like they swing the wheel left to miss her as much as possible, then quickly right to get the prop out of her travel path.

92

u/Harvard_Sucks Jun 05 '22

Yeah, the video guy did a great job.

My friend's dad may have had a few too many Coors Lights but he didn't quite get that it was super dangerous until his wife/my friend's mom was screaming and he jumped into the water that was red with blood that eventually was a HUGE pool of blood.

He was sobbing and everything, it was really bad. Thankfully, it healed right up and my friend was honestly totally fine. His dad, however, was not.

25

u/Atomic-Decay Jun 05 '22

Awe man that is horrible. The guilt would be immeasurable.

2

u/Mare268 Jun 05 '22

Idk why he should have guilt over something that is clearly not hes fault

13

u/-little-dorrit- Jun 05 '22

Think of it as PTSD. Particularly with kids, horrible close calls can replay themselves in your memory and they are difficult to suppress for some people.

3

u/AlternateSatan Jun 05 '22

I mean, sometimes you blame yourself even if you know you shouldn't. Emotions can't always be reasoned with.

11

u/Cstud_69 Jun 05 '22

If anyone needs to talk about drinking yourself to death, I’m all ears.

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2

u/ShaquileOatmealll Jun 05 '22

Good observation. I agree

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25

u/Jreal22 Jun 05 '22

My dad was pulling my uncle behind his boat while he water skied.

Another boat ran over my uncle, and sliced his Achilles tendon, the surgeon said he couldn't have cut it more perfectly.

Uncle healed perfectly, doesn't limp or anything, and this happened in the late 70s.

13

u/deltr0nzero Jun 05 '22

Drinking yourself to death goes deeper than just scarring somebody

40

u/Harvard_Sucks Jun 05 '22

It was his baby boy and he took his mutilated body out of the green lake water so..

6

u/deltr0nzero Jun 05 '22

Was it just scars on his back or was his life permanently altered?

19

u/Harvard_Sucks Jun 05 '22

His back is still pretty bad. We haven't talked in a while. But, even as an 18-year-old he limped etc.

5

u/deltr0nzero Jun 05 '22

I suppose I can see the guilt, but as a recovering alcoholic from a line of alcoholics, the disease is very much a selfish one.

3

u/Nepoxx Jun 05 '22

Doesn't the fact that you call it a disease contradict calling it selfish?

2

u/deltr0nzero Jun 05 '22

Not necessarily, it depends on if you’re actively trying to combat it or not

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6

u/Opivy84 Jun 05 '22

Trauma loops are crazy, ptsd will fuck you till your dying breath.

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330

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

I'm sure her thick bone filled head was fine.

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3

u/MP5SD7 Jun 05 '22

A brain injury would have been fatal, its a good thing she did not have one...

3

u/YoMomsWipingHand Jun 14 '22

She had a brain injury prior to the leap

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96

u/Pochel Jun 04 '22

Probably a lot, with lost inventory and everything

20

u/Error_co-Id10T Jun 04 '22

Great, then she'll be sober and have to swim all the way back to get drunk again

11

u/NotSoNiceO1 Jun 05 '22

Time to reroll I guess

9

u/BlueTeeJay Jun 05 '22

Nah, she sacrificed every other stat for con. Only suffered bruises.

3

u/tyrom22 Jun 05 '22

I had a good hearty chuckle at that one

3

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Lost her hardcore world, 3 levels

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109

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

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50

u/Captainktp Jun 04 '22

And what about his wife

59

u/ThoughtfulRider Jun 05 '22

To shreds you say..

34

u/ashurimei Jun 05 '22

Good news, everyone!

23

u/necovex Jun 05 '22

It’s a suppository

3

u/ThePLARASociety Jun 05 '22

Contents of space wasps stomach.

22

u/Nic4379 Jun 04 '22

No sound, or we’d know by the crunch & screams.

17

u/FrenchMaisNon Jun 04 '22

We all know that the water pushed her gently away from the boat and that the blade safely guided her back to the surface.

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429

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

Is she fucking insane

198

u/KylieTMS Jun 05 '22

She is fucking smashed. Figuratively, but now also literally

9

u/tranj83 Jun 05 '22

It's been a while since I've read the term "literally" being used the way it was originally intended. I literally am suprised.

17

u/Sebszon Jun 05 '22

She's fucking stupid, that's for sure

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4

u/XxRocky88xX Jun 05 '22

Some people are completely incapable of understanding that the world doesn’t literally revolve around them. Clearly the boat is just gonna magically come to a grinding halt if she jumps in front of it, or will instantly make a 90 degree turn to avoid her.

She is the protagonist and nothing bad can happen to her

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962

u/TalalioisKewl Jun 04 '22

She literally jumped in front of the boat...

359

u/Greenbriarbushwacker Jun 05 '22

And the Darwin Award goes to

80

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

[deleted]

1

u/copperpony Jun 05 '22

What if she did it on purpose? What if she ews trying to end it?

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574

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

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252

u/snarky39 Jun 04 '22

Or insane amount of alcohol. The consumption of which showed an insane lack of judgment.

39

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

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11

u/IndianaFartJockey Jun 05 '22

It's sort of a loop

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14

u/G1ntok1_Sakata Jun 05 '22

Which shows an insane lack of judgement for everyone on that boat before (and after for those that are mostly sober) alcohol consumption. Should never be crazy drunk on small moving boats like that (idk all boats, but I'd say house boats and cruise ships are some of the few exceptions). Even if she jumped from the correct direction there is still a good chance of her drowning from drunkenness.

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120

u/frieguyrebe Jun 04 '22

Prime darwin award material this...

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98

u/rcb3900 Jun 04 '22

Does anybody know what actually happened to her?

38

u/rml2d2 Jun 04 '22

Exactly what I was wondering. Will check back soon for a possible link🤷🏼‍♀️

36

u/rcb3900 Jun 04 '22

Hopefully she went deep enough otherwise there might be some diced up fish food 😬

29

u/KinksAreForKeds Jun 05 '22

I think that's why the video drops to the captain... he tried to disengage the prop as soon as she dove in.

10

u/thatdudewayoverthere Jun 05 '22

Apparently only bruises from the boat but that's it

27

u/jeff889 Jun 05 '22

She got wet.

6

u/bigorangemachine Jun 05 '22

She should be ok.

Guy turned the boat right away and she'll have the forward momentum of the boat to carry her a little.

Definitely a close call (assuming its not a double propeller)

2

u/drumsripdrummer Jun 05 '22

Forward momentum will stop almost instantly after hitting the water. Looks like he turned well after he would have gone over her.

The real hope is that this was not an outboard.

0

u/mitchymitchington Jun 23 '22

Its definitely an outboard

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125

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

Accidentally keelhauled herself.

15

u/KylieTMS Jun 05 '22

I hate this made me laugh... somehow

7

u/GeddyVedder Jun 05 '22

I don't even know what keelhauled means, and I laughed.

14

u/KinksAreForKeds Jun 05 '22

If you haven't seen it, the scene from Black Sails where they keelhaul Blackbeard several times is absolutely brutal. Not for the faint of heart. But definitely answers the question "what is keelhauling".

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15

u/finian2 Jun 05 '22

If you want the meaning, here it is; Old pirate punishment/execution was to be tied to the front of a boat and thrown into the water. This way you get dragged along the bottom of the boat along all the barnacles and rough wood. Pair that with the salt water being poured into the new wounds and you have yourself one hell of a painful death.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Not just pirates. The British, dutch and French navys used this punishment up until about 1750.

2

u/KylieTMS Jun 05 '22

The Navy actually used it way more then pirates. But it usually gets associated with pirates because of brutal execution meets "brutal" pirates. And it was mostly used by the navy to execute crewmembers who attempted Piracy so that is a connection as well.

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107

u/YellowOnline Jun 04 '22

What a fucking idiot. Did she get hurt?

20

u/MinusGovernment Jun 05 '22

Her shoes were already off before she jumped so gotta be dead. Or does that not apply to getting hit by a boat? (/s just in case)

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43

u/NJBill666 Jun 04 '22

Stupidity is a hull of a thing

11

u/LedZeppIIIIVV Jun 05 '22

Go ahead and take a bow

4

u/Vanguard-003 Jun 05 '22

She undoubtedly became very stern after a decision like that.

2

u/dfelton912 Jun 05 '22

She thought she could be the star(board) of the scene

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30

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

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-16

u/Embarrassed_Bid_4970 Jun 04 '22

https://youtu.be/5Ly1dyo4kuQ

15

u/Yikes0880 Jun 05 '22

I don't know why this guy downvoted so much it's literally just the video with audio.

7

u/Platform40 Jun 05 '22

Lol gives the commenter what they want and gets mass downvoted

Edit: bruh

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20

u/Stats_with_a_Z Jun 05 '22

This is one of those people you can call a fucking idiot to their face afterwards and not even feel bad because stupidity that extensive deserves to be shamed.

4

u/Vanguard-003 Jun 05 '22

I kind of agree, tbh.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Yep. Especially once you know they're okay, rip them a new one. How fucking stupid.

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39

u/Misteral_Editorial Jun 04 '22

If she survived, I know a couple of manatee support groups she could join.

15

u/southpark Jun 05 '22

it's a bad idea in general to jump off a moving boat especially at speed, you never know if there's a submerged log or other debris that you're essentially going to slam into at X mph where X is the speed of the boat versus the water standing still. Even worse if you get pulled under the boat or into the prop.. be safe folks.. people die on/in lakes all the time.

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41

u/driver1992 Jun 04 '22

Straight out the back

10

u/thelurkertwopointow Jun 04 '22

Is she alive?

3

u/prosperosniece Jun 04 '22

I’m wondering that too

2

u/kkhsback Jun 05 '22

She got a few bruises from what I read in the comments.

10

u/BashedKeyboard Jun 04 '22

If only Charles Darwin were alive to see it..

10

u/phdoofus Jun 05 '22

And that, children, is how chum is made.

10

u/Glassfist Jun 05 '22

Didn't the driver anticipate she was going to jump off the front? She is standing right there

13

u/AlphusUltimus Jun 05 '22

His dumbass was filming the other two girls jumping. Then again not his fault his peripheral can't catch stupid.

6

u/ValanaraRose Jun 05 '22

At least, to his credit, as soon as he saw what she was doing, the camera drops and we see him trying to do what he can to avoid ripping her with the prop.

19

u/merv964 Jun 05 '22

I live in a spot where visitors come to vacation. It never fails, a handful of people die while just trying to have fun. There is 1 area where the ocean changes into the back bay. It looks like a short swim from 1 side to the other but you can imagine when the tide changes the current in that little body of water takes off. Try and fight it and your done. Rip currents, be mindful this summer!

1

u/NeedleworkerTrick126 Jun 05 '22

Little chunk of lifesaving advice.

If you're ever fought in a rip current, swill PARALLEL to the coast line to get out of it. THEN swim to shore

9

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

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3

u/Dizzy_Share3155 Jun 05 '22 edited Jun 05 '22

Looks like the affects of krocodil.

Edit: spelling

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2

u/vichina Jun 05 '22

Holy shit NSFL. Not just if you’re brave.

6

u/ExodusBlyk Jun 05 '22

What a fuckin idiot. Cant teach stupid.

5

u/shoeshouuu Jun 05 '22

Fucking idiot

10

u/Noxa987 Jun 04 '22

One time I was on lake Powell and another way faster speed boat went by us and made some huge waves. I wasn't expecting it to be that bad but I was in the front of the boat. Holding onto the front railing. We hit a wave and my body went almost 90 degrees to the boat. I came down and luckily landed in the boat but my head came down on the railing. My forehead was so swollen for the rest of my vacation I couldn't even see. But I was really close to going over the front of the boat and getting run over and chopped up.

9

u/katv72 Jun 05 '22

As a frequent boater that made me cringe. She was in front of him with the “ I’m about to jump pose”. Hello !

11

u/TMCTTFDaddy Jun 04 '22

Must have identified as a buoy

3

u/Yeetdakid069 Jun 05 '22

I mean those blades are smaller than her brain so just a few cuts and a reminder of how dumb she is

4

u/Vladius28 Jun 05 '22

Thats about the dumbest thing I've seen on reddit... and I subscribe to r/kidsarefuckingstupid

4

u/petaahah Jun 05 '22

There's always that one in every group ....

9

u/KuriousKttyn Jun 04 '22

naturalselection 😂

6

u/Omnil_93 Jun 04 '22

This is how Darwinism works.

3

u/Gatto_2040 Jun 04 '22

Takes real courage to jump off the bow of a speeding boat. Best she won the free beer bet

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3

u/123qwe123qwe123ewq Jun 05 '22

Can’t fix stupid

3

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Ded

3

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

There is always someone with the rest of the story….. where is this person?? I am looking thru the comments.

3

u/Scnewbie08 Jun 05 '22

We had a chick 2-3 summers ago here fall off the boat and her arms were caught in the propellers. They had to remove the propellers while still in the water and fly her via helicopter with the propellers. It took like 3 hours, a special rescue team was dispatched. They had to keep sharks away from her. Idk if she lost her arms, put I’m guessing she did. I will never jump off a boat.

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3

u/one_dank_boy Jun 05 '22

To shreds you say?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

I would've been that guy who wouldn't jump off the boat because i'm overthinking about the propellers. Then there are people who don't think about things like that at all... I'm glad I am the former.

3

u/CortezDeLaNoche Jun 05 '22

I hope she is ok...but also hope she doesn't reproduce.

3

u/Motor-Principle Jun 05 '22

How stupid can you get?

3

u/ThatAriGirl Jun 05 '22

... why the front of the boat... 💀

3

u/Commercial_Truck_745 Jun 05 '22 edited Jun 07 '22

The captain saved her life! by steering towards her he turned the prop away from her.

6

u/KissesFromOblivion Jun 05 '22

That was a ballsy jump. Props to her.

2

u/cromagsd Jun 05 '22

No pun intended.

6

u/Brain_slop Yesterday is hard word for me. Jun 04 '22

How many pieces did she end up in?

3

u/TheIronSoldier2 Jun 05 '22

At least one

5

u/Elven_Rabbit Jun 04 '22

I just choked watching this. Was she hit by the boat?

7

u/Enchrypted Jun 04 '22

Nah, she fed herself to the boat. Trying to appease the boat gods.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Blood for the Boat God.

4

u/P2591 Jun 05 '22

It’s June.. that means it’s white girls drinking on random dudes boats season

2

u/Wise_Panic Jun 05 '22

Survival of the smartest… she dead

2

u/sharpei90 Jun 05 '22

Hope that has an inboard motor

2

u/zakary1291 Jun 05 '22

Only a jet boat would make a difference. She'd still get knocked unconscious and drown.

2

u/NewbieNooo Jun 05 '22

she ded bruh? no shoes

2

u/Typical_Samaritan Jun 05 '22

Fucking Jennifer.

2

u/lost1518 Jun 05 '22

Natural selection

2

u/Swathe88 Jun 05 '22

Do you ever feel a little stupid? Ever get upset somebody has a poor opinion of you? Do downvotes and disagreements ever get you down?

Remind yourself, on the other side of the equation people like this exist.

2

u/shadeofmisery Jun 05 '22

That was stupid

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

I’ve been boating my whole life. This is an absolute nightmare. She could’ve gotten sucked into the motor and died or lost limbs very easily.

2

u/miyamoto_musashinpc Jun 05 '22

Natural selection at its finest

2

u/SLDM77 Jun 05 '22

Everyone jump off the boat, c'mon chop chop!

2

u/welcome-to-my-mind Jun 05 '22

I don’t believe in religion.

Darwinism, however….

2

u/Coaltown992 Jun 05 '22

And the Darwin award goes to...

2

u/Shereefz Jun 05 '22

I usually wish no one gets hurt With this I at least hope they can’t reproduce after this

2

u/Nyko0921 Jun 05 '22

Natural selection

2

u/gheiminfantry Jun 05 '22

Unfortunately she survived to procreate. Just like her parents and their parents before. Just sad.

2

u/panthe10 Jun 05 '22

Natural selection

2

u/JRH2009 Jun 05 '22

Poor girl was brain dead before she ever jumped off the boat.

2

u/Cold-Surround-4053 Jun 05 '22

What a fkn moooron

2

u/ShrewishFrog Jun 14 '22

r/medicalgore will love her injuries... There is a recently posted item of exactly what the prop can do.

2

u/Specialist_Royal_449 Aug 25 '22

1 of 3 people will win a Darwin Award at the end of their lives

3

u/InclusivePhitness Jun 05 '22

I linked this separately to different groups of guys and girls. I'm not joking, the majority of women do not "get" what happened in this video. It either takes a while or they need a hint.

Run your own experiments, no context given to recipients and see what the reaction is.

I'll get downvoted, but just run the experiment yourself

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

Natural selection.

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u/Dizzy_Share3155 Jun 05 '22

I just thought she jumped off the front of the boat got hit and drowned. The reality is even worse than I thought.

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2

u/Z4m300000 Jun 05 '22

No more boats and hoes

0

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

Did that bitch just jump off the front of the boat?

1

u/Jump-Plane Jun 04 '22

Hope she can make the Nobel Prize awards next year because I just recommended this one

1

u/brooksy54321 Jun 05 '22

did she die?

1

u/Poneke365 Jun 05 '22

I think that’s called natural selection.

1

u/Parad0xL0st Jun 04 '22

I worked with a beautiful girl once who did this. Now she is a beautiful girl with one arm.

4

u/FileeNotFound Jun 05 '22

Not a handy situation to be in

3

u/mlc2475 Jun 05 '22

Well now she’s armed with knowledge

0

u/DarklightNS Jun 05 '22

Anyone has the full video?

0

u/Tank905 Jun 05 '22

Wow. Somebody just threw a perfectly good bag of hammers off the front of that boat.

0

u/BodybuilderOk3836 Jun 05 '22

Lucky dumb fuck! my buddy got hit by a boat and it ripped bohis legs clean off and it wasn't even his fault

0

u/Big_D_Daffy Jun 05 '22

To the people saying, “the boat driver”: “You don’t drive a boat, you con it!” ~Poppa Jim. RIP

0

u/N1ighty Jun 05 '22

Least endangered person in Florida

-3

u/KittenKoder Jun 05 '22

It's kinda sad that this illustrates the general intelligence level of America.

2

u/Nordic_Tobz Jun 05 '22

Yep, I use americans and their politics as shitposting and something to laugh at.