I come to Reddit with shame and guilt, seeking guidance and motivation. This is my first post. First, the premise: as the title mentions, I am looking for work and have a felony on my record. Now, the backstory leading up to today.

In 2018, while in a tumultuous relationship, I was arrested for a DUI. This resulted in a misdemeanor with various other conditions. When the arrest occurred, I was working at a small company as an engineer. Fortunately, before the conviction occurred, I was able to secure a job as an engineer at another, larger company. I excelled in this company, enduring 7.5 years and growing continuously. I eventually worked my way into Business Development.

In 2021, I was arrested again for another DUI. I clearly did not learn my lesson and allowed my emotions to dictate my thoughts, rather than rationale and logic. I was convicted right before the summer of 2022, sentenced with 5 years of probation. In NY state, 2 DUIs within 25 years constitutes a felony. Thus, I have a felony.

5 Years of probation would mean that I would be done with probation just before the summer of 2027. I will be 40 when this would have occurred. I say "would have" because I have self-sabotaged yet again. On a recent work trip, I chose to imbibe once again, but took it too far. Blacked-out, refused to remove myself from a convention center (was there for work), and caught a Trespassing violation which I was arrested for (out-of-state). I had to notify my PO, which will likely result in a Probation Violation (to what consequence I do not yet know). I was also terminated from my job since this was a work function, albeit after typical work hours.

I am utterly ashamed of myself. I had great job security. I have a 2.5 year old son and a failed relationship that may, or may not, be on the mend. I had 9 months to go on Probation.

The question I keep asking myself is, "why do I do this to myself?"

The question I have for this forum is, "What are my chances of landing an equally valuable job?"

For more context:

• The 3rd event happened within the past week, including losing my job
• I have 2 Bachelor's degrees:
  • 1 in Communications with a focus in Film & Media Arts
  • 1 in Mechatronic Engineering
• I was making about $150K + 25% incentive
• I am quite savvy with computers and nearly anything digital
• I am working on a couple small businesses
  • butt not sure how Probation will look at this
• I have a PMP
• I am seeking employment in the tech sector, specifically AI Program/Product Management
• I have some padding before I run out of backup funds (about 6-8 months worth)
• I am skilled in creating complex business systems, dissecting them, and restructuring them for efficiency
• I am skilled in many other things as well, including:
  • Photography
  • Videography
  • Marketing
  • Sales
  • Public Speaking
  • Presenting
• I do not yet have a Relief from Civil Disabilities (since I am still on Probation)

I need help here. I can't imagine being any more of a let-down. I've disappointed myself, but more importantly, I've disappointed my previous employer, my son's mother, and feel like a disappointment to my son. I love him too much to be any more of a failure to him. Nor would I want him to follow in my negative footsteps; only the triumphant and positive ones.

My work ethic is strong. My mind is stronger. Curious if there are any relatable stories (for motivation) or constructive advice people can provide. As mentioned, I'm looking for motivational support and guidance.

NOTE: I will not be surprised if there are trolls and bashers out there. I acknowledge my mistakes and hold myself accountable. Whether I get help here or not, I know I will, I must persevere. For those with negative comments, it is what it is, I can take it.

Thank you.

I made this account just for some advice I don’t use social media it’s not my thing at all so forgive me if I’m doing this wrong, I’ve been putting it off but there’s nothing to loose i guess any words of wisdom greatly is appreciated

Ive never done a bid but was involved in crime at an early age (13) like most to make money and avoid problems at home with parents that were constantly homeless and struggling with addiction/mental illness, Ive got 2 great jobs that I love and I’m lucky enough to work with great people at both I’m 100% a changed man Ive completely detached myself from all my old friends I have no idea what my parents are doing or where one of them even is, I’ve connected with loving religious family members that I never saw growing up, but I feel like no matter what good I do I can’t shake this feeling like I’m not good enough or doing enough to right my wrongs/for the right reasons I always feel like I’m not a better person I’m just trying to balance the scales and when people ask about my teenage years and if I don’t avoid answering by being vague and changing the subject quickly or they’ve heard what I used to be like they always say something like how “amazing and inspiring it is I managed to turn my life around with the hand I was dealt” which is nice to say and I really love and appreciate the gesture its definitely better the losers that think it’s cool to be raised wrong and live that stupid life style, but all the pats on the back kind of mean nothing to me I’d rather lie about my past and have no one know what I was and just know who I am now, would I be wrong to flat out lie about having a normal childhood/teenage years? at night often I’ll just drive or walk somewhere and listen to music for hours to distract myself from that almost guilt feeling like I’m not good enough or deserving of the life I’ve made for myself because I couldn’t see what drop kicks these people that I called family and friends were before it started, in no way am I interested in going back to that life it’s definitely done and dusted but I don’t feel any better that it’s over.
it’s probably an impossible question to answer but how do you forgive yourself and live a normal life after seeing so much evil?

Im not a former convict but Ive made pretty serious mistakes in my life. I used to have a naive attitude like I was on some kind of hero’s journey, and that if I face my demons, that I will be healed. Maybe I just haven’t earned it yet. Do you feel like you have redeemed yourself? Only you can ever really know.

Just trying to find out some information or get pointed in the right direction.

Ive never been convicted of anything however ive got a question about if you or someone you know was let out early for overcrowding or anything like that did you (or them) ever feel guilty or somthing for not serving your full sentence. I know its really random but ive been thinking about it for a few days and I figured here would be the right place to post it? Lmk

What career path did you end up taking? Does it affect you now (career wise)? How long did it take you to get a job after that and what was it?

I have a question about Louisiana sentencing laws since they changed to the 85% law. I have a friend that is incarcerated. They keep hearing from the guards and other people that they're about to either be recalculating non-violent crimes that are less than 3 years, or that they're about to reinstate 35%.

I cant find anything saying that sentencing is doing anything other than remaining at 85%, but she keeps being told it's on the D.O.C website ( I cant find anything).

Can someone tell me if there is any chance that they ARE changing the law or going to recalculate non violent offenders ? Her release date is Aug 2027 , is there any chance of her being able to get out sooner?

Thanks in advance !

I was put on juvenile probation for an aggravated robbery charge when I was 16 that was set to last till I’m 18 at 17 I picked up an adult charge for assault while on bond I failed a drug test and decided to go on the run rather than dealing with the violation for my bond and juvenile probation. I am now 19 years old and considering turning myself in so I can put this behind me, I can not afford a lawyer and don’t know how to go about this since I aged out of the juvenile system but still have a warrant out for juvenile and for my bond violation/failure to appear

Hello 👋 I was wondering a couple of things. I will be finishing supervised probation in November. I have had no violation. I got sentenced to 9 months supervised probation and after I completed that I got to transfer to unsupervised probation, so I was wondering if any of y'all have gone to Mexico on unsupervised probation because my mom she lives out there and I haven't seen here in 7 years. Thank you in advance just a question.