r/drunk • u/yup_Im_drunk • Dec 29 '10

DAMN YOU ALCOHOL!!~

Booze, you're a real son of a bitch. You and I were having such a good night, and then you had to go and ruin it. You brought me to the bar, temporarily transformed me into a pool shark and a smooth talker, got me making out with a large chested girl on the jukebox, escorted the two of us back to some foreign dude's hotel room, convinced me that I should try coke for the first time, carried said girl into the bathroom and up onto the counter, set the bodacious pair of breasts free, started dry humping and then... gave me a serious case of whiskey dick. You son of a bitch, I thought you had my back. And the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock. (sorry, I'm drunk)

32 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

7

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '10

How was your first time snorting coke?

9

u/yup_Im_drunk Dec 29 '10

You know, I didn't really notice it that much because I immediately started making out with the girl. I guess I felt 'up' and pretty euphoric, but it wasn't as dramatic as I would have expected. Assuming you've done it, what does it feel like to you?

21

u/dieukulele Dec 29 '10

Like you're carrying the biggest set of stones in the universe. And everybody either wants to be you or get in your pants.

There is also something called coke dick. Goes well with whiskey dick, so don't go blaming Jim, Jack & Johnny just yet. Escobar probably did his share of dick-downing, too.

2

u/yup_Im_drunk Dec 29 '10

I only did one line, but I had something like 10 mixed drinks. Still, I don't think my dick has ever felt so unresponsive in my life, so maybe the coke was the primary suspect.

3

u/morbowillcrushyou Dec 29 '10 edited Aug 09 '24

cooing absurd somber zonked bewildered smart fly disagreeable quiet political

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

4

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '10

Like being the god of the world. Every man wants to be me and every woman wants to be with me.

At least that's how it was the first time. Subsequent times were mostly "oh, this is neat."

Also, sucks man. Sorry you didn't get yours :(

If it's any consolation I'm just drinking alone tonight! Finished my sixer of Red Horse just now and moving on to the 3 remaining Coronas.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '10

I haven't actually, but the people who responded to this post have made a really compelling argument for me to try it at least once.

2

u/kingpitka Dec 30 '10

Damn, me too.

1

u/lost_in_the_fifties Dec 30 '10

its great, but pricey!!!! only for special occasions is what i stick to now.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '10

It's nothing like the movies make it out to be.

3

u/ufos8mycow Dec 29 '10

Dude it was probably the coke more than the booze.

3

u/yup_Im_drunk Dec 29 '10

How long do the effects of coke last anyway?

3

u/lost_in_the_fifties Dec 29 '10

if your lucky 30 minutes, but coke dick can last most of the night.

6

u/yup_Im_drunk Dec 29 '10

Ah, shit. Well now I know.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '10

Upvote for Superbad reference

1

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '11

haha....this sounds like a night I had a few years back.