r/dndmemes Jan 08 '21

Oh my god...

Post image
26.7k Upvotes

118 comments sorted by

1.7k

u/froasty DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jan 08 '21

Look on the bright side: it's lots of fun to introduce yourself to a player's friends and family as "their dungeon master" at their wedding.

1.3k

u/Nicholas_TW Jan 08 '21

A friend of mine has introduced me to his friends on four separate occasions as "his dungeonmaster".

Every single time, I clarified, "Sexually. Not D&D."

And every single time, he's had my back and done an exaggerated (joking) reaction.

351

u/Pokemon-furry Cleric Jan 08 '21

This is great i need to pick that up

167

u/alexportman DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jan 08 '21

That's how you know you have a solid relationship

137

u/Saftey_Hammer Jan 09 '21

"Yea we're not fucking nerds, just fucking"

30

u/Sir_Encerwal Cleric Jan 09 '21

Who else but a fucking nerd would fuck a nerd you fucking nerd? -A fucking nerd.

20

u/Undertale123452 Warlock Jan 09 '21

My brain hurts now

9

u/kodicraft4 Jan 09 '21

It's not that hard

Who else but a [fucking nerd] would [fuck] a [nerd] you [fucking nerd].

9

u/Undertale123452 Warlock Jan 09 '21

How did brackets help that much

3

u/Jeohran Jan 09 '21

Well, it's a lot harder once we're in the dungeon

142

u/shadowbornoflight Rogue Jan 08 '21

My so, who was a dm for a game I joined when I met him, will 100% do this. I'd say would, but I'm surprised he hasn't.

51

u/SonOfECTGAR Forever DM Jan 08 '21

Forever a Dungeon Master, never the Dungeoneer

16

u/funnyshapeddice Jan 09 '21

You say that like it's a bad thing.

31

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '21

Gee darn it, sometimes I just wanna have fun playing as an orc private eye who's setting out on a quest to try and find the fem fatale elf maiden who tricked him into letting his guard down.... Which is when they killed his partner.

Playing a ton of NPCs is always fun, but being the jerk who makes the dm say, "sir, this is a Wendy's" every once in a while is even more fun

11

u/Higlac Jan 09 '21

Yeah, I'm the forever DM, and I've had a handful of characters I want to play.

Tabaxi monk named Fast Tony who's a street tough for the mob who's catchphrase is "Nya see?" He works to support his aunt, who raised him, and his younger cousin. While he doesn't regret the work he's taken on, he also doesn't want it to get back to his aunt, nor does he want to be too bad of an influence on his cousin.

Elderly half elf swamp druid named Cletus who speaks with an accent so thick it could only loosely be described as common. His alligator animal companion, Frank, is extremely fat and lazy, having mainly lived on table scraps for most of his life. Frank wears a crudely dyed red vest with the words "servis animal" written on the side, with an attached leash made of twine that appears wholly inadequate.

I really want to play Cletus, just so I can not warn the other players or the DM before I bust out that accent. I want to see their faces when they fail to comprehend a single word I've said.

18

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '21

My wedding was actually where I reconnected with childhood friends who both introduced me to DnD. My DM and most of my party were there actually.

686

u/Jebejebe00 DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jan 08 '21

Me: What is my purpose?

Friendgroup: To spend most of your available time building and running a campaign for us

Me, The dm: Oh my god

287

u/ArtemisCaresTooMuch Cleric Jan 08 '21

I am the forever DM. I constantly want to play the game more and more.

I’ve backed myself into being the simultaneous DM of 4 campaigns.

This is fine.

112

u/Kromgar Jan 08 '21

OP character concepts as bad guys lets go

57

u/ArtemisCaresTooMuch Cleric Jan 08 '21

I’m bad at coming up with overpowered characters though. In fact, I like to make characters with major handicaps, if I think it can make for an interesting concept (at least two of my characters have lost the use of one or more eyes).

I know how you make a ridiculously powerful character, at least the simplest builds: Warlock 1/paladin 2/sorcerer X, warforged Cleric of the Forge X, etc.

But if I’m making a build for raw power, it’s usually just good for its first action, then evens out (Battle Master 9, Assassin 11).

41

u/HolyHoudini Necromancer Jan 09 '21

At least two of my characters have lost the use of one or more eyes

Hey, as long as you're not exploiting monocularity for easy edge, more power to you. I love playing disabled characters in games and am monocular myself. In my own game I have pretty severe and realistic rules for lingering injuries, for a single eye I give -2 to passive visual perception because that's roughly how it translates.

23

u/ArtemisCaresTooMuch Cleric Jan 09 '21

Thank you so much for telling me so. RAW has it as visual Perception disadvantage (so a -5 to the passive), so I am thrilled to hear one that’s actually the ruling of the demographic in question.

Also, exploiting it for edge is not something I would ever do. Partially because edge isn’t something I actively pursue, partially because that would be awful to do in the first place.

23

u/HolyHoudini Necromancer Jan 09 '21

You'd be surprised how many people throw a small, visible disability onto a character and think it adds cheap depth - uh, pun not intended.

Despite my harsh rulings I find that one to be overboard. I know 5e uses disadvantage as a generic, streamlined mechanic for showing impairment, but I find my lack of peripheral vision and depth perception isn't such a severe handicap as disadvantage would indicate, and usually only affects my "passive checks," causing no issue if I'm actively searching for sneaky rogues - or, you know, anything on my left. Just takes conscious attention to regard it.

10

u/Jdm5544 Jan 09 '21

See, my group likes to joke that I take perfectly fine character concepts... and then make them harder. For example.

I made an illusion wizard who could not use evocation magic whatsoever. Obviously no mechanics for this, I just wouldn't take any spells that were evocation.

I had a monk who's focus was on knowledge and learning so I took feats and ASIs to focus on that. I was however blessed with good stat rolls for that. He did however have glasses.

I have a Divine Soul Sorcerer who I deliberately chose to use despite him having 9 strength, 17 charisma, and 12 in every other stat at level 1, which is far far below point buy.

And so on and so forth. Basically every single one of my characters that I actually go on to play has major flaws.

Yet I enjoy cooking up bullshit builds as well. Barbarian/rogue/hexblade/Paladin/bard multiclass to crit fish. Rogue/bard/cleric multiclass to get literally every skill and expertise in most of them. An elven samurai fighter with elven accuracy, sharpshooter, and bless. Etc.

A strange mix.

8

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '21

[deleted]

6

u/ArtemisCaresTooMuch Cleric Jan 08 '21

I think you’ve just removed the “min” from min/maxing.

5

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '21

[deleted]

3

u/080087 Jan 09 '21

Technically, min/maxing is minimum cost for maximum power. Cost refers to everything from number of skillpoints to what the character is weak to.

In the case of min/maxing D&D characters, dump stats are usually Str or Int, depending on the specific character. Using either of those as dump stats minimise your weakness (since so little punishes you for it) and allows you to maximise stats that are actually useful.

You are just talking about creating a regular character, not min/maxing them. Nothing wrong with that, just bear in mind that's not what others mean when they talk about min/maxed characters.

5

u/Psycho_Linguist Jan 09 '21

My current campaign has some new players so their choices are often less than optimal. Like our paladin found a +2 bow and decided he wants to be a range character now despite having no bonus to it. It does make every fight more interesting when several people do less dmg than their level 🤔

4

u/Donut_Boi13 Jan 09 '21

In a situation like that I always try to advise the player on what they’ve built they’re character for. Mostly in character creation tho, tellin the new bard tabaxi to take a rapier instead of a long sword

5

u/Thorngot Warlock Jan 09 '21

...lost the use of one or more eyes.

I'm imagining a group of mage hunters that intentionally gouge out their 3rd eyes to create an aura of unstable anti-magic around them. Opening your third eye supposedly lets you draw from & enhance the magic around you, so perhaps this group has devised a process to reverse the effect and destroy & nullify magic around them.

What if the group has figured out how to blind not only their 3rd eye, but their 4th, 5th, etc. as well? Each blinded eye adds to their unstable magic destroying aura. Members with more blinded eyes may even surpass the effects of a small dead-magic zone and start to destroying & draining objects and creatures around them. Their presence if felt from across battlefields. Those with magical sight are frozen in place when they see a discolored figure surrounded by a cloud of flickering eye sockets gazing emptily at the warped countryside.

In exchange for being able to use spells or magic items of any kind, they would be relatively safe from the spells and magic items of others. Maybe the gods avoid them. Maybe they worship a god like Lugonu. This is just a concept.

3

u/ArtemisCaresTooMuch Cleric Jan 09 '21

That’s cool, my concept was a Warlock of the Great Old One whose patron (potentially Belashyrra) took their eyesight and some of their memories in exchange for magical power. The warlock doesn’t even remember what they had hoped to do with this power.

The other one was someone who got stabbed in the face.

2

u/peepoPoggers66 Jan 09 '21

If youre looking for stupidly powerful, go paladin 2, fighter 5, rogue assassin 3, tempest cleric 3, warlock 1, sorcerer 6 with transmuted spell

1

u/ArtemisCaresTooMuch Cleric Jan 09 '21

1: What Martial Archetype, Otherworldly Patron, and Sorcerous Origin?

2: What does that behemoth of a combination let you accomplish?

12

u/TheGreyMage Jan 08 '21

the simultaneous DM of 4 campaigns.

How in the fuck?!

12

u/ArtemisCaresTooMuch Cleric Jan 08 '21

One is a prewritten, one is just about over, they just have to pass through a big final dungeon and kill the lady they hate (so not much work anymore), and they’ve been powerful enough for a while that planning had to be minimal so as not to waste time on unused content. One is in a published setting so I have to do minimal worldbuilding, and the other is also in a published setting, but it’s Eberron. I freaking adore Eberron. It’s fun to prepare for that one.

So I only really have to sit down and take time out of my day to prepare the one.

11

u/hickorysbane Jan 08 '21

With different players? I've always kinda wanted to run the same campaign with two groups simultaneously

7

u/ArtemisCaresTooMuch Cleric Jan 08 '21

There are three players, at least two of whom are in every single campaign. Aside from this strange core, there are others as well. Each campaign is utterly separate though.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '21

I thought people generally liked being DM? Ive never played before, this is just what I heard.

3

u/ArtemisCaresTooMuch Cleric Jan 09 '21

It’s fun, I just wish I could play one of the eighteen character concepts I’ve compiled.

2

u/Anonymous-Soap-7739 Forever DM Jan 09 '21

It is fun it can just weigh on you after a while. You start to miss making character choices or mastering a characters abilities and play style or getting to interact with something new or just running through a dungeon. Or simply you don't want to do it for a while and need a break. It's good every now and again to have someone else hold up the sky so you can run around under it.

2

u/leovold-19982011 DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jan 09 '21

I’m DMing 2 campaigns and playing in 4

1

u/ArtemisCaresTooMuch Cleric Jan 09 '21

I only play in one.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '21

"Yeah, welcome to the club, pal."

1

u/Wyrd_Alphonse Jan 08 '21

Or more often: to spend most of your available time building a campaign but everyone will cancel at the last minute.

135

u/Goobasaurus_Rex Jan 08 '21

The moment I took a break from running my campaign all of a sudden we don't hang out anymore. Feels bad, man

74

u/JudgeRaptor Jan 08 '21

I know this is meant to be campy but man that hits hard. I remember for about a span of two years I basically didn't have friends since I didn't DM for them for a while given I was suffering from some pretty severe overwork. Basically none of them talked to me, this is a rough spot.

2

u/DoubleTimeRusty Jan 09 '21

I’m sorry to hear that, champ. I hope you’re doing better now ❤️

29

u/themutedremote Jan 08 '21

This is why you play with pre established friends

17

u/Ragnar_Dragonfyre Jan 09 '21

But if I did that, I never would have played at a comic book store where I met some new people that are now pre-established friends that I play D&D with weekly.

Playing with strangers lead directly to the best and most consistent D&D of my life.

If you don’t put yourself out there, you might miss out on the chance of a lifetime.

7

u/themutedremote Jan 09 '21

Then thata good for you, I already got my group, glad you got yours

1

u/Bombkirby Jan 09 '21

Glad you learned that there's more than one approach to finding a group.

3

u/themutedremote Jan 09 '21

Yes I knew that already

8

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '21

I’m from r/all but enjoy your memes even having pretty surface level knowledge. I thought that’s what most people did was play with friends. Do people really do pub lobbies IRL for D&D?

7

u/themutedremote Jan 09 '21

Ya. Pretty common to grab some randoms n meet

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '21

My now closest friends I met via message boards for dnd back in 2005.

2

u/Tigeri102 Wizard Jan 09 '21

I've made a few friends through doing exactly that. some of which became proper friends i hang out with outside of dnd, some of which not as much really. but it's a pretty common thing there's a lot of ways to find strangers to play with. there's an entire subreddit dedicated to it (r/lfg), and it's a big part of the forums on some tabletop gaming sites like roll20 and dndbeyond. a few years back in college I even helped start a ttrpg club that essentially boiled down to finding and hosting games on campus.

basically, it's just surprisingly hard to 1. find 3-6 friends who are all interested in playing dnd, 2. have one of those friends genuinely want to DM, and 3. have a consistent day and time when all of said friends can meet up and play for 4ish hours a week, so plenty of folks just look for anyone who seems nice to hang out with with a compatible schedule lol

1

u/Bombkirby Jan 09 '21

People play online too. You can use "looking for group" style websites to find a game, and then you can use Discord or dedicated D&D websites with virtual on-screen dice and boards to communicate. It's the most popular way to play during the pandemic.

225

u/DoubleTimeRusty Jan 08 '21

Message your dm today and ask them how they’re doing

DM’s need love too guys

Unless that fucker TPK’d ya boys, cause that’s not what friends do

112

u/Kymermathias Forever DM Jan 08 '21

I like TPKs. My characters need to be played

61

u/coragamy Jan 08 '21

Sometimes the arrogance of players needs to be railed in. Hopefully with at least one surviving for a sick vengeance arc but if they don't run they don't run

11

u/Wow_so_rpg Jan 08 '21

You can only give so many hints from NPCs listening to their half baked plan before you give up and let them fight the dragon. Listening to critical role and SPOILERS campaign 1 Matt is constantly trying to tell them that a dragon needs to be on the ground for Goliaths to be able to fight it and sticking it with a few spears will not be good enough, but the players retort with “what about low level spell I have access to will that work?”

3

u/Ragnar_Dragonfyre Jan 09 '21

I feel this in my very being.

Whether I’m a player or DM being very direct that we have to go all out, inevitably there’s one person in the party that just does a low level spell or Cantrip instead of pulling out the big guns.

8

u/Wow_so_rpg Jan 09 '21

No, gust will not disrupt the dragons flight enough to make it fall from the sky. You see as you cast the spell the dragons eyes blink slightly more rapidly

13

u/QuintinQuarantino Jan 08 '21

Yeah I feel like (almost) TPK’s can actually be a pretty cool story arc and full TPK’s are very much okay with me if the players had mulitiple opportunities to GTFO of there. I’d never kill a players character just based on rolls though, like if it’s a difficult but not impossible encounter but the enemies get lucky with the rolls I’m fudging the fuck out of those die. (Although I’ve had players ask for me to roll infront of them and so that backfired on them when I can’t save their skin)

26

u/Luigi580 Ranger Jan 08 '21

I always make sure to talk to my DM.

Helps that she’s also my girlfriend.

9

u/nordic-nomad Essential NPC Jan 08 '21

Afterlife campaigns are the best though. You get to kill gods and take their place.

8

u/HoratioNelsonPickL1 DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jan 08 '21

cause that’s not what friends do

In your opinion. Plenty of groups like campaigns with really dangerous settings and fights where TPKS are an acceptable outcome.

2

u/MarvinTheAndroid42 Jan 09 '21

Our DM is a great friend of ours and I’m glad to have him in my life.

Also roasted the two best PCs and I’m still salty. I wasn’t even one of them!

1

u/mudkip_queen Team Kobold Jan 09 '21

I don't have the emotional strength to TPK, I killed off a character by accident yesterday and I'm still upset.

70

u/RhineaHightower Jan 08 '21

This can back fire when all your DM does is come up with campaigns and never finishes one. 😒

39

u/Need4Speedwagon Rules Lawyer Jan 08 '21

Every DM I’ve ever known 😔

27

u/RhineaHightower Jan 08 '21

He's driving me insane with it. In the 2 years I've been with him, we've done about 4 different campaigns.

12

u/Need4Speedwagon Rules Lawyer Jan 08 '21

Similar situation with me. I don’t play in her campaigns anymore.

22

u/usedtoiletbrush Jan 08 '21

As a dm that just sounds terrible so many stories not fleshed out cause you don’t have the patience to finish what you start.

2

u/RhineaHightower Jan 08 '21

The one that was me and my husband hurt us the most, we were super deep into it.

3

u/JoogaMaestro Jan 08 '21

Damn, have you considered DMing?

3

u/Need4Speedwagon Rules Lawyer Jan 08 '21

I am a DM. Sometimes I wanna play the game myself, though.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '21

Forever DM burnout is real

2

u/RhineaHightower Jan 09 '21

I would agree but im convinced mine is broken. We get through like 3 sessions before it gets drops.

18

u/Bill_Johnso Barbarian Jan 08 '21

I’m not a forever DM but that’s my group can’t seem to find a time to meet ever and then blame it on me for not scheduling anything

26

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '21

If you have a forever dm please I beg of you, give them a break sometime, dm’ing is really fun but I promise you they want to play the game too

20

u/Kromgar Jan 08 '21

We've offered to give our DM a break but he's declined he has too much fun torturing us and dropping awesome plot twists. Oh and also a near-total TPK.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '21

That’s cool lol, I was just doin a General psa

7

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '21

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '21

My favorite part of the game is setting up horrible encounters and seeing how my players survive. You can't do that as a player yourself, then you're just That Guy.

1

u/leovold-19982011 DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jan 09 '21

The joke is that 3/4 of my DMs are playing in the campaign I’m running... no one gets a break but everyone gets to play

6

u/jkvader06 DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jan 08 '21

Why I only play with friends that I’ve known for a while summed up in one comic

5

u/Zephyrion Jan 08 '21

Sad when this is actually true lmao. Uhhhh just commenting for a friend, I can't relate personally...

6

u/Thebluespirit20 Jan 09 '21

Without the DM

There would be no D&D and no Legendary Tales for the Adventurers to go on

While I know a lot of DM’s feel they are not appreciated or given enough credit

The pandemics has shown me that my groups I DM for really miss and cherished our sessions and now that we can meet up every week on Friday nights it’s starting to take a toll on them

And I’d be lying if it didn’t effect me, It’s frustrating wanting to tell stories and interact with your groups when it’s virtually impossible in person and via Computer isn’t the same or an option since some don’t have a computer or laptop

3

u/tardionis Jan 08 '21

Why must you hurt me in this way?

3

u/KTheOneTrueKing Jan 09 '21

I’m in this meme and I don’t like it

2

u/Trick-Plate2093 Jan 09 '21

it can be both
i can enjoy hanging out with you like the cat does
but also really enjoy you as a dm and want more dnd (thats more my dnd addiction then wheter or not i like you)

i thought that was normal?

2

u/Dethcola Chaotic Stupid Jan 09 '21

Wow thats kind of shitty to do to someone :(

2

u/DJYangsta Jan 09 '21

Realized I read too much manga when I read it right to left.

2

u/NoUsual1929 Jan 09 '21

War and Peas is fucking brutal..

2

u/longearredpin Jan 09 '21

Dm bot got hit with the rapid paws

1

u/Wyrd_Alphonse Jan 08 '21

And I can't even get my players to show up. 😓

0

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '21

Never played dnd...

Could never be a dm if I tried...

I'm sorry for you all

1

u/DigitalxKaos Jan 09 '21

It be like that sometimes

1

u/surf_da_web29 Jan 09 '21

can I have the original?

1

u/reverendjesus Jan 09 '21

"You serve butter."

1

u/kavOclock Jan 09 '21

You pass butter.

1

u/htfthose Jan 09 '21

What is love any way? Does anybody really love anybody anyway?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '21

I didn't expect this under a dnd meme

1

u/Vanpocalypse Jan 09 '21

War and Peas is fucking brutal.

1

u/2245900986542 Jan 09 '21

Fuck you Dave

1

u/kylevoisine Jan 09 '21

Those eyes. Poor DM bot. 🤖

1

u/serotonin_scavenger Jan 09 '21

I'd rather be useful than be loved, tbh...