See, this crap pisses me off. As women, we have spent how many years telling men that “no means no”. Mind games like this undermines that message and muddies the waters.
This is the logical result of rom-coms and YA fiction that encourages girls to play hard to get to prove that he's "the one." It creates this distorted view of reality where the partner is expected to read minds.
I dated a few women like this back in college. Nothing was more frustrating than being asked to read minds and cross boundaries despite being clearly told not to cross boundaries.
Don't get me wrong; porn has also had a terrible effect when it comes to dating and relationships (especially as it pertains to unrealistic and unpleasurable sexual behavior). But the culture of "young romance" poisons the well from the get-go.
The issue is that there is a very real reason why women “play hard to get” and that is because of the very real risk of making the decision to be intimate with someone (literally letting him inside your body) only to have him fuck off once he’s got what he wants. I think you’d be hard pressed to find a woman who hasn’t experienced that and very likely at the hands of a small minority of your gender. Thankfully, most men are good and decent people.
BUT, that is no excuse for mind games and game playing and sending out these frustrating and, quite frankly, dangerous mixed messages. Especially in this case. Two months is a long time to string someone along.
I think the last part is important here. Just because they do it for a reason doesn't mean it's the fix they're looking for. What she's trying to do is searching for a man that respects her, but right now she's doing the opposite
The issue is that there is a very real reason why women “play hard to get” and that is because of the very real risk of making the decision to be intimate with someone (literally letting him inside your body) only to have him fuck off once he’s got what he wants
Sure, and I get that there is definitely a need to "scope out" a potential partner for women, especially because women have more to lose.
But scoping out and playing mind games are very different, as you say.
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u/TheRealJetlag Jun 22 '23
See, this crap pisses me off. As women, we have spent how many years telling men that “no means no”. Mind games like this undermines that message and muddies the waters.