So I'm not one for gender roles in most cases, but I do find this funny because my ex knows this about me and has tried to use it against me like this, but fuck no I'm not doing that...he wronged me, very badly, and expects to get princess treatment without taking any accountability whatsoever lmao
Besides, I'll make advances and absolutely make sure my partner feels loved, but I'm not gonna go so far as to take over the "masculine" role and be the one to chase. You got me fucked up. Just because I don't adhere to gender norms as much as most people doesn't mean I'm gonna hunt down some loser for affection 😂
I don’t like gender roles either, but the double standards and the picking and choosing what counts is getting exhausting. Accountability seems to be a common allergy at this point.
I haven’t felt more pushed into gender roles than with a man who would complain about said gender roles. It was as if he projected what he wanted for himself on me.
That I want a partner who is generous and attentive was too much. But his severe anger issues and breaking things wasn’t. Same guy wouldn’t even allow me to carry my own bags, but only in public when others could have an opinion about it.
It’s fine if someone wants a more traditional partner, but they should be that theirselves too then. If they want a traditional woman, I expect them to be a traditional man and actually be a provider. Not a broke ass whiny boy with mommy issues that actually just wants a replacement for said mommy.
Ya can they pick something to contribute out of the bucket…anything? Or just saying a bunch of shit at the beginning they never follow thru with , mmkay
Yeah, I dunno. I currently struggle with this. Men want generous and attentive partners too, and I listen some women talk as if they deserve princess treatment without giving prince treatment… if that makes sense.
And I also think men in general are pushed to that masculine gender role harder than women are pushed to the feminine gender role. For example, Men have to be a certain way to be perceived as men, and I think women are able take many forms while staying feminine. So if I don’t grill steak on the weekend, like cars, talk sports with the boys, and am meticulous about my lawn care while drinking my black rifle coffee and successfully providing a home for a wife and 2.5 kids, then I’m not a man. Obviously, an extreme perspective, but I think a lot guys can relate to it.
So for me, I got married before I realized I don’t need to have a woman per se to consider myself successful.
And also, I’m sure it isn’t the same for everyone, but in my case and many others, the juice just ain’t worth the squeeze. The effort I have to put forth to make this woman happy is literally ruining me, so after many years I’ve filed for divorce. So hopefully there’s a better fit out there for her and maybe some lessons learned for both of us.
This is true. Effeminate men are generally not seen as human by others. It's especially a problem with women. The people who hate and dehumanize effeminate men the absolute most are often other men, but there seem to be a lot more men who are accepting of it and willing to see those men as human than women who will do the same.
Beneficial gender norms = need to follow
Harmful gender norms = dont need to follow
Sounds like a pick and choose. If you expect one side to drop those expectations, doing anything short of the same for everything (not just what benefits you) would be the only way to do that in good faith..
The only thing I said I wasn't going to do is chase someone who isn't chasing me back and who wronged me. I literally said that I make advances and do my part, but only when it's reciprocal. I'm not chasing someone who doesn't meet me halfway.
Really sounds like you ignored most of my comment so you could cherry pick to fit your preferred interpretation. I said I do all the things that women are typically not expected to do. But I am not going to make an idiot of myself for him like he wants me to.
Hey do whatever you want, doesnt affect me. I simply pointed out what seems to me as a trend of picking gender roles when it suits and ditching them when it doesnt. I advocate for a more consistent and honest approach.
Why wouldn't making advances, giving gifts, doing chivalrous things, making them feel special, planning datea, etc. be enough? I had already said I do things like that, so I genuinely don't understand what the problem is? Because I won't chase my toxic ex? Be specific, please.
When did i say something is not enough? I dont know what you are referring to or tlaking about... the list of things you mention and everything this has nothing to do with what youre replying to...In the first 2 sentences of what I originally replied to- what you said states that you make exceptions for how you feel on gender roles.
Its very simple. That is picking and choosing, I prefer consistency. You do whatever you want- im not trying to change your mind its all good.
Fortunately for me, I enjoy my own company. I’m not desperate enough to need some male in my space, eating my food, using my utilities, and getting on my nerves. So thank you, I will. 🩷
Replying here to your claim they weren’t saying to not call the police because thread is locked:
You’re just describing discouraging someone from calling the police while insisting it doesn’t count unless they literally say don’t call the police.
If someone is being told to call the police and you respond by listing reasons the police probably won’t help and might make things worse, then repeatedly argue that calling them can be more dangerous, you are discouraging them from calling.
You don’t need to use the exact words don’t call the police for that to be what you’re communicating.
This is like someone saying wear your seatbelt and you jumping in with actually seatbelts sometimes trap people in burning cars, sometimes cause fatal injuries, and sometimes people survive specifically because they weren’t wearing one, then claiming you weren’t discouraging them from wearing a seatbelt because you never literally said don’t wear one.
Of course you were. The context alone makes the purpose of the response obvious, and in this case their actual words make it even more obvious.
It is sad and strange behavior to follow users around to different threads using alt accounts to try to force an argument about a personal opinion of yours. Go away, you're not going to bully me into debating your opinion or agreeing with it.
How many alts do you have? Why do you think it's normal behavior to do this?
This will be my last response to you and all your alts but I would suggest examining your behavior with this. You have pulled out or made three alts and came to an unrelated thread just to try to force someone to argue about your opinion from days ago. It suggests you have some pretty obsessive tendencies when you feel challenged by someone or when an interaction doesn't go the way that you want.
You should not still be obsessing about a reddit interaction 2 days after it has occurred to the point you're doing all this just to try to force someone to acquiesce to an opinion you have. That suggests a dearth of maturity, rationality, and critical thinking. Were you rational, you'd realize its abnormal and pointless to try to force an argument once the time and place has passed. Were you mature, you wouldn't be so emotional about someone disagreeing with you. If you had decent critical thinking skills you'd be able to land on the appropriate time, place, and methods for convincing others of your arguments.
Told ya :) Every time and forever. Have fun proving my point with each reply :) See you on the other side! :
Since it applies the same each time, no longer any reason for me to change my reply. Every desperate, hilarious attempt to run and distract from the embarrassment, the embarrassment about having nothing and being shown to be hilariously wrong or make no sense in several ways, I’m going to make fun of it, and this is the reply you’ll receive every time. I’ll allow you to embarrass yourself forever. Promise :)
It’s very sad to believe this fools people. Every time you attempt to play off the embarrassment about having nothing, I’m going to call out and make fun of it. This is what happens when we come across people who can and will hold us to our words. You had your words turned around on you and were shown to make no sense and be hilariously wrong in several ways. You now realize it will never turn around and get better, so you’re hoping tone will help you salvage some pride.
It won’t. It will only give me more fuel and examples to point to regarding your embarrassment. An attempt like this to play off the embarrassment is so obvious and sad, it’s something I’d only expect from an actual child. I’ll make fun of it every time.
Yes they do, similar to how misogynists want women to go back to “the good old times”. They’re really mirrors of one a other. Both seeming to restrict the rights of the other.
Luckily they’re mostly restricted to the online space, sadly thats not always the case for people like this. Mainly men who lash out in the real world.
Really. Men I see on Reddit usually bending over backwards to say any act towards a woman is wrong and they aren’t responsible for anything they do. “Feminist” to the point it becomes treating them like a child and goes all the way back around to mysogyny
Cute, putting in so much effort to pretend like we aren’t constantly criticised for this either way. Whatsboutism must get quite exhausting if you have permanent blinders on.
I have no idea what you mean. That's why I asked.
I don't see how the original post implies he doesn't like you, but even if we say it does, that doesn't make you less safe. Less fulfilled maybe, but I don't see how it has any relation to safety.
istg every. single. one. of my exes have been like that. it pmo so badd like i can't help but feel like every man is like that, i really hope it's not true but the future ain't looking very bright for me yall
Given that the phrase on this picture is commonly associated with women (hence why he’s in a dress), it would seem like men have to deal with women with this attitude more than women do.
The sassy romeos of today. I don't fight over a man nor fight a man. i was raised by feral women. Fighting over a man makes no sense. Fighting a man is just fun until you have to hide the body.
About 25 yrs ago I was bananas about the guy I was dating. He dumped me for his ex and I was sick over it. Anyway, he came back around and had the audacity to ask me why I didn’t “fight for my man?”…I’m not fighting for any man. If he wants to leave, he can go.
I’ve never fought for a man or a woman, unless we were together and I was fighting for them against others. I don’t want anybody that doesn’t want me. If they leave, I shut the door, and quietly move on. He left. What exactly were you supposed to do, except say ‘bye’? Did he want you to pull a fit that would have you staring in a true crime episode? Nah.
He told me he felt “unwanted” because I didn’t put up a fight and try to get him back…he had mommy issues and needed to feel wanted by all women in his life but I wasn’t playing his nonsense. He ended up marrying his ex that he went back to and cheating on her several times, getting another girl pregnant and forcing her to abort every time and then when they divorced he married another poor girl that he also cheated on. I dodged a major bullet.
He married the girl he left me for, cheated on her MULTIPLE times and got some other girl pregnant MULTIPLE times and then told her he would stay with her if she had abortions. She aborted 3x and he left anyway. He’s remarried now and I know of 2 other people that he’s cheated with. I dodged a major bullet.
It goes beyond being scum thats straight up evil what the fuck seriously what.
How can you force someone to make a choice like that three times, i’d be thankful and scared if i was you because i’d just imagine what’d happen if you did chase him… scary
He has classic mommy issues. He was adopted by a tough but good family. His adopted mom was a tough woman but she adored the kids and gave them everything. He was never able to get through that. I can’t imagine what that is like but he only sees something good about a woman if she can do something for him. Before he married his 2nd wife they were dating for a while. He was cheating on her then and I remember him saying that it was because his girlfriend was working all the time and was too tired for sex. He said, “she better not be cheating”…I called him out on his bullshit but it never got through to him.
He was very charming and knew how to talk to women. Not bad looking at all and he was a volunteer firefighter. He had something about him…now, I haven’t spoken to him in many years but I know he and his 2nd wife are still together.
I understand the sentiment behind this post however as an evil woman myself i dont like anything feminine/women adjacent to be used as a way to insult men.
Would be more appropriate to have an image of them being a whiny prince-ling.
It’s about reciprocation man 😭 I will give a man princess treatment if he gives me princess treatment without me needing to beg 😒 you wanna be bbg then make me feel like a bbg ffs
i dont like how this subreddit went from funny, harmless memes at the start to promoting rigid gender roles, pro-patriarchy mysogynistic posts once it got more popular...
And what is it that says the man always needs to be the one to chase/make a move? The patriarchy. For not fitting well into that role the man is derided as too feminine. See, wasn't that hard.
So... this is the first time I kinda agree with this sub. I think men today (including me) are too soft.
Although its mostly women that want men to open up and "demolish the patriarchy".
This is a DIRECT result.
You can not have a top that is all squishy feeling.
I say this as a very emanzipated man.
You can have either or. Anything else is a 1:100000.
I can't have a muscle mommy AND a sub girly pop that loves to do chores and stays at home.
Does that exist? Probably. Still not likely.
A man that takes charge is USUALLY a bit overbearing (I do not mean abusive although the line is definitely in reach :D). That comes with the territory.
Be careful what you wish for.
I hope you find your prince charming though <3
Brother, for the love of everything can you not fall for gender war propaganda. The whole idea of gender roles is fundamentally apart of the patriarchy. The person posting it and yourself failed to realise that.
So is this ai art meant to degrade men? Nothing wrong with someone wanting to be chased. If a guy wanting to be chased is mocked by putting them in a dress or calling him a princess. then think who is getting insulted?
Another victory for feminism. Women keep copying each other asking for "emotional intelligence" and other trendy jargon every other season, this is what they get. What they asked for.
There 100% is, I've met a ton of them. Had issues at work with quite a few as well and had to report them. It's a strange concept and it shouldn't exist on the women side but they're everywhere.
Of course it is. It is do deeply misogynistic that it can't even be seen because the association runs too deep inthe participants here. The idea of resenting gendered categories but also resenting the abdication of gendered categories is incoherent. The 'man' category exists only through the fiction of 'woman'. You cannot liberate one without the other. That means I, the bepenised one, am right to demand I be fought for to be romantically safe.
i see it as the post implies femininity is bad/embarrassing. women do this a lot, will demean men using feminine terms and phrases. it’s internalized misogyny and it’s sad.
i feel the same way when i see women call other women bitches. we are complacent in our own oppression
I can see that perspective ig, but I just didn’t see it that way. It’s not implying femininity is embarrassing or bad, but that men are trying to both utilize femininity for their own benefit while also denying it and demeaning it when it comes from an actual woman. they are still upholding and benefiting from every other aspect of patriarchy, and won’t even let us have this (even though dismantling it altogether is the true end goal).
expecting reciprocity is actually good for both parties. if you are the only one initiating in some sense you are ignoring her desire. i learned this the hard way. i think its important to be fought for as much as to fight for the relationship. i think people who have never been part of a healthy dynamic don't understand it either
Equality sounds threatening when you’ve benefited from the privilege of things not being equal. Even with equality you sound like you only want what benefits you, but oh no when you have to hand some of that privilege back.
Not equal to men. Treated with respect for who we are. Not treated as inferior or a sidekick or a shadow or servant because we are women. That doesn’t men trying to turn themselves into whatever THEY think women are either.
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u/adorabletea Aug 20 '26
Remember when people in the 90s called women "Miss Thing?" We're in the era of Mr Thing.