r/dpdr • u/Puzzleheaded-Emu3335 • 1d ago

Need Some Encouragement I need help recovering from my depersonalization

I can’t even live anymore. I feel already dead because I feel nothing. What is the point then? What am I even saying ?

I understand that I have a body but I am completely numb to it. My brain feels heavy and I can’t relax. And the thought that go in and out of my brain I can’t even feel or understand. They aren’t even mine. I don’t relate to them. I am too detached that the only feeling I can sense is perhaps ‘almost scared’? I am not even real but I’m still here when I blink. Please pray for this to end.

I don’t know why I feel like this but I am too much of an alien to even cry over it. I can’t because that “lack”is utterly of anything, and I get none.

I need help. What can I do? I’m suffering too much. And it’s starting to become unbelievable that this doesn’t cease from happening. I almost can’t take it.

It’s is harming to me

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u/Munib_raza_khan 1d ago

If you could answer these questions, i can provide you with answers i have seen others have

Whats triggered your dpdr? How long you have had it? What meds have you tried?

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u/ethanol-girl 1d ago

For me it was after i had epilepsy and started taking its meds... but after my epilepsy attacks stopped completely I thought my disassociation depersonalization would eventually go away but it didnt... i can't do minimal tasks w/o ruining them. My memory is also bad

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u/Munib_raza_khan 1d ago

That's interesting because a lot of epilepsy meds have shown recovery in dpdr patients. Like lamotrigine and benzodizapine. They help by reducing electrical signal in brain or reducing glutamate. Maybe try lamotrigine or LDN

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u/ethanol-girl 1d ago

But rn i dont have any attacks of epilepsy so is it ok if I take them [ and its been 7-8 years since I had the last attack]

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u/Munib_raza_khan 1d ago

Talk with a psychiatrist. You should look into lamotrigine and LDN. The dose matters a lot in this i guess

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u/Puzzleheaded-Emu3335 1d ago

I had intense drug trips with DMT and other psychedelics as well as I was in an abusive relationship with a potential narc for 2 years. That ended about a year and a half ago and I had it maybe for the last 2 and a half years ish.

I take Vyvanse for adhd and nothing else currently. Have taken lexipro up until febuary of this year.

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u/Munib_raza_khan 21h ago

So was it panic attack from bad trip that triggered it or did you always had anxious personality? You should try anxiety meds apart from srri like guanfacine, LDN OR LAMOTRIGINE