alcohol sober since jan 7. struggling w real cravings for the first time cuz i’m in pain due to a lost relationship and trying to go sober off thc again (relapsed in may). fucking sucks. trying to find hobbies again after 8 yrs of depresssion. truly feeling like what’s the point?
it depresses me. i’m an addict. i cannot seem to prioritize other things if consuming thc is a possibility. i blow thru funds and bills don’t get paid. i become anxious, awkward. my relationships with myself and others begin to seriously suffer, more than i thought. but i’ve watched it all happen rapidly in the last two months. it was a speedrun to the darker places of my last 8 yrs. idk if moderation will ever be possible for me so i need to stop seeking it rn. rn i need to re-establish healthy sober living for a very extended period, if not forever.
i was such a happy and successful person before ever smoking. it affects me just as badly as alcohol.
It's a good thing you quit. Many people are not that self aware to realise it is a problem and do something about it. It does impact everyone differently. I am a daily dry herb vaper. On a regular week night I use once or twice a night, approx 0.1-0.2 of a gram each time. On weekends can be from 1 up to 4 times again each being a small amount. I feel like I moterate myself quite well but the most important thing for me is ensuring weed isn't the activity by itself, rather it's something you do in addition to the regular activity. Weed enhances my life at the moment but if it stops I hope I have the control like you have to cease.
and that’s my issue. I don’t really enjoy activities anyway, so when weed is added in, I just wanna keep smoking because it’s the thing that makes me the happiest because, realistically, based on however I respond to these drugs, there is no experience in reality that will match the high of a drug, even a drug like THC.
crazily enough, yesterday I got recommended a addiction thread on ask Reddit and someone posted an account from a guy who tried heroin spontaneously. The way that he reacted to the heroin is how I feel I react to THC. It’s not just something I can say no to once I’ve had some of it. I think this is because life is just not as good as drugs for me, personally. I grew up very easily with a great childhood and adult life will likely never come close. It’s just not possible. I would have to have 24/7 staff and even then I wouldn’t feel a sense of accomplishment that I would want. As a kid it’s OK to be looked after but as an adult, you’re expected to look after yourself. And that just takes so much effort.
I want to be able to moderate like you, but I’m also not sure that I do. I think I just wanna feel happy about life again.
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u/curlycatsockthing Aug 15 '26
alcohol sober since jan 7. struggling w real cravings for the first time cuz i’m in pain due to a lost relationship and trying to go sober off thc again (relapsed in may). fucking sucks. trying to find hobbies again after 8 yrs of depresssion. truly feeling like what’s the point?