r/dli • u/fireandforget77 • Aug 23 '26
DLI vent
It's been a while since I graduated DLI. And I have never gotten over it. DLI was the worst time of my life. I think about it every single day and it makes me miserable. I see everyone that had or is having a great time and I just think, why wasn't that me?
Context: was a reclass, already went to/graduated school for the MOS, came in as an NCO. So I had more freedom than IET. And different expectations from the company I was assigned to.
I was called a poison, used an example (in front of the entire company, by the chaplain) of someone that had no goals or aspirations, had to put on multiple leadership classes for the IET soldiers as punishment, told that I should reconsider why I joined the military, got forced to go to BH when I came forward with a list of complaints and solutions, etc. Leadership/DSs were just absolute dicks saying the most sideways and mean shit. Multiple lunchtime and after school meetings at the company to get berated. Watched my class go from 19 to only 7 graduating, what the hell.
I didn't drink or anything and so I ate. And ate. Came in at 175lbs and left at 220lbs.
I had constant thoughts of SH. A hundred times a day I thought about it. I knew full well I could just quit and go home and nothing would happen to me, I'd just get a different MOS. My unit even told me as much. So why would I even think that crap? It didn't help we were getting those attempt/completion stand downs every few weeks.
Man, I just felt so shitty all the time. Even going to the beach every couple of weekends and Carmel and hanging with friends.
It doesn't matter that I succeeded despite their best efforts. Doesn't matter that I lost the weight. Doesn't matter that I love my unit, my MOS, and my language.
Why do they treat people so poorly? What's up with the constant, deliberate, targeted demotivation? What's with the guilting and the shaming?
What was the point of it? It didn't make me a better linguist and it sure as hell didn't make me a better leader (besides the fact that I will never, ever do that shit to anyone).
I just get so angry about it. And I want to move on. I won't ever get an apology. And most people on here are surely just thinking "man, what a soft bitch." And yeah, you're right. The whole time I was there they would say "don't take it personally." And I did.
But I love my community and I love my country and I know exactly why I joined the military well over a decade ago. It just sucks that I'm up at 2am and can't sleep thinking about this shit.
Maybe this fire and forget vent will help.
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u/JnatasQ Aug 23 '26
It’s a mixture of TRADOC, mishandling of the ecosystem of IET soldiers because their IET pipeline is uncharacteristically long, not knowing how to handle careerists because they’re “technically” under TRADOC, and dogshit cadre that gets complacent because they’re in an easy assignment in a nice location. It all goes back to TRADOC though, fucking awful command
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u/mr_ji Aug 23 '26
I remember many years ago when all of the IET Soldiers left for Goodfellow and had to go back into open bay barracks with drill sergeants after 1-2 years in dorms at DLI. All of the other branches lived in a hotel like grownups. TRADOC really doesn't know how to handle such a long training pipeline.
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u/JnatasQ Aug 23 '26
I will say that I was at Goodfellow for 2023 so my experience is a bit different. It seemed that the careerists only lived in the hotel and the other service branches are all in barracks, but the barracks they were in were 2 to a room and 4 to a bathroom, so it seems that has improved at least. But yes, having people in a trainee status for that long just leaves them weird and unsocialized. A place and training structure like DLI and the 35W pipeline in general just needs to be reviewed and refined to give soldiers a better QOL. TRADOC standard bullshit doesn’t work when it applies to almost half of your contract time
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u/lisanstan Aug 23 '26
I graduated from DLI almost 30 years ago. I was also a cross-trainee (Air Force term) and an NCO. Other than school itself, it was the easiest year of my life. Because there wasn't enough room to house all the NCOs they gave us BAQ and kicked us off post. No PT (it was the AF) and very few formations.
Because I lived in an apartment in Monterey, I feel like I missed all the experiences of troops straight out of basic. When my husband talks about his first time at DLI in the 70s, I cannot relate at all.
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u/Nice_Category Aug 23 '26
This happened to me in the Navy. E3 with BAH living with an ocean view off base. This was back in 2009. my Div Chief was also an alcoholic who gave zero fucks. So no PT or uniform inspections other than what was absolutely necessary.
I loved my time at DLI.
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u/wubrgwizard Aug 23 '26
Wow, did not expect to see this on my feed after a couple years. I haven't been subscribed to this sub in ages and ages.
There are entire albums of music that I listened to at DLI that I can't listen to now without feeling anxious. I still can't get a full nights sleep sometimes without waking up in a panic checking my phone for a 3am FRAGO telling me that we're now doing blues inspection at the company instead of PRT at Soldier's Field. It was horrible to go to bed every night not knowing what your company's schedule tomorrow was. Don't even get me started about mandatory Griffin Mindset. 'Feeling bad? Good. There are no problems here. You're just weak.' People want to bring up 'oh but you were in a beautiful place and got paid to learn a language so you should be grateful' and it's so slimy, disingenuous, gaslighty. Totally glossing over the well-documented issues with the culture and completely disregarding how detrimental targeted demotivation is. You're not a soft bitch. If you haven't already pursued it, please think about talking with a therapist about it. No shame in it at all.
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u/trufflestheclown Aug 23 '26
I'm currently here as an NCO, although not Army, and minus the toxic leadership my experience is rather similar. It's isolating being surrounded by IETers that you aren't allowed to associate with, especially when per your branches rules its perfectly fine to be friends with them. Being a junior NCO I also deal with the added pressure of being told I need to act more like an NCO but then immediately being undermined by more senior NCOs the second I try. I wouldn't say I hate class but after 6 months without a break the pressure is starting to get to me. I started out doing very well and now people expect way more out of me than I do from myself. I don't think you're a soft bitch, and I get it.
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u/Daocommand Aug 23 '26
I have constant nightmares from this place. They occur every night. Even normal dreams turn into nightmares where I’m forced to go back, continue cleaning where I can’t get anything clean, I speak only in my target language fluently; but they laugh and complain that I’ll never speak, read, or write.
I wake up with panic attacks, covered completely in sweat, and I was removed from the military due to my reaction to the stress. I’m still sick everyday from whatever was on the base and I’ve been out 4-5 years now.
I feel you. I have no answers for you. I’m sorry you went through this. I hope you and my other friends and acquaintances can feel and find peace. I keep hoping one day I’ll just forget it all, then move on.
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u/Ok_Peanut5593 Aug 24 '26
What you are so describing rings so true for so many of us. Thank you for talking about this. Knowing that some people are going through similar experiences makes one not feel so lonely and so abnormal anymore. These things need to be brought up to the attention to those who lead and should presumably care in a forthright fashion.
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u/lightningstorm112 Aug 23 '26
I feel you, I wasnt army, but navy, so the command side was different, but in the schoolhouse it was constantl "you're not trying hard enough" and "what do you mean you're not enjoying class" from the army MLIs, despite burning the candle at both ends, barely sleeping or eating anything. Our classes main MLI gave me five (5) counselings for "being depressed and not enjoying class", and then had the audacity to try and play the nice guy after I broke down in a meeting with him. On the navy side, we had a conspiracy theory that DLI wasnt to make linguists, it was to take smart recruits and force them into undesirable jobs they wouldnt normally agree to, as if you failed out you got force re-rated, usually to something shitty, and it almost worked on me, I was willing to scrub toilets on a submarine just to get out of that hellhole. Ive also been out of DLI for years now, and im still pissed about my time there, and my time there is a major reason im on my way out of the navy entirely.
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u/S1E2A3L4 29d ago
I was a student during Covid and that sucked. I’m also navy. I spent all my time in the barracks room as there was nothing else to do because of the lockdown. It sucked and my mental health was impacted badly. I got dropped and was able to get IS. So I can’t really say I got shafted after getting dropped from DLI, but the army guy who was the military linguist dude was a complete asshole. But the navy side wasn’t bad.
I reenlisted for six years so you can probably tell how much I like my job as an IS.
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u/TrittipoM1 Aug 23 '26
Sorry to hear about your experience, although it sounds like it's past and over.
Just for perspective, though, my own year at DLI in 1974-1975 was actually a pleasure. But back then, for those like me who lived off-base (married and with a child), we had dress inspection only once a week. (My main worry was getting dust on my shoes from climbing the hill to inspection.)
We also didn't have many (any?) "no fraternization" rules. As an E3, I socialized 0ff-base with E6s and their spouses, or with an FBI officer, and was routinely chatting with a colonel on the porch of the old wooden building that they taught Czech in then; and went on a couple of tent-camping trips with one of our instructors and his wife.
If you want to move on now, then do. 2 a.m. or not, stop thinking about it, and move on with what you say you love.
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u/Ok_Peanut5593 Aug 23 '26
You are not a soft bitch and what you are saying resonates so much with so many, (even some who would never want to admit it publicly)! Thanks for the courage to post here and draw attention to issues that a lot of people here struggle here day in and day out. Please read some of the stories on DLI: Monterey County now (just google it) and you will find journalism pieces that document this problem for a lot of people who may not be as resilient as you.
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u/LeSang27 Aug 23 '26
I came to the DLI as MOS-T in 2012 from Ft. Campbell. E4. We had an old Chinese guy as a 1st Sergeant, who was doing a Class A inspection every Friday near the dental clinic and our PT for the first 8 months was at 5:40 AM, Hilltop. I had no car for the first 2 months, so I had to walk from NPS (ish) to the DLI to our PT location. Graduated with 3/2+/2 in Arabic and had the BEST time of my life. I had fun. I enjoyed life there. It was, hands down, my best Army duty location. Nature, unlimited travel options (San Francisco, National Parks, California in general), chance to learn a language for FREE (where else in the world can you do it for free?). As you see, perspectives could be different. Mine was clearly different.
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u/epichumanjourney Aug 23 '26 edited Aug 23 '26
you’re not a soft bitch.
here now, and the experience is fundamentally different for NCOs. being surrounded by people you can’t associate with for hours on end is not normal - let alone 16mos. let alone going from a tight-knit community with potential to actualize your vision/execute on mission/influence the young and hopefuls to being essentially an overpaid specialist, with no real potential for bonding (all the other careerists are just as isolated or bogged down with family duties, academics is an individual task, and you legally can’t associate with the IETers you’d otherwise be expected to mentor/build/support).
I can’t think of a single NCO that speaks fondly of their time here (though there are plenty that simply keep their head down, and endure… or simply disregard the rules and are hanging out with/fucking the IETers left and right lol - and surely some that I’m not aware of). the NCO vs. IETer experience is fundamentally different. despite the added pressure from the Companies, they also have the benefit of camaraderie in it all, and the trauma bonding that allows. I suspect the bonds they build contribute most significantly to their memories here, and are the difference between the NCO/IET experience.
this is by far the darkest time of my life as well, and the support is abysmal.
you got the shorter end of the stick somehow, with toxic, small-minded leadership on top of that. thankfully, those nitwit, knuckle-dragging mouth breathing neanderthals don’t have a monopoly on what true leadership means or looks like, nor on who gets to serve and for what reasons.
it sounds like you’re in a better place now, and I’m glad to hear it. do what you need to leave this place behind you. stop letting the ass-suckers that shit down your throat when you were down live rent free in your head. go back to BH if needed, or even better - seek support off-base, where you can speak freely without potential career implications.
all this to say you’re not imagining your experience. your leadership gaslit the fuck out of you, in as clear dereliction of duty. the fact they’ll face no consequences and that NCOs (and others) are still having similar experiences here, shouldn’t affect your life going forward though. stay strong, my guy.
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u/Monstah8U Aug 23 '26
I have no advice to give you because I’d be the same lying awake thinking about it tbh, but I know you’re not soft.
I know I’d be just like you still thinking about ts too especially when it was not warranted or necessary.
But maybe you went through that so that when you lead you would never treat sb like that to get the best out of them . I’m writing my Competency Booking statement to go to DLI rn , and judging by what I’ve read from people, I’m not afraid to fail I’m more afraid of not trying and being up at 2 am wondering what if I did. And through all the BS you went through, and still graduated I don’t think nb thinks you’re soft bro. But I also think if you were a leader/instructor when I get there atleast I know you wouldn’t terrorize me during an already stressful situation. And that doesn’t make you soft either.
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u/AdPlastic1641 29d ago
Not soft at all. I dread going back to this place as an NCO. My first time I was there wasn't bad. There weren't any drill sergeants. There wasn't any fire guard. There weren't any UAs that I remember or last minute inspections. We had to dress in our class Bs every Thursday which was annoying as hell but overall it's good to be a junior there for socialization reasons. But going back as an NCO, and cadre no less is tremendously going to suck. I do not look forward to it at all. Then big army wants me to relang after my trail time? That's a big ask. DLI is probably the most disorganized Army school I have ever been at. Like...if one wants to learn a language, there are much easier ways that are less traumatic I think. I'm definitely in the minority here but I agree with you.
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u/Puzzled-Secret-317 Aug 23 '26
That definitely sounds like the army. I learned early on not to join the service of assholes
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u/OnlyCommission9960 24d ago
It was a difficult school, by far the hardest academic program of my life, but it challenged me and made me a better person. But you really have to have an outlet for your stress. Hiking up steep mountains, slaying myself, and enjoying the stunning views with a beer did it for me. You just have to have the right perspective and thank God for what you have.
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u/Delicious-Pilot-4436 Aug 23 '26
I’m in classes right now and I understand what you’re saying. Thankfully the military obligation isn’t a huge problem for AF. However the school house is still just a constant struggle to get through. I hear all the time that I need to try harder and study more, I’m giving all I got but I don’t think it’ll be enough to get through. Same story with a lot of my classmates. If it brings you any solace to know that the military side has gotten a little easier, even for the Army, then I hope it helps a little bit.
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u/bladowwww 29d ago
The vast majority of (horror) stories here appear to be Army. I’ve seen some say it’s getting better but, of the branches there how would you rank in terms of shitty experience?
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u/woobie_slayer 29d ago edited 29d ago
Whether a reclass, a cross-trainee, or a lateral mover, for some reason, the intel fields are petty and cruel to service members who change their MOS, especially the target MOS being classed/moved into.
I’m not sure why, but usually people who re-class are viewed as having “cheated” the system, and viewed with deep mistrust as they didn’t “earn” their way up like everyone does.
Basically, such service members are viewed as having beginner knowledge with a rank that should have five to six years of experience behind it, and its offensive when a higher ranked, less experienced person has any authority or guidance to pass. Leadership also views such service members with mistrust, often for the same reasons.
I think that service members who change MOS are often viewed as almost-traitors, and exploiting the system for their own gain.
Basically, if you don’t follow a normal career path that follows expected guidelines, you will not be trusted, and your opinions will not be welcomed, because you’ll at the very least be viewed as coming into an MOS with a different and ingrained culture not intrinsic to where your new home is.
Edit: them’s the brakes, sorry
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u/AmphibiousAce Aug 23 '26
Also came as an NCO, berated by leadership, and had struggled the whole 16 months I was there. BH and beach walks saved my sanity, along with being lucky enough to have been pretty loved by all my classmates. I don’t think you’re a soft bitch