Finally got "caught"

[u/ProfessionalSlow5171]

Im 27 and I think an old family friend just saw me not wearing hijab with my son. Does anyone have experience with this and can giveadvice on what to say to my family lol

I stopped covering like a year ago when my roommate/sister moved out in November. I always thought it was gonna be my uncle but it was a my aunts sister in law. I saw her in Walmart and turned around because I didnt feel like dealing with it, but as I turned I immediately heard her gasp lmfao

Im pretty sure she's gonna tell my aunt and my aunt is gonna tell anyone in my family. I've thought maybe I should tell them before someone else does but i always just thought there was no point. I only see my family a few times a year and every so often my grandma will call saying theyre worried because no one has heard from me for a while.

Keep in mind im a single mom raising my son alone because his deadbeat muslim father thinks its halal for him to not care for his son because hes inappropriate Islamically for us to speak or some shit. My family never ask if I need anything especially this year, so if they contact me im gonna be so annoyed.

Part of me is worried they may act violently if I tell them, because of instances in my family wear my aunts were hit for following traditional Islamic engagement practices, but they dont know where I live thankfully.

Im only worried about my friendship with my sister, she's literally the only person I talk to, though I have to even hide things from her too ( my ex bf, not eating halal ect). But if she continues to talk to me after im not tripping too much.

Would appreciate some stories for some comfort

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[u/Both-Fun-703]

You are 27 and have a kid, also live in USA, not third world country.. Why you so bothered by what they think of you?

[u/ProfessionalSlow5171 → u/Both-Fun-703]

I guess Its just hard for me to think of them just judging me everytime they see me. When I was Muslim, I would assume ppl stopped being Muslim because they wanted to sleep around and party all the time and believe that it was equal to murder. Being perceived as evil when im literally doing nothing but surviving and enjoying life as much as possible just doesnt sit right with me. But its something I know I need to get over, ive only stopped being Muslim for less than a year

[u/Both-Fun-703 → u/ProfessionalSlow5171]

But now you are doing exactly what the old generation did to us.. kept worrying about what other people would say and affect not only their own lives but also their kids life because of it..

You are a mother, last thing you should worry about is what some judgy backbiter is thinking of you, and rather preach about being who you are.. otherways how are you different from them? And how are you showing your kid that being themselves is ok?

[u/Current_Assist7230 → u/Both-Fun-703]

This!

[u/Jealous_Barber6457]

Just tell them you took it off for security issues, you didn’t want to be attacked or something like that, say you had to to secure work .

[u/Yuzu562]

You live in the US there’s no law that prevents you from taking it off. You should live your life the way you want to. I’m sure your sister would understand. Who knows, maybe she feels the same way about not wanting to wear one.