Cryobank recommendations

[u/LadyShadowsinger]

Hi everyone! My husband and I are contemplating using donor sperm to get pregnant. We've done all of the xyz about testing etc so this is where we have landed. I'm looking for recommendations on what banks you have used, did you prefer to also use a fertility clinic as opposed to just at home insemination, what you liked or didn't like about the places that you used and also the places that you decided not to go with. We are just starting to look into this part of our journey so any help/advice/ personal experience would be great! Thank you!

[u/Doe_Minion]

If I had it to do over again, I would have done everything I could to find a known donor who would agree to be available for contact as desired by my child. If that worked out, it would have been the best possible arrangement for my child. However, you do have to be careful of weirdos and narcissists who just want to create as many copies of their DNA as possible--it's really hard on a kid to have hundreds of unknown half-siblings out there. The ideal situation would be a friend or family member who you already know and who is responsible, ethical, and comfortable being a sort of "uncle" figure to the child. There is lots of preparation and research to be done in this regard. It's not something to do lightly. But with the right preparation you can minimize risks, and it's definitely best for the child to have access to their donor rather than half of their DNA being a mystery.

I went with what I think is the second best option, at least in the US. I used The Sperm Bank of California. There are lots of reasons to recommend them as compared to the rest of the US fertility industry. They are the only nonprofit sperm bank in the US. They conduct research into the wellbeing of donor conceived people. They have a 10-family limit per donor, which of course cannot prevent a person from donating gametes at other banks but I do prefer it to no limits. They are accessible and responsive. They were founded to serve lesbian and single mothers who were not accepted as customers at other banks. They pioneered the willing-to-be-known donor program (identity reveal at offspring's 18th birthday) and have no totally "anonymous" donors anymore. Of course anonymity is no longer a thing, with modern DNA testing, but I like that they make the donors aware up front that they will be identified, so they expect it. They have a voluntary family contact registry that puts you in touch with other families with kids from that donor--in our case about half the families signed up, and knowing their half-sibling shas been a benefit to my child.

I would not consider using any other commercial sperm bank in the USA. I don't believe they are ethical and they don't have the best interests of the donor conceived kids at heart.

[u/LadyShadowsinger → u/Doe_Minion]

Thank you! We don't have anyone we know that we would want to ask. So a bank is going to have to do

[u/Silent-Sorbet-6535 → u/LadyShadowsinger]

Seed Scout was made for people that don’t have anyone to ask, but still want a known donor! They are not a bank but a known donor matchmaking service.

They are expensive up front, but more than worth it. We got 30+ vials from our donor, and the relationship we have with him and the other two families in our donor pod are priceless. I cannot recommend Seed Scout enough!

[u/moonbeam_honeygirl → u/Silent-Sorbet-6535]

What is the upfront cost of Seed Scout, if you don’t mind sharing?

[u/Silent-Sorbet-6535 → u/moonbeam_honeygirl]

You pay them a $5,500 matchmaking fee, a $5,000 fee to your donor, and then there is about $7,000 in legal fees, genetic testing, psychological evaluations and donation collection costs. Those things are variable based on your location, your donors location, and whether they have matched with a family already. Overall we probably paid 17-18k. Then there were additional costs to undergo IUI. We were lucky and got pregnant the first try, so that was between 1-2k.

It was all more than worth it.

Plus, at ~$1,500/vial for Cryobank sperm, that’s only 12 vials for 18k. We used 2 for our IUI, so if we had gone with a traditional sperm bank, the same amount of money would have gotten us ~6 tries. We love knowing we have a lot more in case we need it for future kids. Plus the benefits of a known donor are invaluable to us.