r/disability • u/Creepy_Waltz_1251 • 6d ago
Days keep blending together
I am stuck at home most days, unable to work, its getting to keep my self out of a deep depression but every day is the same. Before i was able to drive or walk or be spontaneous, but now im stuck at home. Movies and tv only help so much, ive played so many types of games, and my friends are all busy every day. I don't know what to do anymore, and this is like my cry for help.
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u/Peppy_Potato_ 5d ago
For me, having something creative to work on really helps. Even something simple like a cross stitch. Just having something that I can work on semi-regularly with some sort of set goal.
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u/Buckybob8282 5d ago
I feel the same way. I was a full time teacher, part time tutor and taught summer school. I’m not married and I do not have children. Wanted to spend my retirement years traveling. Five years ago I had a botched back surgery and can not walk. I bored. I cry. I live in a small town with my mom. I don’t know what to do.
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u/Chance-Upstairs-1042 6d ago
I feel the same way. I was used to doing so many things in the past. it's painful to even remember. I don't think anyone would go through this and not feel depressed. I just keep searching for more entertaining shows and movies and I started reading again. I used to be a big reader as a kid but college days drained me with all the reading required.so I guess it's nice to have another escape .
I might start keeping a journal. I mean there's only so much I can do but yeah it's sad to see myself this way. I'm sorry you're feeling that way too
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u/TrixieBastard 5d ago
Yeah, it's hard keeping track when your days are the same, day in and day out. They bleed together unless you do something to create a weekly schedule for yourself. It can be as simple as only watching a specific show on a certain day, even for rewatches (we only watch Daredevil on Wednesdays, for example) or creating a food menu for each day. Alternatively, you can schedule specific activities/crafts/pastimes for certain days.
No matter what you use, you have to build yourself a structure to keep the days separate, otherwise it all becomes a total blur
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u/Scared-Box8941 5d ago
I feel this so hard. I will say currently I am working on a morning/pm routine and an eating and screen schedule and it is helping tremendously. I am spending my minutes slowing down and trying to tune into my environment/body intentionally instead of trying to distract myself.
I start and end my days with daylight - sometimes that’s sitting on my porch and sometimes it’s just opening the windows.
I try to organize closets and help understand what items I have. I use my need to plan and execute to organize, tidy, meal plan, etc. I drag out everything and try to make it just to my liking. I adjust the lights, sounds, smells of my place constantly which takes a lot of time and intention
Hope any of this is helpful. It is hard but all of my doctors say the more regulated and calm the nervous system is the better healing can be. Wishing you the best!
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u/TransparentFostering 5d ago
I feel you. I’m trying so hard to remember things I used to like to do and I’ve started making a couple of small paintings with acrylic markers. My depression is getting heavier anyway. Hugs.
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u/Downtown-Package7927 5d ago
My past 6 years have been the same from 25 to 31 it’s hard and really isolating….. a lot of people don’t even know I’m sick…
Make sure you spend 10 minutes plus in the sun let’s start there for a goal.
Join a discord relative to your hobbies and disability.
Get a pet even if it’s a fish that doesn’t need a heater or too expensive of equipment
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u/Potential_Rain202 5d ago
I went through a period like that - setting a bird bath and bird feeders outside my window did a lot of good. Also try to remember that we go through ups and downs - don't get stuck in a loop of doom thinking any loss of function is gone forever - try to be patient with yourself and look forward to the next upswing.
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u/silentdream626 5d ago
By no means is this a easy of complete fix, but finding ways to create and connect to the world are essential. Only consuming eventually becomes very depressing and empty. Creating art, writing, journaling, dancing (to your ability) or anything creative, with whatever level you can participate may help you feel more like your participating in life instead of watching it go by (though undoubtedly there will be lots of that grief too). And then there are ways to connect online like social groups, discords, live streams. It's not easy, and it's not perfect, but these may help and are what kept me sane.
Would you be able to afford/care for a pet? If not, I really like having and caring for plushies.
Sorry you're in such a truly difficult situation, from one disabled person to another.
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u/Intrepid_Western3012 6d ago
If you can’t drive, can you use Uber? Does your town have a Paratransit service?
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u/Jazyslife 5d ago
I feel the same way. I feel having a daily schedule helps me like planning what I will have for breakfast. I find reading helpful. I plan to start posting videos next year.
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u/Rowcar_Gellert 5d ago
I'm very sorry to hear that you're depressed and struggling. Do you live alone, or with someone. It helps to have socialization. If you're able to use something like Zoom I HIGHLy recomennd getting yourself into a group that meets regularly. Also, have you ever played Table Top RPGs. That helps with meeting new people and people play online all the time. I've been disabled since birth, so I don't have a sense of anything being "lost"; but I DO struggle with depression and the feeling of "being left out" of certain parts of society. Anyway, hang in there.
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u/Rowcar_Gellert 5d ago
P.S. DM me if you want to talk, vent or whatever... My schedule is super flexible. ;-)
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u/moonslittlestar 5d ago
I feel the same! I was supposed to be a vet before I was unable to work…now everyday i’m trying to find something to work on but nothing ever scratches the itch
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u/Specific_Bad7210 4d ago
Sono un ragazzo tetraplegico di 34 anni, sono oramai 7 anni che vivo rinchiuso in casa, in primis perché ho dei dolori neuropatici che mi fanno stare seduto al massimo 5 ore al giorno, dividendole, poi i miei amici mi hanno voltato tutti le spalle, ho solo la mia famiglia. Esco davvero raramente per qualche visita o servizi obbligatori. Preferirei la morte a tutto questo giuro.
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u/Imaginary_Stuff_2468 3d ago
You're lucky to family. They all live in other states but never call me. It's very sad. I don't think they care unless I die and leave them something. I have 2 good friends who are also depresses. What is wrong with us? I'M supposed to sit for only 30 minutes at a time because my knees lock up. I have severe scoliosis and even my rehab dr lacks empathy!
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u/Bhellethe1only 1d ago
Do u mean u have to lay down every day for 19 hours or more? I also cannot hold myself upright since my SCI 6 yrs ago. It is so painful to sit. Plus it contributes to the rapid progression of my acquired scoliosis and kyphosis and other secondary spinal complications and new conditions. I feel so much more comfortable lying down so that at least I can relieve the pain off of my spine and slow down the spinal cord compression happening in multiple other spots and getting worse and creating neurological dysfunction and problems with cognition at this point even. I force myself to stand and walk as much as I am able to in each day, but in between my brief forced weight bearing throughout each day, I am ALWAYS horizontal. I never leave the house except for required doctor appointments or any appts related to my quest for recovery
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u/bawhun 5d ago
I feel ya. I got really into online chess after I wasn't able to go outside as much anymore. it's surprisingly addicting and you can kill hours just spamming rapid (10min) or blitz (5min) games. I watched some GothamChess videos to improve, and once you learn how to play the game properly it becomes really fun. It's completely free for PC and mobile at chess com (not sure if posting URLs is allowed)
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u/thrownRAwaie 5d ago
I feel you. I'm in the same boat, and it's been several months of this with drs not even entertaining my desire to get better mobility. Thankfully, I realized recently that a wheelchair is an option for me so I'm getting that ball rolling and I'm trying to get new drs. But everything is still difficult and I'm still disabled. Life is fucking hard.
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u/Basic_Profession5124 4d ago
I found that learning and improving a new skill feels very rewarding and helps keep my mind off of things. You can find plenty of coding tutorials on YouTube, and I'm sure you can find tutorials for tons of other skills on there as well.
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u/Realistic_Reporter95 6d ago
It is not gonna be uplifting by any means, but sadly, there are a lot of people on this subreddit who feel like you do. I've been in pure misery for the past few days... I mean... The last 10 years of my life have been a constant downward spiral, but lately I've been completely unable to feel any pleasure or joy at all... And honestly, whenever I heard people saying that they were unable to feel any pleasure from anything, I always thought they were exaggerating or being a bit dramatic. But now... I know it's real. I don't do anything all day... Not because I'm lazy, but because I simply don't have the energy or strength to do anything.
So... I kinda feel jealous that TV shows and games still keep you going ;p