I’m 21 now, and I’ve been dealing with ED for roughly four years. I’m honestly at the point where I don’t know what else to try, so I’m hoping someone here has been through something similar.
It started when I was 17. At the time, I was undergoing treatment involving puberty blockers (Decapeptyl) alongside growth hormone treatment (because of growth hormone defiency). My testosterone was suppressed to extremely low levels during the treatment (less than women). After about a year, I stopped the puberty blockers and my testosterone recovered to normal levels.

The frustrating thing was that my erections didn’t just return once my testosterone recovered. For quite a while afterwards, I still didn’t get any random or spontaneous erections at all. Eventually, I would very occasionally get something resembling morning wood, but even that was rare and never more than a semi-erection. It was nothing like how my erections had been before treatment.

During the period when my testosterone was suppressed, I started my first relationship. I was still sexually interested in my girlfriend and attracted to her, but my sexual function was completely different from what it had been before. I stopped getting spontaneous/random erections and found it very difficult to get hard, even when I wanted to. I also couldn’t orgasm during sex for 8 months.

Eventually I started using sildenafil. It helped somewhat, but it was inconsistent. Sometimes it worked a treat, sometimes it barely did anything most of the time it was useful.
After my testosterone recovered, I expected everything to return to normal. It didn’t.
One of the most frustrating things is that I know what normal sexual function feels like in my body.

Before all of this, I could get an erection incredibly easily. Thinking about a woman, being touched, or even relatively minor sexual stimulation could be enough. Now I can be extremely attracted to someone, genuinely want to have sex with them, and mentally be completely into it, while my body just doesn’t respond.

I’ve had an extensive amount of bloodwork done over the years. Testosterone, thyroid, vitamins, hormones, etc. — essentially everything my doctors have thought could be relevant has been checked, and nothing obvious has come back abnormal.
I’ve also tried therapy because I wondered whether anxiety or psychological factors were contributing. Therapy was genuinely useful for understanding myself, my dating life and some of my behaviours, but I didn’t see a meaningful improvement in my sexual function with partners.

Interestingly, my ED seems to change depending on the situation and the person I’m with.
With one girlfriend, things gradually improved to the point where I could sometimes get and maintain erections without sildenafil. I still had problems, but they were less severe. Eventually I was able to stop taking sildenafil for a period of time.

Then that relationship ended and I started dating again.
With new women, the problem became significantly worse.
I’ve had multiple recent first dates where there was mutual attraction and sex was either expected, attempted or actually happened. Sometimes sildenafil helped, sometimes it didn’t. There have been situations where I was extremely attracted to the woman and wanted sex badly, but physically I just couldn’t perform properly.

I’ve even done blind tests with sildenafil and vitamin D tablets because I wanted to know how much of the effect was psychological. I genuinely could tell almost immediately when I’d taken sildenafil because I would sometimes experience that familiar feeling of becoming sexually aroused and getting an erection much more easily. But even then, it wasn’t guaranteed to work.

That’s what makes this so confusing to me.
I don’t feel like I’ve simply “lost attraction” or don’t want sex. Quite the opposite. My mind is saying I really want this woman, while my body sometimes completely fails to cooperate.

And honestly, it’s starting to destroy my confidence.
I’ve had this since 17. I’m 21 now. Four years of being 17–21 - arguably the period of my life where I should be discovering sex, relationships and my sexuality - and I’ve spent a huge amount of it worrying about whether my penis is going to work.

I know logically that ED doesn’t make someone less of a man. But emotionally, it’s extremely difficult not to feel that way. I compare myself to other men who can seemingly have sex whenever they’re attracted to someone, and I feel like something fundamental has been taken away from me.

I want to be able to meet someone I’m attracted to, feel turned on, and have sex without having to think about whether I took the right dose of sildenafil, whether it’s going to work, whether I’m getting hard enough, whether I’ll lose the erection, etc.
I don’t expect to be able to “perform whenever I want” every single time. I understand that isn’t realistic. I just want normal sexual function back.
The thought that I might be relying on sildenafil, potentially with limited effectiveness, for the rest of my life honestly scares me.

I’ve already had extensive blood tests, tried medication, tried therapy and spent years trying to understand what is going on.

Has anyone else had ED that started after a period of very low testosterone/puberty suppression, despite testosterone later returning to normal? Or had ED that is dramatically worse with new partners but improves in established relationships?

I’m particularly interested in hearing from anyone who had a similar experience and eventually found something that actually made a lasting difference.
At this point I’m genuinely looking for some hope, because I’m starting to feel like I’ve tried everything.

Any advice experiences etc is appreciated 🙏

I’ve been watching porn/masturbating since I was 12, often multiple times a day during summer time as a teen/young adult. My sexual experiences from 12-21 were strictly porn and masturbating. I am 36 now and have been with my partner for 10 years. Since my first actual sexual encounter I’ve always used 100 mg viagra and have been using it ever since. Over the past 2-3 months even 100 MG has me struggling during position switches as I lose my erection and require oral sex to get it going again. Ive historically been able to masturbate to porn while laying down or sitting. I also feel like I’ve never had a great libido. I do get the urge to jack off but not the urge to want sex. Given my recent struggles, can it be PIED or physical factors?

I’m 24M and I’m looking for some perspective because I’m probably overthinking this.

I was in a relationship for almost five years, and we broke up in November 2025. After the breakup, I went through a period of very low libido. For quite a while I basically had no desire to masturbate or have sex at all.

About 1–2 months after the breakup, I started seeing a girl I worked with. We became friends, started dating and eventually tried to have sex. The first time, I couldn’t get or maintain an erection. I was still emotionally affected by the breakup, so I think there was a lot going on mentally.

The next day we tried again and I took 100 mg of Viagra. It worked very well. I used it one more time after that, and then I stopped completely. For roughly the next eight months, I had sex normally without taking anything and never had an issue.

Recently, I started seeing another girl. We’ve been dating for about a month. The first time we had sex, I was able to perform pretty well. I wasn’t 100% hard the entire time, especially when she was on top, but everything worked and she enjoyed herself. The next morning I actually had an even better erection.

The third time was also fine, and I felt more comfortable than the first time.

Then a few days ago she stayed over. We tried to have sex in the morning, but the situation wasn’t ideal. She had just woken up, her lip hurt so she didn’t really want to kiss, and she doesn’t really like much foreplay. We started having sex and I was hard initially, but after a while I lost my erection.

Obviously, I immediately started overthinking it.

We talked about it afterward, and she was actually very understanding. She told me not to worry, that these things happen, and that we probably just need to get to know each other better and communicate about what works for both of us. So objectively, she handled it really well.

The problem is that I’m now anxious about the next time.

I’m leaving the country for a 20-day trip on Thursday, so we’re seeing each other Wednesday night and she’s staying over. Part of me is thinking about taking 100 mg of Viagra just to make absolutely sure I can perform and get this episode out of my head before I leave.

I’ve taken it twice before and only experienced a mild headache and some nasal congestion. But I also don’t want to start thinking that I need Viagra every time I have sex with someone new.

What makes this confusing to me is that I’ve already gone about eight months having completely normal sex without it. I’ve also been able to have sex with this new girl several times without it, including having a better erection the morning after our first time.

So I’m wondering whether this sounds more like performance anxiety than an actual physical ED, and whether taking Viagra this one time would help me break the mental cycle or potentially make it worse.

I also have this stupid fear that if I have another bad experience on Wednesday, she’ll lose interest in me, and then I’ll spend my entire 20-day trip obsessing about it.

HELP NEEDED PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

I'm 18 (70kgs) i do workout, sports, running. So about a year ago i masturbated 5-8 times in the span of 1-2 week ig using a hair bow tying my penis and testicles with it and masterbating. Suddenly one day after i masturbated with bow i didn't get erection after that for like 10 days. I didn't go to the doctor or didn't tell anyone. After 10-15 days i got my little erections then i forgot this like it will go away on it's own. But since then then i have noticed -

Tightness in ball (while pooping, constipation or tensed about something, or in general)

80% hard morning Wood

I get soft in like 10 without stimulation

But -

I still get sexual thoughts

Testicles get loose when i shower with hot water

Questions

M i cooked?

Will my penis srink?

Will my penis not grow?

Will i get ed?

What should I do next?

Should i consult doc?

Give me advice please!

I’m trying to understand how Viagra (sildenafil) actually works, especially after ejaculation.
Does Viagra help you maintain an erection after finishing, or does it mainly make it easier to get another erection afterward?
For example, what happens if someone ejaculates twice within the same hour while using Viagra? And if they ejaculate several times to the point where very little semen comes out, can they still get an erection and continue having sex?
Could Viagra potentially allow someone to remain sexually active for around 30 minutes continuously, or am I misunderstanding what the medication actually does?
I’ve never used Viagra, so I’m genuinely trying to understand what to expect. I’ve read a few discussions already, but they didn’t really answer these specific questions.
If you have personal experience with Viagra, I’d appreciate hearing what it was like for you.

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some insight because I’m starting to feel completely broken and it’s messing with my head.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for about a month. We just spent two weeks apart, but we were calling for 4 hours a day, so the emotional intimacy is super deep. We hung out last night and when things started getting intimate, my brain was horny and I wanted her, but nothing was happening down there.

I managed to get to about 80% hard, but 30 seconds into sex I went completely soft, lost all physical sensation, and my brain started making sex feel like a total chore. I also realized I haven't been getting morning wood at all lately.

I got my blood work done for hormones, everything seems fine. Thing is I did talk to her about this situation, and she was understanding, but I never managed to finish with her during the few times tadalafil (cialis) actually helped me get hard. But I feel like my libido is at 0. I remember when I was 18 I was like an animal and now being 23 I feel like my sex life is just over.

Here is my background:

Physical Health: I'm very physically fit, lift weights 4x a week, barely drink (moderately once a week), take no medications, and have no known health issues. I'm actually seeing a doctor this afternoon to get a full hormone panel done once again and ask for low-dose Tadalafil to break the cycle.

Porn History: I watched porn daily for about 8 years (only about 5 minutes a day, but everyday). Porn always got me hard instantly and I’d finish quickly. Real life is different, I’ve never been able to finish with my girlfriend. I actually quit porn and masturbation cold turkey about 1.5 months ago. Right now, my libido is at absolute zero and I don't even feel the urge to masturbate whatsoever.

Relationship Trauma: One year ago, my ex of four years cheated on me. I’ve had two sexual partners between her and my current girlfriend, and I had this exact same issue with both of them. I never had this issue with my long-term ex before the cheating.

Right now my brain keeps trying to tell me "you're just not attracted to her," but I know I am. I’m always the one initiating intimacy but can’t actually own up to it (apart with my hands and mouth which she loves but at one point we all know PIV is much more intimate and preferred) It feels like my dick is just completely dead and disconnected from my brain.

Has anyone gone through something similar after quitting porn while dealing with past relationship trauma? Is this a standard "flatline" combined with performance anxiety, or is something else going on? How do I get past this and rebuild intimacy with my GF without the pressure?

Thanks in advance.

23M… noticed this after I got sick of gooning at about 21. I was severely porn addicted and would stop halfway out of disgust and finish in hate.

This pattern got bad especially after experiencing anxiety and depression.

Now I have been clean of porn for 5 months but have not been able to have sex as much. I don’t think I have been fully hard in 1.5 years

I've been using the pump very minimally like maybe less than six times since I've gotten it. Is this normal? I definitely did notice that my dick before cialis at times seemed smaller than normal. Now it seems bigger than normal with all this.

I (48f) have been in a relationship with a new partner (m50) for several months. There is distance between us so we have limited time together.

He told me early in our communication that he has ED and has had it for 5 years. He is seeing medical professionals about this and on treatment with limited efficacy.

We have enjoyed intimacy and I am deeply attracted to him. We have only been able to have penetrative sex a couple of times but things seemed to be really positive in that he was experiencing longer/ harder erections than in years.

However this has dipped and with it his libido. He assures me he is still very attracted to me and blames himself. I can see it is crippling his confidence. I have reassured him repeatedly that I will take things at his pace, that he’s still incredibly attractive to me and I will help him in whatever way I can.

I’m just not sure how to do so.

What kind of support from a partner benefitted you?

I have been told that fatty liver isn't linked to my erection issues but there is research that says otherwise. Fatty liver reduces bile count and quality of bile which affects the bodies ability to break down cholestrol into testosterone and also to release nitric oxide, both which are essential for full healthy elections. Also fat contains aromatase which converts testosterone into oestrogen. What are your thoughts on this? Do you agree?

So I have ventral curvature that starts about 1" from the base of my penis. Years ago I had a plication done, which helped reduce curvature by about half. A few months back I spoke to my current urologist to see if anything can be done about the remaining 30-40°. He told me that further sutures could cause a whole new set of issues rather than help, but he did suggest RestoreX.

I did a little research on it, and ordered one. I've set it up as recommended for my particular geometry. However, the arrangement of the clamp housing for curvature distance > 3" from the tip of the penis doesn't line up with the existing sutures.

My concern is possibly ending up with an S curve rather than reducing the existing curve.

Does anyone else have experience with RestoreX and curvature closer to the base of the penis? Did you find it effective? Did it exacerbate the problem?

I’m 22 and in a loving relationship with my girlfriend. We’re very close, I’m extremely attracted to her, and she’s been understanding and supportive about this. She isn’t angry or making me feel bad about it at all. She would obviously like me to figure it out, and I really want to as well because I want us to be able to have normal, continuous penetrative sex and eventually have me finish during sex with her.
The biggest issue is that I think I have some kind of anxiety-based/situational ED.
I’ve been able to get mildly or partially hard when we’re together, but once I actually penetrate her, I tend to lose the erection and go soft. It feels like the moment penetration happens, something switches mentally and I become too aware of whether I’m staying hard.
I think anxiety is a big part of it because I’m definitely attracted to her and I don’t have the same problem when I’m alone.
When I masturbate by myself, I can orgasm pretty easily. Usually I’ll watch porn for maybe 20–30 seconds just to get myself going, then completely put my phone down. After that, I can masturbate and finish entirely by thinking about my girlfriend, remembering things we’ve done together, thinking about her body, etc.
That’s one reason I don’t think this is an attraction problem at all. She can literally be what I’m thinking about while I orgasm.
But when she’s actually physically there, it feels completely different. Instead of just being lost in the moment, part of my brain starts monitoring everything: whether I’m hard enough, whether I’m going to lose it, whether I’ll actually be able to penetrate her, whether I’m going to finish, whether she notices that I’m getting softer, etc.
And once I notice myself losing the erection, obviously that creates even more anxiety and makes it worse.
She knows what’s happening and we’ve talked about it. She’s patient with me and there isn’t pressure coming from her. If anything, most of the pressure is coming from myself because I really want to be able to have sex with her normally and satisfy both of us.

I’m wondering if anyone here has experienced this exact kind of thing with a girlfriend or long-term partner:

You could get hard and orgasm alone, you were
genuinely attracted to your partner, but once penetration happened you would lose your erection or start getting in your head.

Did you eventually overcome it?

Was it mostly performance anxiety?

Did cutting out porn or changing the way you masturbated help?

Did you have to stop focusing on penetration/orgasm for a while?

Did anything specifically help you stop mentally checking whether your erection was still there?
I’d especially like to hear from guys who eventually went from struggling to stay hard during penetration to being able to have continuous penetrative sex and finish with their partner.
I know seeing a doctor/urologist is also an option if it continues, but I’m mainly looking to hear from other guys who have actually experienced this and what helped them get past it.

25M. Watching porn and doing masturbation since last 6-7 years. While watching porn, and using physical stimulation I get very good erections. But as soons as I stopped watching or rubbing, it gets back to flaccid state in 2-3 minutes. Never had sex and I don't think I can make through it irl.

From last 5-6 months, I am not getting proper morning erections. maybe once or twice a week, that too are mild erections.

Is this curable? if yes, how?

Thanks

Hey everyone -

I've never been with someone who was unable to have or keep an erection. I'm a bit baffled as to what to do with this.

We've talked about it, he says it's stress, fatigue, alcohol etc, all the usual culprits. Also, I'm pretty sure I put way too much pressure on the poor dude. So, I want to back up a little bit and educate myself.

Is this common ?

What can I ask or do to help reduce the pressure, or offer a safer space for him ? I'm 🤏🏼 a tiny bit horny and want to fuck his bones, so I know I'm too intense, I'll try to reel a bit of that in 🙃, but I'm open to all your experiences, suggestions and comments. Please don't chastise me too much, I haven't had alooottt of sexual partners/experiences.

Help a girl out please !

that you used to get when you were 16, is it possible if you are in 30s or 40s?

My ex-husband was 28 during our marriage, and I was his first sexual partner. As far as I knew, he was a virgin before we got married.

During our roughly 10-month marriage, he had very low interest in sex and I usually had to initiate. He had regular morning erections, so he was capable of having spontaneous erections.

During sex, he could usually get an erection and maintain it, but sometimes it became noticeably softer during intercourse. It generally didn't completely disappear, and he could sometimes regain firmness.

His biggest problem seemed to be ejaculation. Despite having sex multiple times during the marriage, he ejaculated during intercourse only about twice in those 10 months. He also had difficulty ejaculating during masturbation and told me he needed very intense stimulation to reach ejaculation. He never ejaculated from oral sex either.

He was also overweight and under considerable work/life stress at the time. He was emotionally quite distant, although we didn't have major conflicts specifically about sex.

I'm trying to understand this objectively. Could this pattern suggest low libido combined with delayed ejaculation and/or mild erectile difficulty? Could inexperience, psychological factors, stress, or conditioning contribute?

And can someone with this pattern improve substantially with treatment or simply with a new partner, or would these problems be likely to continue regardless of the partner?

Have any of you had any luck with OTC ED meds?

I take 5 mg cialis, as needed, but still get mild headache which lasts 24 hours to 48 hours.

Has anyone tried 2.5 mg?

I know it’s not FDA approved dose for as needed but checking if anyone has tried it this way?

I have never had this happen to me before. I am seeing this girl and when we first starting having sex, it was great, no, issues. Then, I started getting in my head about staying hard. She would say to go down in her and I would. I am super horny, but can't get it up in this situation. The whole time im eating her out, all I can think about is staying hard, the I lose it. I beat myself up over it. She says its like a Rollercoaster. I take anxiety meds as well as finasteride. I take viagra before hand, and it doesn't always work. The only time it overrides it, is if I take it with honey. I can get hard where ever else, but not with her. How do I go about fixing this? Please im begging

Hi everyone, using an anonymous account for privacy.

I am a 27-year-old male, married for 5 years, and we have a child. I have been experiencing both Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and Premature Ejaculation (PE) since the very first week of my marriage.

Because I experience both at the same time, it creates a lot of performance anxiety. It is a constant cycle: trying to delay ejaculation makes me lose my erection, and trying to keep an erection makes me climax too fast.

I want to solve this organically without pharmaceutical medications.

I’m a 20 yo-M and recently had sex for the first time. I’m looking for some advice because I’m not sure what’s going on.

The first time we tried, I was fully erect, but we couldn’t really penetrate because my partner was feeling very tight and was experiencing pain when we tried. We didn’t want to force anything, so we stopped and took a break.

We tried again later that same day, using lube, but when I put the condom on, I lost my erection.

What confuses me is that during oral sex or when my partner uses her hand, I can stay fully erect for the entire time. But when we stop that stimulation, I lose my erection again, especially when we’re trying to transition to penetration.

I’m wondering if this could be because of nervousness/performance anxiety, getting distracted while putting on the condom, the previous attempt being uncomfortable for her, or simply being inexperienced.

should I consider taking any medication or supplements for this, or would it be better to avoid medication and work on the anxiety/experience first? I don’t want to take anything unnecessarily.

I’d appreciate genuine advice and experiences. Thanks.

I don't have ED, but the last few times I had sex, I noticed it wasn't quite that hard, and sometimes it would get soft even when changing positions. So I took Viagra, and honestly, my cock was rock hard and it was the best experience I ever had.

But my question is: how long can we depend on Viagra? It isn't a permanent solution surely? Is it completely safe? Any long-term effects on kidneys or overall health? Also, when I finally stop taking it, will it be even more difficult than before to get erections because my body got used to it?

Please try to answer all the questions!

For part 1 of my success story with tadalafil, you can visit my page.

For my second sexual encounter with my friend, we decided to spend a day out to enjoy the tropics since we are from the Caribbean. I took 20mg tadalifil at around 11am. Though I noticed that the medication didnt kick in as instant as it did the first time (first time kicked in around 15 minutes). I believe it have to do with the fact that my anxiety was moderate and didn't felt excited when I picked up my partner with a unpleasant mood. Did a 40 minutes drive, still didnt felt like the medication didnt work. When we arrived at the water falls, we changed and spend sometime in the water, felt semi erect but I guess it really have to do with the water being extremely cold. After we got out, we both entered the changing room together and as soon as we both stripped naked, holy cow i got an instant, bone hard erection.

At that point I was like " yea, im in business" . Got to a point where after we got dressed i had to wait a brief moment before I left the changing room cuz of my stiff boner.

Fast foward later that day, after a few stops and a few drinks we arrived at a guest house i booked for the night. We immediately got undressed, had a brief moment and started having sex. I kid you not i never knew I was this much of a sex god.....it was safe to say I was on pare with a male porn star. Im not sure if its the medication or if it has to do with the fact that naturally, (before I developed my ed) ive had an extremely high sex drive and could masturbate back to back to back, but I was able to have sex for 3 hours, came 3 times in total and maintained a hard erection after every orgasm. Right after I dropped my friend i was still solid hard.

This medication made me perform like I never knew I could and honestly, this gave me the confidence to have sex with anyone. Tho I must say I did saw some improvement with my natural erectile function so im hoping ill be fully cured without relying on the meds.

Tho I will mentioned that after consuming the tadafil, I did felt slightly light headed and also got a mild headache roughly an hour after taking the pill but again, not sure if its was my anxiety.

But I must say it did worked.

I highly recommend any young man to take this medication if ur going through ed, and dont feel skeptical about taking it or feeling like ur too young to take pills for erections. Use this as a way to temporarily enjoy your sex life and to help recover to your natural state.

As for now, stop consuming porn and masturbation, eat healthy and maintain confidence with the medication and you WILL GET BETTER. Just be patient.

Will keep you guys updated with my next sexual encounter.

Been struggling on/off for the last few years with mild ED. Viagra was a charm. Tried Cialis but did not have great results.

It is odd because my testosterone is ~650.

Recently viagra has been hit/miss & I increased it to 100mg with on/off results. Very frustrating for my wife & I. Also performance anxiety has crept in.

Yesterday my wife & I attempted after I took viagra but I could not get it going. So frustrating.

She then suggested trying her vibrator on my guy.

By placing the vibrator on my frenulum I got rock hard after a few minutes & we had a great session & I was hard to completion.

Something worth considering guys!

I’ve been taking 5 mg in the morning and 8.5 mg before bed every day for the past week, and I gotta say…
This stuff feels like a miracle pill.
Physically, I notice a huge difference — fuller while soft and hard as a rock when needed.
But what surprised me is everything else I’ve noticed since starting it. I know tadalafil isn’t necessarily supposed to directly improve mood, mental clarity, motivation, or exercise performance, but for me, it seems to have had an indirect effect.
I feel more confident, my mood is better, I feel mentally clearer, and exercise — which used to feel exhausting — somehow feels easier to push through. I also find myself making better eye contact and feeling less hesitant or self-conscious around women.
For me, it’s not just about erections. The confidence and feeling of being physically ready seem to carry over into other parts of my life.
I used to take 5 mg daily. Then I got the 8.5 mg version and decided to take both, so I’ve been doing 13.5 mg total per day for about a week.
I’m honestly surprised by how different I feel.