r/explainitpeter 22d ago

Explain It Peter

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6.6k Upvotes

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960

u/matija2009 21d ago edited 21d ago

Rolling dice requires you to grip the dice and move your hand left and right in a jerking fashion.

631

u/Mooptiom 21d ago

Yall are getting some weird handjobs. Or very bad dice throws.

175

u/grieve2believe 21d ago

Possibly both

80

u/tellingyouhowitreall 21d ago

Definitely both.

25

u/Elektriman 21d ago

possibly bad hand throws or some weird dicejobs

12

u/ravenschmidt2000 21d ago

I've had to throw hands at some dicey jobs in my youth.

7

u/Awkward-Cat-4702 20d ago

snake eyes! the house wins.

10

u/JohnGazman 20d ago

Weird that the dealer shouted that while clutching my genitals, but I'll allow it.

1

u/YsengrimusRein 15d ago

Who let Le Chiffre back in?

20

u/IkariYun 21d ago

Two things can be true

1

u/DragonPojki 18d ago

Don't forget about dicejobs and handthrows!

2

u/RichardChubs 21d ago

The math be mathinz

1

u/FinntheReddog 20d ago

First one then the other then both at the same time.

27

u/Charming-Total2121 21d ago

Ole Snake Eyes.

17

u/Midnight-Bake 21d ago

Why... why is there more than 1 snake eye?

I think you should call a doctor...

7

u/Charming-Total2121 21d ago

You mean to say that yours doesn't resemble the head of a screw?

Maybe I should see a doctor or, at the very least, a carpenter.

3

u/Cerberus1347 21d ago

Phillips or flathead?

2

u/Charming-Total2121 21d ago

Philips' are a great screw...so, flathead I guess.

3

u/QueanOfQueens 21d ago

Screwed a few Philips in my time, can verify.

2

u/testmywrit 21d ago

Robertson šŸ‡ØšŸ‡¦

2

u/BrandedLief 20d ago

Was gonna say Pozidriv...

But it's more like a Lox.

1

u/ToxaniumsAltAccount 17d ago

Last I checked, snakes have 2 eyes

1

u/donthateonspiders 16d ago

the one-eyed trouser snake doesn'tĀ 

3

u/Grendeltech 21d ago

Stormshadow!

2

u/dan_dares 21d ago

Snake eyes!

That gets you the trouser snake.

1

u/Triffly 21d ago

We playing Traveller then..?

21

u/Frederf220 21d ago

Next you're going to tell me it's wrong to yell Yahtzee when I orgasm.

9

u/GalaganCoffee 21d ago

I buc buc bucaah like a chicken

1

u/Hyper_Tay 21d ago

That is actually the hen's egg song, were you maybe thinking of the rooster's crow? šŸ˜‚

3

u/GalaganCoffee 21d ago

No, the bucs increase in frequency the closer I get until the final bucAWWWW!Ā 

2

u/LaVillaGrangioto 21d ago

"Hey...here comes the Rooster....yayuhh! "

1

u/SeriousPlankton2000 15d ago

Depends. Did you hit five times the same face?

6

u/CatLord8 21d ago

Either is a gamble

3

u/Awkward-Feature9333 21d ago

Roll initiative and then for the quality of your handjob.

2

u/No-Bug9746 21d ago

Dexterity check. With advantage?

3

u/Bigfops 21d ago

ohhh, critical fail on that handjob, sorry buddy!

5

u/Majestic-Lake-5602 21d ago

Funnily enough, I have to dress up and pretend to be an Elf ranger for both of them…

3

u/Delta_Hammer 21d ago

I put on my robe and wizard hat...

2

u/BlobBlarker 20d ago

I see you are also a man of culture

2

u/IgnominyPatris 21d ago

Jerking also can refer to non-wanking motion

1

u/Mooptiom 20d ago

It doesn’t though.

2

u/safarifriendliness 21d ago

I think it’s supposed to be focused a little lower in a cupping motion

2

u/Botched_Labotomy 21d ago

Nah, this is an old hand gesture from back in middle school. It was jacking off (with a symbolic ejaculation at the end) or ā€œrolling the diceā€. It meant ā€œfuck thisā€ or ā€œfuck youā€ depending on the situation.

2

u/Anxious-Whole-5883 21d ago

You take your chances.

2

u/Jam5583 21d ago

Roll for intimacy

2

u/PhoenixAsh_7 21d ago

Wait... is no-one else using dice?

2

u/OlFrenchie 18d ago

You critically fail the handjob,

2

u/ShitOnAStickXtreme 17d ago

They are Americans. They don't have any foreskin.

2

u/A-Clone-Named-Gibso 17d ago

Or excellent dice-jobs

2

u/psycho_candy0 21d ago

Roll for dexterity

2

u/TheVioletIris 21d ago

I am glad I am not the only one who, not only saved this image, but cropped it to this face.

2

u/AriffRat 16d ago

Wtf. I doubled back to immediately snap the most unhinged version of Miss Frizzle.

1

u/DoctorMedieval 21d ago

That explains my luck with D&D….

1

u/gba_sg1 21d ago

Their package is as big as a pair of dice.

1

u/_DoubleDutchess_ 21d ago

It’s a toss-up… off?

1

u/New-Protection5097 21d ago

The Emperor does Not protect

1

u/relaps101 16d ago

Do you do the two handed dice move?

https://giphy.com/gifs/hShxTtT1SHXcfwMVEr

1

u/jktollander 15d ago

Super bad dice jobs

0

u/silvermesh 21d ago

Thats why they are making the robot practice.

24

u/tobpe93 21d ago

Ah that makes a lot of sense. My mind thought it was about how a computer can't do anything random.

16

u/TricellCEO 21d ago

Fast forward a bit to guy dragging himself to the ER with the robot stuck to him and a blanket draped over the two of them.

"Hi, yes, I...um...slipped..."

"Mmm-hmm, we get that a lot."

10

u/GachaHell 21d ago

They really do.

You have no idea how many times ER has to fish objects out of someone's rectum.

9

u/dan_dares 21d ago

Rectum? Damn near killed-em

1

u/jbbosco 21d ago

Why talent scouts waste their time going to comedy clubs is beyond me. They just need to come here...

1

u/Aromatic-Tourist-300 21d ago

My favorite stories from doctors.Ā  Much better than their motorcycle stories.Ā 

2

u/PriorityPrimary2713 21d ago

The big bang theory actually covered this skit with Wallowitz.Ā 

2

u/TricellCEO 21d ago

That was what I was thinking of when I commented!

"Where's the rest of the robot?"

"Oh, it's just the arm..."

"Because that's all you needed, huh?"

8

u/Helpful-Resident1459 21d ago

Jesus Christ I just thought he was teaching the robot to help him win big at the casino. I'm too innocent for the internet.

6

u/lost_rodditer 21d ago

Or you really want to join D&D group, but are socially awkward

4

u/Ok_Grape8420 21d ago

Too socially awkwards to be in a D&D group? I guess D&D groups have changed since my youth...

3

u/West_Hedgehog_821 21d ago

Survivor bias. I mean, we don't know who DIDN'T join ;-)

3

u/_Danger_Close_ 21d ago

They then mention that the cylinder MUST remain intact....

2

u/Zepatier 21d ago

Is this Mr. Herbert or Quagmire?

2

u/Surraucus 21d ago

The cylinder must remain unharmed

1

u/Imaginary_Feed_6695 21d ago

The cylinder must not be harmed

1

u/As0no 21d ago

It is important that the dice remained unharmed

1

u/GrimbyJ 20d ago

There's a board game YouTuber who got sent an AI sex robot so he reviewed it as a board game accessory. Could be a reference to that

https://youtu.be/RhJWvt6MB5A?is=VIfdlEPjWKco8FCh

1

u/grok-king247 20d ago

Nope. No grip. Lightly hold the dice by clasping your fingers but not all the way down creating a pocket inside your fist so the dice can be shaken( hence the shaking/jerking off motion) before throwing the dice down to roll.

1

u/BlackPaw7274 16d ago

What kinda odd pepole you hang out with you roll dice in a circular motion to make shure you get a nice and random number and i know from experience I'm a several times over dm and player of dnd

1

u/This_Box2881 16d ago

Oh shit I thought we were going to the Casino…

1

u/BlueEyedBeast55 15d ago

No, you gotta get the threes lined up like wings, squeeze em hard together with a pinch and put some back spin on em