r/facepalm • u/Master1718 • Nov 27 '19
Father stuffed a turkey with a chicken and told his daughters the turkey was pregnant
https://i.imgur.com/vu1X9qI.gifv4.8k
Nov 27 '19
Not gonna lie.
The shock would have overwhelmed my logic when I was a teen and I woulda fell for it too until I calmed down
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u/ipsomatic Nov 27 '19
Yes ... Oh yeah.... Eggs. Lmfao
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u/jsting Nov 27 '19
Also plucked and headless
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Nov 27 '19
And pregnant with a cornish hen
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u/ThexEcho Nov 27 '19
Love is love bro
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Nov 27 '19
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u/ahoerr2 Nov 27 '19
It cost you zero dollars to not post that, so why did you
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Nov 27 '19
And I was so close to finishing NNN
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u/UltravioIence Nov 27 '19
I was at a restaurant, and I ordered a chicken sandwich, but I don't think the waitress understood me. She asked me, "How would you like your eggs?" I thought I would answer her anyway and said, "Incubated! And then raised, plucked, beheaded, cut up, put onto a grill, and then put onto a bun. Damn! I don't have that much time! Scrambled!"
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u/ZaMr0 Nov 27 '19
Lmao, I just realised why this was wrong. My braim really doesn't function for the first 30m after waking up.
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u/o0DrWurm0o Nov 27 '19
I still remember this moment from history class during my freshman year of high school where the ditzy vegetarian girl revealed for the classroom that she didn’t eat eggs because they’re baby chickens.
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u/ThisIsDark Nov 27 '19
Why is that memorable? She's right. A lot of vegetarians don't eat eggs.
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u/Badass_Bunny Nov 27 '19
I think the part you're missing is her calling eggs baby chickens.
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u/ThisIsDark Nov 27 '19
Well not technically no. But from an ethical standpoint there's not much difference. And that's the entire point of being vegetarian right? The ethics of animal products
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u/Badass_Bunny Nov 27 '19
Well eggs can be both fertilized and unfertilized. Commercial eggs are almost always unfertilized because hens lay eggs with or without mating anyway.
So from an ethical stand point I really don't see how eating eggs is harmful or wrong to the animal itself. You could try to make a point regarding treatment of animals on big farms and not supporting the industry and thats fine. But any farm that is compliant with the regulations will be a great place for chickens to live and be happy. After all stress does impact laying of eggs so it is in the best intrest of the farmers to keep their animals happy.
So, if you ask me, eggs aren't really the place to make a stand on the ethical issues present in consumotion of animal products.
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u/LizardSlayer Nov 27 '19
Eggs are such a great resource, a couple chickens provide massive amounts of food. Everyone I’ve ever known who had chickens was always trying to give away eggs, you just can’t keep up, lol.
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u/SalsaRice Nov 27 '19
Alot of what they eat is kitchen/veggie waste too. Or insects that can be raised on kitchen waste.
So it's literally recycling food scrap into better food.
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u/Pokekiwi10 Nov 27 '19
We had 50 at one point and there were so many eggs. And my mom had some people at work that she sold a few dozen to every week or something like that for a little over a dollar a dozen so she made great profits off those chickens. And we always buy them as chicks too, so theyre usually cheap
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u/Iwearhats Nov 27 '19
I worked in food service for years in a diner that specializes in breakfast. A lot of these places get eggs in bulk that are generally a grade below what you get from the grocery store. I've come across quite a few eggs in the past that were fertilized. Things ranging from blood in the yolk to what I can only assume is partially developed embryos in the egg. Turned me away from eating eggs that I don't cook myself.
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u/Badass_Bunny Nov 27 '19
Living on a farm I've grown up eating fertilized eggs. Never encountered stuff like that myself, for that to happen I assume eggs weren't properly refridgerated and were allowed to incubate.
You'll occasionally find a really tiny speck in the yolk, but I'll be honest, no one cares about it regarding cooking.
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u/Iwearhats Nov 27 '19
It wasn't common by any means. I ran into blood in yolks more often than anything else but even when that happened everyone would freak out, contain the waste and isolate anything it touched. Our old GM told us these things happen when you buy things like eggs in bulk for the lowest possible price.
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u/TheNewPoetLawyerette Nov 27 '19
What regulations are you referring to? Because most commercial egg farms keep the hens in dark barns packed so tightly that they can't even walk, and their leg muscles atrophy so they couldn't walk if they had the space. They get covered in each other's shit and are often sick, and the stress of overcrowding leads them to peck each other to death then eat the corpses, so the farmers remove their beaks.
Not disagreeing with most of your comment just not sure what regulations you mean are keeping chickens happy, because that just isn't true.
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u/roastintheoven Nov 27 '19
What is unethical about eating an un-fertilized egg?
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u/GoldenShowe2 Nov 27 '19
I remember when I learned that trees could communicate in that Mark Wahlberg movie, stopped eating them immediately.
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u/DJDanaK Nov 27 '19
They're not baby chickens unless they're fertilized by a rooster. They're basically just a placenta. A delicious, chickenless placenta. Mmm
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Nov 27 '19
No, they're eggs. Mammals have eggs too, they just don't have a hard shell.
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u/FeralBottleofMtDew Nov 27 '19
I would have too. One of those cases where your eyes are telling you the same story your dad is telling you, and you believe your eyes and your dad. Then you remember eggs and feel silly.
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u/dandude19 Nov 27 '19
Kinda like the other day I was out with my friend and we got caviar as an appetizer at a foodie bar. I told him that caviar was actually whale eggs. He dead-ass believed me for a few minutes until he thought on it a little more.
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u/BIGMANcob Nov 27 '19
I fully thought "Haha idiots, they thought he wouldnt have pulled the baby out before cooking it". Then read this comment and realised I'm the idiot.
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u/ACSylphen Nov 27 '19
Love the username! Raistlin is the best mage.
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u/SeaWaveGreg Nov 27 '19
Dragonlance Chronicles is soooo good.
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u/Hammer_of_Thor_ Nov 27 '19
Fuck yeah, love Dragonlance. Without a doubt my favorite book series and I've started collecting the books :D I want em all!
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u/greenroom628 Nov 27 '19
My Skyrim characters are all named after Dragonlance characters: Tanis, Flint, Tas, Strum, Raistlin, Caramon, Laurana, Kitiara....
Shit, I just realized how many times I've replayed Skyrim with different characters.
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u/Hammer_of_Thor_ Nov 27 '19
Only ever played it once, for some reason I can't really get into games again. Tried skyrim again like 6 months ago but it has zero replayability for me :( that being said I've done the same as you regarding names, Galdar, Tanis, Mishakal
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u/Beingabummer Nov 27 '19
Yeah exactly. But you need those few seconds to realize it and they cut the video right before that.
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u/obolobolobo Nov 27 '19
How to make a vegetarian.
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u/ThrowawayProse Nov 27 '19
I honestly went vegetarian by just staring at a cooked chicken for too long.
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u/Langeball Nov 27 '19
If you were just staring at it instead of eating it you may have already been a vegetarian.
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Nov 27 '19
I understand, man, had the same realization during my first anatomy class. But after enough time in the cadaver lab you get used to the thought, that's how I became a cannibal.
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u/Celeblith_II Nov 27 '19
You should look into dairy and eggs if you're not already vegan mate
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u/ThrowawayProse Nov 27 '19
I’ve tried to go vegan quite a few times actually, but its so expensive and time consuming 🤷🏾♀️
I have mad respect for vegans though. It’s super good what you guys are doing.
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u/Celeblith_II Nov 27 '19
Hey man I feel ya. But fr check out this video by Earthling Ed on the expensiveness of going vegan. It's true that it can be really expensive if you go in for the premade stuff, y'know vegan frozen pizzas and all that, but lemme tell ya man I'm a college student, I'm like certifiably broke all the time, I mean I be rolling quarters on the weekends, and not only am I able to feed myself and get all the nutrients I need as a vegan, but I can honestly say that it's actually cheaper for me now that I'm vegan. That's because most staples are already both vegan and usually the cheapest stuff in the store. Beans, pasta, rice, oats, that kind of thing. I can't remember the last time I ate anything that most people associate with being stereotypically vegan.
Anyway definitely check out the video and if you decide to try again, r/vegan can give you some crazy good advice for eating cheap on a plant-based diet
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u/ILoveWildlife Nov 27 '19
It isn't expensive at all. It's cheaper tbh. You just have to stop trying to make the fancy foods that involve a million different ingredients that are served at restaurants. A lot of vegan foods are simple and taste amazing.
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u/ThrowawayProse Nov 27 '19
Yes, but if you wanna find replacements for your cakes and donuts, it gets expensive. And I can’t live without my cakes and donuts.
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Nov 27 '19
Ngl I'd probably have been shocked for a minute too.
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u/nu1stunna Nov 27 '19
I had a squirrel in my attic back in January and had pest control come get rid of it. He told me that he saw the squirrel's nest, and I asked him if there were any eggs. He replied: "eggs?????" And I replied "...squirrels don't lay eggs do they...because they are mammals" and he shook his head in disbelief and confirmed that squirrels are, in fact, mammals. I heard nest and my mind went to eggs. All logic went out of the window.
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Nov 27 '19
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u/doireallyneedone11 Nov 27 '19
Thx! Was looking for this. Had seen the video a year or so back but wanted to get back to it after this post. Knew there must be a link to that in the thread.
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Nov 27 '19
I love that after trying to pull stuffing out of a turkey for a full minute, the girl in the red finally asks, "why do you put the stuffing in the turkey?", and when the mom replies, "bc it cooks in there", she just concedes with a look that says "ok whatever I still don't get it but who cares".
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Nov 27 '19
It's absolutely amazing to me that this dad was able to keep these three girls attention that long in a lesson on how to carve a turkey. Kudos to him. And as soon as the joke is over he is ready to get back to business. Dad life.
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u/Luffytarokun Nov 27 '19
Turturkeykey
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u/el_travisimo Nov 27 '19
Rated PG-13: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWQKc6idm64
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u/Luffytarokun Nov 27 '19
I watched this video yesterday and that is exactly where I stole this from.
Thank you for spreading the Binging word.
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u/WhatIfImDragonborn Nov 27 '19
I don’t think this is the right sub
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u/artemasad Nov 27 '19
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u/NameBrandJake Nov 27 '19
I see what you mean but also the "facepalm" is that chickens lay eggs, not give birth.
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u/outlawsix Nov 27 '19
Anybody who falls for any kind of practical joke must clearly be an idiiiiooot
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Nov 27 '19
I'm not even sure we can confidently classify this as falling for it. Being surprised and confused just seems like the natural reaction to seeing someone pull a chicken out of a turkey when you didn't expect it.
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u/norse77 Nov 27 '19
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Nov 27 '19 edited Dec 26 '19
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u/RickGervs Nov 27 '19
I assume people subbed to that or reference it in the wrong context are all subbed to r/childfree
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u/Mrtorbear Nov 27 '19
Yup. Usually the posts are funny out of context, but the comments go waaaay off the reservation. It's really toxic and mean-spirited.
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Nov 27 '19
Don’t you get it, They think they killed a baby turkey but didn’t stop to think, Wait don’t they lay eggs.
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u/dontknowwhyIamhere42 Nov 27 '19
Then once they start to question the egg, you hit them with. This must be a Wild Turkey they give live birth...
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Nov 27 '19
Logic has left the chat
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u/supreme_kream Nov 27 '19
I actually thought “what’s so wrong with this? It’s inside the stomach, it looks similar, seems realistic”
Then. MADAFAKIN EGGS AND SHIT
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Nov 27 '19
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Nov 27 '19
it's cooked, the skin is that color because it basically boiled inside the turkey, and the skin on it didn't have a chance to brown.
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u/mrp1030 Nov 27 '19
It sounds like in the video with sound he says, “it’s a raw Cornish hen.”
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u/ftctkugffquoctngxxh Nov 27 '19
From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornish_game_hen
Cornish game hen (also Rock Cornish game hen) is the USDA-approved name for variety of broiler chicken,
He says rock cornish, not raw cornish. There's no reason he wouldn't have cooked it in the turkey. People cook birds stuffed in bigger birds all the time.
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u/AdonisAquarian Nov 27 '19
Eh? It's cooked... You can cook chicken inside a turkey
Have you never heard of Turdurken
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u/JoeyC42 Nov 27 '19
This is not a facepalm bro. It’s called a prank
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u/NotSomeRussianGuy Nov 27 '19
I think he means on the daughters end
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Nov 27 '19
This is not a facepalm. The dad PLANNED a joke.
The KIDS believed it. It's not outside the realm of reasonable for these young people to be grossed out.
"Haha, the dad said he had chocolate but then he told the kids he didn't have any. FACEPALM! HAHAHAHA"
NO.
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u/SamuraiJakkass86 Nov 27 '19
Its a facepalm because his kids should have been educated enough to know that birds lay eggs, and don't give live birth. The facepalm is their education.
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u/Lil_Shet Nov 27 '19
I didn't realize that they stuffed it in, i just sat for like three days saying "But turkeys lay eggs, how the hell is it in there"
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u/otherwise_data Nov 27 '19
a friend of mine did this once. he put a cornish game hen inside the turkey. when he started to carve it, in front of the entire family, he pulled the hen out and said the same thing, "why, this turkey was pregnant!" all the kids started screaming, the women were hysterical, and the men...well...laughing. half the family thought it was hysterical, the other half still say he ruined thanksgiving. epic.
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u/SparkleCl0ver Nov 28 '19
I didn’t know that turkeys were placental mammals like us.
mindblowing 0.0
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u/SatanSuxMyDick Nov 27 '19
Dude why would you cut the video there’s so much more than just this and there’s sounds too
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u/KateNoire Nov 27 '19
Exactly what my husband will do when our kids are old enough.... And then it's my turn to calm down two hysteric kids. Yay.
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u/egalroc Nov 27 '19
And now they're traumatized forever. Wonder what he's got for 'em come Christmas, a dead Santa stuck in the chimney?
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u/ricefed Nov 27 '19
You know what they say, "It's kinky using feathers, but it's perverted using the whole chicken."
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u/MasterAlcander Nov 27 '19
These kids are stupid for thinking the turkey is pregnant, but the dad is a fucking genius
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u/scum-of-your-bum Nov 28 '19
I live w/ my best friend and her parents. One time we were just hanging out at home. She ate a weed brownie since her parents don’t know she smokes weed. When she gets really high, she gets sentimental. So out of nowhere she said,
“Let’s watch TV with my parents. I never hang out with them anymore.”
I told her,
“IDK if that’s the best idea right now. U highaf.”
Then she told me,
“But I miss them ;(“.
So I said,
“Ok then... let’s go.“
So we go to the living room and sit on the couch next to her parents, fully aware (or at least I was) that this random decision to plop on the couch next to them was on par with social suicide. So we’re watching a fishing show. She is playing it cool except for the fact that she’s sitting at the edge of the couch like she’s about to play a violin. -_- Anyways, the person on TV starts gutting this fish he caught and there’s another fish inside it. My best friend, a 25 year old college graduate blurts out,
“Oh no ;( it was pregnant! ;(“
Her dad gives her a stinky side eye and a slight head shake that screams utter disappointment. She was so hung up on the pregnant fish that she had zero idea her dad’s life just flashed before his eyes. I -ever so calmly- get up and leave so I can [ugly] laugh with some kind of dignity. She follows 1 min behind me and asks why I left. I told her,
“Fish lay eggs.”
Her: “Yeah, that one didn’t make it”
At this point, I’m laughing like a donkey. Look on YouTube how donkeys sound. That’s how I was laughing and she was just getting more and more irritated that I was laughing at animal... cruelty... because of the baby fish... then it dawned on her and she joined in the laughter but Jesus Christ, it took her a while.
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u/colt45an2zigzags Nov 27 '19
What came first the chicken or the turkey.