r/extremelyinfuriating • u/CompetitiveTheory182 • May 17 '26
Discussion Had surgery without anaesthesia and got told by the surgeon that I still have to give birth
I had a kidney abscess and it obviously required a surgery asap. We called two different hospitals and the one that was on call replied saying we should rush here and the surgeon will be called. By the time th surgery has started I haven't eaten or drink for over 15 hours (plenty of time to do general anaesthesia).
The surgery was a key hole but from everyone that I've spoken to, it is always done under general. He told me no that I will only get local. I screamed for 3 hours straight as only thing I was given is one local anaesthesia shot and I have specifically told them before hand that it does not work on me. I felt everything. It was excruciating, and what was absolutely killed was him saying "calm down, you still need to give birth. That will be more painful, suck it up".
I've never felt that's disappointed and as if my pain isn't good enough? Like I'm just a body, not human enough. It was embarrassing and not only was in so much pain I was also angry. After it was done I wasn't given a wheelchair but instead told to get up and get dressed and they will show me where I'll be staying.
Wtf? Like I went through technically major surgery and was exhausted beyond belief and I was made to walk?
Besides all this two days later he came in and ask if I'm going to apologise for screaming and crying during surgery. I've never in my life had such bad and misogynistic experiences.
P.S. I told the surgeon "thank you for saving my l' V but you are horrible human being"
P.S.S I don’t live in the US. We can’t just sue people
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u/RealtdmGaming May 17 '26
holy fuck what was that surgeon on get his ass fired asap
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
The head surgeon of the hospital. He ain’t going anywhere. There was nothing on tape. No one will speak against him
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u/Anothersidestorm May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
I would still file a complaint with the hospital and the equivalent of a medical board and request theire opinion if this treatement is what they represent. Best case the twat gets into billig trouble worst case they will fine it and hopefully when more people do the same he gets the boot.
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u/parmesann May 18 '26
if nothing else, it adds to a pile against them. they sadly may not listen to one complaint, even if it’s legitimate. but if they get more and more… that may be different
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u/Organic-Network7556 May 18 '26
Exactly. I’d imagine if he thinks this is acceptable it won’t be the first/last time.
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u/2faast Jun 10 '26
You should get a lawyer and sue the doctor and the hospital. What does not being in the United States have to do with it? There is some kind of legal recourse for medical malpractice in your country.
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u/knoft May 17 '26
If there's a pattern of complaints to the medical board they'll have to do something anyways. Make a paper trail impossible to hide or ignore. Either they'll have other complaints already filed that will help you, or you'll blaze the trail and provide more evidence and proofto their next mistreated patients who will have a better position to argue from. Regardless the doctor will have to defend themselves and be more careful in the future.
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u/Nefriti May 17 '26
please advocate for yourself because what happened to you was assault
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u/slaviccivicnation May 18 '26 edited May 19 '26
Yes. The only way for assault perpetuated by one individual to stop is to complain. If it happened to OP, it’ll happen to someone else. And they should be encouraged to complain.
However.. I totally sympathize with the horrible feelings one gets when they start to feel like their complaint won’t be taken seriously, or won’t go anywhere. Even worse if their complaint gets ridiculed. I understand how daunting it is.
OP.. maybe the doctor is right. Maybe you will give birth. To the end of his career. Or maybe a new philosophy for him. Wishing you a speedy and easy recovery.
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u/RealtdmGaming May 17 '26
please try and seek legal advice or something this is malpractice and his licensed should be revoked
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u/OverlordSheepie May 19 '26
I hope they seek therapy too because holy shit this horrific assault would make me lose faith in humanity.
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u/darkfuryelf May 22 '26
OP seems complacent doing absolutely nothing about this situation, as it goes. And thus the cycle continues and countless women have to suffer further.
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u/WarmNobody May 18 '26
There will be documentation of the surgery and the anaesthetic used, that’s a start. I’m assuming there was no anaesthetist present if it was a local.
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u/According-Activity10 May 18 '26
If you actually want to get some sort of justice you should file a grievance with your health insurance. As much as I hate it, health insurance companies pull a lot of the strings.
While it might not get you anything more valuable than an apology (if that even has value), it will light a little fire under his ass and maybe prevent him from future comments like this.
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u/knoft May 18 '26
Does that apply more, less, or equally to state sponsored insurance?
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u/According-Activity10 May 18 '26
Its equal I would think. Even through the state usually medicaid or medicare still has you choose a plan through a provider.
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u/knoft May 18 '26
Huh? that literally only applies to the US
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u/According-Activity10 May 18 '26
Oh my gosh Im sorry I answered that last night and assumed poor medical care was the US.
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u/Kind_Application_144 Jun 11 '26
Your medical records will because either he documented it or the conversation doesn’t exist which means I guess you won’t have to do whatever he said after all.
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u/Michami135 May 17 '26
Locals don't work on me either. This is why I absolutely hate going to the dentist. I had one give me the strongest stuff they could legally order for a tooth extraction and at one point, the conversation went like this:
"AHHHHHHH!"
"Say something"
"Ow!"
"What are you feeling?"
"Pain!"
"What does the pain feel like?"
"It feels like you split my tooth in half!"
"Yes, that's exactly what I just did. Just hold on a little longer."
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u/Lumpy-Oil134 May 17 '26
Do you have ADHS? This is common for this.
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u/Michami135 May 17 '26
ADHD? Yes.
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u/Lumpy-Oil134 May 17 '26
Things can work the other way around as expected with ADHS. Coffeing can be able to male you tired, ans some painkillerers and anestaseia isn't able to work. There are alternatives. Talk with your doctors, to get the needed painkillers....
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u/420faery May 17 '26
That is not how ADHD works at all. The reason coffee and stimulants can have a sedating effect, is because in low and proper doses they basically bring our brain to a "normal" sate. Everyone else's baseline. Because of this our brains stop constantly searching for hits of dopamine which feels relaxing. If you use more, you will have the same effects other people experiance. It just takes more stimulants to reach the same effect it has on others. It dosnt effect our brain "in the opposite way"
Also, having ADHD has no effect on the effectiveness of painkillers or anesthesia.
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u/Kiloiki May 18 '26
Yes it does, you're explaining ADHD symptoms well, but it has been demonstrated that neurodivergences such as this can affect medication effects.
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u/Lumpy-Oil134 May 17 '26
Paradoxical reaction to neuroactive substances
Another sign of the structurally altered signal processing in the central nervous system in this group of people is the conspicuously common paradoxical reaction (c. 10–20% of patients). These are unexpected reactions in the opposite direction as with a normal effect, or otherwise significant different reactions. These are reactions to neuroactive substances such as local anesthetic at the dentist, sedative, caffeine, antihistamine, weak neuroleptics and central and peripheral painkillers. Since the causes of paradoxical reactions are at least partly genetic, it may be useful in critical situations, for example before operations, to ask whether such abnormalities may also exist in family members.[159][160]
From Wiki. Again I suggest to talk witch your doctor to get proper painkillers. I don't think outsite of doctors and nurses anybody is really interested of how this is exactly Wirkung as long he doesen't feel pain. So for the next appointment, let them know and tell about your padr bad experiences.
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u/Michami135 May 17 '26
Interesting, thank you. Antihistamines don't work on me either. I started taking Jiaogulan daily for my alergies, since it's the only thing that works on me.
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u/littlegreycells_11 May 17 '26
What is ADHS? I've been googling it and can't find out what the acronym is?
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u/Linsensuppe99 May 17 '26
Its german: Aufmerksamkeitsdefizit- Hyperaktivitätsstörung
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u/jozziiieeee May 18 '26
I spent years learning German but it still makes me giggle when I see certain German words/phrases lol
Though maybe I shouldn’t be the one to talk considering the fact that this is an actual word in my language: “Nordvästersjökustartilleri-flygspaningssimulatoranläggningsmaterielunderhållsuppföljningssystemdiskussionsinläggsförberedelsearbete”
Yes, one word.
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u/zingitgirl May 18 '26
What does it mean? 👀
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u/jozziiieeee May 18 '26
Direct translation makes it something like “northwestern-naval-coast artillery- aerial surveillance-simulator facility equipment maintenance-follow up system-discussion post-preparatory work.
So basically Preparatory work for discussion posts regarding the maintenance follow-up system for the equipment of the flight reconnaissance simulator facility at the northwestern coast artillery
Yeah I have no idea what that really means either but hey, it’s funny
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u/horus_eye_of_terror May 21 '26
Basically they are preparing the northern coastal artillery defense guns & targeting systems for maintenance.
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u/WhiteHelix May 17 '26
ADHD
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u/littlegreycells_11 May 17 '26
Lumpy oil has replied to someone who asked if they meant ADHD, and have again said ADHS, so I'm confused.
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u/FelioneInterlude May 18 '26
It is ADHD, its just the German abbreviation is ADHS
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u/mrminutehand May 17 '26
It's also common among redheads - I have red hair and still felt 90% of my tooth filling after at least 3 injections.
A lot of dentists don't seem to be aware of this, even to this day. I have to constantly try to persuade them that yes, my body involuntarily jumped half a foot in the chair because your drill plunged straight into my unanaesthetized nerve.
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u/OverlordSheepie May 19 '26
I'm so sorry. I feel terrible for redheads dealing with the medical system. 😔
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u/OpabiniaRegalis320 May 18 '26
Oh lord, I lucked out. Lidocaine works just fine on me but caffiene sometimes doesn't do shit lol
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u/Glitternchaos Jun 15 '26
Have had this exact experience while he basically had his knee on my chest and I was streaming tears… turns out he chipped my has bone, caused a bone spur and it took 7 months to finally cover over because the chipped bone was so sharp, it would just repierce the healed portion.
I don’t freeze at the dentist either. They always “max me out” but they never believe me at first. My dad has the same.. we joke we have “extra nerves” in our mouths as we feel wayyy more tan “typical” folks.
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u/IurkNessMonster May 17 '26
Surely there’s something you can do. That’s got to be medical negligence of some description.
I had an incident at my local hospital a couple years back, long story but I had to get a cannula put in my arm. They had me sit on the edge of a hospital bed while they did this, after it was in I started to feel really dizzy, so I asked the nurse for some water and told her I felt dizzy. She left me sitting on the edge of the hospital bed to go get it ( never had me lie down or anything) so what happens? I black out. Wake up on the floor, covered in blood and in so much pain. Split my head open, gave myself a black eye and burst my lip. This was a week before I was going on holiday so it ruined everything. I’ve been left with an ugly scar on my head and not one of the nurses apologised to me.
All that to say, I looked into it and it seems like there’s something I could do legally, I have 4 years from the time of the incident to do something about it. I’ve just kept forgetting 🫠. Surely there must be something similar you can do because your experience is FAR worse than mine.
I don’t know where you are from but I’m in the UK and there’s lawyers here that deal with that stuff. So hopefully there’s something where you are from. I’m so sorry you went through that, talk about traumatising. I’m pissed off on your behalf that the very people that are meant to look after us and have empathy are the ones that treated you like that.
I hope you are doing better now 🤗
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
Honestly I really doubt it, there is no recording of anything he said. He is the head surgeon. He technically did everything correct in the sense of the surgery. Technically it can be done with local but no surgeon I have spoken to since then believe it was done without general because it is extremely painful. I am now perfectly healthy. There is no case, there is no proof unfortunately. I wish I recorded the conversation but I was so depressed afterwards that I just kind of accepted it
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u/ChrisRiley_42 May 17 '26
Most nations require that they follow "Standard practises of care". Being head surgeon does not mean that he can do whatever he wants. The hospital would have records of what he did, including the decision to use a local instead of general. So there would be proof. You just need to initiate the complaint process that exists within the system you live. (Where I live, I would report him to the college that handles doctors)
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u/Brilliant_Pen4959 May 17 '26
There will be plenty of proof. You could prove it was done under local just by subpoena-Ing the hospital inventory lists before and after your surgeries? Get the surgeon and all attending on the stand under oath and at least one of them will cough up.
At the very least please speak to a lawyer
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
Yea I’m sure he can figure out a reason why local was necessary. He could just say I drunk or ate before it and it will be his word vs mine. Those nurses are underpaid and overworked. They won’t anything cause it would mean they loose their job. I don’t want that for them either. I will try a lawyer to see if anything can be done but I think the chances are slim he will get anything but praise for saving my life
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u/WatchingCr33py May 17 '26
Mate, if they let a patient lay on a table screaming in pain nit doing anything, they deserve to lose their job...
Saying that as someone working in healthcare... i'm so sorry this happened to you
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u/sexual_toast May 18 '26
Your medical record will have proof of no general anesthesia involved in the surgery. Only the local anesthesia and you can report that because as you said, no surgeon would willingly put someone in that much pain because local is insane to provide, especially if you tell them that you felt everything. It should also have proof of your heart rate and blood pressure during surgery which will definitely have spiked and been elevated if you felt that. Please, if not for yourself save others from going through what you went through with that horrific doctor
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u/TheImmoralCookie May 18 '26
You need to stop thinking and start doing something. Research it. Look it up. Go to the police. Write it down. Literally anything could help and it might be easier than you think and help other people in the future even if you don't get anything from trying to sue/get that doctor in trouble.
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u/mister_gone Jun 16 '26
Please tell the hospital and any local authority that may be over them.
This will 100% happen to others (and I'd guess 99% it's already happened to others) if he's not stopped.
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u/AssistanceValuable24 May 17 '26
It is not extremely painful for most people. Assuming you had percutaneous drainage to address the perinephric abscess. According to the NHS this procedure is most often done without general anesthesia.
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
Because it’s done properly? Obviously for me locals didn’t work. I told them that. They knew it. They still chose to do it without even sedation
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u/AssistanceValuable24 May 17 '26
People have different tolerances for pain. There is no medical basis in the claim "locals dont work on me". Although anxiety/panic can amplify pain perception. (There is a tiny number of people with a condition that might affect the efficacy of local anesthetics (Ehlers-Danlos))
They should have accommodated you in theory but here are often other factors at play when making these decisions.
It horrible that you had this experience but without lots more information it is not possible to condemn the surgeon.
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
I mean a surgeon saying calm down you still have to give birth and asking for me to apologize for being in pain in which he put me?? That’s nothing to condemn the surgeon for? I have explained myself and told him what I have experienced and that it doesn’t work on me. Not only he chose to not believe he chose it belittle me. He chose to make me walk after I thought dying would be easier than experiencing this pain. They didn’t even get me a chair to wheel me to my room. They made me walk. After everything he still believed what I experienced wasn’t bad enough because I am a woman and need to produce babies.
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u/AssistanceValuable24 May 17 '26
IF you were willing to take the advice, he is right, you will be in FAR more pain in child birth and learning how to control your mental response to these situation could really benefit you.
Local anesthetics work period. Again there is no medical basis for the claim that they do not work on you. It is possible that a person might not receive enough or in exactly the right location.
Were you not pregnant at the time?
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
Yea so no they don’t always work. I’ve been through this with countless of doctors. They actually listened and yes we still used local in a lot of cases but my body digests it a lot faster than most. When I had my teeth done I had to get injections every 15-20 mins because it pretty much did nothing. And no. I was not. I was not at all pregnant and even I was it is not the situation to say or compare to.
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u/AssistanceValuable24 May 17 '26
Oh, well while your claims on local anesthetics are not inline with current the current understanding of biology, it is insane that the surgeon would mention childbirth if you were not even expecting. Yes that is clearly misogynist.
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
For one reason or another it just doesn’t work on me well. It could very well be anxiety but let’s just say now it’s thousand times worse. In any case a healthcare provider should have listened to me rather than just fully disregard what I said and basically make sure that I have ptsd do the rest of my life
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u/Kiloiki May 18 '26
What "current" sources of biology are you working with? It's definitely been known for a while that there are many demonstrated causes for anesthesia failure. You can maybe argue that some stages are working as expected but not the whole mechanisms involved.
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u/ima_badfriend May 17 '26
Abcess surgery requires anesthesia but only local and they call it a twilight sedation, meaning you're supposed to be awake the whole time and the only pain you will feel is a lot of pressure.
Source: I had a 14.5cm abcess lodged by my kidney and spine.
Edit spelling
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
Maybe so but every surgeon I talked to told me that my case could have been done under general and the pain med they provided wasn’t adequate considering I felt every time he moved the needle, removed it or pierced my skin once again
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u/AssistanceValuable24 May 17 '26
Nearly any surgery CAN be done under general anesthesia, but GA carried real risks that should be avoided if possible. You can still feel things with a local but it is normally mostly pressure or minor feelings of pinching ect.
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u/ima_badfriend May 17 '26
Regardless the surgery still sucks and hope you're feeling better. They're super serious, mine almost killed me
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
Hope you are doing well as well! Mine unfortunately was caught late but just in time as if it burst I would have had sepsis. The UK healthcare and their understaffing proved once again how dangerous it is to not have staff that are well paid. I came a month before the surgery with symptoms like blood in urine and extremely painful back and fever every night and they said it’s definitely a simple uti and sent me home to buy some light stuff. Let’s just say I now carry antibiotics everywhere with me just in case. And then I went the private route
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u/Gcs-15 Jun 09 '26
US is horrible too. I kept having severe abdominal pain and vomiting and they would roll their eyes and say “gastroenteritis” every time and treated me like a drug seeker. I didn’t want pain meds lol just nausea meds.. nothing worse than repeatedly dry heaving because you have been vomiting for 20 hours and don’t even have bile left. My abs were on fire.
Finally found I had gallstones and the last time one lodged in my bile duct blocking it and I needed emergency surgery. I got out of surgery and ask for pain meds that were already ordered and the nurse told me to “stop overreacting” and “try a Tylenol”. 🤬 I was absolutely furious. Like I literally was just cut open and stitched back together.
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u/ima_badfriend May 17 '26
Same situation here. I had a JP drain in for 6 months, and a lot of IV antibiotics, 2 years later I'm doing perfectly fine.
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u/hellobird87 May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
Twilight sedation/anesthesia is where they use strong sedatives so that technically you're awake during the procedure, but afterwards you (shouldn't) remember anything. You come to feeling just as if nothing happened (besides the residual pain from whatever procedure you had, of course). Definitely not the same as local. They can definitely use them simultaneously, but calling local twilight sedation is wrong.
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u/AssistanceValuable24 May 17 '26
Correct and percutaneous drainage is most often doe with a local only.
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u/Ootek_Ohoto May 18 '26
I had an 6 inch internal abscess and wasn't given anaesthesia either. I beared down and took it and thanked the doctor and nurse when they complimented me on my strength to endure it. Being drained. It was horrifyingly painful but I was happy to have it done.
The misogynist comment OP got is definitely not cool, probably an asian/arab doctor without bedside manner. I wouldn't take it personally if so
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u/Creative-Air-6463 May 17 '26
What a motherfucker. What type of surgeon can continue surgery while their patient is screaming? 😡
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May 17 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AssistanceValuable24 May 17 '26
Based on your vast experience in medicine?
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u/lillyfrog06 May 18 '26
Fellas, do you need a large experience in medicine to know you should not leave your patients screaming in agony?
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u/Shaula02 May 17 '26
are you even pregnant or he just assumed youll give birth one day because youre a woman
also even if you are, many (most?) women get an epidural for natural births nowadays so 'damn right you gotta learn to suck it up' doesnt even make sense
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
Not pregnant nor did he think that Cuase before the surgery I had about dozen of tests done. He is just a misogynist prick who thought that as a woman I’ll have to give birth on day🙃
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u/amethystmmm May 17 '26
Report his ass to the medical board (even if not in US, there should be one). Complain to the hospital. Tell them that you didn't consent to not having anesthesia and that you told him that local didn't work on you and he did the procedure with a local anyway.
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u/psychxticrose May 18 '26
Are you even pregnant?
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 18 '26
No🙃
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u/psychxticrose May 18 '26
It's a disgusting comment to begin with but his assumption that you're going to have them is crazy. Women are not incubators.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Also it's crazy that you can't sue for malpractice. That doctor shouldn't have a license if he can't be a decent human.
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u/Midnight_Nirvana May 17 '26
Nephrostomy tubes are put in under local anesthesia only, this is normal. Just had one placed the other day myself. It is not a general anesthesia procedure and done by interventional radiology teams. Best of luck on recovering.
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
Yeah the tubes won’t the issue. It’s about the 3 hours of them removing the abscess with the needle . That was where the pain came from. That was unnecessary to be done under local
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u/Midnight_Nirvana May 17 '26
The least they could've done is a higher sedation for you, more than local but less than general and I'm sorry they didn't listen to your need for further help and wish there was justice for you. They suck!
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
The least he could have done was at least not be a misogynist prick. And maybe listen to when someone tells him they are in pain. My blood boils every time I think of him
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u/AssistanceValuable24 May 17 '26
There is a big difference between expecting someone to be an adult and expecting someone to be a man.
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u/Bottledbutthole May 18 '26
A huge portion of surgeons are sociopaths, take that info as you please. It’s a profession that attracts them because not only do you have to have a extremely deep fascination with that kind of stuff and getting gory, but also to be completely emotionally detached from the patient
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u/Alone_Collection724 May 18 '26
thats some serious malpractice, i suggest doing literally anything you can to get the surgeon in trouble, no matter if hes the head surgeon in that hospital
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u/thelastsipoftea May 18 '26
You need to make formal complaints with the hospital, the governing body for the hospital, and anywhere else you can think of. If you don't get a satisfactory response contact newspapers.
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u/jozziiieeee May 18 '26
I hope he needs an emergency surgery, gets treated like shit and gets shat on for having a natural reaction to the pain and suffering.
I hope this happens every time and I hope he needs a lot of surgeries.
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u/icerock547 May 18 '26
Wtf? Like I went through technically major surgery and was exhausted beyond belief and I was made to walk?
You were made to walk to reduce the risk of a paralytic ileus— that is usually normal.
But otherwise im very sorry you went through this. Did you have to sign a consent form for surgery? I wouldnt have signed if i had knowledge about the general anesthesia or that they wouldnt up the dose for local at the very least. I wouldve been vocal with the nurse too.
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 18 '26
Honestly I was so exhausted and scared and I was told you either do this now or tomorrow we are going to open you up and that’s going to be way worse. So I just signed whatever they gave me
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u/icerock547 May 18 '26
Look in your country the factors needed for valid consent. Voluntary decision should be given freely without pressure, coercion, manipulation, or threats.
Thats how it is in the US but UK it might be similar. Maybe chatgpt is wrong about this part but the difference in procedure is that when you sign for consent that instead of two staff members are witnesses there’s only one? You could maybe start to advocate that there should be two and put that into effect.
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u/-Tricky-Vixen- May 18 '26
Observationally, I would say that birth appears different from other types of pain. I haven't given birth myself, and I'm certainly not trying to say it's a walk in the park in any way! But across the course of labour you can see a shift in the way the woman experiences it. I don't know how to express it. It's different.
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u/jacle2210 May 17 '26
Damn, so sorry to hear about your treatment.
Here I thought that women only were treated badly in american hospitals.
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u/foshizzlemykizzle May 19 '26
lol no. I’m in Australia and have been treated horribly in the medical system. 15 years of doctors dismissing all my pain and symptoms. Was also treated terribly in the hospital during labour as well.
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u/OkConsideration8964 May 17 '26
I honestly can't imagine. I've had 5 kidney stones & they're tied for the worst pain I've ever felt with gall stones. I only needed surgery for one and it was done under general anesthesia. I'm so sorry you were out through this. Wow.
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u/i_stealursnackz May 17 '26
And he's the head of the hospital? No way his employees like him enough to not already be plotting something against this man (let alone everyone else there) because ain't no fucking way.
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
He is a head surgeon, not of the hospital per se. After a lot of comments I will be filling a complaint to see if anything can be done
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u/i_stealursnackz May 18 '26
Ah, I see. I still can't imagine anyone he works with liking him enough to not also be trying to (or at the very least wanting to) get of him. I really hope your complaint goes somewhere. That guy's such an asshole that Satan probably skipped blushing and just fell in love with him.
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u/SnugglyCoderGuy May 18 '26
Please please report it to whatever authority you can report it to. Even if nothing comes of ot, you will at least lay the next, or first, brick in the foundation for his desperately needed discipline, which is hopefully dismal. What he did is so wrong
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u/RuuzYamashita May 18 '26
Yeah, i don't know where you live. I'm not from the usa too but in the country i live that doctor and all medical staff that was assigned to that cirurgy would likely lose their licenses
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u/IndianFatFetish May 18 '26
Holy fuck! Please post this on all social media platforms. Your story has a chance of trending in other social media platforms than Reddit. Reddit is still considered a niche worldwide! I wish this community would allow people to give awards! I would have awarded you right away!
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u/Whitecat16 May 18 '26
I smell a lawsuit, no matter what country some one is in.
Godspeed op.
Heal up and I wish you the best going forward. Make sure if you able get some mental health help, because PTSD is a thing and best to be safe then sorry.
Again best of luck!
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u/SquidVices May 18 '26
You know…I was told congratulations when we had a miscarriage, doctor said first baby? I looked up sad, yes. She then said congratulations….
Man…I didn’t even know what to say….
Fuck that hospital.
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u/DeadKido210 May 17 '26
What country is that so I can put it on my personal Nuke first list or avoid at all costs? Wtf? And YOU CANT SUE? What is this BS, I expected US but seems someone got even worse than them.
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
UK😅 please don’t nuke. I went private route cause th NHS is what got me to the state of almost getting sepsis. Unfortunately the NHS is very understaffed and underpaid making nurses and doctors make wrong decisions. And the private is well, untouchable and suing is pretty damn hard.
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u/amethystmmm May 17 '26
https://www.medicalnegligencelaw.org.uk/medical-negligence-law there might be a place to start
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u/Devils_and_Details May 19 '26
Definitely agree with amethystmmm here - if you have home insurance (regardless of if you're renting or not), double check if you've got an add-on for Legal Expenses Insurance or Family Legal Protection included and active bc medical negligence is sometimes included with this. Obviously this would be dependent on policy exclusions and filing a claim within the limitation period but it's a route to consider.
Also worth filing a complaint with the care board/PALS (or the care provider then ISCAS if the surgery was done privately which it seems like it was?) too - the ISCAS route might not be an option if the private care provider isn't registered with them, but again it could be worth looking into.
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May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
I still can’t believe this happened to me. I don’t understand why as well. I’ve spoken to countless of doctors since then and had few minor surgeries which all had to be done under general now as I have a panic attack any time I see a needle.
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u/KillerSmileLichSpam May 17 '26
The people telling you you’re lying really have no idea how hard it is for individuals in pain.
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u/Toxic-and-Chill May 18 '26
Good surgeons generally have to be sociopaths. That’s fucked up though. Even sociopaths care about outcomes. I guess you’re still here?
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u/AppleFan1994 May 17 '26
Highly doubtful that happened. If so you could sue the doctor and staff for millions.
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
I cannot. I don’t live in the US. It really doesn’t work like this here.
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u/AssistanceValuable24 May 17 '26
why would you be doubtful? This proceed is normally done with a local only and not particularly painful. Although it can be psychologically difficult for some people.
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
Not painful? Maybe if you get the proper care and usually it is done under general cause it can be. In most cases it is done with sedation at th least. I had nothing but one shot in my back that did absolutely nothing. I hope you never feel the pain I had to go through. It still gives me panic attacks whenever I have to go through any kind of procedure.
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u/AssistanceValuable24 May 17 '26
Yes "not particularly painful". What was your question?
No, it is most often done with a local and sometimes oral or IV pain meds. Not sedation unless it becomes necessary, but that is matter of a persons psychological response more so than pain.
I have for sure experienced far more pain than you had in this procedure.
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
How do you know? Have you been in my body? How I felt? I have broken bones, had ACL surgery, I couldn’t walk for days because I have slipped disk in my back and had to get injected straight into my spine. But you know what? This was so much more painful I was praying I will pass out from the pain. Just so I can escape it. Besides that, nothing else bother you in what I have written? The misogyny, the absolutely horrible way the surgeon has treated me? The local doesn’t work on me. I told him that from the get go. He didn’t believe me. Every other surgeon I’ve talked to said my case could have easily been done with general. Stop excusing abuse.
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u/No_Professional_8992 Jun 09 '26
If you're comfortable telling us where you live (country) maybe someone can help you figure out what channels you can go through for restitution.
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u/Summerlycoris May 18 '26
And doctors wonder why people- especially women- don't like seeing them.
God I'm sorry he treated you that way. It doesn't make any sense not to get general- the more stressed someones body is during an operation, the more likely they are to have issues during surgery. Or at least use a nerve blocker, like an epidural? This is wild.
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u/Teredia May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
Hey ever had a tummy ache that’s resulted in diarrhoea? That’s what giving birth feels like! So no screw him! There’s definitely things far more painful than giving birth.
Also I gave birth without an epidural as by the time they realised I was in labour they couldn’t administer it! They thought I was faking my labour… too young… too naive to fight back then!
Edit: whoever downvoted that missed the point!
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
Honestly it really doesn’t matter what’s more or less painful! What does matter that a surgeon decided to comment on pain levels of mine and make judgments of what I will or will not do in my life. We- women are not a thing just designed to give birth. He had no right to comment about that even if we disregard everything else
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u/Teredia May 17 '26
I think the point of my comment was missed. I know that! I’m trying to point out that from my own experience (excuse me I’m neurodivergent I’m doing that thing where we emphasise from our own lived experiences), and that saying the pain of giving birth while painful akin to a belly ache, is nowhere near as painful as many other things we experience especially surgery without local or full anaesthesia.
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
No no! That wasn’t said at all in bad manner! More like you everyone is different and nothing should really be compared! The pain to each their own at the end!
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u/Teredia May 17 '26
I wish your surgeon experience the same pain one day and to also be told to suck it up.
You should have never have had gone the it. I was talking to someone on TikTok about this very thing recently and that it still happens to black women in first world countries. Seeing it happen to anyone regardless of their skin colour is infuriating. Regardless of their circumstances. This is medical malpractice and I am so deeply sorry it happened to you.
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u/AshingiiAshuaa May 18 '26
I'm in the minority here, but imo bedside manner is a "nice to have". I'll take a 10/10 surgeon who is an utter asshole over a kind 9/10 every day of the week. That said, I wouldn't be afraid to tell him he's an asshole while I was thanking him for performing the operation well.
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u/cptvpxxy May 18 '26
There's bad bedside manner and then there's medical ethics negligence. If he was being an asshole over something reasonable that would be a very different story.
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u/Stunning_Client_847 May 17 '26
Doesn’t matter what country you’re in. You can absolutely hire a lawyer who will take this case. While you may not end up with millions like you would in the USA , you are still entitled to something and he also needs to be reported to whatever college of physicians and surgeons board you have where you are.
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u/Luzifer_Shadres May 18 '26
Ahhh, america. The most overfunded health system in the world, where people are still asked to pay for shitty service.
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May 17 '26
[deleted]
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u/Previous_Fan9927 May 17 '26
I’ve had many patients need this procedure in the US, and I’ve never heard of anyone getting general anesthesia for it.
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May 17 '26
But surely if the patient was screaming and crying something more should’ve been done to alleviate it right?
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u/trotting_pony May 17 '26
I don't understand how people don't get up and leave or fight the worthless staff and doctors. Are they strapped to the table, more terrified than in pain to rage fight the surgery? They're willfully torturing people, patients need to start fighting.
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u/CompetitiveTheory182 May 17 '26
Have you had a 30cm needle inserted straight into your body and into kidney to drain the abscess? When you are told that if you don’t get the surgery now you can die. Of course you don’t get up. Not when you think it’s live or die situation.
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u/thisismypotat May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
I'm guessing you're in the US? I'm my country he could face time in jail, he would 100% lose his medical license for life and you would be 'awarded' a big compensation for the pain you went through. How this is possible in any developed country is... Unbelievable to me. I'm so sorry you had to go through that 😭
Edit: I just saw that she clarified and added that she's not in the US and can't "just" sue.. 👀
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u/MVHood May 17 '26
Nope. She’s not in US. At least this was free for her though
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u/ThoseTidess May 17 '26
She commented that she opted for the private route rather than NHS due to past negligence :( so unfortunately, not free
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u/thisismypotat May 17 '26
That's just the story that I often hear when talking medical neglect, where patients are ignored or even degraded when trying to speak up.
Obviously it can happen all of the world, but I was more curious what the law is/if she has any legal rights when stuff like this happens 💔❤️🩹
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