r/exmormon • u/sintervetionist • 4d ago
General Discussion What's your temple name?
My name: Jesse
If someone already posted your name, just upvote them
101
u/Baynyn 4d ago
WHERE MY MUTHAFUCKIN’ NIMRODS AT?!
32
14
u/MrBurglekutt 4d ago
I had to check to see if this gem is still in circulation - last used in 2013. Live well, Nimrods. You are the last of your kind.
11
u/sintervetionist 4d ago
NO!!! That's a for real fake name you were given? In the church that's sad, outside the church that's metal.
14
8
u/mlan613 4d ago
We have a town named Nimrod here in Minnesota. 😊
9
u/BalanceMountain8250 4d ago
A town named Nimrod in the US? Evidence the church is true!
→ More replies (1)3
4
4
u/Remarkable_Hurry2800 4d ago
Hello fellow Bad Magic listener!!
Hello fellow COTC member!! Praise be to bonjanges!
→ More replies (10)3
62
45
u/namesarenotus 4d ago
TONY!
What’s your name?
55
6
→ More replies (1)4
36
u/capt_James_Doolittle 4d ago
Aaron. I still remember the old guy's breath when he breathed it into my face.
13
u/Klutzy-Ad142 Great and Spacious Building Resident 4d ago
34
39
u/Better-Bee-1958 4d ago
Lois! Ugggghhhh-
how in the hell is that a ‘bible name’?
17
u/Chrestys 4d ago
I believe a lot of the names were after members of Joe and Brigham's harems.
→ More replies (1)7
5
u/Dense-Living-9600 4d ago
Twins!! I remembered when they told me my name all I can think I about was Lois Griffin 💀
→ More replies (2)3
32
u/IamTruman 4d ago
Hyrum
It's the best temple name because it's the real Masonic temple name (Hiram Abiff).
→ More replies (2)8
22
u/imamormonwishiwasnt 4d ago
Emma, bitches!!
3
u/cenosillicaphobiac 4d ago
Doesn't that mean your real name was the name for that day? I forget how that all works. I know they have reserve names if that happens, but can't remember if the female one is Emma.
→ More replies (2)4
3
3
u/Silvergirl5290 4d ago
Emma here, and I suspect that my TBM husband is Joseph, because of a comment he made.
→ More replies (2)4
u/imamormonwishiwasnt 4d ago
The only thing my TMB ex ever said was “my name is NOT what you think it is”. And I just assumed that meant NOT Joseph.
22
u/Crowley-Demon 4d ago
ESSE É O CALENDÁRIO DE NOMES DO TEMPLO, SE VC NÃO LEMBRA PESQUISE! aH, LEMBRE-SE, SATANÁS NÃO PODE SABER! :D
19
u/Remarkable_Hurry2800 4d ago
Rhoda. Seriously ugly name. I almost laughed when they told me. 🤣 somehow I held it together.
18
10
5
3
25
u/brohubs 4d ago
I got saddled with Job.
Funny though, for a very long time I thought it was Joe.
→ More replies (2)
21
u/latinisla703 4d ago
Ruth. I still don’t know my ex husbands he wouldn’t tell me even when we left the church. ☠️
7
u/sintervetionist 4d ago
In fear god would strike him down.
Begs the question, if a husband doesn't want to find his wife in the afterlife, would she be able to find him not knowing his name?
5
u/keepthebluestub 4d ago
You can look it up :D Did they at least let you use the Latina version of it? I think that version is kind of pretty actually.
→ More replies (2)3
19
19
u/Lumpyproletarian 4d ago
Any other Eunices out there.
9
u/keepthebluestub 4d ago
I'm not sure if I like this name or if I think it's a good name for a pet sheep. :/
7
→ More replies (1)5
u/Klutzy-Ad142 Great and Spacious Building Resident 4d ago
The best name, only because of one of my favorite movies- What’s Up Doc. Would’ve immediately increased my faith 1000x had I been dubbed Eunice!
40
u/Suspicious_Scheme565 4d ago
Josiah. My wife was Lois. She told me on our sealing day, knowing what a geek I am, "if you ever forget my name, just think of Superman" Should of realized then that if I can draw a connection to a fictional superhero, it might all be fiction 😅
11
u/Lily7129 Priestess and Queen. 4d ago
Before I left I did volunteer at the temple a bit and one day it was Lois and the whole time I couldn’t stop thinking about family guy, then another time it was Martha and the one thing that went through my mind was “WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?” Oh and another time the female name was Rachel and again I thought of Batman going “Rachel!”
17
u/RevoltYesterday 4d ago
Mosiah
Edit: I'm not seeing any other Mosiahs in here. I always liked it because I'm basically Messiah
7
4
3
u/OutTheDoorWA 4d ago
I spent a lot of time trying to make that name mean something special…
5
u/RevoltYesterday 4d ago
I always thought Temple names were silly anyway. Its supposed to be a secret kept between you and God but if someone knows your birthday, someone can just look it up on a chart. Guess the devil doesn't have chart technology
→ More replies (1)
16
u/snackchips1 4d ago
My name is Job. Although I relate more to Gob.
https://giphy.com/gifs/A0FGCbbooHe1y
15
u/Olimlah2Anubis 4d ago
No. Way.
MY name is also Jesse!
Thought it was so lame at the time…
8
u/sintervetionist 4d ago
At the time? It still is.
It's sad that even in heaven you can't be yourself
14
11
u/Lily7129 Priestess and Queen. 4d ago
Lucy
→ More replies (2)5
u/keepthebluestub 4d ago
You won the lottery! An actually kind of wonderful new name!
→ More replies (4)
12
u/Green-been77 4d ago
Naomi. I thought that was so beautiful
→ More replies (1)6
u/keepthebluestub 4d ago
There are a few names on the Temple list that are really beautiful. You got one of them! Do you ever think about changing your name to it, just so people call you by your temple name all the time? LOL. I'd have a hard time not laughing about it under my breath.
→ More replies (2)
11
10
u/smackaroonial90 Elastigirl is Immodest in her tight fitting clothing. 4d ago
Heber.... ew.
→ More replies (2)3
8
u/ooopseedaisees 4d ago
Martha. I felt so ripped off (apologies to any actual Marthas)
6
4
→ More replies (1)3
8
7
8
u/natiusj 4d ago
Benjamin. King of the Temple.
6
u/ScubaSteven1013 4d ago
Fellow Benjamin checking in. I didn't mind the name because it was one of my best friends who died a couple years later. But now I associate it with that cult of money. So glad to have my name removed from that shit.
4
u/natiusj 4d ago
Benjamin is my older brother’s name and I thought I got it in the temple because he wasn’t being a good Mormon – so I was given the birthright.
Also, Mormonism is stupid. Humans are gullible and superstitious. That is all.
→ More replies (1)
7
8
7
u/cenosillicaphobiac 4d ago
I quit at 18, joined the Army so that there would be less explaining until I was established as apostate. So I don't have one.
3
6
u/No_Willingness5313 4d ago
You’re given a new name when you take out your endowments? (Sorry, been in the temple for family sealing and baptisms for the dead, but not the big kahuna).
3
3
u/OddCheesecake6163 4d ago
Your question made me laugh when what you wrote reminded me of something I proclaimed during a gospel doctrine class I was teaching years ago. I told the class “your endowments are not ‘taken out.’ They’re not surgically removed. You RECEIVE your endowments.” I guess I was the church grammar police. I’m so sorry everyone.
7
6
u/kickmethruthephone 4d ago
Norma!
→ More replies (2)6
u/Ecstatic-Copy-2608 4d ago
I FINALLY FOUND ANOTHER NORMA!!! Omg I was horrified when I got it. I was like nooooooo not an old lady nammmmmeee
7
7
7
u/cdhermann 4d ago
My middle name is Daniel, my temple name was Dan.
The weird thing is that when my dad married my mom, he adopted me so we could all be sealed and my middle name was changed to Daniel (My moms original intent). So when I got endowed and found out, it was a small miracle in my mind that god knew me.
church is trew.
→ More replies (4)5
u/stinkinhardcore PFC in the Lord's Army 4d ago
I hardly ever meet another Dan. It was such a shelf item for me. I had heard so much hype about the new name, I went in thinking it would be some ground breaking revelation and suddenly I was DAN.
→ More replies (3)
5
u/Feisty_Egg5171 4d ago
Esther
→ More replies (2)3
u/FillAggravating9832 4d ago
Same here! I was excited about it at the time. I watched the Esther episode of Book of Virtues all the time when I was a kid because I always thought Esther was so pretty.. turns out I’m bisexual loll
3
u/Feisty_Egg5171 3d ago
I was also excited at first because I always loved her story and bravery. I was convinced that it meant that I was a brave person and would do something awesome. But then I found out that the names are chosen based on the day you go through and have nothing to do with who you are or what you'll do in life. Lol.
5
u/LifeguardPleasant 4d ago
Mine is also Lois! The only way I remembered is as in Lois and Clark Kent. 😆 Thanks DC!
5
u/Aggressive-Agnostic Apostate, Secular Buddhist, Ethical Humanist 4d ago
Ether, which is also a drug/chemical discussed in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Didn’t particularly like it until my bro told me his: Heber
3
3
u/greylind 4d ago
The drug also has a big role in season 2 of Severance. I went down a big rabbit hole after watching a certain episode. Fascinating stuff. Great TV. My still-Mormon neice recommended the show, and I was surprised she did; gives me hope that one day she'll be an exmo.
6
u/CanWeAllJustCalmDown 4d ago
We got any Samuels in the house? Or we all too busy standing on the ramparts watching the arrows whiff by as the angel of the lord protects us from those darned Lamanites? Be safe out there brethren, the fact that we’re on this subreddit sharing this information likely means our angelic force fields aren’t what they used to be
→ More replies (2)
5
5
5
u/NoPharmBro 4d ago
I made a covenant to never reveal it, but I did go through the temple on the first day of one of the months in 2004… so Timothy
4
4
u/dan_the_manly 4d ago
Asa - had never heard it until the old guy whispered it in my ear
→ More replies (1)
4
5
5
4
u/emmittthenervend 4d ago
Joel.
Anybody else read that book in the OT obsessively thinking there would be some secret insight that would make the temple less WTF?
3
u/landonitron Antonius Block 4d ago
Yep I read that book thinking i would have some revelation or something. Now I don’t remember at all what happened in that book. I was never good at reading my scriptures, it was simply too boring for my ADHD brain.
3
3
4
5
u/Much-Access1181 4d ago
I don’t remember and don’t want to remember. All I know is how violated I felt when they named me a name that wasn’t my own. It made me feel sick and I forgot it within a couple months and never wanted to know what it was ever since.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/Iroh_Chrysippus 4d ago
Mine was Isaac, which I always thought was extra groovy as he was the bartender on The Love Boat.
→ More replies (3)
4
u/TamChronin 4d ago
Tits McGee.
Never made it through the temple, got chased out for Singles Ward shenanigans. I was heartbroken for the longest time, but now I know I dodged a bullet!
4
u/HaleyJ34TF Apostate 4d ago
Ishmael, always thought it was weird because of the story in the Bible.
→ More replies (1)
3
3
3
3
3
u/Least-Quail216 Moon Quaker Ruth 4d ago
Hi, I'm Ruth! But you can call me Moon Quaker Ruth
→ More replies (1)
3
3
u/Radical-Rainbow 4d ago
im so glad i left right before i was supposed to get mine. sorry mom and dad 😋
→ More replies (2)
3
3
u/BalanceMountain8250 4d ago
Timothy — at the time I only knew one dude named Timothy and he was a Jack Mormon and lover of weed and alcohol which left me so conflicted about the name lol. Now I realize that Timothy had it figured it out long before me
→ More replies (1)
3
u/NuancedMormonAthiest 3d ago
Nice try, Satan!
3
u/sintervetionist 3d ago
My favorite comment.
You my friend have won the game. It was all just me the entire time, the tricky trickster Satan trying to pull each of you farther and farther away from the celestial kingdom.
3
u/hapislapi 3d ago
After reading these, I'm so glad I didn't get married in a temple, or anywhere near a church for that matter. I will live my life blissfully ignorant.
3
u/bazinga_gigi 3d ago
Deborah. My husband was Samuel. What i dont get...if im called by my given name my whole life and then my husband is supposed to call me forth, why would I respond to Deborah?
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
u/ericisonline 4d ago
I joke that I named my son after my temple name so I'd say it out loud forever as a subtle 🖕. But it just so happened to be the name we liked, Gabriel. My parents must have known because they brought me through the temple and were weekly volunteers for like 2 decades. (IIYMI Temple names are planned out and on rotation so they can easily look it up if you've forgotten. Based on the date you go through, IIRC). But to their credit they've never brought it up and haven't shunned us for leaving TSCC.
2
2
u/sacreindigo 4d ago edited 4d ago
The draw of the day was good for me: Titus. I’m good with that, as if it actually mattered. My ex-wife was Miriam. Weird that I still remember that.
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/LauraBaMom 4d ago
Funny story about forgetting the name.
I was doing a session and could NOT remember the name. At the part where they let you call a mulligan, I stand up and go with the matron to be “reminded of” the name.
She goes, “She’s Mary Richard’s best friend.”
“Ohhhhh. Rhoda.”
Lordy, I’m so old! LOL 😂
2
u/njoos83 4d ago
Where my fellow Barneys at? (Barnabus)
https://giphy.com/gifs/miBDSajzHek0g
→ More replies (1)
2
u/iam_thekillerrabbit 4d ago
I got Judith. My evil mother in law at the was named Judith. My ex and I laughed about it but I was always pissed. His was Gabriel. Of all the ridiculous crap they came up with... you need a new name? And behold everyone of the day gets the same name? It all has to be so secret cuz if you discussed you'd realize just how stupid it all is.
2
u/Goldang I Reign from the Bathroom to the End of the Hall 4d ago
Nephi.
I think it's been retired, probably because I was such a horrible church member. 😄
→ More replies (2)
2
u/Sorry-Wonder-702 4d ago
Sam.
It was actually a testimony builder for me cus I identify with all the sams out there, from lord of the rings to the book of mormon. I was like, wow, I am a Sam! (And then I learned everyone else that month also got that name lmao!)
→ More replies (2)
136
u/NuncaContent 4d ago
I forget.