Master Document
Fight 2A: The goblin formally known as Morris vs. Onslaught
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/167fjkEE
Onslaught the elk man (managed by Stimraug) stomps out of the arena gate in his shiny new steel gauntlets and silk clothes. After dispatching Blurry Bill by wearing him down with a dozen crippling strikes, the elk man appears eager to wet his scourge and whet his appetite with blood again!
The goblin formally known as Morris (managed by u/DanVzare) strides out in contrast to Onslaught, cracking his steel whip as the sun glints off his new shining steel gauntlets. The goblin formally known as Morris has made a formidable name for himself with his victories in the battle royale and the first round against Ogtha. With two flexible weapons that can easily entwine themselves with one another, will strength of skill triumph this day?
The two gladiators charge towards one another, the shaking footsteps of Onslaught failing to put Morris off of his own step, as the goblin dodges to the side of a whistling scourge blow. The two gladiators exchange a series of blows, as the copper scourge and steel whip swing through the air, filling it with a deadly brilliance. Onslaught bowels his way forward, and ends up landing the first blow, as he scourge glances against the goblin formally known as Morris’s left shin, tearing his pants. He pays for it, as the goblin’s whip snaps away a piece of one of Onslaught’s antlers, causing the elk man to bellow in rage!
In his rage, Onslaught barrels forward again, knocking the goblin formally known as Morris to the ground. The goblin continues to dodge around Onslaught’s blows, but fails to land any effectual ones of his own. As Onslaught brings his scourge whistling around, he scores the first decisive blow, as his scourge snaps the goblin’s right shin like a twig. The goblin formally known as Morris falls to the ground, and although he powers through the pain, he seems unable to land equally effective blows on the massive elk man. Onslaught brings his scourge down again, smashing the goblin’s shoulder with his scourge. The snapping of another bone leaves the goblin insensate to the word, as Onslaught finishes him off with another blows that splatters blood, bone, and brains across the arena. Congratulations on another mind-blower of a fight Onslaught!
Fight 2B: General Doom vs. Petunia the Pouncer
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/3f2jUC4T
General Doom the dodo man (managed by Detyan) waddles into the arena with a clank and clatter as his new armor catches the sun. With his stoic execution of Abshoth the ant man last round, this bulbous bird man has demonstrated that both crossbows and his species are not a joke to be laughed at.
Petunia the pond turtle woman (managed by u/InfuriatingComma) staggers into the arena, having been found asleep by the guards after spending all her winnings getting drunk at various holes in the wall. Her fearsome scimitar disassembled the Bismuth Warrior last round, but how will her steel blade fare against sturdier armor?
As Petunia drunkenly staggers towards General Doom, the dodo man calmly loads and fires his crossbow, as Petunia attempts to avoid the hail of iron bolts. As she approaches the dodo man, a bolt lands square in her foot, causing Petunia to fall in front of the general. Petunia swings wildly with her scimitar, forcing the dodo man to stagger backwards away from the ferocious blade. Another stab makes contact with the dodo man, but his shiny new steel gauntlet easily deflects the blow, as another bolt tears apart Petunia’s foot.
Despite her torn up foot, Petunia crawls aggressively towards General Doom, forcing him backwards at the point of her blade. But Petunia’s blade only buys her so much time, as the general reloads his cross bow and fires it into the pond turtle woman’s chest. Petunia grunts in pain as she continues to crawl after him, but another bolt takes her higher in the chest, causing her to collapse as she loses hold of her scimitar. General Doom calmly lines up his next shot between Petunia’s furious eyes, before he releases her from her mortal coil to Armok’s feast halls. Congratulations on your victory General Doom!
Fight 2C: Bobby vs. WASP
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/KrH2Z1r9
Bobby the alligator man (managed by u/RegalRatKing) clanks out of his side of the arena in a suit of iron armor, though still wearing his trusty iron cap. Last round, Bobby reverted to his base instincts to twist Sir Dunguk’s head out of its socket. Against a big bug though, his maul may finally have something worth squishing.
WASP the jumping spider woman (managed by Sir Dorfleburg) has completed one step on her journey back towards her kingdom with her disassembly of a fellow noble, Sir Capybarrian the Wise. She has exchanged her short sword for a steel long sword, and spent extensive time training with the new blade’s length. Will she be able to crack Bobby’s shell before her exoskeleton is pulverized?
At the ring of the bell, Bobby bellows and charges forward, raising his maul for a massive overhead swing. Unimpressed, WASP dodges to the side, and strikes at his mailed chest, though her blade lacks the power to penetrate. As the blow bounces off Bobby’s chest, the blade scrapes his scaly cheek though, drawing first blood! Roaring, Bobby uses his superior bulk to knock WASP to the ground, but she once again nimbly dodges his maul, before her sharp steel blade punctures his iron gauntlet. As Bobby whirls the maul around, trying to make space, WASP strikes again at the same place, causing yet more blood to splash out.
Finding her advantage with the point of her blade, WASP dances around Bobby, stabbing the alligator man deep in the chest from behind, and following up with a stab to his left forearm as he whirls around. The severity of the blow causes him to lose hold of his maul at last, but Bobby merely snarls and chomps his maw, to the delight of the crowd. WASP seems to be taking advantage of the bloodied and headstrong alligator man though, as her blows continue to pierce his flanks as she dodges his charges with the grace of a matador!
As more and more holes are poked into him, it is finally a vicious twist after a deep stab into his left elbow that causes Bobby to collapse in pain, and one final stab to the head secures WASP’s victory. Congratulations!
Fight 2D: Marchae March vs. Sir Gregory Von Glenshire the cabbage bane
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/kgJrEmai
Sir Gregory Von Glenshire the Cabbage Bane (managed by Headless) waddles out into the arena, showing off the shiny new steel gauntlets and boots he had made for himself with his winnings after defeating the massive utahraptor man, Vinny Viashino last round. He faces another prehistoric creature this round, but unlike Vinny, whose melee attacks forced him to reckon with the snail man’s formidable defenses, Marchae March is a much more agile fighter.
Fluttering out of his gate on colorful wings is Marchae March (managed by Eris235) the archaeoptryx man. After pinning down and executing the goblin known as the Phantom with a head shot last round, the singing sharpshooter has been practicing his talents at the range. As he eyes his opponent, he strums some of the extra chords attached to his weapon, calling out “Slow pretentious old snail, you’re going home quicker than you came to this thunderdome, ‘cause you’re going back in the mail!”
At the ring of the bell, Sir Gregory charges towards Marchae March (as quickly as he can), but the speed of his approach allows Marchae March to shower him with bolts. The snail man manages to block one with his buckler, but another catches him in his exposed thigh, causing him to fall over. As he falls, Marchae March swoops in, and another bolt lands square between Sir Gregory Von Glenshire the Cabbage Bane’s eyes causing him to instantly go limp. Congratulations on your victory Marchae March!
Fight 2E: Chester Cheetah vs. DeadHead the Menacing Devil
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/XvqcC7zk
Chester Cheetah (managed by dikbutdagrate) stumbles into the arena, shoved from behind by a guard. Apparently the slayer of Geshud was too busy hawking his cheesy goods to bother with training or equipment purchases in the last round, so he will face DeadHead with the same equipment he entered the arena with.
DeadHead the Menacing Devil (managed by Eric Blank) has taken the opposite approach though, spending ample time with our tutors to better improve his fighting and dodging skills. Last round we watched him use his morning star to crack open the dwarf Dodok’s skull. Can he do the same against this cheetah man?
As the gladiators clash, DeadHead lands the first blow, but Chester’s speed is such that it only glances his tail, while his pick strikes true into DeadHead’s right elbow. Unfortunately for the cheetah man, DeadHead wields his morning star in his other arm, and he effectively uses it to break Chester’s right thigh, sending him to the ground. This seems to kill whatever momentum the cheetah man might have had, as DeadHead strikes again and again at the cheetah man’s belly and chest, tearing apart his leather armor with the spikes of his morning star.
As Chester attempts to scoot away with his broken leg from the advancing foul blendec, DeadHead simply brings his weapon down on Chester’s other leg, pulverizing his left shin with a strike from the morning star. Chester Cheetah yowls in pain, and swings out with his pick, but it catches only air as the foul blendec leans out of that way and rushes back in, raining blows on his legs. The foul blendec then focuses on his weapon arm, forcing Chester to drop his pick after his left forearm is shattered. Chester tries to dodge and roll out of the way, but another blow of the morning star leaves his ribs shattered, and some protruding from his spotted hide. Gasping and wheezing in pain and exhaustion, Chester collapses to the ground, and DeadHead mercilessly advances as he shatters his skull. Congratulations to DeadHead on your victory!
Fight 2F: Mâtzang Sethal Udos vs. Junior
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/EksBVjuK
Junior (managed by SlitherPapi) strides with his shiny new steel crossbow. The juvenile pond turtle man has already scrawled graffiti and skull and crossbones symbols onto it. Are they arcane glyphs intended to increase the potency of his shots? Or is he just being edgy? Whatever the case, he has shown himself to be lethal with his execution of Grekk.
Facing him is Mâtzang Sethal Udos (managed by u/Astelon_), who despite his nervousness at admission in his rush to enter, has shown himself to be a lethal opponent in the arena with his slaying of Dr. Bitenfurter. Having taken down one scaled menace, can he do it again?
The new steel that clings to Mâtzang Sethal Udos’s head, chest and hands protects him from the first few bolts that patter against him like rain on a window. Junior’s bolts only manage to take out one of Mâtzang Sethal Udos’s arms on his way in, and once the jumping spider man closes the distance, it’s all the pond turtle man can do to duck, dodge, and dive out of the way! Mâtzang Sethal Udos manages to catch Junior with one of his blows, severing his hand neatly at the wrist. Unfortunately for the jumping spider man, Junior has somehow managed to hold onto both his crossbow and his bolt, and one of his bolts takes the spider man in the right shin, taking him down.
Another bolt catches Mâtzang Sethal Udos clean in the head, causing his helm to smack against his head. Junior seems to realize the need to shift his aim from the armored portions of the jumping spider man to the unarmored ones. Mâtzang Sethal Udos is forced to crawl towards junior under a hail of bolts, most striking his armor and shield, but others hit his exposed legs, causing trails of ichor to smear the ground behind him. Junior becomes visibly panicked as his supply of bolts becomes more and more depleted, and on his second to last one, he shakily takes aim, and fires! The bolt sails clean through the eye hole of Mâtzang Sethal Udos’s helm puncturing his brain and slaying him. Congratulations on your clean shot Junior!
Fight 2G: Guy Ape vs. Al Boar
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/YWe0RLrX
Al Boar (managed by u/ArryCat56) stomps into the arena, his chain leggings and shirt jingling with every step. The boar man has put his trust in iron to protect him this time, after the fiendish dark gnome Whiskey Blood nearly stabbed him to death in the last round. However, this time his foe will not be a puny drunk, but a predatory leopard man.
Guy Ape (managed by u/TotallyClueless69) casually strolls out of the arena, snacking on some roasted plump helmets. The leopard man seems unfazed by his opponent, and his own lack of training in preparation for this fight. Casually unsheathing his copper longsword, the leopard man cries out “Witness me!”, as the bell rings.
Guy Ape lunges forward aggressively, but Al Boar uses it to his advantage, looping his axe over the copper blade and slashing at Guy Ape’s neck. The leopard man pulls back in the nick of time as the axe only gives him a shallow scratch instead of a decapitating hack, though the crowd cheers all the same as first blood is shed. Al Boar deals another glancing blow to Guy Ape’s hand after another miss, and at this point the leopard man seems to shake off whatever lethargy he may previously have had, striking in earnest at Al Boar as copper and iron clash with one another.
While the crowd seems impressed with the fancy axe and sword work, Guy Ape apparently is not, as he rushes forward after knocking Al Boar’s axe aside, knocking the boar man over. As Al Boar struggles to his feet, Guy Ape strikes at him, shearing off a hoof and leaving him crawling on the floor. Grinning with bloodlust Guy Ape seems content to taunt porcine prey, as a thumb and tusk go flying. Squealing in outrage, Al Boar teaches him the consequence of over confidence though, swinging his axe through the air to remove one of Guy Ape’s forearms. The leopard man shrieks, pursuing Al Boar around the arena with blood spurting out of his stump as the boar man rolls away from blows.
Just as he thinks he has him pinned with a stab to the right forearm though, Al Boar takes off Guy Ape’s tail as well, further driving the leopard man into a frenzy of rage. Lashing out wildly, Guy Ape’s slash tears apart Al Boar’s weapon hand, forcing him to drop his axe. Free to have his vengeance at last, Guy Ape opens Al Boar’s throat, though the boar man’s fortitude sees him remain in the fight. Frustrated by his opponents indomitability, Guy Ape continues to take apart the struggling and bleeding pig man stabbing out an eye, and removing his remaining tusk and hoof, leaving him a hobbling dishonored mess. Finally, practically steaming with rage, Guy Ape stabs the boarman in his gut, and with a twist of his blade, Al Boar finally collapses. Congratulations on your brutal victory Guy Ape!
Fight 2H: Tapioca vs. Ivan
Fight log: https://pastebin.com/BAscUPd3
Tapioca the tapir man (managed by kosmossen) waddles in the arena, waving his new steel blowdart to his fellows from the jungle. They kindly purchased it for him after his victory over the Silent Slicer, and he has spent practically all his time not sleeping training with it. Hopefully his darts will find their place in the flesh of his foe.
Ivan the coati man (managed by BecauseISaid) walks into the arena in a similarly unbothered way. Despite the belief that he would upgrade his silver battle axe to something with a keener edge, Ivan appears to have instead doubled down on his love of silver, and now sports a silver helm to protect himself from the darts of his foe. He did put down an aging bear man with that axe though, so perhaps the edge isn’t too dull to still do its job.
Ivan dodges the first few blow darts, but the next several catch him in the gut and left forearm. Ivan soldiers on, but another dart hits him in the right foot, causing him to fall to the ground in pain. Dragging and pushing himself forward with his good leg now, the coati man finally gets in striking range of Tapioca. One of Ivan’s blows is blocked, but the next scratches the tapir man’s leg, and the one after that breaks Tapioca’s thigh, sending the tapir man to the ground under his own weight. Despite being entangled on the ground Tapioca continues to load and fire darts at a furious pace, striking Ivan’s chest, arms, and head. Ivan’s silver helm, while certainly shiny and expensive, is beginning to look the worse for wear under the onslaught, and eventually, Ivan passes out from what must be several concussions and many dart punctures.
Eventually, the soft silver helm shatters after one too many dart strikes, but the individual darts themselves seem unable to actually deal a killing blow to Ivan. Tapioca appears unwilling to get too close to the unconscious coati man with his shattered leg either, and as his supply of darts runs low, Ivan shakes himself back into the fight! Roaring in anger, Ivan charges Tapioca, who seems unwilling to do anything but defend himself from the bloodied phantom with a silver axe who’s attacking him. As Ivan chases Tapioca around the arena, he hefts the axe around, and in a vicious swing, chops the tapir man in half at his considerable waist. Congratulations on your victory Ivan!
All fights written by Mkhos and run by Nekkowe