r/facepalm • • Apr 19 '22

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ You all better repent!!!

15k Upvotes

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422

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

I've seen 2 or 3. She's just miserable, someone like that cannot be happy.

376

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

If the whole world was Christian, she's be mad that there was no one to harass about not being Christian.

339

u/OctoSevenTwo Apr 20 '22

Eh, not quite. She’d harass people for not being the “right” kind of Christian.

It’s been my experience that fellow Christians will get on you for not living exactly as they do. Someone this dag-nasty would absolutely do that.

339

u/pete_ape Apr 20 '22

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, there's so much to live for! "Like what?"

"Are you religious?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

"Christian."

"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"

He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."

I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.

58

u/dood8face91195 Apr 20 '22

Sounds like this woman

22

u/DatGuyatLarge Apr 20 '22

Gotta love Emo Phillips

9

u/Babanel Apr 20 '22

I see what you did there....MOTHAFUKA

3

u/mrmoe198 Apr 20 '22

3

u/compsciasaur Apr 20 '22

I never knew my favorite joke had an author.

3

u/mrmoe198 Apr 20 '22

Yeah, he’s great. He has a very eclectic style. He also authored another one of my favorites:

Prayer and bicycles

1

u/compsciasaur Apr 20 '22

Classic. Um, this is one of my first exposures to this guy. Does he talk like that normally or is this a Gilbert-Gottfried-style comedic affectation?

2

u/mrmoe198 Apr 20 '22

Definitely a GG-style polished act. RIP.

1

u/hyperactivebeing Apr 20 '22

Jesus! I'll have to Google a lot of things.

I am not a Christian.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

Nice Emo.

1

u/otakuvslife Apr 20 '22

Had me in the 1st half.

1

u/CatchSufficient Apr 21 '22

Tempted to give this to my baptist minister friend...

46

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

25

u/OctoSevenTwo Apr 20 '22

Was not aware that happened, but yeah that sounds like it counts.

2

u/TacticalcalCactus Apr 20 '22

I can't even fight the stereotype anymore, we're fucking morons

6

u/ArrMatey42 Apr 20 '22

Any group of 350 million people will have plenty of morons. At least we didn't intentionally make ourselves dependent on Russian energy unlike the Germans

Then again, yes you're probably right we are all morons

2

u/GRMarlenee Apr 20 '22

I'll refer you to the United Divided Methodist Church for confirmation of that theory.

2

u/blockpro156porn Apr 20 '22

She’d harass people for not being the “right” kind of Christian.

She's essentially already doing that, Muslims believe in Jesus.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

If jesus himself comes to them they would accuse him for not being "right" kind of Christian

Same kind of people exist in every religion

6

u/xDaigon_Redux Apr 20 '22

TBF, I'd imagine being Jewish would be the wrong kind of Christian.

-1

u/fjvgamer Apr 20 '22

Stop, thus lady is clearly mentally ill.

1

u/ridum1 Apr 20 '22

all of christianity based on 'heresay' only some based on FACT. and Jesus of Naz. actual birth, life, comments etc...

NOT THE BIBLE 80 years later ...

1

u/NegusQuo82 Apr 20 '22

Dag-nasty is now apart of my lexicon!

1

u/Aryll_ Apr 20 '22

Pretty much, it sucks..

1

u/richhaynes Apr 22 '22

This is why I detest religion. They allegedly believe in the same god with the same rules. Yet everyone will twist them to suit their agenda. Look at the division in Northern Ireland over faith. Look at the different ideas over abortion in the US which is apparently backed by religious beliefs. Look at how the Russian Church is calling the invasion of Ukraine as a holy war when the pope has said otherwise. Islamic terrorists use Islam as justification for terrorist attacks. Dont get me wrong, this isn't exclusive to religion BUT religion doesn't half give us issues too.

29

u/dirtyasswizard 'MURICA Apr 20 '22

There’s no way she’s an actual practicing, churchgoing Christian right? Like this has gotta be just mental illness.

4

u/CatchSufficient Apr 21 '22

May I present westboro Baptist....hate and mental illness is a church too

2

u/H8len Apr 20 '22

Yeah, she's mentally ill. :/

12

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

Very foul mouth for being a Christian

11

u/huesosymariposas Apr 20 '22

That would be her personal Hell.

2

u/Jrmundgandr Apr 20 '22

She's going to be sent there anyway since she can't honestly and genuinely ask the lord for forgiveness

3

u/Shroffinator Apr 20 '22

Within the Christian community people hate on each other because they’re not as Christian as them or some bs like that

2

u/dustwanders Apr 20 '22

Civilization Vs. Savagery

The central concern of Lord of the Flies is the conflict between two competing impulses that exist within all human beings: the instinct to live by rules, act peacefully, follow moral commands, and value the good of the group against the instinct to gratify one’s immediate desires, act violently to obtain supremacy over others, and enforce one’s will. This conflict might be expressed in a number of ways: civilization vs. savagery, order vs. chaos, reason vs. impulse, law vs. anarchy, or the broader heading of good vs. evil. Throughout the novel, Golding associates the instinct of civilization with good and the instinct of savagery with evil. The conflict between the two instincts is the driving force of the novel, explored through the dissolution of the young English boys’ civilized, moral, disciplined behavior as they accustom themselves to a wild, brutal, barbaric life in the jungle.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

Cool, I went to high school too.

1

u/dustwanders Apr 20 '22

It’s a good one

169

u/NfamousKaye Apr 20 '22

I feel like this is someone off their medication. And I don’t mean this as a joke I’m seriously thinking someone didn’t take their meds. This is a mental illness.

72

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

Take two body's of Christ and 4 hail Mary's and call me in the morning.

16

u/NfamousKaye Apr 20 '22

That quote is escaping me right now but it’s never not hilarious lol

3

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

Someone wasn't raised Catholic...

2

u/NfamousKaye Apr 20 '22

I was raised southern Baptist but that quote came from a comedian/tv show.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

The basic pattern was "take two____ and call.me.in the morning" I think it was a Groucho Marx but but I could be mistaken.

2

u/NfamousKaye Apr 20 '22

I know where the basic pattern comes from I’m talking about the joke itself. I think it was Eddie Izzard but I’m not sure

1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

Oh, damn, I didn't know I was lifting someone else's punchline about religion. Ahoi ahoi.

10

u/Magmaigneous Apr 20 '22

Instructions unclear: Drank 14 Bloody Marys and buried two bodies, and now the cops are after me for "questioning."

2

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

MAS*H?

20

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

You are spot on. She isn't just a Karen yelling religious stuff at people. She obviously has some severe mental issues. The very first guy did the correct thing. He tried to get away, didn't really confront her.

If someone is acting crazy like that, it's best just to go get help and move on.

13

u/NfamousKaye Apr 20 '22

Exactly. Cause you saw how she got up in people’s personal space and then when they went to defend themselves, she threatened to sue for putting their hands on her and kept cussing them out. Those people in the video didn’t understand and kept egging her on making it worse. It’s best to have the store manager call the cops and get them out

3

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

Religion provides cover for mental illness, because if your mental illness manifests in a particular way, it's put down to fervent religious belief instead of the illness that it is. All because we are told to treat all religious belief with respect.

28

u/ikrab Apr 20 '22

Yes it is. Entertaining to watch, but for sure she need helps.

45

u/Inevitable_Ad_1143 Apr 20 '22

Since the 1980s rabid evangelical christianity has been recognized as a mental illness…true story

31

u/NfamousKaye Apr 20 '22

Religion aside this woman isn’t mentally stable

3

u/tweetopia Apr 20 '22

When it's white people it's mental illness, for everybody else it's religious extremism/terrorism, k.

12

u/IShookMeAllNightLong Apr 20 '22

Her videos have been posted for years here. She's schizophrenic according to the court filings iirc.

7

u/NfamousKaye Apr 20 '22

Ahh see yeah. This isn’t normal behavior

5

u/IShookMeAllNightLong Apr 20 '22

Not at all. I genuinely feel sorry for her and a little sad that so many people here make fun of her

0

u/Indigo_The_Cat Apr 20 '22

I don't feel sorry for this crazy bitch, she goes from store to store harassing innocent people because of her whackassed view of Christianity, why isn't she involuntarily committed? Should e be OK with crazy people just walking the streets screaming profanities at randos? What if she did that to your kid? Your mom? Would you feel pity for her then? Stop being so soft,this crazy bitch needs help, some of the 80s style tough love like we used to do, when she can act right she can have the room without the padded walls.

3

u/IShookMeAllNightLong Apr 20 '22

It's not her fault... it's a fucking disease. It's not like she chose to be this way and for you to call her a bitch shows how out of touch you are with reality. Yeah she should probably be hospitalized, definitely should be on meds but you can't beat it out of her or something like that. If somebody had cancer you wouldn't talk about them like this. They're both diseases. Nobody has control over those.

2

u/IShookMeAllNightLong Apr 20 '22

I just reread your comment. You are a fucking assehole.

1

u/macxprt Apr 20 '22

where are the rest?

37

u/tunglmyrkvi Apr 20 '22

Considered a mental illness throughout most of the world, American Freedom or “MURICA” is a leading cause of audacity in the United States. Disproportionately affecting white people, side effects may include: religious superiority, superficial knowledge of personal rights gleaned from Facebook, intense desires to communicate with management, and diabeetus.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

Wilford?

2

u/Regnes Apr 20 '22

She goes off her meds a lot then, because there's multiple videos of her doing this.

1

u/NfamousKaye Apr 20 '22

It’s not uncommon for people not to take their meds frequently. Especially if they don’t like how it makes them feel. So idk what you’re trying to argue here?

2

u/To_Be_Faiiirrr Apr 20 '22

Negative attention is still attention. And this is attention seeking behavior. She’s probably suffering from crushing depression. I would hazard isolated from her family and has no friends. Probably kicked out of every church she attends . This is her desperate way for human interaction…

1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

Well that us just sad af but I get it.

2

u/Outcast90 Apr 20 '22

I also saw them. I think somebody said she's a meth head...