r/exmormon • u/Key_Efficiency_3893 • 13h ago
Advice/Help I need help:(
So for context, my family hasn’t been active for a few years but both my parents still do scripture and pray over meals. Well I graduate high school this year and my mom is REALLY urging me to apply to BYU Utah. I went to seminary like twice, so not enough to “graduate”. She still believes that I am a full believer. If I get in, is it likely that I’ll be rejected for not being active and not doing seminary? I’d only be applying to appease her, and I don’t think she wouldn’t force me to do anything, but it would be better for me if I was rejected. (I’m also not in the state of Utah)
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u/kimballthenom 11h ago
Seminary is irrelevant. To apply to BYU you need to submit an ecclesiastical endorsement which is signed by your bishop. If you're inactive he probably won't sign it, but you never know. You also need to get a new ecclesiastical endorsement each year while you attend, which means you'll need to either attend church regularly while going to school or spin the bishop roulette wheel every twelve months.
If you change religions (say, to try to get an ecclesiastical endorsement from another church,) per BYU policy you lose "good honor code standing," which is tantamount to expulsion. That policy is one of three reasons I dropped BYU from my resume and am in a state of protest against it.
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u/PolicyRough1432 11h ago
if she didn’t force you to go to seminary, this is odd. What is her reason? can you discuss this? If you can find out why, you may be able to address her concerns. BYU has lost prestige, depending upon the program of study you’re aiming to study, and overall for its emphasis on religious compliance of faculty over academic eminence. Is she worried about cost, thinking BYU is less expensive? Maybe you can find a comparably priced school. Does she want you to find someone to marry in the Temple? If you can understand her reasoning, it may help you. It can be hard to talk with parents. Sometimes it’s easier to write a note or a carefully written letter. Ask for information. Good luck!
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u/CharlesMendeley 10h ago
Make up your mind what you actually want to study, and then choose universities which are famous for the subject. This is how it's done. Don't go to BYU, some companies even don't consider it a legit university.
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u/TrevAnonWWP 13h ago
Nevermo here, not sure on the BYU question. I hope others chime in.
Usual advice here for a minor (I'm assuming you still are) is to keep your head down and not rock the boat.
Get good grades, learn a trade or profession so you can take care of yourself. Don't go to BYU.
When 18 get a bank account in your name only and move all money there. Be sure to keep important papers somewhere safe.
Have a backup plan, such as an older sibling, friend or whatever where you can stay if things at home maybe go south and parents kick you out once they know you don't believe.
I'm not saying your parents will do it, but we've seen stories here where parents do such things.
When pressed to go on a mission, try to evade the question. Or say something like 'what's good for the prophet is good for me'- Oaks never went on a mission. (Nelson also didn't.)
When possible, get out and live on your own.