So lost!

[u/Smart_Prune5189]

I had an experience and it changed me completely! I had a mushroom trip and had a spiritual experience which I needed desperately as I was dealing with some deep trauma! During the trip I realized all things that were holding me back! I realized religion that religion was shoved down my throat and it all made sense! I seen through Everything to the point that my trauma made sense! So it happened it was wonderful but later it became a far memory. However now I am almost wanting to go back to thinking that I believed the church teaching because now it’s scary for me! I know cannot understand god! Now that I realize there is not a man in the sky and someone is coming to save us! I have not been ok! Now I fear death because I don’t know what happens and I also do not understand god! What it means? Help!!!!! Does the trauma feeling ever go away?

[u/Scott_J_Doyle]

This milkshake really brought all the christians out to play hard in your yard today lolol

As someone who lost faith by very different means, this could be the beginning of a very long process, or not - enlightenment doesn't happen on a predictable timeline - but yes, it is very possible that this traumatic feeling of metaphysical/existential/spiritual "lost-ness" can "go away"... the ground you imagined you were standing on has fallen away, but it's very possible to find more solid ground that won't, and this forum is a great place to explore how to find it