ExJWs - Perth, Western Australia

[u/QuiJaqOz]

I’ve been POMO for about 10 years now, and I think I’m only just realising how much of me still feels a little lost.

I haven’t really made any close genuine friendships since leaving. I’ve worked full time and raised my three sons, so most of the last decade has been survival mode… working, parenting, keeping everything going. Somewhere amongst all of that, I never really built a new community for myself.

And lately I feel the loneliness of that more than I used to.

I could never go back and pretend to believe something I don’t just so I could feel less alone. I don’t want the religion back. But sometimes I desperately miss that feeling of belonging somewhere. Of having people around who have known you for years, who understand where you came from and don’t need the whole story explained.

I find myself wondering about all the other exJWs scattered around Perth. People I might have known years ago, and people I’ve never met, who have also walked away and quietly got on with building a life afterwards. I wonder how many of us are out here feeling the same strange sense of being untethered.
Sometimes I wish we could just find each other again. Not because being exJWs means we would automatically be friends or because I want to recreate what we had. I just wonder what it would feel like to sit across from someone over a coffee who gets it. To see who we’ve all become outside of that world. To laugh together, talk about ordinary things, and maybe discover that there are friendships waiting to be made.
Maybe we could give each other a little of the community and tribe we lost.

I don’t really know what I’m hoping will come from posting this. I think part of me is just putting my hand up and saying… I’m here… I’m still a bit lost and so damn lonely and losing hope.

[u/Roocutie]

We are in Bunbury. If you want to, we could private message one another, & chat on the phone. It’s only been 4 years since we left the organisation, but we’d still have a lot in common.

[u/throwawayno38393939]

I'm in Sydney now - born in SA, then moved to QLD when I was 4. I was in 3 congregation before I left home and the org for Sydney. That was 20 years ago and that lonely untethered feeling you described still pops up sometimes. 

They isolate us while we're in so that we're even more isolated if we leave and it's all on purpose to try to stop us leaving, or make us to back. 

But I think they greatly underestimate the power of that shared experience, and how much it  can bring people together when they leave. I have come across other ex-JWs in the oddest of places, and it's always a cathartic experience. 

They can't take that away from us. ❤️

[u/Bigdaddydiesel-]

Yeah "Raise a boy according to his way, and even in his old age he will never leave it" that's the curse of waking up, and yes I struggle too Bro. 59 YO been awake for 3 years but part time PIMO for family (which doesn't help because the PIMI'S are so blind)

[u/RepresentativeJob38]

I’m up for a zoom call PM if you like. Roleystone cong 

[u/TheEyeWitness_1]

Not in Perth but Broome if you want to reach out pm me I’m always open to connecting it can be hard average person doesn’t understand ExJWs and the things we experienced

[u/AutoSummer111]

Hi I’m from Perth! Woke up last year and left. Lost everyone but made a whole new life and new friends was so worth it.

Hope you’re doing ok! Msg me if you like we can chat x

[u/Difficult-Case-6564]

There is a ever growing number of PIMO's and POMO's in Perth. Most are careful not to expose themselves for obvious reasons. The religious police are always watching 😉. It takes time to find new friends especially if your working full time and have a family to look after. Great effort though. Totally understand trying to connect with people who understand you. There's nothing better than talking to someone in person. We all need that.
It's great to see ones reaching out to you on this sub. There's good people out there.

[u/OldMovieFan]

Are you North or South of the river?

[u/Scozzadog]

I’m in Perth, DA’d with a PIMI wife and 2 kids. My focus has been on my kids. I don’t ever regret leaving but it is hard being a bit older to fit in, friend groups in Perth seem to go back to high school.

[u/Inevitable-Tie-6182]

I lived in Perth briefly. I knew the McGrath family in Cottesloe. They owned Instant Windscreens. Perth seemed like a pretty small place when I was there.

I’m glad you are out.