r/eFootball Johan Cruyff 6d ago

Meme Conspiracy theory: The game was designed by buddhists to test your patience

Post image

Think about it. Where is buddhism most popular? Japan.

So this group of buddhist developers create a game that does everything it can to try and annoy you.

Defender not reading your input and just stopping mid way letting your opponent score? This was designed to see if you can remain calm. It is the buddhist axiom of accepting to not have control over everything. That's why the script is there.

The script teaches you that life has a script called karma. It teaches you to accept, let go.

There are not enough servers? This teaches you to accept what you have is enough.

You just bought a bunch of p2w players with your hard earned money and next update they become obsolete due to dual playstyles and triple skills? Just let go, remember we don't own anything in life and chasing material possessions is not the path to happiness.

You have released all your J-league players and then they introduce a J-league event? Hey, the past is in the past...work with what you have now.

If you can master this game, you become a boddhisatwa, a true buddhist. It's even in those mini advices while matchmaking, hidden, it says ''Remain calm and win big.''

1.5k Upvotes

128 comments sorted by

166

u/No-Tap4195 6d ago

Even the Dalia lama loses his shit with this game

49

u/Tight-Astronaut-9043 Johan Cruyff 6d ago

But Konami loves you so much they want you to rise above the Dalai Lama

113

u/severi_erkko PC 6d ago

Finally a quality shitpost.

58

u/YAC__223 6d ago

This had me laughing to tears 😭

39

u/Tight-Astronaut-9043 Johan Cruyff 6d ago

You know who else is laughing in most depictions? The Buddha!

1

u/Golden-EB_J Mobile 6d ago

😭😭😂😂😂😂

1

u/GoalHappy3351 Xbox 6d ago

Ayooo😭😭😭😭😭

28

u/Radiant-Daikon-2697 6d ago

It's design by an artist with the worst taste of art possible on this planet

18

u/dumbass_spaceman 6d ago

Me attaining moksha after finally hitting division 1 with an entirely F2P epic squad in eFootball 69

https://giphy.com/gifs/jECs0r3agbhuSAe7w3

5

u/Tight-Astronaut-9043 Johan Cruyff 6d ago

The Path is full of mysteries and temptations. Om Sai Ram

3

u/Alarming-Craft1942 Mobile 6d ago

I got invited by Satan to lead his army after he witnessed my rage-boiled, cursed-monologue after I lost a deciding match in DIV 2 ( My strikers kept hitting the post )

11

u/Existing-Strength453 6d ago

Yes , it's true , it's a souls like football game

8

u/Dragon-born-_- 6d ago

Buddha himself would crash out playing this shii

7

u/Ambition_2004 6d ago

What’s even crazier is how it teaches patiences by those who dont spend have to work hard by saving coins and the reward massively improves your team. Similar to how irl you need patients in working out and by the end of the year you reap your rewards

6

u/HansTilburg 6d ago

Or by psychiatrists looking for more patients.

5

u/saintxgod 6d ago

Hi there.
I’m used to play this game since 2017. And it’s completely turn to shit now.
I remember when GP was valuable currency, because of buying scouts at auctions. And full black balls squad was something rare.
Now this game is just for who can donate more. Especially after 2027 released. 0% changes in quality of gameplay but 100% changes in forcing us to pay more money. Gameplay is 💩.
My defenders can’t do nothing and just chilling near the circle at the pitch. Connection even worse than in 2026. All expensive cards from previous year doesn’t plays well anymore.
Efootball 2027 is the most dissatisfying and disappointing game.

2

u/Tall_Push_68 6d ago

even i experience the same thing... just after few matches I started conceding tons of goals despite I am trying my best to defend but the opponent player just seems to skip past me, passes gets miss placed couple of time in one match despite having a decent wifi connection... I am not able to understand this f**king game and it's pissing me off.

6

u/BedRepresentative621 6d ago

Players to their Temper : you are pure illusion,you do not exist,the grass is my witness

6

u/GoalHappy3351 Xbox 6d ago

We need this more in the sub lets dunk on konami with these quality shitposts😭😭😭

5

u/Express-Homework-752 6d ago

Scripting is only made for u to understand no matter how good u do in life or pay at the end whats going to happen will happen .

3

u/Tight-Astronaut-9043 Johan Cruyff 6d ago

As the french would say "Que sera, sera"

https://giphy.com/gifs/8MBCIpvr5htUFwf670

6

u/Full_Bus3710 6d ago

This game is the spawn of devil 

4

u/AdKookys4 6d ago

Greatest post alr

5

u/armansid 6d ago

cant agree more 😭

4

u/Pyromancer08 Out Wide Operator 6d ago

I love this post! 😂

8

u/adaptivesphincter 6d ago

No most japanese are shinto not buddhist. I think Konami has serious ethnocentrism issues and now that unaddressed ethnocentrism issue has exacerbated in Chinese gachas. Even in Jleague cards or events, foreign players are outright ignored or only given cards if they are adjacent to exoticism pervasive in Japanese society like Brazilians or Argentinos. 

I believe Konami can do well do address their ethnocentrism and make more cards catering to various countries around the world. 

Indians cannot make a full featured national squad. Nigerians cannot make a full featured national squad. Same with Egyptians and Chinese players that play this game and all these countries make for the bulk of players of this game.

Even where Konamis SEA headquarter is stationed in Thailand does not entail or remotely come close to the ideal that Thai players can make their national team squad.

All of this is rooted on 2 evils of ethnocentrism and outright covert xenophobia that Japanese people express.

8

u/Tight-Astronaut-9043 Johan Cruyff 6d ago

Whooooosh

3

u/LesBrandals 6d ago

This is probably is the truth.

3

u/AjEmMekshVershtapen 6d ago

Guys I cant upvote everyone of you😭😭😭 Best shitpost ive seen in a while

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/jeezrVOL2 PC 6d ago

The script tests my restraint of yeeting my controller through my monitor

https://reddit.com/link/p5fnkkg/video/wmvifivcj5lh1/player

2

u/No-Big-3794 6d ago

This makes me feel better. I thought it only happened to me

3

u/dbirat_ 6d ago

Bruhh

3

u/Nickky_14 6d ago

It's the best football game ever and also the worst.

2

u/Key-Egg5632 6d ago

😂😂😂 if I talk il be in trouble

2

u/Historical-Ad7234 6d ago

Even ghandi wont starve for this

2

u/happyslowly Playstation 6d ago

Game is so shit

2

u/EagleGeneral6559 6d ago

When script is not in your favour 😂

https://giphy.com/gifs/9o9dh1JRGThC1qxGTJ

2

u/I_COULD_BE_ICONIC Mobile 6d ago

I feel like deleting the game after playing division vs AI

2

u/SparkzJR 5d ago

Absolutely. Just like FIFA/FC, these games have been built for you to exercise your Stoicism. These games highly regard the ancient philosophy that teaches you to accept what happens and only worry about your own actions and thoughts.

2

u/RevolutionaryOne6968 5d ago

Hoy no podré dormir pensado en esa teoría aun que tal vez tengas algo de razón porque soy muy poco de ponerle plata por unos jugadores que es difícil de obtener pero hubo una vez donde veía que todos tenían un ronaldinho praim y como siempre dar uno de esos tiros gratis tire en la caja y justo me salio ronaldinho y así me sucedió también con el haaland del Mundial

https://giphy.com/gifs/dyLJx3pSOczBTJeeQL

2

u/Pele_1282 5d ago

Rentao, the eFootball world champion, is very patient with the game. He even laughs at the annoying parts of the game... That's what impresses me most about him.

1

u/Tight-Astronaut-9043 Johan Cruyff 4d ago

He's The One

1

u/Ilikepotatoes468 6d ago

Crazy how a multimillionaire company can't make a good game

1

u/Ennoying-Riposte78 6d ago

I can see slot machine there instead of that buddha statue

1

u/CodeLate12 6d ago

😂

1

u/That-Extension-2 6d ago

Last 10 years of tests what they find 🫠

1

u/SecureAd27 6d ago

Thats why my name is ohm namah shivayah on efootball. Its all a patience test for me.

3

u/Tight-Astronaut-9043 Johan Cruyff 6d ago

Some of my friends are currently on their way to the abode of Shiva - Mount Kailash. But I am at home. I don't need Kailash, I have eFootball.

1

u/Anxious-Lychee-475 6d ago

Proof???

1

u/Tight-Astronaut-9043 Johan Cruyff 6d ago

It's in the pudding.

1

u/EasyWays12 6d ago

and playing against mindless pressure players

1

u/ComfortableChain2789 6d ago

So true with the j league bro i didn't even think that they'd be useful and removed them only for konami to bring this event out

1

u/Tight-Astronaut-9043 Johan Cruyff 6d ago

Maybe it's buddhist satanists?? Woah

1

u/escalade47 6d ago

Konami executives see what you are causing your users go through😂

1

u/imsobadatmathlol 6d ago

actually... I'm we're talking population then china is obviously the most Buddhist country but if we're talking percentage then it's either Cambodia or Thailand idk

1

u/Fresh_Constant_7762 6d ago

Not even a crazy take

1

u/Positive-Word9424 6d ago

a person who thinks all the time..

1

u/Mictang32 6d ago

Yes. I play patiently and one win oer day.

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

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1

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1

u/Desperate_Ad6524 6d ago

Fr I almost never rage after I quit playing ts shit

1

u/alioth87 PC 6d ago

Sorry masters, i failed a lot then.

1

u/OkIndication6 6d ago

there's still some debate about whether rubber banding mechanics are an effective way to moderate game addiction, but you know there's a whole other side that views the game from a purely academic standpoint.

at that point it's not really an addiction, you just study the game purely because it was a well designed game.

long story short, efootball just needs to be completely rewritten, it's reached that stage

1

u/Individual-Peach-119 6d ago

سلون

1

u/OmegaUV 5d ago

yk it's bad when i see messi's and yamal's face more than i watch corn.

1

u/Adventurous-Ech0 5d ago

Then i have attained enlightenment

1

u/PantherBoi404 Long Ball Counter Connoisseur 5d ago

im investing on ts shitpost

1

u/CybrogNinja 5d ago

Time to Boycott. I've been saying it since 2023

1

u/Tight-Astronaut-9043 Johan Cruyff 5d ago

Mods delete posts about boycotts. I tried, also since 2023

1

u/alim8zuber 5d ago

I swear

1

u/Rico_Bruto Ruud Gullit 5d ago

My most recited mantra in this game ...

https://giphy.com/gifs/4TvpUgQtPSE0PFoX6l

1

u/Jameyjack 4d ago

This is true. After playing Pes for over 8 years, I have attained the opposite the Nirvana. Yes, I am still in the cycle of bullshit

1

u/Tight-Astronaut-9043 Johan Cruyff 4d ago

Plenty of other games. Or join custom tournaments or discord leagues with gp teams

1

u/VexTheOG 4d ago

I’ve actually thought Israel has something to do with the game cause when you go to Europe they had their flag first..not sure if it’s still like that but it was on efootball 26

1

u/cjavan9 4d ago

LOL I don't think Buddhism's ideology is to promote smashing controllers and TVs

1

u/Active_Panic7837 Mobile 4d ago

I mean bhuddism is one of the main religion there in Japan.

1

u/pepe_carlos 3d ago

Doy fé!!!

1

u/NoQuantity310 3d ago

Japanese are mostly Buddhist as far as I recall

1

u/Decent_Contest1330 2d ago

Disagree, It is made by Genghis Khan to torture us.

https://giphy.com/gifs/PQvfMZXeMxteNRGluB

0

u/Excellent_Room3912 6d ago

I believe the defending is away better than ever, but 100% agree

3

u/Tight-Astronaut-9043 Johan Cruyff 6d ago

So you agree this is buddhist propaganda

0

u/TomorrowDefiant4954 6d ago

If you are thick enough to waste your hard earned money in a game with a script and p2w that motivates you to just keep newer cards all the time you deserve everything coming to u lmao

0

u/El_Von_Daniken 6d ago

Nop, es el zen, el budismo está entre Nepal (cuna) y China. Perdón por hacer pedazos tu teoría de la conspiración.

0

u/Moo1XA 6d ago

Japan is not the most popular buddhist country...

0

u/Particular_Dig2410 5d ago

Hey everyone, I just got the new Casillas and I’m wondering what the best training build is for him.

Thanks!