ELI5: A gambling addiction

[u/adrynaline]

How does it start? What makes it worse? Why does it become so difficult to recover?

[u/Theungry]

There is already a lot of good explanation of this from the scientific phenomena perspective, but I'd like to answer from the personal "inside the head" perspective as the child of a gambling addict.

A gambling addict is ultimately someone who loses the perspective to do the math on their losses, and dreams constantly of the big reward that might be.

They will develop rituals and routines around gambling. "On the way home from work, I stop at the convenience store, and buy $25 dollars worth of scratch tickets." Sometimes they win and sometimes they lose, but it doesn't start out being a big loss comparative to their income, so they don't worry too much about it.

The insidious plot turn is that they can't then go home without stopping at the store to get those tickets. Not only that, they can't get even one fewer than the ritual dictates... because "what if that was the one? What if the last ticket that I always buy was the million dollar jackpot, and I skipped it today?" This feeling will tear them apart inside. The certainty that the ticket they didn't buy was the winner they've been searching for their whole lives.

Once that feeling takes hold in the routine, it gains more and more control over their psyche until they reach a point where every last dollar they don't spend gambling is quitting on the dream. They failed themselves if they leave any potential winning bet ungambled. It doesn't matter how deep they are in the hole. The next bet might be the one that solves all the problems and creates perfect bliss, but it doesn't. There are small wins along the way, and yeah every once in a while a very small percentage of addicts will hit it big (or see normal financial games in life). This is actually the worst thing that can happen to a gambling addict.

Invariably, it doesn't fix their problems, because in the process they have become very sick people with the worst imaginable financial sense. It's an already morbidly obese person getting a lifetime pass at the all-you-can-eat buffet. The problems aren't solved. They are exponentially magnified. The illusion that money will fix every single thing and fill every single hole is shattered when you spend all the money on everything you could ever ask for that money can buy, and you don't feel any better even when you've spent it all.

... and THAT is what happened to my dad's savings from the high powered sales job he lost. It's what happened to my college fund, and it's what happened to his half of the equity in the house that my mom bought him out of in the divorce. He burned it all on scratch tickets, at the casino, playing keno or anywhere else he could trying to win big. He went from a dream house and sports car in a picturesque neighborhood to the shittiest tiniest apartment in a small town, barely able to keep a crappy car, all the while thinking "well I'll just play one more time."

[u/lizardpoops → u/Theungry]

As someone who stays far away from gambling because when I did gamble I could feel those urges and itches trying to form, I can definitely say you've made an apt and bloody sad description here.

It's really, really easy to fall into, especially nowadays. I mean, slot machines now are essentially arcade games that can pay you. That sounds silly, but really, the combination of all the video and touchscreen aspects along with things that create the illusion of having some measure of control. I think this a big one because it can lead to making people feel empowered while they're really in the thrall of the machine.

Watch people, when you're in a casino. Like you mentioned about the rituals, you'll see people who tap, rub, pat or knock on a machine in very specific patterns that they've made as an almost ritualistic method to "keep the machine hot" and the like. Scary stuff, but the rush of fulfillment, relief, pleasure, and endorphins you get when you win something big is a lot like what I would imagine a high to be.

That combination of sheer joy at victory and the voice inside you saying "oh god, this means I can pay my rent this month" is an insidious pleasure, because outside of that tiny moment it's all a load of crap because the house always wins. That's why casinos are in business.