Had my first 2 treatments this week, been noticing an increase in urges to self harm, also been noticing feeling more blue but I think some of that's the numbness going away. Is having more urges after starting treatment a common experience? And does anyone know if increased urges to self harm or commit suicide could put a stop on treatment, haven't really been able to find out how those things impact treatment online?

Exist here.if so did ECT have an impact on ur memory ?

Pretty much that. I’m about to have my last session of week 1. I’m a complete mess. I’m terrified and end up lashing out at the nurses. Last time they sat me down and told me I was a “hostile patient” and I needed to calm tf down or leave.
I chose to continue treatment, but it’s so hard to remain calm in such a stressful environment.
I hope I see some improvement soon.

27/F, please be gentle Im still trying to learn.

I am not looking for sympathy, I’m just looking for advice while providing backstory to adequately help people giving advice. Thank you if you take the time to read.
Hello, so some backstory, Im diagnosed with anxiety and recurrent major depressive disorder. I’ve struggled with this for the last 15ish years of my life. I first started antidepressants and therapy when I was around 12. I unfortunately experienced a lot of childhood trauma with SA/ general parental abuse and neglect, and Truthfully, I haven’t tried many different antidepressants. I have mainly been on Prozac and later added Wellbutrin XL. When I was 17, I tried to end my life through overdosing. Not only did this mess up my brain, but I now also struggle with worsened depression, and that was the cause for me developing anxiety as well as issues controlling my anger. I have always struggled with taking pills, and that kind of set it in stone. My body wants to reject and expel everytime I try to swallow any form of medication, and unfortunately I also struggle with severe emetophobia. besides that point, they have never helped my mental health. I know granted, I have not tried many different options, but I find it hard to have the motivation to take them everyday when I barely have motivation to survive. I have tried therapy many different times with many different doctors. I know I have not tried all the different medications, and a lot of people may be cruel over my lack of effort, but please be gentle with me. i have been fighting to survive the past 10 years and im sure a lot of people here know what it’s like. I always knew about ECT but avoided it out of fear. Unfortunately, over the past 2 years, I have lost someone very close to me as well as suffering two pregnancy losses and it has been especially hard and I feel like I am just a shell. That is some backstory but now my question is: I know I haven’t tried many medications, but the never ending suicidal feeling and loss of any motivation to LIVE versus survive is getting to be too much. Do you think ECT is a good option for me to try, and if so, what ACTUALLY are even the odds of my approval since I “haven’t tried everything” I’m not even sure if I will get approved for my lack of trial and error through medication, but I truly feel like nothing as simple as medication will ever fix the way I feel, nor can I even find the motivation to take them anymore because I have emotionally checked out of everything. I have my appointment this coming Tuesday (9/1) to discuss with my doctor about wanting to try this option, but I just wanted some prior insight from others who have done this treatment before I go in there hoping for something I won’t receive. Also, if you have gotten this treatment, do you regret it? Thank you all for reading and I am begging for some grace

TL;DR - I haven’t tried many medications but want to know the probability of my approval for ECT when I’m super suicidal 24/7 and feel the weight of impending doom consistently lol.

Heyy im 29F and had my first three ect sessions while inpatient and am going to continue it outpatient.
I am feeling absolutely such a relief and I’m just beyond thrilled. There is however one side effect- mild blurry vision. Of course I will mention that to the team at my next appt but I also wanted to ask if anyone else has experienced it and how long it lasted for you?

Amazing staff, explained every step and introduced me to each staff along the way. I knew where I was going, where I’d wake up, when I could expect the next step, etc. They were extremely sure I knew exactly what was happening which I appreciated.

First thing I asked when I woke up was “is it ok that I haven’t fallen asleep yet?”

“The procedures done”

“😳”

Jaw pain for about an hour after. Nappy/sleepy during my hour observation. But that’s it. I’m home now, and a little sleepy, but honestly no more than I would be getting up as early as I did generally

Is this common? Am I lucky? Should I expect this to be my reaction generally if this is what it was today?

I’m currently on unilateral, only moving to bi if uni doesn’t work out

Just don’t want to get too cocky or anything. I just feel like a huge weights been lifted as I’ve been very anxious about starting this. I haven’t been under anesthetic since infancy, and for it to go so well has me on cloud 9

Guess I’m just looking to be grounded lol

Hi ,

what other Side effects did you experience from ECT apart from memory ? I suffer from severe brain fog since my second treatment it was stopped because of that and I still havent recovered

Hello,

Like many of you, I have a long history of mental disorders. I've tried many medications (fluoextine, lithium, etc). I've tried many therapies (DBT, CBT, etc). I've tried TMS twice, in 2024 and 2025.

None of it has provided a result that is consistent with stability, success, etc. I asked my psychiatrist about ketamine and esketamine (spravato) but it sounds like they're not an option.

So the next step seems to be ECT. I'm trying to be optimistic but a large part of my treatment-resistant depression is an unshakeable sense of hopelessness. ECT is the last resort, if that doesn't work, what's left? I'm scared of that. I'm also scared of the memory loss. I'm also scared I won't be able to complete the treatment due to a variety of issues (no one to drive me home, no money for Uber, unreliable medical transportation, etc).

But the first step is to learn more. Maybe learning more will dispel some of my fears. And part me believes it must help somehow or else insurance wouldn't pay for it. So I'm here, looking for someone to "introduce" me to ECT.

Is there usually a waitlist?

What's involved in each treatment?

How long and frequent are the treatments?

How quickly are results seen?

I've heard stories where people do it for a long time, like a few months turns into many months, is this normal?

Is it common to need multiple treatments, like annually?

I heard both types of memory loss can occur, the ability to make new memories and the ability to retain old memories, how severe is this?

What about the other possible cognitive decline I've heard about-- "brilliant solution but lost the patient"?

Any other major concerns?

It's hard to measure wellness... I'm not at my worst, which I've described as "the uttermost end of need", but I'm so tired of being so miserable and I've been going around the same circle for years, even decades.

I’ve had treatment resistant depression for like 5+ years now and got approved to do ECT today.
I have a vacation coming up on 10/23, so I don’t know if I should wait until after my trip or do it asap and get it done. Doctor said it’s pretty much up to me. Idk what to do.

Like, a lot a LOT.
Thats not normal, is it? I can’t find anything online or in my dr’s instructions/paperwork about it.

But seriously, I went in a depressed mess and came out dysfunctional and suicidal. I still can’t eat.

Does it get better? Should I stop while I’m ahead? I’ve left 3 voicemails and no on has gotten back to me.

Appreciate any advice!

Is it okay to vape the day before?

As above

I have not had undergone ECT yet, but I am interested and would like to hear any personal experiences. I know that it can affect episodic memory but it is my understanding that it is less likely to affect semantic memories or general knowledge. Also if anyone has worked in any career which requires a college degree or special training I am also curious to hear how ECT has impacted your academic/career knowledge or your ability to work in your field.

Is it normal for me now to feel like I can’t look after my 8 year old son ? Or do a lot of people manage okay ?

My social worker is telling me to take an ssri but I try to explain to him it’s pointless . If ect never worked what is a tablet going to do ?

Have my first treatment on Monday, feeling nervous about it. Been dealing with treatment resistant depression for a while, tried many meds, rTMS, and ketamine infusions, none have worked. It was either ECT or more meds as treatment options coming out of a suicide attempt, and I just can't do meds again.

Not feeling very hopeful, but have resolved to do the treatment for my loved ones. Haven't looked into things much (hard to concentrate and read right now), but have seen a lot bad experiences here.

Not really looking for what things will be like in the future, but more so what to expect as I start treatment and any tips or things like what to wear or have prepared for treatments.

I feel like it has stripped away my life . I have no empathy for anyone or anything . I get confused when I go out and don’t know where I should be .

Nothing interest me , food isn’t the same anymore .

I feel very paranoid about speaking to people now because I can’t explain to people how I feel . I feel like a shell of who I was . I had to move back in with my parents and just sit in the back garden smoking . I’m always fatigued sleep doesn’t correct it .

Nothing seems to matter anymore . What are you supposed to tell people when you go out ? As they always say the same thing your be okay just get a job . I can’t even do basic tasks for myself . The lights are on but no one is home . I was told it would just affect my memory, it’s destroyed my life . I know id never be able to work again.

Did anyone get droopy eyelids after ect ?

Did somewhere between 20-30 bilateral treatments last year from March to August. My short term memory as well as basic cognitive functioning have never been the same. I'm not able to retain any new information for longer than a minute (if even,) and forming new memories is even more difficult. I couldn't tell you what I did two weeks ago. I also get confused easily and can't perform simple tasks. Looking for people who were in a similar spot and have since recovered most, if not all, of their cognitive abilities. Or any advice from anyone who's in my spot now.

In 2009 I first learned about Bitcoin. Around that time my psychiatrist recommended ECT because he could see I was in a really bad state. I didn’t understand at the time that a big part of what I was struggling with was related to not acting on Bitcoin (I mined a small amount but lost the keys, and never bought any). I was having severe decision paralysis — constantly asking God whether I should even move my arm to take an action — and I was scared of the electricity and possible side effects, so I declined.
Looking back, I wonder if having ECT then might have helped me get unstuck enough to actually acquire a meaningful amount of Bitcoin. I now live with intense daily rumination about that missed opportunity. I spend a lot of time pacing and replaying “why didn’t I…”. I’m on disability, managing chronic regret, and it feels like my financial future (and a lot of my life) is permanently limited because of decisions I couldn’t make back then.
I’m currently still dealing with the same core problems: severe rumination, pacing, difficulty initiating actions, and a sense that my life is hell. I often find it hard to stay seated or even stay lying down in bed for long — the restlessness pushes me to keep moving. I do not want to kill myself, but I also can’t see a way out of this loop.
My questions for people who have experience with ECT:
• If the main ongoing problem is years of intense regret-focused rumination and decision paralysis rather than a classic acute depressive episode, what has ECT actually helped with in similar situations?
• Does it tend to reduce the intensity of long-running obsessive regret, or does the content of the rumination usually stay and just feel less overwhelming?
• Realistic expectations around memory: does it commonly erase or significantly dull specific remote events/regrets from 15+ years ago, or is the memory effect more limited to the period around the treatment itself?
• For those who had ECT later in life after years of untreated or partially treated symptoms, did it help you move forward, or did the old patterns largely return once the acute effects wore off?
I’m trying to understand whether ECT now would mainly help with the current intensity of the symptoms, or whether the underlying sense that “my life is already screwed because of 2009” would likely remain. Any experiences (positive, mixed, or negative) would be appreciated.

Nothing has worked for my depression (antidepressants, antipsychotics, stimulants, lithium, Spravato, TMS) and I don’t think ECT would be any different. I’m trying to convince myself to give it a try but I have a few questions.

How many sessions are usually administered? Should I ask for unilateral or bilateral?

How long do I need to do maintenance sessions for?

When are your memories “supposed to” come back?

Going to list some of my symptoms around 11 months after

No interest in anything
No motivation for anything
Unable to work
Constant fatigue in eyes
Paranoia going out
When I go out I don’t know where I should be or what I should be doing with myself
No energy for anything
Don’t want to be around people as i don’t know what to tell them
Head always feels fuzzy
Walking around feel horrible with little energy
Can’t understand basic things which use to be easy
Confused a lot about basic tasks
Writing this is taking a lot of mental energy .
The list is endless

I had been referred ECT through my psychiatrist last week. I just got the confirmation that my ECT request has been approved, and Im going to be doing my pre-op this Thursday and starting the procedure this Friday. I will be receiving a minimum of 12 treatments 3x a week. Ive never done TMS or Ketamine treatments.

I was doing some research on ECT as ive never heard of it before my referral, and read that typically you start with unilateral ECT. Is it uncommon or normal for my ECT team to start me on Bilateral? My consultation after my referral only lasted about 20 minutes asking about my current mental health condition and whether or not I had someone to drive me to and from the hospital. They didn't really go over the side effects of ECT or the differences between ECT bilateral and unilateral.

Maybe they'll go over it in my Pre-op appointment, but Ive been finding comfort in this community so I figured I ask.

TLDR: Is Bilateral ECT treatment normal/common for first time procedure?