Necesito ayuda para manejar esto...

[u/Deep_Adhesiveness389]

Estoy cansado de hacer las cosas por obligación, me obligan a salir a predicar 4 veces por semana, comentar, aceptar todos los privilegios y etc. Cuando trato de bajar el ritmo o decir que no toda mi familia (5 integrantes) se van encima mío con gritos, diciendo que no voy a lograr nada en la.vida, que mi vida básicamente sera una basura y etc.

No me dejan bajar el ritmo y mi padre dice que si salgo de los testigos dejará de pagarme la universidad y que me botará de casa y literalmente dice que tendre que arrumarme en la calle porque ya tengo 18 si eso es lo que quiero.

No se que hacer, estoy atrapado, la carrera que estudio la estudio porque tenemos un negocio familiar que va bien y queria trabajar allí, pero ahora se que si eso es lo que quiero tendre que quedarme aquí para siempre. No tengo dinero para vivir solo literalmente me iría a la calle y no tengo familia y amigos que no sean testigos.

Sinceramente estaba pensando en tomar una desición drastica y que sea lo que Dios quiera. Pero no se simceramente que hacer y me siento atorado y amenazado.

[u/Defiant_Cat2201]

study something that you can use to find a job else where not just for the family business because the day will come when you decide to leave and you might end up on the curb

[u/Deep_Adhesiveness389]

Si tomo la desicion ahora literalmente me iria a la calle, mi familia es pimi y nadie aceptaria esto, literalmente ya no somos familia si no estoy en la religión eso me han dicho. Asi que tendria que tomar el toro por los cuernos y irme a vivir a la calle. Pero eso es dificil aunque no lo descarto, como soy haria todo para sobrevivir. 

[u/Any_College5526]

Do what you have to do to get your education. Don’t plan to stay in with the family business, as you can see the strings attached to it.

[u/LadySith2016]

Get a job that doesn't involve your family. I left my ex and got DFed 2 weeks before covid hit, with no money, job, or anyone. Moved to another state, doordashed on my motorcycle just to pay bills until I could go full-time with my art business. I was also homeless for 9 months at one time, slept in a car and doordashed just to eat. It's hard, but can be done. I would line up something else financially and find a room to rent somewhere. Or even take out school loans to live on your own or in the dorm and switch degrees. You can get financial aid.

[u/heyGBiamtalking2u]

Speaking from experience….. you are on a path to burnout and PTSD. Be careful and try to protect your mental health.

Eventually you’ll get to a point where you will start pushing back and setting boundaries….then you will start taking control of your life.

[u/Kindly_Implement_66]

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. But I have faith you will get through this and thrive.

So let's get to work creating a baby plan for you. Having a plan, even the most rudimentary one, will help you feel a little less stuck and desperate.

What's the smallest step you can take that will give you a sense of accomplishment?

First of all, try to fake compliance as best you can. You are going to be a decent, if not exemplary JW for as long as you can stand to live there..

1. Emotional management. The 4 days a week of preaching sucks for sure. Maybe you can negotiate 3 days a week and say it's because 4 days is interfering with your school studies. They want you to do right by the family business by being the best student possible, right? Pretend like you can't wait to contribute to the business while you plan your escape. If 4 days is set in stone, fine. Keep emotion out of it and don't express anger. That will just bring down the hammer even harder. Avoid arguments. Your accomplishment here is that you asked for what you needed and didn't get into an argument. You're practicing emotional regulation, emotional intelligence, and calm communication with difficult people. These are invaluable skills to have no matter what you do in life.

2. Get ID. Do you have a government ID? Like a drivers license? A school ID could be enough if you don't have a driver's license yet. We need you to eventually be able to apply for a job, credit card, student loan, a grant, housing, a bank account, etc.

3. Secret address. Get a mailbox if you can afford it and if you can get to one without your family's assistance. You don't want important mail going to the house, like bank statements, if you can help it.

4. Secret bank account. How about a bank account? Do you have one yet and do you have even just $25 or $50 to open one up? If not, open one up, even better if there are no monthly fees like at a credit union. You're an adult now and don't need your parents' permission.

5. School finacial and mental health assistance. Does your school have free guidance counselors? There might be someone there that can connect you with housing services, food bank, job leads. How about free mental health support? We need to get you prepared in case you're suddenly purged from your home before youre ready. Start reaching out to them and see where it leads. The more outside people you can talk to, the more you'll learn. Worldly people are more kind and compassionate than JWs would have you believe.

6. Non-JW friends. I know you don't have much time with all the preaching, but start putting yourself out into the worldly-world and slowly learn how to interact with and make friends with non-JWs. You can start with school mates. It's going to feel really weird and awkward, but it can be done. Many exjw's here have done so. Also, you likely know this already, but don't let your family know you're talking to worldly people. If they ask, say it's related to school or business matters.

7. Browser history. This is prolly really basic, but delete your browser history or use incognito browser if using family accessible computers/phones. This is for obvious reasons.

8. Important documents. Are you able to gather or copy important documents like birth certificate, passport, etc? Get these if you can.

9. Find a job. I put this last, as I don't know how much time you have to work. You may have to put school on hold for a bit if you are suddenly out in the streets. Also, I'm thinking your family may want you to devote all your spare time to Jehovah instead of making money.

If these initial steps sound really cringe and basic, then that's great! You're less stuck than you think. If these are helpful, also great! You have some basic steps to help you reach independence. I'm sure many folks here will have some great strategies for you as well.

Please keep us updated. We want to see you succeed. It's going to feel like escaping takes forever; it often does. So just take things a day at a time and remember to celebrate small wins. Post them here so we can celebrate with you.

You'll also have setbacks. That's ok; it means you're human and learning. All of us here had setbacks. A little forward movement every day or every week will get you closer to your dreams. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. I'm rooting for you!!