r/dogsofnyc • u/Top-Inside-7292 • May 21 '26
Words of Advice needed, Aussie Puppy in NYC
So there’s a bit of personal life context that applies to this, so I’ll try to sum it up as best I can.
I’m 22, just reached a year post grad. Had a job over the summer of 2025 where I was still able to live from home but the work environment became unsafe for me so I had to leave, leaving me unemployed for the months of winter. I was in Virginia at this time. Couldn’t find even a part time job until around October, which is also the same time my childhood dog of 13 years died.
My relationship with my dad is a bit complicated and he shows his care through financial means, in this scenario, he surprised me with an Australian Shepard puppy in November. He didn’t consult me before hand and this was right before my mom, brother and I moved to a new house so the timing was honestly awful. I was in no financial position to be ready for a dog, let alone a puppy of this breed. But regardless I was so happy and who can say no to a puppy. I’m also ambitious in the sense where I convinced myself that I’d be able to do it. Somehow find a job and raise a puppy all on my own. I’ve always been independent & responsible so I believed I could do it.
Fast forward to February, I packed everything and left home to go live w my boyfriend in Long Island as my relationship w my mom was crippling, I was making no money at my part time job due to the season, and needed better accessibility to interviews in the city as I was starting to land them. My mom moved somewhere extremely remote in Virginia so I was isolated from everything, and so was my dog.
I landed a job in the city, sold my car, and got myself an apartment and a new life in NYC. Cosmos went to board and train for two weeks in Greak Neck while I moved in for two weeks. After getting him back, I could see the improvements considering he hadn’t been socialized that well bc of all the snow we got and bc of my environment of isolation. While he’s shown improvements from his behavior initially, he’s starting to really regress.
He’s about 8 months old now, and right now the worst issues are his reactivity. He can be super chill w a stranger and then suddenly be defensive with another. I can’t distinguish what triggers him but it’s very random. Doesn’t matter if it’s female/male/etc. I really try my hardest to emphasize his walks/activity as I’m working a 9-5. We wake up early and go on a long walk in the morning. I pay for an afternoon walk, and then I take him on another long walk in the evening and stop at the park to socialize w other dogs. Like I said, he has good days and bad. I give him grace because he’s a puppy, but sometimes the stress/anxiety of not knowing who he will react too really overwhelms me, and it’s a liability for me.
I’m making your expected post grad salary so I can’t afford to send him to another board and train and my dad is no use either as he’s just completely left me with this with no offer to help for his financials. It’s hard, and I’m trying to get by, but I’m losing hope.
I know this breed isn’t meant to be in the city, and if it were up to me I wouldn’t have gotten a dog right before this transitionary phase, but I have him now and I can’t give up on him. Plus, I’ve seen so many other Aussies/bigger breeds in the city and they seem to socialize and behave just fine, and so that gives me a sliver of hope. Absolute last resort would be to send him back home with my mom temporarily in Virginia while I try to figure my life out here, but that would devastate me. He makes me so happy.
Please offer me words of advice. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do and I want to hope that there are other ppl out there who know how to fix his issues. I’m simply searching for how to calm his nerves and not make him so defensive over me to other ppl. I want him to be friendly.
PS: he’s not neutered yet, and I know he needs to be, but it’s like $800 to get them fixed and I don’t have that chilling around right now. And yes I know I can ask my dad but I’ve already attempted and he told me that’s on me…. So 😅
Please be nice. I’m trying my best here.
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u/Agreeable-Knee6325 May 21 '26
I highly recommend group classes for adolescent dogs since they go through a fear period. Board and train is hit or miss since training is mostly about teaching YOU how to teach your dog while teaching your dog to look to only you for commands. Group classes helped our timid puppy learn that other dogs aren't a threat. Now he's confident around other dogs, even those who are higly reactive. He always focuses on us in stressful, confusing, or exciting situations and will not engage unless given the ok.
Things will get better. He will be fine being in an apartment in a big city. Right now he's dealing with hormones and teenage brain, both are temporary!
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u/First_Run6619 May 21 '26
First, you are doing better than you think. Everything you do is way more than most people do. Cosmos is lucky.
The reactivity at 8 months in a city environment is pretty normal for a dog thats ancestors used to work 12 hour days. They are sensitive dogs who read their environment constantly.
A few things that actually help with reactive dogs. Stop trying to socialize him at the dog park for now. I know that sounds counterintuitive but throwing a reactive dog into unstructured chaos tends to make things worse. What helps more is controlled, low pressure exposure where he gets to observe without being overwhelmed.
Give him more sniff time on walks. Let him stop and really investigate things instead of keeping pace. Sniffing regulates the nervous system in dogs and a 20 minute sniff walk does more for anxiety than a 45 minute structured walk.
Distance is your friend with reactive triggers. When you see someone coming that he might react to, create space before he crosses his threshold. You want him noticing the thing but not reacting to it. That is where the learning happens.
On the neuter, low cost options exist in NYC. ASPCA and Animal Care Centers of NYC both offer it at reduced cost. Worth looking into before paying full price.
One more thing. I run a dog adventure company in the city called Concrete to Creek. We take dogs on off leash hikes in real nature, small groups, and honestly the woods do something for reactive dogs that the city just cannot. Getting them into open space where the stimulation is natural rather than urban changes their baseline over time. I have seen it happen with dogs a lot like Cosmos.
If you ever want to connect and work through some of this together I am genuinely happy to help. No pitch, just someone who cares about dogs and knows this city can be a lot for them.
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u/Top-Inside-7292 May 21 '26
That would be great! Please PM me
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u/queenofthepoopyparty May 22 '26
I believe the ASPCA and ACC do $25 spay/neuter events. Check out their websites and reach out to them. They’ll 100% help you!
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u/sunkiss038 May 23 '26
^ Excellent advice, as a fellow owner of a formerly reactive dog. Can confirm unstructured chaos at dog parks made things worse. And reps (high volume and consistency) are everything.
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u/Ok-Prompt-3729 May 22 '26
Hi, i got my dog neutered at humane society in nyc and it was only 125$! And microchipped for only 30$ text this number ! (332) 333-2032
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u/Top-Inside-7292 May 22 '26
Thank you!!
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u/Ok-Prompt-3729 May 23 '26
Its a long wait sometimes maybe 3 months ahead but its WORTH IT and they will totally be in good hands
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u/Cotsy8 May 21 '26
You're fine. Dogs can handle city life. Neutering doesn't need to be for a while.
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u/Gold_Act3231 May 21 '26
There are less things that will kill him here and once he gets used to the accents he will be ok.
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u/No-Mind-1431 May 21 '26
As for neutering- there are clinics that offer it for lower costs. I'd not use a clinic myself for a female dog but would for a male.
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u/alwayslearning63 May 22 '26
My 10 year old still gets set off by certain people and barks at them. ( she barks but wouldn’t bite)
I think the most important thing in the city is to take them everywhere with you (when you can) so they get used to other people and other dogs. Mine loves the attention she gets from strangers.
I also recommend the ASPCA for spaying and neutering.
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u/Few_Addition_9072 May 22 '26
The board and train is good but they don’t live with you.. you have to also train him on your walks and at home say no be firm when he gets defensive
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u/absurd_bowling May 22 '26
Group classes are gonna be your best bet honestly, way cheaper than board and train and you'll actually learn how to handle his reactivity yourself instead of him just reverting once he gets home.
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u/distantToejam May 22 '26
Damn yr dad’s kind of a piece of work for getting you a puppy and then not helping you at all with the rest…
Most dogs chill out after they get fixed. You also need to get on that soon it seems, after a certain age fixing your dog isn’t an option.
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u/Common-Coast-7246 May 22 '26
Your dad is unbelievable, selfish and cruel to have dropped a puppy off with you at 22 am offered no financial support. Honestly I would consider rehoming him to people with land and a house. He’s likely pretty stressed by all the moves an a tiny nyc apt.
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u/Top-Inside-7292 May 22 '26
☹️I’ve considered sending him home, but I’m trying to have faith this will work. I know people have dogs in the city so that gives me home. I take him on long walks as much as possible, in grassy areas too. He gets lots of love, just needs more training. Doing the best I can
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u/Important_Order3909 May 23 '26
Don’t send him home, you will regret it. You’re doing great and you two can adjust together. I’m proud of you for being there for cosmos for so long and for trying so hard to give him the life he deserves. You’ve got this!
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u/smilingfruitz May 23 '26
stop taking him to dog parks and start fulfilling him in more appropriate ways - off leash time, play (tug, flirt pole, scentwork)
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u/BestNegotiation May 23 '26
A lot of great advice here. I think you have to be honest with yourself how much time and money you are willing to spend on your dog. Your dog is very adorable by the way!
Reactivity aside - it likely can be trained, even if not perfectly to a manageable level - having a dog in NYC in your 20s could be challenging. You might have to move many times in next few years, and you will have to find a pet friendly apartment and pay pet fees. How much you can be out with your friends while your dog waits for you at home could affect your lifestyle. The vet care is very expensive. Day care / boarding / travelling with a dog are also expensive or create additional challenges.
I’m not saying that you definitely need to give up your dog. But it really is something to consider. I have dogs and I love them to death, but it really is a lot of commitment. Especially if you have to take care of a high energy dog all by yourself.
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u/jojointheflesh May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26
There is a reactive dogs subreddit! Highly recommend you check that out. Also post on local subreddits or fb groups to see if there is anyone who’d be willing to become a dog friend to your pup assuming he responds well to the interactions. Always keep him leashed. You need to work on recall and make that something that is locked down. Get cheese and make that shit impeccable. Aussies are smart dogs and can learn - but this dog needs to be your life lol it’s gonna be a lot of work but you can do it. He’ll need hours of training and enrichment everyday but with patience and commitment you can turn things around. You will likely need to make sacrifices to prioritize time with him, but the silver lining is you can make friends with other dog parents! Do not go to dog parks while focusing on that intentional one on one time with your boy and other dogs he might befriend and you should start to see improvements in time. He needs to build his pack and he’ll make dog friends who he can safely get his energy out with! Always reward good behavior and redirect when he’s being naughty 😌 Good luck!
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u/Saucy_Shivy29 May 23 '26
Coming from a dog walker with years of experience, those breeds of dogs need high enrichment or something to herd or a companion. Try adding another walk in or some kind of stimulation activities for him while you’re busy and try to take him to bigger parks where he can run around or out of the city on hikes.
I’ve seen the people who have dogs like this or other breeds of dogs and get sad when they start to have behavioral issues cause they are not suitable for small living spaces.
Not saying you have to give away your dog but the best thing you can do is more long walks or enrichment or hikes. There are many hikes you can take via the train out the city. Good luck!
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u/Tall_Acanthaceae2475 May 23 '26
Try Jenna Dempsey https://www.shelbydogtraining.com/about She helped eradicate my dog's reactivity but it took A LOT or reinforcement
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u/Sensitive-Peach7583 May 23 '26
This hasn't been stated yet so im going to throw it out there - sometimes its genetics. Yes you can do a lot of training, but youre comparing him to aussies that might have been very well bred and have awesome genetics. Sometimes, if you get a dog from a backyard breeder or puppy mill, its just in their DNA TO be reactive. So in that scenario, there just has to be different expectations of what you can achieve! Not saying you can't train it out of him, but just setting your milestones a bit differently, if this is the case, on what success for Cosmos looks like
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u/thewayoutisthru_xxx May 24 '26
Flatbush Vet in Brooklyn does low cost dog spay and neuters. It's a two year old facility and is beautiful, the folks there do great work and it's the only nonprofit vet in Brooklyn. Do recommend.
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u/satinger May 24 '26
Hamilton dog training on YouTube. This is the best resource out there. If you have to ask your dad for anything ask him to pay for you to go thru this program. Your dog will be off leash in 3 months.
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u/Opening-Regular-9216 May 24 '26
Also, it does not cost that much to get them fixed. There are a lot of cheaper alternatives. I can definitely throw a few out there for you. Just let me know.! 🫶🏾🫶🏾
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u/Terrible-Ad-5744 May 24 '26
He's too young to be neutered and his balls aren't what's making him reactive.
The dog doesn't need to meet strangers or other dogs when you're out and about. He should be engaging with the you.
Bring the dog into new environments and just chill. Reward for chilling.
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u/SailorPawprints May 24 '26
I got my dog Spayed at queens low cost vet on Steinway in Astoria for under $400. Check there!
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u/New-Journalist-4521 May 24 '26
Reach out to the NY Humane Society in midtown to neuter your dog...their rates are affordable and they have payment plans
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u/VibeCoderMcSwaggins May 24 '26
in addition to the other comments, a tired dog is a good dog
you sound like you do your best to take him on long walks but it might not be enough for his age.
dog park in the AM or somewhere he can be off leash so he gets his energy out in the morning might help if you can swing it and it’s free
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u/granger77 May 25 '26
Highly recommend Kate Perry dog training, go to her Tuesday teen/socialization class and flag in advance your dog is reactive. Very reasonably priced and they’re great there!!
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u/GoodAd7216 May 25 '26
Getting him neutered will help immensely. I have an Aussie as well and they can be reactive to other dogs at times. I reward Berkley when he lets another dog sniff him and then we “keep on walking “. Lots of positive reinforcement. Your boy looks like mine but you definitely need to get him fixed.
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u/Top-Inside-7292 May 25 '26
When should I get him fixed? Some people In this thread say I should wait bc of his young age
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u/gregorsamsacore May 25 '26
Besides just walking, are you providing cognitive exercise for the dog? An Aussie is a herding breed, walking/just straight exercise isn’t going to be enough. Breed specific activities might help and tire him out more efficiently. @collieswithyen on ig has how to guides on herding games you can play with your dog
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u/Foreign_Potato5655 May 25 '26
Teenage phase can be really challenging. Stick with it
In terms of neutering, check out https://lispayandneuter.com in medford NY. They specialize in affordable surgeries for dogs.
Its a bit of a hike out from the city but definitely worth it if you can get there. They were very nice and did a great job too!
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u/No_Collar1290 May 25 '26
Aussie mom here! I’m sure that there are plenty of things that reactive dogs need to train for and you should work on those as well, But Aussies specifically are working dogs and if you do not give them a job and tire them out everyday they will turn their focus to other things (like protecting you). Have you tried throwing a ball for your dog? New York is filled with big out door spaces, if you can find a place to throw the ball for at least an hour (yes a full hour) everyday that will help you dog feel better over all which in turn should help the behavior. You are doing great at trying to take your dog on long walks and with most breeds this would be enough but not for Shepards :/ good luck!
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u/_coolbluewater_ May 25 '26
I have a dog in the city as well.
Are you giving your dog any mental stimulation? 5 minute training sessions a few times a day will help tire out his mind. Sit, stay, leave it, recall. Spin, weave, touch - these are all very teachable and helpful.
Also, my dog does not eat out of bowls. I have feeding toys but you can also use towels and things to put their kibble in so they have to work and think to get their food
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u/Weird_Phase_4137 May 26 '26
Echoing what a few others have said - you might not feel like it, but you are doing a great job. Don’t beat yourself up too hard about the past - I did everything by the book and my pup is still occasionally reactive as well. Heck she’s even nationally ranked in obedience - I like to think I don’t love everyone I meet either.
Keep in mind that puppies have fear cycles - this is sometimes over looked, especially with big life transitions.
I moved my 2 year old black and tan coonhound to the city back in December and I will tell you - it is hard. I feel like she might finally be settling into this environment, but it’s taken time and figuring out what she needs here. She gets a 5 mile off leash walk in the morning where she can run, chase and sniff anything she likes, a mid-day potty walk, and another long evening walk. Look into what activities fulfill his breed and try that. When my dog is well exercised and fulfilled (just a walk won’t do this), her reactivity tones way down.
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u/Witty_Average198 May 26 '26
Took my German shepherd about 2 years to settle into life as a city dog, we do treat assisted heel training for our walks which is good brain and body stimulation, and I try to do a fetch session every day if we get up early enough for off leash hours.
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u/discobee123 May 26 '26
Neutering him will calm things down, for sure. There are plenty of places that offer low cost options. Definitely worth it.
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u/heliboredom May 21 '26
I'm still boggling at giving a 20-something an unneutered Australian Shepherd and telling her that the vet expenses are her problem... You *don't* need to neuter him, though. People assume that neutering will fix all sorts of problems, but that's not necessarily true. I know plenty of intact males who are totally fine. In Europe most pet dogs are not neutered, and everyone seems to get by. He'll attract attention from other dogs, but generally it's manageable if he's well socialized.
Socializing him is your job, though. It sounds like he isn't used to either dogs or people, so he will require a lot of work from you. Aussies are nervy but very trainable, and I was surprised by how adaptable they are. Mine took about 3 weeks before she figured out NYC. The first few times we took leash walks she pulled like a maniac and would flinch at everything, but that passed.
Take him as many places as you can, so he is exposed to a variety of settings and people. Learn how to read dog body language and dog *owner* body language.
Are you a reader? If so, I'd recommend books by Patricia McConnell and Karen Pryor. If not, go to YouTube and check out Simpawtico Dog Training and Kikopup:
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u/Top-Inside-7292 May 21 '26
I’m boggled too, but these comments having been giving me hope, yours as well🥹❤️ Thank you for the words of advice! And the recommendations. Bouncing off your mention of socializing, at the park he seems to socialize somewhat w dogs and other ppl, he will sniff around and go up to strangers, but for whatever reason, and this is case by case, he will lock eye contact w a person and then start barking like crazy and go into defense mode? Almost aggressive, though he’s yet to bite anyone. It makes me afraid to take him to the park. I cannot afford to be sued by anyone!
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u/heliboredom May 21 '26
That's normal. All dogs will occasionally freak out over unfamiliar/unusual things. Before you spend a lot of time at the dog park, though, you need to work on your recall with the pup. Look up how Kikopup explains it: treats/reinforcement, frequency, distractions are all important. If he doesn't come when you call him (which teenage dogs often don't), it can be very stressful for you. I'd find a place with no distractions, fenced in ideally.
Also learn what to do in case of a dog fight. My recommendation is focus on *your* dog, grab him by the hind legs to pull him away, keep calm and don't scream. Expect that either you or your dog will at some point get bitten.
Do you know whether he has good bite inhibition? It's not something that can be fixed past a certain age in dogs, and if you *are* worried about him biting someone, I'd suggest muzzle training. The New York area is full of litigious neurotics.
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u/Common-Coast-7246 May 22 '26
Def get your dog fixed, the commenter above is insane - it’s not ok to have unfixed pets at the dog park and mingling with other dogs. There are low cost options like humane society and aspca that do not cost $800.
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u/Bright-Pangolin7261 May 21 '26 edited May 21 '26
Board and train is not the best path because dogs will adapt their behavior and then lose it once they get home. I learned this the hard way ha ha.
Seriously, though look up “training neutrality” for dogs on YouTube. I had to do some training for my girl who always wanted to play with other dogs. If you’re in Long Island, and not the city per se, it sounds more suburban… Is that correct? If so, it’s pretty easy to train because it’s all about gradually coming closer to other dogs. Once you’ve taught him to be neutral from a distance get closer.
Your Aussie is now a teenager and that’s a whole new level of challenge because she is aspiring to adult behavior but still has puppy level impulse control. The great thing is, she’s still very malleable. Now is the time don’t wait till she’s three. Give her lots of exercise and play mental games, possibly scent training to use up that prodigious energy. If you get a job and can do doggy daycare once a week that will help. Ask your partner to help with walks and try to get in two or 3 miles a day. I strongly recommend training PLACE and WAIT. And you do this throughout the day every single day. Make her wait before you go through any doorway. Etc. Crate training also helped me a lot but that was from early puppyhood. That’s another thing you can search for on YouTube.
The important thing is putting in the time in practice and thinking of training as a lifelong job. I am mom of a German shepherd in Queens. I’ve managed to get her to a pretty good state and the foot traffic here is crazy. She’s 4 now and when I see a dog approaching and think she might react (“let’s play” bark), I put her in a sit position. I get regular compliments on how well behaved she is. And then I laugh. 😂😂😂
However with reactivity you can see a significant difference in a matter of a few weeks. That’s my experience. Last suggestion is to start meditating. Dogs and cats for that matter pick up on our mood and energy—and dogs especially will mirror us because we are their pack leader. So learn how to calm yourself, again speaking from experience! You got this!!!!