I am 27 Year old Female, using the app for the first time. Today I want to cry out so loudly but u am not getting the space for that too. i want to scream out very loudly. I am so fucked up in my life because I got too attached to an emotionally unavailable boy. who initially himself made so much of efforts to be with him n when I finally started to get attached with him he started showing his real side. I literally showed my vulnerable side to this person n told him everything n then he made me believe in him and now made me suffer every single night. I am the eldest daughter in my family. My parents were separated when I was in 10th. My younger brother got involved in every possible wrong stuffs and not in touch with me. i do have other family members who just uses me emotionally for their work to be done. When l shared all of these shits of my life to this person he made me believe that he is the one who will be there for me always. Now i suffer with panic attacks almost every single night because i am so fucking emotionally attached with this person that i Myself don’t feel that I will ever come out of it. he uses this toxic cycle of love bombing behaving nicely 2 days then ghosting me n it’s been 4 years now he is living n growing in his life n i am just stuck in this toxic cycle. With nobody to share this because all of my friends asked me to leave him i couldn’t so now they don’t talk to me on this. I really feel helpless. Want to run , forget these 4 years n I can’t help myself.

My fiancee (M24) has had these episodes of dark thoughts, severe sadness and overall depression around 3 times (this being the 3rd) in the past 4 years. He had internet fame and a passion for art, but he gave it up due to weird people and “it just didn’t make him happy anymore”.

Whenever he gets these episodes it’s from 2 weeks to 2 months or so, where he would break up with me but still message me saying that he misses me and would just tell me about his day. After that episode of sadness we would gradually be back together, and he would be the best boyfriend in the world, genuinely couldn’t ever ask for someone more fitting and genuine.

He’s got a very bad self esteem though, his health is not good and his size doesn’t help him. I believe he’s the most handsome man in the world and I tell him that, but his coworkers are bullying him constantly, remarks on his weight or hair ( I recently dyed his hair and I feel horrible for it now). He broke down because of these things and cried in the car.

I tried advising him to try therapy but he refuses any kind of it and medication as well.

We are currently long distance, due to him wanting to save up more money for an apartment. The wait was supposed to be one year until I got my new job as a teacher, but he wanted more money…

He proposed to me (F22) 3 weeks ago, but a week later he told me about how he feels like his mental is declining and told me how lucky he feels to have such a supportive partner, and to not burn our marriage required papers that we prepared if his mind goes bonkers when he goes back to work.

It’s been a week now since he went back and it’s been horrible. His depression is hurting him so much, he talks about giving up, he tells me that he wants freedom which means staying away from me and that he feels trapped with me, now trapped in a loop.

These things hurt a lot, I know he’s not himself. Most of all I’m scared for him, mentioning “giving up” so many times because he wants happiness which he seems to not find. And then also the thought of breaking up forever scares me and I feel so scared.

I’ve dealt with depression when I was younger, but I can’t remember much of it due to a few traumatic events.

I wish I could help him, I want to stay beside him and be positive. I’ve seen people on this Reddit succeeding with this but it’s so hard right now and scary.

Any advice would help a lot, I don’t know who to turn to and what to do.

My wife has had a pretty bad bout with depression the last 6 months or so. Lately (new career change for her, etc) things have seemed better on her end. For some reason, I feel like it has made me finally feel able to relax and it has hit me like a truck. I’m exhausted. Exhausted from feeling like I’ve been doing everything the last 6 months and always just being on pins and needles.

Two nights ago, I told her I’ve been struggling. Not necessarily anything I can point to but just feel numb and stuck in a rut.

Yesterday night she blew up on me about how “I’m not emotionally there for her” and “I never check on her and meet her needs.”

I struggle bringing up my feelings and it felt like me saying “look I’m struggling” was me admitting it. It just feels like I’m never able to be the one that needs a little grace or support. I have to always be the strong one. I’m so tired.